• Published 20th Sep 2012
  • 7,699 Views, 493 Comments

Seeing the Pattern 2: Death Take You - Aegis Shield



Pinkamina battles Death incarnate using the mysterious power of the Pinkie Sense.

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The Great Beyond

Seeing the Pattern 2: Death Take You
Epilogue: The Great Beyond

Princess Luna was sitting on her haunches in the space between spaces. Next to her sat the ghost of Papa Apple, twice dead now, feeling naked without his cloak or scythe. “Welp, ah guess that’s it for me then.” He said a little glumly.

The dark alicorn looked over at him, smiling a little grimly. He was a handsome thing, blood red fur and an orange mane. The criss-crossing scars visible under his fur all over his body just made him look exotic to her. “Thy service to me was commendable, stallion, thy send-off was an honorable one.” She spoke rather softly, no aggression in her voice. “Thou fell before a worthy opponent, serving thy goddess. This pleases us.” She told him. Because of her sheer height, she could tuck his head under her chin because of how close they were sitting together.

“What’s out there?” Papa Apple found himself quietly asking. “Beyond that thar horizon?” he gestured to the magnetic pull of the great beyond. He was very careful not to look directly at it, for any dead soul would be drawn to it like a moth to a flame. A need to be there.

“The great beyond?” Princess Luna said, sliding a hoof around his massive frame. “That is the one thing alicorns may never know. Our immortality prevents us from visiting it, for we never truly die.” She admitted with a sympathetic smile. There was a long silence between them. This conversation was the one the dark goddess had been dreading for over a decade. “J-just think. Thy wife will be awaiting thou. She is also dead, yes?” she told him, offering a weak smile.

Papa Apple snickered a little. “I’ll miss you too, your majesty.” He told her. Her head sagged a little shamefully. So readable she was, sometimes! Scratching herself a little awkwardly, she tucked his head once more under her chin and embraced him. The stallion felt small for the first time in a long time. His great arms rose up to wrap around her, stroking her back.

Theirs was a strange, angry, biting, lusty relationship. But it had worked in its own freakish way, and not just in the bedroom. Both had been lonely for different reasons, and had found each other through vocation. Being Death was a lonely road, especially when one could not come into contact with the living. Being a goddess wasn’t much different, the forbidden fruit no stallion would dare touch. Call it animalistic, but they’d met a certain understanding years ago and had enjoyed each other while they could. It was all over now, though. She could give him a new body, yes, but why? He couldn’t go home. He couldn’t be Death again. His life was over now. Twice. It was time for the stallion to move on.

“Papa Apple…” she said softly, pulling back to look at the massive stallion.

“Aw shucks, you can just call me Apple, you know. Ahm not your Papa.” He snickered a little, and the princess smiled with a hoof over her mouth. Unashamed, the two ponies shared a quiet kiss. Their last. Slowly, he pulled away and faced the dreamy horizon of the great beyond. “Goodbye, Luna.” He smiled his charming smile, pushing his mane out of his face.

“Goodbye… Apple.” She whispered, unable to gather volume to her voice. She watched him walk towards his final horizon, a soul at peace. Come back, she wanted to shout. Come back, serve me again. Come back, we shalt give you a new body and a new job and thou shalt stay with me. She couldn’t form the words though. He was so handsome, so stoic walking forward like that. She imprinted the memory of his handsome stance, his determination. “Goodbye… goodbye…” she whispered as her head began to hang mournfully low. The goddess of death wept quietly, alone in the space between spaces. Such a wonderful stallion.

Luna thought she could hear his final, joyful words as he came closer to the light at the end of the horizon. “Oh wow! Oh wow! Beautiful!”

=-=-=-=

Celestia mumbled over another scroll that had been sent to her from who-cares-what-pony-noble about not-very-important-state-problem. She reached for her tea, but found it tasted of quiet mourning. Saturated on some ethereal level, where no other pony could taste it save her. A message from her sister. Though it was late afternoon and this was often Luna’s sleeping time, she was awake and wanting for company. Rare was it for the sisters to gather for a reason not related to running Equestria. Rising, the goddess of the day gave a quiet sigh. That was noise enough to alert her guards of royal movement (they had a tendency to sleep on their hooves if she didn’t move for more than six hours).

Spreading her wings regally, the solar princess started away from her study and towards her sister’s room. The servants made way for the white alicorn as she went from one tower of the palace to the another, flanked by her twin guards. Passing tapestry after statue after stained-glass window, she favored a few ponies with smiles or kind words but never stopped. Celestia stopped before the great onyx doors, looking at the lunar stallion posted at either side. They bowed respectfully, and their solar counterparts took their places next to them (nopony was allowed in a princess’ bedroom unless explicitly invited). Nodding with a serene smile, she went inside.

The midnight curtains kept out the day, the candles keeping a half-light that her dark sister could bear. “Thy interference hath cost me a powerful stallion.” Luna’s voice said from the darkest corner. “Think not I did not see the blatent solar magic in Pinkamina’s weapon of choice. She may not have realized it, but I did.” She was sour, and her eyes betrayed… crying? Celestia was understandably caught off guard. Her sister NEVER wept.

“I did what I had to, to stop all the madness.” Celestia said gently, coming forward and nuzzling her sister comfortingly. Luna was a little still, but didn’t lash out at her. “Death was going way out of line, and you know it, dear sister.” She crooned quietly, leaning and pulling a misaligned feather in her sister’s wingspan. She flinched at the preening and sighed.

“Perhaps, but that does not mean he could not have been reined in.” Luna said, though she knew she was only trying to convince herself. “The Aspect of Death was meant to be a powerful shepherd of the dead, and grasper of the souls of those that refused to move on when their time was up.” She sighed and leaned forward into her sister’s shoulder. The sisters enveloped each other in their massive wings, an ancient gesture only they shared. Like two great swans, they crooned at each other comfortingly. “We… did not intend all this madness. Ever since Pinkamina emerged, nothing but madness…” the dark goddess sighed. Celestia knew it was the closest she would get to an apology, but the tone was sincere so she was satisfied.

“And now she is the new Death.” The sun goddess said gently, almost like it was a question.

“Yes. We shall need to train her carefully. No one saw her die, so she’s at much greater risk of being exposed than D… than our stallion was.” Luna refered to him, unashamed, as her own. Celestia gave her a look, but got no apologies or embarrassed glances. She hadn’t known they’d been romantically involved. “Pinkamina shall be a Death with a feather-light touch.” She rolled her eyes a little, shaking her head with a smirk.

“What makes you say that?” Celestia asked.

“Her cutie mark talent is preventing deaths, and she’s just become the Aspect of Death.” Luna snarked a little. “Talent and vocation at opposite ends, she shall always be looking for excuses not to kill anypony.” She smiled at the irony.

“Death isn’t normally supposed to kill anypony, though.” Celestia reminded her.

“We know, but when the time comes and she feels the urge that the cloak gives her…” Luna paused a moment to word it correctly. “Her decisions shalt be tempered with more mercy than the job hast previously employed. It will be interesting to watch her do it.”

=-=-=-=

Pinkamina awoke in the late morning with Lickity lazily stroking her. She turned her head only slightly, looking at him. Sun came through the window in a heavenly beam that heated the room rather nicely for wintertime. He leaned over her, pressing his lips to her forehead. She murr-growled slightly, turning on her side. She’d been out so late doing she-could-never-explain and she smelled like smoke. “Lickity…” she croaked at him.

“Hi.” He whispered quietly, his expression soft and loving. “You saved me. Again.” The white, green-maned stallion praised her quietly, nuzzling up and down with slow, heady motions. She rested there until she came more and more awake.

“Not my fault you couldn’t take care of your own soul.” She sulked a little, turning her head to one side. He nibbled on her ear instead until she gave a slight giggle and pulled it from his mouth.

“I have you to look after me, though.” He crooned softly, reaching towards the end table. He held something high, over the sun coming in the window. The pink mare squinted at it hard. “Forever.” He turned the golden, glittering object a little before bringing it down. The engagement hoop. She’d promised to marry him after she’d conquered Death. She swallowed a little, pondering technicalities. Well, she’d… she’d beaten Death, but now she WAS Death, did that count? She didn’t know. Pinkamina was a little scowly in her private thoughts and only cocked her head when he gently took her hoof with his. “Marry me?” Lickity Split whispered. She stared at the golden hoop hovering over the tip of her right-front hoof for a long time. She licked her lips a little, looking into his loving face. There was a long silence. He began to wilt and look sad, and she finally shoved her hoof through. The hoop held above her ankle like it was supposed to. Lickity beamed at her, then leaned over her for a deep kiss. She held his face firmly with one hoof, closing her eyes pleasantly.

“Lickity…” Pinkamina said drowsily, a little caught up in the heady feeling of the stallion paying such good attention to her. She didn’t trust herself not to pounce on him right then, but then half the day would go to waste. She’d fall asleep curled up with him, and there was plenty to do. Nosing his cheek she rose authoritatively, determined to shake off sleep. He nibbled at her shorn fetlock a little and she jittered back, scolding him with her eyes. Hey lay there, splayed out and very much on display for her. Now where had he picked up that little trick, she wondered with a smirk. “I still smell like smoke.” She told him, crossing the room towards the bathroom. “If anypony asks you about the Sweet Apple Acres barn burning down, act surprised about it.” She called over her shoulder.

“Right.” Lickity Split smiled bemusedly. “That whole saving my soul thing, right?” she nodded at him, stepping into the bathroom to freshen up. By the time she emerged again she felt much better, didn’t smell of smoke and had coaxed her mane into something more presentable. She examined the hoop on her ankle, turning it back and forth. “So what’re you gonna do with your day?” Lickity asked her from the kitchen.

“The same thing any mare does when she gets an engagement hoop.” Pinkamina snorted, rolling her eyes at her silly stallion. “I’m gonna go show it off to everypony.” She went to the kitchen, grabbed a banana from the hook, pecked his cheek and was off. He smiled, watching her go. Her genuine smiles really were radiant.



THE END

Comments ( 154 )

HUZZAH! ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES IS BACK!

So... where's part 3? :D

1306002 I figured

Earth Pony /2 = Two Earth Pony

:pinkiehappy: :pinkiesad2:

Alright! So far this is really good, just like the original! I can't wait to read more (I'm not even half way yet)!

Why is it marked 'Incomplete' when it is quite clearly complete?

And that was awesome. *peeks at other comments* there's a part 3? I can't wait for that.

I don't care that I haven't read it yet. You get an instant like and a favorite.

WHY THE BUCK IS THERE NOT A NORMAL PINKAMENA ICON*?!?!

*By normal, I mean not sad, but not insane.

ALL MY LOVE:flutterrage:
Also will there be a third or is this it?

I have work early tomorrow, it's 1 PM now. Buck sleep.

This is awesome, will I be seeing some bonus chapters?

1306816 Wait, what? Pm or Am? I also ask because it's 1am here! :twilightsmile:
Absolutely awesome, obviously, since it's 1am and, here I am! This series is/was just fantastic. I loved your portrayal of the princesses, Pinkamina... well everypony really. When I saw who father time was I actually said "Of course he is," out loud. (In a good way!)
As with the others, I'd be very interested in a part 3, assuming you have some sort of inspiration to run with.

Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

Well that was brilliant

1306017

I am shocked and appalled that your note blaming me is gone.:raritydespair: How could you do such a thing to me?:raritycry:

1306883 Lol my bad, I meant AM. Lack of sleep messing with the noggin.:derpytongue2:

LETS GET THIS UP TO THE FEATURE BOX :yay:

*Wakes up
*Sees this
*Makes a (WHREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!:pinkiegasp:) sound
*Passes out
*Wakes up
*Sees this
*Smiles darkly :rainbowdetermined2:

I might have jumped to the last chapter to see if it was too sad.

No regrets, now I can read the entire thing from the beginning :D

Something's wrong here. I added this story to my favourites, but it won't show up on my favourites list. Not to mention that this story doesn't appear on the author's profile or anything.

I must say, this interpretation of Luna is, darker. Like you said on your profile, more of a greek god mentality. I don't like it, it makes me dislike Luna (kind of in the way "Rainbow Factory" makes me hate Dash, but a little less so in this case). Still, good story, I hope I can find other Pinkamina stories like this out there (most are just senseless "cupcakes" iterations).

this was so epic

So is there a part 3 that has yet to be re-uploaded?

And if not... WRITE PART 3! :flutterrage:

1309324 Someday there will be a part 3, right now it is called "Seeing the Pattern 3: Stopping Destiny". It has not been written yet.

IT is telling me that you reposted this story yet I see no knew chapters, do you know why this is?

1309680 It just passed moderation inspection and has been officially posted to the site. You guys got the sneak peek through my blog, like a back door. :derpytongue2:

Oohh, I read something before I was supposed to.:yay::yay:

She is heart set on screwing around with fate. I love it. I'll read this later.

1308922
There needs to be a like button.

Awesome! Pinkamina, but with no cupcakes, and more importantly, an exceedingly brilliant character. I f:yay:ing love this story. Will there be Part Three?

Marvelous. I look forward to part 3.

I wish many other authors could learn to world build with out beating the reader in the face with it like you have. Carrot Top, Doctor Whooves, AppleDash, all subtly woven in to the story without drawing unwarranted attention. So many times an author will bring a narrative to screeching halt to throw in a few lines to solidify their OTP, or Doctor Whooves, into the story for no reason. You just let these things be part of the world and flow around them and its so nice when I can point at someone and say, "Look at him, that's how you do it."

And now, for the second feature box story!

Let's see if we can't get two stories in the same series in the feature box at the same time.

Hey! Congratulations on hitting feature box again! It's so weird seeing it up there along side it's prequel, but wierd in a good way

His great armsrose up
Hey lay there

1. Uhh... forelegs?
2. He.

Loving the story, I cannot wait for the third part!:pinkiehappy:

1311283 Horses DO have a part called "arms", just not like us humans have arms. :pinkiegasp:

1311335
Ignoring the fact that I don't really think that Equestrian Ponies and Real World Horses share very much anatomically, a horse's "arms" are so short (proportionately) that they're practically vestigial.

That's not to say that they don't serve their purpose or anything, but the vast majority of what we see as their forelegs is actually their "hand", so to speak.
As in, the forward bending "knee" looking part is the beginning of their finger.

Just commenting here to try to drive this story up the charts. Come on, everypony! Fave and thumbs-up! Let's see if we can get Aegis on 3 simultaneous feature spots!

Alright... I've got to play the bad guy here, and frankly, the only reason I feel comfortable doing so is that someone else said something, so I'll get started.

I didn't like this story.

Don't get me wrong, I read the first one, and I liked it. I did think it had problems too, and the reason I didn't bring them up there is that, when I heard there was going to be a sequel, I thought the issues that were in the first one would be addressed, but they aren't. This isn't a blind hate-comment, this is a criticism of the story itself. Just thought I should note that before people start tearing me to pieces.

I'll get started with some positive points: the characterization of Pinkamina is an interesting one, getting away from the cliché of the murderous psychopath. Her exploits, her backstory and her chemistry with Lickity Split are all a delight made the first story thoroughly enjoyable to read.

Both this and the first story are rife with problems, this one more so than the first. The first story had a problem when it introduced the two Princesses and the idea of Karmic (Kharmic? The spelling changed between chapters) death and the idea that the prevention of these deaths- that all appeared to be accidents- would wrinkle the fabric of reality and of the universe. This raised a lot of questions, though the ones that came to mind are:
1. What is Karma in the context of this story?
1.5. Is it like the concept most of us are familiar with, where there is Good Karma for doing good deeds and Bad Karma for doing evil deeds, or is it different?
2. How does one "Run Out" of Karma?
3. If it is indeed fate that propels these events, why is Pinkamina able to prevent any of them?
4. Given the Fatalistic premise of the story, why would the alicorn princesses see her abilities as something that goes against fate, since she was clearly born with these powers?
5. Why are the Princesses worried about someone preventing the accidental deaths of mortals who would die sooner or later anyway?
And the biggest one that I really hoped would be addressed in the sequel,
6. What exactly are the consequences of these fates being changed that the Princesses are so worried about that they go out of their way to threaten one pony?

#6 was a huge one for me, and it's mostly because it's implied that Pinkamina's been doing this for a long time and hasn't been noticed or stopped until the story began. If her preventing deaths was such a big deal, A. Why wasn't she stopped sooner? B. Why hasn't anything massively catastrophic happened to the fabric of reality? I didn't address this in the first story when I read it because I thought, in the sequel, there'd be a big, cataclysmic event that would force Pinkamina to reconsider trying to prevent the predestined deaths of ponies around her (Like every time a preordained death happened, a way into the world beyond would open. However, since no souls were coming into the world beyond when it opened up, the door just stayed open, and now some sort of eldritch monster has stepped through and can only be sent back during another destined death, or maybe because their Karma ran out, the people whose deaths Pinkamina prevented start experiencing terrible misfortune while Murphy's Law goes into overdrive and everything bad that could possibly happen to them does happen). However, what happened in Death Take You was very different and raised far more problems. Since these would take forever to discuss in detail, I'll make them as brief as I can.

-The Aspects- I had a problem with the introduction of the other two aspects, mostly because I felt that they seemed... Extraneous. Aside from Death, what do the other two beings actually do in the long run? They're aspects of Fate, but what exactly does that mean? Does Mother Nature create new life forms? Does Father Time... Um... Fix temporal anomalies? Prevent Time Magic from doing anything but what's ordained by fate? He takes Celestia on a ride in his TARDIS, but given the fact that she created the TARDIS (or at least got somepony else to do it), this is something she could have easily done on her own.

-The Aspect of Death- I had a lot of problems with the aspect of Death. First, his demeanor and attitude don't really strike me as that of a shepherd of the dead. He seems more like a petulant, sadistic child who takes pleasure in inflicting pain and throws temper tantrums when he's outwitted by Pinkamina. The reveal of him as Papa Apple doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense since his aren't the actions of a father fighting for the life of his son. He likes his job way too much for that. It would have made more sense if he showed regret for his actions, or him trying to apologize each time he sees Pinkamina, but assuring her that he does this because he must, not because he wants to, or even occasionally showing him mouthing off to Luna about how he sometimes really hates his job and wishes someone would take his place (foreshadowing). Hell, a weird thought crossed my mind that it would actually make sense if he WAS Prince Blueblood, since it would explain why he's generally a jerk to most people (A. He's a psychopath who likes his job as the reaper too much, or B. He's trying to prevent himself from getting attached to anyone because he might have to see them die). What also bugs me is the necessity of an Aspect of Death, since, from his own admission in one of the chapters, Natural Deaths would still occur without his intervention (I assumed it includes dying of old age and disease). It isn't as if these will be stranger eons when death may die, it just means that deaths won't occur by accident anymore, and even then, misfortunes probably could occur independent of the intervention of the Death Aspect (again, Fatalist viewpoint presented in this story would mean that such a thing would be preordained and would happen one way or another, so again, why this is a problem for the aspects or the princesses eludes me).

-Princess Luna- You saw this one coming from a mile away, since someone already commented on it. Luna depicted as a cruel, sadistic and overly sensuous tyrant is... Unnerving. I understand that this is an alternate universe, but giving her so many titles and seeing her flaunt them around doesn't really sit well with me. The one scene that sort of cemented my dislike of this Luna was the scene with the man who believed he was infertile. When she said that he would be fertile until dawn, and later revealed that his wife was barren, it made me ask "Why didn't she just tell him, make some sort of long, drawn-out ritual and preparations to have him come back another time with his wife so she can either fake giving her fertility or tell him that his wife is incapable of having children, but she would be willing to have a child and give it to them in her place?" Yeah, neither makes a lot of sense in reality, but both seem like things this Luna would probably do. She said herself that she gets bored at the midnight court and would like to see ponies come more often, you'd think she'd milk it for all she's worth rather than just lie and wave him off. Her callous attitude toward suffering, given her background (which as far as I can tell hasn't changed with the Alternate Universe), was appalling. The feeble attempts at the end of each story to redeem her fell flat for me, if they were attempts to redeem the character at all. The first story, at least she gives Pinkamina the warning one more time, which is what I thought would lead into the big consequences for preventing deaths, but in the second story, her revealing that she has to teach Pinkamina how to be death and that she was in love with Papa Apple didn't really do much for my view on the character as a whole.

This is the end of my critique, you may take it or leave it as you wish. All of this having been said, I will read the third installment, if only because the first story got me interested and I really, REALLY want to see this improve. If you took the time to read and consider all the points I've presented, I thank you. I liked your previous work, and I hope to see such quality again in the third part.

-Tzelael

You... good Sir... are EVIL! I say this because I have not gotten any sleep in FOREVER, (As done in Pinkie Pie's voice), and I desperately need sleep. And what do I find, you post a sequal to a story I LOVE! So I have to read it! I CANT read it tonight... TOO EFFIN TIRED!

But if I dont read it, it will be preying at the back or my mind, like Pinkamina baking Derpy and Dashy flavored cupcakes, and she wants to add me to the recipe...

Yeah... so I am trapped in a Tataros of no sleep cause I am reading, or in a similar Hell caused by the tossing and turning of a mind desperate to read this!

So, I guess I shall pray that I dream of Pinkamina finally bitchslapping the crap out of Luna, and maybe tomorrow, when I wake, we shall see if my dreams come close to what the storyline is lol

This was a great story. :twilightsmile:

Your version of Pinkamina is spectacular. Great story. Though, it would have been interesting to see Big Mac wake up during the fight with Papa Apple.

media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/5363/403930-tai_kaliso_large.jpg

"This will not end well for you."

I can't say the same for me, if it ends anything like the last story... then i'll smile in the end.

This was a great story...

1309370:rainbowderp::yay:

You have written a story.

Where Pinkie dies.
And Pinkamina is the main character.
And the princesses are kind of mean.
And Death incarnate wreaks havoc.
And Pinkamina herself becomes Death incarnate.

AND IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING? :pinkiegasp:

WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY?

1312002

Very good question, WHY are the Royal Sisters so afraid of a disturbance in kharmatic deaths?
All will be revealed in part 3, "Stopping Destiny."

:pinkiecrazy:

Hm... Death, Pinkamena, Pinkamena fights death, Pinkamena is death...

Still wondering though as to the mystical, magical, an karmic properties of this KARMA, but I guess since there's another one coming out (:yay:) I'll just have to wait and see.:twilightsmile:

As always, keep up the most awesome work, my good sir. Have a mustache. :moustache: or three :moustache::moustache:

I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've ever seen a story and it's sequel take two spots on the featured box. Good job. :D

I loved this story, and the first one. And I just thought I'd let you know if you as yet unaware-
You have two stories in the feature box at one time. :pinkiehappy:

yay! It's back! I love these!

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