It was just supposed to be an errand run!
A student gets more than she bargained for when a run to the store for a video game ends with her losing her life saving someone from death in Aisle 8, and finds herself face to face with an unexpected sight: An alicorn in the afterlife! Celestia offers the girl a new chance of life on Earth, a one-way ticket to Heaven, or a chance to try a hoof at being a hero in a chaos-embroiled Equestria. The newly named Twilight Sparkle opts for option 3, and with the help of her "cheat item", sets off to save Equestria with the help of some helpful(?) new friends!
A Konosuba fusion fic
Chapters (8)
Hmm. Well, ok. It's well written. The delivery is convincing. You have my attention.
It occurs to me though, that Konosuba worked because everyone in it was bad at their job and had huge personality flaws. They were so incompetant and made such consistently poor choices that when bad things happened to them, the audience didn't generally feel bad for them because they kind of deserved it. And when they did manage to succeed, whether through desperation or goading or sheer dumb luck, it was a heartwarming victory in the same way you feel proud of a chihuahua that manages to scramble up onto the couch after a dozen failures. The bar of expectation was so low that any success at all was a huge victory.
I don't see any of that kind of dynamic here. Look at Celestia reasonably pointing out that she might be recognized. Compare her statement that she "hopes she may be of some use" to Aqua crying and screaming and whining and begging. This characterization of Celestia is not Aqua. And I don't get the impression that your protagonist is Kazuma either.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's fine to take the premise and make your own characters. But if this is supposed to be Konosuba with ponies, I'm not seeing the characterization here that made Konosuba work.
Never even heard of Konosuba, but there's a massive scarcity of stories of people reborn as one of the Mane 6. Not getting stuck sharing the same body, or the no-name loser kicks out the rightful owner. Just straight up being the character from the start.
11355539
It's definitely something I've given a lot of thought to when writing this, since there's a rampant problem in Isekai stories where the protag just shows up and immediately wrecks shop, gets everything they need, etc. While I'm going to stick close to the events of the story for much of it, the character dynamic Twilight, Celestia, and of course the rest of the party will be absolutely different. I do hope to try to accentuate flaws as the characters enter situations where screwing up can leave the party at a serious disadvantage, but with an introductory chapter like this, it's a bit harder to show it. There's a lot of difficulty in making the party likeable in spite of incompetence, as you mentioned, and I hope I can do my best to try to walk the line as I flesh the characters out more in the coming chapters.
So while Celestia may not be a crybaby and Twilight not a panty thief(Not that ponies even have panties?), I do look forward to showing off the long list of reasons these two and their company do, in fact, deserve to get thrown through the proverbial wringer. Hopefully I can do it justice!
I didn't know what the crossover was with, then I looked it up; I have to say I enjoyed this chapter immensely more than the source material.
11355539
The thing is, Kazuma isn't bad at his job. In fact, he's not only incredibly lucky (high luck stat), but he's also extraordinarily competent. It's Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness that are so horrendously bad at what they do they're literally dragging him down to fail at basically everything they try. In the LN there were a few times where Kazuma actually helps out another group and basically breezes through the entire quest because of how amazing he is; his abilities, planning, his luck, all of it contributing to the quests and the group he's helping out can't help but be incredibly impressed.
If Kazuma hadn't made Aqua come to that world with him, and he would've gotten a cheat skill, he honestly probably would've saved the world already.
This is a interesting cross over take. Glad Twilight asked for a friend since that’s her character. I kind of wonder how ponies will react to Celestia
So....Twiggles as Kazuma, Celestia as useless Goddess...Hmm.....Applejack as Darkness and Sunset or Rainbow as Megumin?
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As long as EX-PLO-SHUN is convincing, the rest will work itself out. Good luck :)
11356616
Rarity would make a better stand-in for Darkness. Darkness was a high society lady slumming it as an adventurer. Rarity wants to be a high society lady and is slumming it in Ponyville. Also, it's a lot funnier to imagine Rarity desperately trying to sex up anything she can than imagining Applejack doing it.
Fluttershy is obviously Wiz. Maybe even Flutterbat, that fits.
I think it might have been a mistake to have Celestia as Aqua rather than Luna though. Eris was the reasonable one, and Celestia fills that role better. Meanwhile it's very easy to imagine Luna as the out-of-touch crazy one, getting Twilight into trouble, drinking too much, not understanding social consequences to bad ends, etc. And with Celestia as Eris, the recurring small boobs joke easily becomes a large flanks joke.
Megumin is the hardest role to fill. She has to be a unicorn, but Twilight is already taken, and Rarity is a much better fit for Darkness. So...Trixie, Sunset, Starlight...but all three had antagonistic relationships with Twilight, and Megumin is by far the one Kazuma gets along with the best. Trixie probably fits the best, since she was kind of a one trick pony and not a great all around spellcaster, which does suit Megumin. But then who fills the role of Yunyun? Twilight was Trixie's rival, and since she's filling in for Kazuma, she can't be Yunyun. So, who else? Lyra, maybe? She was friends with Twilight back in Canterlot, so that sort of fits. And she has a reputation in the fandom for being nutty, so that also fits. And that leaves Bon-bon as the obvious choice for Yunyun, and instead of rivals for the conflict between them, they were former lovers, and Lyra has moved on but Bon-Bon hasn't, so she's always stalking Lyra.
So yeah, that's how I'd cast this:
Kazuma: Twilight
Aqua: Luna
Eris: Celestia
Darkness: Rarity
Wiz: Flutterbat
Megumin: Lyra
Yunyun: Bon-bon
And then Rainbow Dash and Applejack can be demon army generals. Not because they're evil, of course, but simply because of a friendly rivalry they have going.
And then Pinkie is the demon king.
11356752
What about Sunburst or Starswirl as Megumin?
11356773
Then who is Yunyun?
If Starswirl is Megumin, Twilight is the obvious choice for Yunyun, but she's already taken. If Sunburst is Megumin, then Starlight is the obvious choice for Yunyun. And I don't really see Starlight filling the role of clueless/harmless stalker who always loses very well. Plus, Megumin is a huge fan favorite and she has to be somebody that people like. Sunburst isn't exactly a super popular character.
Well I must say, Celestia is far better company than Aqua.
11356805
The author doesn't have to pick the most popular character to fit the character. Really like you said about Celestia she doesn't fit the goddess role. For whoever chases Starswirl you could have like Stygian be the big fan since well he was a big fan who was always in the background or leading Star and the other heroes to save the day.
Sunburst with Starlight lurking on him does sound better. Which I would love to see more Sunburst. The author could even pick Rainbow Dash with Scootoloo being the lurker.
Edit: Just thought of Coco after just seeing the author's pfp.... I think that pair would work too.
i can only express my feelings of this story one way
c.tenor.com/2m1yGjnf_LUAAAAd/jotaro-kujo-yes.gif
Please proceed
11356752
Rainbow Dash would fit Megumin the best, both are impulsive, obsessed with coolness, and Rainbow is almost as single minded on her skill set. Could easily substitute Explosion with Rainbooms.
They are so analogous that both are useless inside dungeons or any enclosed space.
But I dont know if the author is aiming at that.
derpicdn.net/img/2020/11/20/2492254/large.png
Oooh. I was hoping for an Aqua esque Celestia. It would have been hilarious to watch her suffer with her. (Unless there's something else in mind, then never mind)
11356095
It's the power of resistance training; he's so competent because he normally works so hard carrying the rest of his party.
Well this was neat, glad to see a continuation.
So, Tempest Shadow I'm guessing. And high wisdom but low intelligence fits Celesria perfectly!
honestly very excited to see a MLP take on konosuba, even if it might ultimately just flip to "the RPG tropes are actually kind of played straight". in that sense, while konosuba was a deconstruction (because everyone in the world sucked), this might be a reconstruction (since everyone in equestria is nice)?
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It's going to end up a bit of both sides as it goes on. Celestia in particular is definitely somewhere between FiM's benevolent ruler and Konosuba's useless goddess, so while she is making an effort to put her best hoof forward so far, you can expect some Aqua-esque escapades as the story progresses to keep things interesting!
I love the continual subversions where things turn out okay because people are reasonable.
Very fun read.
Ohhhhhhh, they're in Detroit.
Celestia being happy just because she's out and about is always a vibe I can get behind.
Celestia obviously got some kind of strange vibe from Fluttershy. Now my question is, when will this pay off? Next chapter/that night? Or will there be a chance meeting with Fluttershy's expected guest that somehow sheds light on that? It might have been an offhand comment, but it seems too deliberately out of place to not go anywhere. Guess we'll see.
'unless I wanted to make up a cool-sounding backstory to explain why I ended up with an eyepatch'
Megumin feeling called out here :D
A bit is half a quarter. That is, twelve and a half cents. You've probably heard it in the expression, "shave and a haircut, 2 bits!"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bit_(money)
Atleast this is a step up from the stables that kazuma sleeps in
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Considering Flutters is most likely Wiz's counterpart, and thematically it'd suit her better being a vampire than a lich, I'm not so sure a vampire's guest room is better than a pile of hay.
Not that I'm worried, it's still Fluttershy after all.
11370326
Since this is the second time it's been mentioned, here's a little possibly-relevant quote from the Light Novel when Wiz does show up-
"Lich.
On par with vampires, they were top-tier among the undead."
It's funny how some things just work themselves out
Poor Celestia. Going to be a horrible time getting toad spit out of her coat.
I still think Lyra is a good choice, but I'm guessing you probably either went with Trixie or Rainbow Dash. Depends on whether you decided it was important for Megumin's replacement to be a unicorn or not.
Megumin is a one trick pony with her explosion spell. Trixie mostly does illusion, and it's easy to justify that she's bad at all other magic and focuses on illusion because it's all she can do and haughtily insists that illusion magic is superior to hide her incompetence. That's an interesting dynamic. But if Trixie is Megumin, who is Yunyun? Starlight maybe, but that doesn't fit very well.
Rainbow Dash isn't a one trick pony at all. She's fast and manouverable and capable and has lots of tricks, but the Sonic Rainboom is kind of like explosion, so it's possible you might have gone with that. And having her pass out after her one Sonic Rainboom of the day is easy to match with Megumin's explosion behavior. But personality, the character, her general role in the group...I don't think Dash fits as well. The Sonic Rainboom matches explosion, but Rainbow Dash doesn't match Megumin, and I think this casting could cause problems later down the road trying to force a square box into a round hole. For example, Trixie can easily collapse and be useless and demand to be carried around and make jokes about Twilight being her personal porter. Are you really going to have Dash do that? It's not a good personality fit. On the plus side though, it would make Yunyun's casting easier, because Scootaloo can fit the role of stalker pretty easily.
I started watching the anime so that I could understand the references.
Megumin: my first impression was Trixie, but no idea who her Yunyun could be. After people's suggestion of Rainbow Dash, that might work and also gives you Lightning Dust as Yunyun.
My initial guess for Wiz was Fluttershy which seems to be accurate. That seems to leave Rarity as Darkness. The hero might be Sunset or Starlight
What if Aqua wasn’t an awful person. This is the answer and I’m curious to see more.
11376837 Eh, nothing that setting yourself on fire can't fix! ... Unless the problem is that you are on fire. Then you're screwed.
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My head canon is that Aqua is actually completely competent, intelligent, and self-aware. But she knows the score and is playing a role.
Throughout the show she has moments of hypercompetence. Whenever something is really important, she's always there. She can toss out ressurections like candy and she can cast spells like this and this, but then she completely fails against low level frogs and acts like her water party trick spell is a big deal. She's serious business when necessary, and then instantly goes back to the role of whiny, helpless court jester.
I think she's playing a variation on God Was My Co-Pilot. Stories aren't made better by stealing the main character's thunder. She's playing dumb, and she's really good at it.
At least, that's my take on it.
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Self-immolation is always the answer! Slime, intoxication, insurance salesmen, it makes every problem go away!
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I like the theory but that’s not how it is. She is dumb and selfish. Her philosophy is literally “You’ll have regrets in life no matter what you do, so just do what’s most attractive to you right now and don’t think about the consequences”. She can cast strong magic like a unicorn in MLP with a cutie mark might be able to cast complicated spells related to that mark without ever learning them through sheer instinct and Aqua can do the same because the kind of magic she uses is in her nature. That’s actually what makes her somewhat interesting. She’s good at construction work because she’s strong and her magic can be very helpful around worksites like how she can instantly dry concrete by sucking the water out of it and she also genuinely enjoys working jobs like that because they’re fun and satisfying for her to do. It would be in her best intrest to work an honest life but she doesn’t because she’s dumb and when she does it’s usually because circumstance swept her up into it like with the fortress walls. If you haven’t read that part yet there was a part in the story where a place is being attacked but because Aqua is so good at construction the walls go from collapsing to getting bigger after each of the enemies attacks. Her adventurer card straight up says she has low intelligence and when she levels up it doesn’t increase at all. Kazuma was sad for her because she’s stuck as dumb as she is for the rest of her life and will continue to shoot herself in the foot at the exspense of herself and those who have to bail her out like him. She only ever does the right thing when driven by some sort of emotion which she quickly gets over. She’s a in the now kind of person. She would think being stung by bees isn’t so bad, get stung by them and then think it’s the worse thing ever. Then after she’s recovered and the pain is just a memory she would immediately go back to thinking it would be so bad because she didn’t learn her lesson and isn’t currently experiencing the pain. Her brain works almost like if you set all of her thinking to “out of sight, out of mind” even for things that don’t have to be seen.
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How would you know, though?
Remember, she's an afterlife goddess and she's personally responsible for overseeing reincarnation. The whole premise of reincarnation is that "You" are an immortal spirit being, and when you reincarnate you forget most of yourself and go live a new life without the benefit of "the whole you." But that information isn't gone, you just don't have access to it right now. Kind of like when you play a game, you assume the identity of your character avatar. And that avatar doesn't have access to "the rest of you." For example, maybe you sitting at the keyboard do martial arts and can do a spinning back kick...but your character in the game can't.
But in Konosuba we regularly see that Aqua isn't cut off from her higher self. She can employ goddess abilities, and does so fairly often. Yes, her avatar learns party tricks in accordance with the rules of the game/world she's playing at, but nevertheless she can ressurect the dead, conjure floods, etc. It's no great stretch to suggest that since she clearly has access to her goddess abilities, maybe also has access to her knowledge too. After all, as a goddess in charge of reincarnation, it makes sense that she would have some insight into the process when doing it herself.
Now the question is, do we see any evidence of that in the show? And actually...yes, we do. Aqua routinely has "coincidences" happen surrounding her choices that have long term consequences. For example, when she defeats the first demon general, she also destroys a good chunk of the town, resulting in the party losing out all the money they would have made from the quest completion.
You might dismiss that as her "bad luck," but let's think about this. The whole reason they're there is to defeat the demon king. And we see very clearly in season 2 when they get the mansion, that the moment Kazuma doesn't have to, he's going to stop trying to save the world. If Aqua is a nigh-omniscient goddess, then deliberately sabotaging that money makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?
We see something similar a second time, when her undead-attraction powers cause problems for when they do end up in the mansion. How many episodes do they spend goofing off and totally neglecting that whole 'saving the world' problem? If Aqua wants the world to be saved, again, it makes sense for her to sabotage their situation at the mansion to encourage Kazuma to get back to business.
I think she knows these things, but she's playing the fool.
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no, its canonical that with out Aqua around he would have killed the Deamon king in a few months.
she is just that bad. the whole reason Kazuma could even take her with him is that the other gods were sick of her shit and wanted her gone.
then it turned out aqua was really REALLY GOOD at her job and they cant keep up with the demand and want her back. but she isn't coming back any time soon.
Trixie it is. Darkness, next!
Though I am still curious who will be Yunyun. Or whether, I admit, she'll even be appearing in this fic. She's a sufficiently minor character that I suppose it's possible you might choose to skip over her. Maybe.
New party member acquired! Now to see if exploded toads are better than hungry ones.
(finger slipped, didn't mean to add it to my YT reading bookshelf. i don't really do those anymore)
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No worries!
Nope
Trixie makes sense but I thought you were going to use Rarity to force the main 6 into the story early. Glad you didn’t though, this will make the story better with Trixie as Megumin.
Hmmm, Trixie eh? Makes sense. I guess that means Starlight will be showing up soon to get her lunch money stolen
It ALSO means we might be in for some Twixie
While slipping in the cake obsession was good, I feel like this lost some of the original comedy. Why not keep the original joke where the sacrifice was unnecessary and they died of a heart attack for nothing? It establishes the immediate antagonism with Aqua/Celestia teasing them and if I'm remembering right he picks Aqua out of spite more than anything else.
Or is Celestia not meant to stand in for Aqua's character quite so directly?