Episode 11: Fat Flank
"Where is it? Where is it?" Twilight repeated as she searched the through her room. She sure it had been up on that shelf when she had gone out for lunch, yet it was nowhere to be found.
"Spiiiiiiike!" shouted the lavender mare
"Yes Twilight!?" came the returned shouts of the tired baby dragon
"Have you seen my book on advanced magical theories and spells?!"
"No, now can I go back to bed?!"
"Fine!" Answered the reluctant mare
With that, Twilight once again began the search throughout her room, repeatedly checking the same spot under some strange notion that it may have reappeared there once she looked away. However, each time she checked she was met with the same results, nothing. After what seemed like ages she decided it was time to let go, with any luck the book would turn up by the end of the day.
However, any hopes she had for a quiet evening were quickly destroyed by the sudden sounds of crashing and falling books. Against her fears as to what was currently happening in the main portion of the library, Twilight called out to the baby dragon she knew was supposedly sleeping down below.
“Spike?! Are you okay down there?! What was that noise?”
For several seconds there came no response, suddenly though, the house was filled with the frantic clicking of claws on the ground and the slamming of the front door. Twilight rushed towards the window in an attempt to see what was happening.
To her surprise she could only see spike making a dash away from the library his tiny arms flailing in the air as he ran and his panicked shouts fading off into the distance. Though she couldn’t make out exactly what spike was saying, she could only assume that Spike had created some monstrous mess on the floor below and that his shouts were a desperate attempt to apologize, while still avoiding the initial wrath of the lavender mare.
“Smart move” muttered the slightly angered pony as she made her way to the stair way
However, one she was down into the main area of the library, her confusion only increased. Instead of the destruction and chaos that she had expected, the library was in almost perfect condition the only thing out of place was a small table and the few books that had sat on top of it.
“Now why would he be so worked up over one small table?” Twilight asked aloud to nobody in particular.
The sudden sounds of hoof beats on stairs were her only answer and that answer thoroughly startled her. Without turning to look Twilight hurled herself over the lobby couch and hid behind it.
“Who is up there?” Stuttered the nervous mare
After several seconds of terrified waiting she received no response.
“Hello? whose there?”
Still no answer
Mentally Twilight began running through her options, she could do the logical thing and run out of the library screaming like a mad mare or she could take the route that an extremely large dose of horror movies had taught her, go alone.
After a few moments of silent thought, mostly about how weird she’d look running out of the building and screaming, she decided to go with the horror movie route, slowly making her way towards the stairs leading back up to her bedroom.
“Hello?” She called once more, hoping that it was one of her friends playing a prank.
Still no response
“Well Twilight, it seems your curiosity has gotten the better of us once again, hasn’t it?” The mare sarcastically asked herself as she began the slow trek up the stairs, flinching as the stairs creaked beneath her hooves. Slowly she reached the top of the stairs and hesitantly peaked into her room.
Once again though, she was met with nothing. No signs of any intruders or any of her friends. Her room was exactly as she had left it before. However, one thing caught her attention that sent a spark of joy through her. Sticking out from under her bed she was able to see the tip of a large purple book, a book she could immediately recognize as “advanced magical theories and spells”
With a squeal of excitement Twilight dived for the book quickly forgetting her worries and preparing herself for the greatest study session ever. However she over shot her lunge and quickly slid into the darkness beneath her bed. With a flare of her horn the darkness was quickly expelled and she was met with both a confusing and startling sight.
Staring back at her from underneath the bed was a large black mare, the mares dragon like eyes never breaking focus with Twilight’s many thoughts began going through Twilights head. “Wow, my bed is huge.” Seemed to be the most common one.
“Greetings Twilight Sparkle” Boomed the Black mare
The sudden outburst and the full realization as to what was currently happening sent Twilight into a panic as she did her best to scramble out from underneath the bed. Just as she was about to follow through with plan A and run through Ponyville screaming like a mad mare, Twilight’s brain managed to catch up with the current events. She was almost certain she knew who was under her bed though she needed to check to be completely sure and the sheer fact that anyone was under her bed made her feel weird.
As she focused on the bed her horn began to glow a soft purple as the bed was engulfed in the same glow, slowly she began lifting it up into the air until the intruder was no longer hidden.
“Nightmare Moon?” The lavender mare stuttered in confusion staring at the large black Alicorn curled up where her bed had once been.
“Hello Twilight Sparkle” Repeated the black mare in a meek voice “Fancy meeting you here.”
“Fancy meeting me here? I live here!” Twilight shouted “What are you doing here?! Why are you under my bed?! I thought Princess Celestia had you under 24/7 lock down in Canterlot Castle” The mare continued to shout.
Nightmare calmly and carefully picked herself up and moved out from where the bed had once been, making sure to brush any dust or dirt from her coat.
“Celestia sent me to check on you” She said calmly as she magically produced a scroll and dropped it in front of the still shocked mare.
Twilight slowly lifted the scroll and began to read it out loud
“Deer Twilight Sparkle
I have sent Nightmare Moon to check up on you as it has been several days since you have sent me a report.
You’re ruler Princess Celestia”
Twilight slowly started laughing as she dropped the scroll, her laughs quickly growing in volume.
“I don’t get it.” Muttered the confused Alicorn “Why are you laughing?!”
Wiping a single tear from her eye Twilight turned her gaze back to the larger Lunar Mare
“You really expect me to believe Princess Celestia wrote that?”
Nightmare was caught off guard, she had expected this plan to go perfectly, Twilight would accept the letter as if it was from Celestia and then following her Teachers request the Element of Magic would have to let her hide out in the library. Instead however, she hadn’t even been able to get the letter past her without the entire plan failing. Maybe she could still save this plan; yes.
“I am Nightmare moon, the single most devious creature in Equestria; Surely I can manage one simple lie.”
She paused as she saw the confused expression on Twilight’s Face, then it dawned on her.
“I was speaking out loud, wasn’t I?” She asked flatly
Twilight said nothing, just nodded in the affirmative.
“Well then, that makes this just that much more awkward.” The black Alicorn said awkwardly as she stared at her hooves. “How about we go down stairs, have ourselves a snack and maybe we can talk about this like nice civilized mares.
Twilight was about to say something but that thought was quickly sent to the back of her minds as Nightmare began to violently twitch and shake, dropping to the floor and going limp. This revealed the small purple and green baby dragon, which had been standing behind the Alicorn.
“Spike!” Shouted Twilight “Where what did you do?!”
Still panting the baby dragon held up the small black device so that Twilight could get a better look.
“I ran... to get.... Pinkie’s Taser.” Responded the baby dragon, still trying to catch his breath.
“Well good job my number one assistant, you’ve defeated Nightmare Moon” Twilight said, sarcasm thick in her voice. “Now help me drag her downstairs, I don’t like beings of darkness in my bedroom, it makes me feel weird.”
For the next few minutes, the sound of Nightmare Moons head bouncing off the stairs echoed through the house as Twilight lazily dragged the much larger pony down the stairs with her magic. Spike following closely behind doing his best to keep the unconscious Alicorn from receiving any more injuries, though Twilight seemed to have the exact opposite goal.
Once at the bottom Twilight focused her magic fully around Nightmare Moon and with one quick toss she threw her onto one of the larger couches.
“Now what do we do with her?” asked the confused baby dragon
Twilight let a small devious grin spread across her lips; she never did get revenge for that whole “The Night shall last forever” incident. Sure, she hit her with a rainbow of friendship and apparently destroyed her, but she never got personal revenge.
“Spike, fetch me my markers” Twilight paused as she continued to think of other ideas “And some whipped cream” she quickly added
Several minutes’ later Twilights vengeance had been complete. Beneath Nightmare’s nose now sat a fabulous purple moustache, she couldn’t quite recall where she had seen it before, but she knew it was the appropriate one to give her.
Carefully she placed the final addition to her revenge a large glob of whipped cream a top her front hoof with an evil chuckle she motioned for spike to take position beside her and the unconscious mare.
“What do we do now Twilight?” the baby dragon asked quietly doing his best to suppress a giggle.
“Well since we don’t have any smelling salts and I’d rather not get the couch wet, we are going to use the next best thing.” She answered with a smirk
“What’s the next best thing?” asked the confused baby dragon
“Well the next best thing my dear Spike, is an unclean baby dragon.”
Before the young dragon could begin to protest he was coated in a layer of purple magic as he was lifted against his will and slowly moved back and forth in front of the unconscious Alicorn’s face.
After several seconds the large pony began to slowly stir. However, her slowly movements quickly shifted into a sudden coughing fit as she rolled off the couch and did her best to keep herself from gagging while at the same time trying to catch a breath of fresh air.
“Oh I don’t smell that bad.” Grunted the baby dragon, still being held against his will in the air.
“Well maybe if you took a bath more than once a week you would smell a little more pleasant Spike, in fact maybe if you bathed more often Rarity might even think about going on a picnic with you, the next time you ask.” Retorted the lavender mare.
Both Spike and Twilight stood there and watched as Nightmare Moon did her best to stand up and at the same time clear her lungs of the contaminated air and her nose of the scent of death. However as she placed a hoof over her nose the smell was quickly replaced with that of whipped cream as it smashed against her nose.
“I’m not even going to ask what you did to me, or why my head feels like I’ve just made a crash landing.”
With a purple flash of magic the whipped cream that covered her face was instantly removed along with the purple moustache and any possible dirt that might have marked her coat.
Twilight felt a tinge of sadness go through her body as her revenge was magically washed away. Though there was a spark of joy when she remembered the pictures she had silently taken. Sure it wasn’t as good as the original thing, but sending a few copies to her mentor would make everyone feel better.
“Spike, now that our guest is up, fetch some parchment and ink please.” Twilight asked making sure Nightmare was well aware of her intentions.
“Who are we writing to?” asked the clueless baby dragon
“It’s a letter to the Princess” Twilight said her grin impossible to hide
“Well now there’s no reason to do a thing like that” stammered the black mare “I’m pretty sure I already told you why I’m here, I’m sure you don’t want to bother Celestia right now. She’s probably really busy now.”
“Oh I’m sure she’s busy, but if you don’t want to tell me why you’re really here. I’m sure she’s got enough time to answer a question or two for her personal student, don’t you?” Twilight watched as the panic spread across Nightmares face. Those late nights of reading psychology books were finally paying off. Mentally she began counting down the time till Nightmare cracked.
Nightmare kept her head down and continued to tap her hoof on the ground.
“I’m sure we can work this out on our own, we’re both reasonable mares I don’t think we need to bring Celestia into this do you?”
Twilight’s only answer was a shrug
“What do I have to do I have to do to keep you from writing that letter? I’ll do anything.” pleaded the mare.
“Wow” Twilight thought to herself, she didn’t just crack she downright shattered
“Well telling me why you’re here would be a good start.”
Nightmare paused for a moment, she could explain herself here and hope the Element of Magic would see things her way or she could try and teleport now and hopefully get another head start on Celestia. Though she took the logical route, she knew from Celestia’s note and letters that Twilight Sparkle was a mare of reason and intelligence.
“Fine then” Nightmare said with a sigh “But I need your word that once I tell you, you won’t send that letter.”
Twilight thought about it, at very worst the Elements of Harmony were in the town, so there wasn’t really much Nightmare could try.
“Okay, you tell me why you’re here and if it’s nothing too bad I won’t send the letter. But if you’re up to something, I’ll send it and gather the elements.”
“Okay then, you see it all start-“Nightmare was cut off by the sudden destruction of the library wall leaving a large hole where the front door had once been. Both Twilight and Nightmare remained silent as they stared at destruction, waiting for any signs of the creature that had caused it.
After a few seconds their curiosity was answered and they quickly wished it had not. A blinding white light began to fill the door and as their eyes began to adjust to they could make out the faint shape of a large pony as the source of the light.
“Nightmare!” Boomed the voice from within
“This is how I die” muttered the dark Alicorn
“Princess, is that you?” asked the terrified lavender mare.
The light quickly dissipated leaving Princess Celestia. However, she was visibly different. Her once colorful mane was now a burning fire of rage, her once magenta eyes were glowing a pure white.
“Hello Twilight! It is good to see you again!” Celestia’s voice echoed throughout the large tree house shattering the windows and anything glass.
Twilight’s attitude quickly shifted to joy, she no longer had to deal with the situation and she got a visit from the Princess, but she still didn’t know why they were both here.
“Princess, maybe you can tell me why Nightmare Moon was hiding under my bed?”
Celestia’s expression became one of anger as her eyes locked onto the black Alicorn.
“She burned down my personal library, trying to bring about an eternal night.”
Twilight stared in awe at Nightmare trying to comprehend why she would even try something like that a second time.
“I didn’t try to bring about an eternal night, I was trying to make the night longer and I brought the candle a little too close to the book. Then when I tried to pour water onto the burning book it turns out Celestia likes her vodka pure.”
Celestia began charging up a spell and Nightmare quickly darted behind Twilight.
“Wait a minute.” Stuttered Twilight “This sounds more like an accident than anything evil. “
“She said I have a fat flank!” Celestia shouted “I do not have a fat flank!” With that Celestia let loose the spell completely unaware that Twilight was in its path. With a purple flare of her horn Twilight did her best to stop her mentors spells. However, it was a battle she had no chance of winning and with a flash of light the only remaining thing in the library was a purple and green baby dragons, who had the common sense to hiding under the couch.
One Hour Later
The three mares sat on the lunar surface. Nightmare had claimed a small area within a crater and was currently building a small castle out of the lunar dirt. Celestia had begun doing push ups under some misguided belief that she could lose weight while under the effects of the lower gravity.
Twilight was currently wondering through the halls of what had once been Luna’s moon castle during the time of her banishment. Apparently Luna really enjoyed drawing as shown by the large walls completely covered from top to bottom with images of all sorts of things.
Twilight paused as she reached a larger image that took up almost an entire wall of the castle. Twilight came to a sudden realization. Celestia did in fact have a large flank. The purple mare peaked her head back outside and was greeted by an image she completely expected. Both Nightmare and Celestia had entered into another magical battle. However, thanks to their already spent magic, they both found themselves on the verge of passing out this meant their spells moved much slower and with a great loss of accuracy, meaning neither of them could actually land a blow.
“Only Twenty three hours tell the spell wears off” Groaned Twilight
Stats
Page generated in 0.044 seconds
Total duration
997 users online
1,476,467 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
poor twi if had had to pick two pony to be stuck on the moon with those would be my last choies in fact i would rether luna and the meme things then Cele
great chapter! its celestias fault for storing vodka in a library
and twilight will probably be driven to madness before the spell lifts 
Lol So Har- BOOM *Explodes*
It says there are four gods. Who is the fourth?
884184
Discord, Luna, Nightmare, Celestia
Trust me it doesn't make sense even to me.
884208
Oh it makes perfect sense now. Unicorns have been known to split their minds and bodies, a single emotion going off on it's own.
Is your prereader ill or do you have none? There were far more mistakes in this chapter than in those befor.
But aside of that it is another great chapter.
Great chapter a few minor spelling errors but it was otherwise a good chapter.
"you would smell a letter more pleasant Spike"
Don't you mean "a little more pleasant, Spike."
"However, thanks to the moons lower gravity the spells moved much slower, meaning neither of them could actually land a blow."
This makes no freaking sense. First of all why would less gravity make them move slower? Second, why would gravity effect magic anyway when magic is basically rampant raping of the laws of physics?
885257
I don't know what I'm talking about most of the time, so I just pull it out of my ass.
I thought I made that clear before.
Also, you forgot to point out, Sound on the moon, Breathable air the fact that none of their heads have exploded.
I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it either way.
Also why was Star War such a loud movie?
885925
No idea what that is my friend.
If Twilight didn't have her life dedicated to Celestia quite as much as she did, she'd have the perfect opportunity to reassure Nightmare that Celestia's flank was indeed fat.
I'm tired but I think I spotted a few grammar errors.
This is the only one I can remember...
“Hello? If whose there?”
Please let with 12 hours remaining for Twilight to go insane and blow both Nightmare and Celestia into a million pieces and put a spell on those pieces to slow the regeneration and make them feel the pain of it making them wish they would of died from it.
886889
.....I'm sure
Celestia has the proper sized flank for a mature beauty of her age and height
883943
Dafuq did I just read?
"I don’t like beings of darkness in my bedroom, it makes me feel weird.”
if there are four why is the changeling queen in the cover art
The TRUE Rapidash has arised!
Sorry, I had to say that
Anyway, hilarious chapter. When all else fails, randomness, accidents by not-so-former evil beings, and an all-powerful princess overdoing things seems to work good enough 
. Anyway, good chapter and see you on the next one!
1001942
I drowned in new comments, also if I get a chance I'll definitely try and use him again.
“Only Twenty three hours tell the spell wears off”
I think that is supposed to be a "till" ^^
First: This whole fic is friggin' hilarious. Second: I want Chrysalis (she's awesome, and would add to the hilarity). Third: I want the characters from the 'On a Cross and Arrow' universe (aka: the gender swap universe) to come visit for a chapter. I want to see what kind of chaos and humor you can cause with Princess Celestia, Lord Solaris, Princess Luna, Lord Artemis, Nightmare Moon, Anarchy Apollo, Discord, AND Eris in one chapter.
1065533
Challenge Considered
*Please note that at the current time it is far to late to simply accept a challenge. Please wait and within the next 7 - 12 hours someone may be along to confirm or deny this Challenge
Thank you and have a nice evening.
luna looks sooooo funny in the picture
MORE! MORE! MMMMOOORRREEEE
1094104
ONE SEC
1094104
Jobs done :P
108758 Don't forget "one cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb" and a "slaughter electric needle injector."
1110397
That was actually the original inspiration :P
How is Twilight able to breathe?
1973355 Moon logic
1973355 invisible space suits.
This story is win
nothing but win
No, This is how I Die: Uncontrollable laughter
1973355 Is-Is that a... WatermeLuna??
If I die laughing, I am so sueing you.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
AEIOU
*John Madden intensifies in the background*