Apple Jack reflects on how her life has taken a turn for the worst
------------
This is my first story, so any and all criticism is welcome.
Chapters (2)
Scorch Xi
Joined 12th May, 2012 ·
Offline
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.132 seconds
Total duration
1,065 users online
1,933,979 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sadly, its quite true about sad, slice of life etc. being the best. Comedy in a book can only go so far, adventure can move but can't stay, and so....
Excellent piece of work, you could have taken a happier, saved route, but this seems best.
1309574
I really considered having rainbow or apple bloom save her in the end, but as you said, it was best to leave it as a sad story
You should make an alternate ending chapter where she wakes up in the hospital or something like that, because that story was too good, I wish it could end happy, so pretty please?
1309790
if enough people ask me for an alternate ending I'll consider it, but no promises.
I cri ervrytim.
Ervrytim.
But very well written, with the exception of some missing commas and capitals.
Damn, that was emotional. Still, it was easily worth the read and quite a slice of life. I look forward to seeing where your stories go.
1309921
Thanks, I'll look back over it later and try to find my mistakes. and I'm glad my story was that emotional for you :)
1309928
Thank you. and YAY! my first follower.
1310002
Thanks :)
Definitely worth the read, and a beautifully written story (even if the topic is rather morbid). I look forward to see where your stories go, if you write more.
1310230
Thank you. I can't quite understand why so many people are liking my story but it is a definite confidence booster :)
Manly tears were shed this day.
1311140
lol I'm not sure whether I should feel bad or proud that my story made so many people cry
1311239
It's good to cry, and it is good to see different people's perspectives and thoughts in their mind. Take My Little Dashie for instance, people who have cried from it are making a full length movie. Very good story though. Equestria be with you!
1311261
Thank you :) I'm glad that you would compare my story to such a popular one.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3l3x86st71qi38f1.gif
In the beginning, I was convinced - this fiction must be nice. But in the end, I was sure, that it is perfect. Author - you're hero, because you made me feel sorrow for the whole day! Thank you.
good n the feels, but needs a good proofreading, and you really lost me at 'grand galloping gala' on the most sencerity of the feels, there and the next few bits don't relly fit AJ's character to me
overall for the story, yeah it had feels, but as my uncle commited suicide nearly a year and a half ago, and the psychology i've studied over the years, it just doesn't quite fit for me. the scene with granny smith on her deathbed was good, but missed something, i'm not sure what but it could have hit way harder. the scene for mac's death was amazing, and damn near had the beginnings of tears in my eyes, but still lacked a certain depth of feel... great story, but like an old chevy in a field it needs a vigorous going over to be a thing of beauty
2724976
sorry for the extremely late reply. I'm just now getting back on fim-fic. I love the feedback, but would love if you could be a bit more specific. personally I thought the granny smith scene was the best part.
2830122
will have to go back over it again in the future, forgot the specifics since then :P no biggy on the delay, and i'll admit my own comment could've used a proofreading 'cuz dayam
Well, thanks for writing.