LilSlipsy
Joined 22nd Dec, 2017 ·
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Lovely. Great to see a happy ending for that orphan colt. He really is Lucky.
aw :( she gave up her chance to leave to be with him and he didn't...
sad ending :(
11349747
I'd call it bittersweet. He gets one thing but loses another.
I love the story and hate two things about it. First, the filly is never named. And second, bluntly stating that she never sees him again is heartbreaking. I wrote a review for your story on my Patreon account. 10/10 would cry again reading it.
11349747
He sure was
11350613
Thanks for the comment! I'd love to read it sometime.
11350613
The "Sad" tag means that only the former is criticism.
i wish theres a sequeal years later
11351793
i agree i want these 2 lovebirds back together
and the last time of love making ended in preggers
11351793
11352131
Yes! A sequel where the filly never ends up getting adopted, ages out of the foster system and is left to fend for herself on the streets, is forced to sell her body for money in order to make ends meet, and is eventually bought for a stag party that ends up being for Lucky and thrown by his new, wealthy friends. She instantly recognizes him, but he's moved on and doesn't even remember her. She ends up being abused by all of them, and the ending is her crying in a puddle of various fluids, humiliated and ashamed of herself, as Lucky walks off to marry his new wife and live happily ever after.
11352755
And of course she has no idea if it's even Lucky's or one of the dozen other ponies who had their way with her that night. Either way, she has no way of supporting the new filly once she's born, and has no choice but to abandon her daughter on the steps of the very orphanage where she herself was raised. And so, the cycle continues.
11352950
Ok not this dark. This was a cute and adorable story. I was talking about a happier more of a slice of life story. Where after years of being apart she guesses he has moved on, but Lucky never did he always hoped to find her again. So as an adult and had inherited his adoptive family's money, goes looking for her only to be told she herself got adopted and is living somewhere else. He goes looking for her and they finally find each other and he tells her how much he missed her. They reconnect over time and then he asks her to marry him and never be apart again.
This is what i was looking for. Nothing dark but a bit tragic but ends with them being together truly forever
11352950
Oh, I almost forgot. There happens to be a chocolate fountain at Lucky's party, and she can be super excited to finally see one in real life. Then at one point , as she's being passed around by Lucky and her friends, one of them fucks her while holding her head under the chocolate. She nearly drowns in it, and afterward she's so traumatized by the experience that she becomes terrified of the thing.
11352950
Wtf??? No that’s not what I want
11354865
Oh, I gotcha. You'd prefer a happier ending for the filly. Maybe she goes on to be adopted by a loving and caring family and discovers true love in another stallion, allowing her to move on from the childish romance of her youth. She has a couple children of her own, gets to raise them in the kind of family environment she so desired to have as a filly, and all around lives a happy and satisfied life. A truly happy ending for the little filly so callously abandoned by her first love.
Meanwhile, Lucky's first time out to sea with his new adoptive family, the boat collides with a shallow stretch of corral and the hull is torn asunder. The boat has only one life preserver, and his new family selflessly make sure he's secure to it before the waves claim them and he's forced to watch the first two adults who ever loved him drown flailing and screaming beneath the waves. He only is allowed a brief time to wallow in remorse for them before the frigid waters begin to sap his strength. He dies freezing and alone, his last thoughts full of regret for leaving the warmth of the orphanage and his one true love. He prays for her forgiveness, but she'll never know. She never forgives the little colt her broke her heart, and never learns the truth of how he spent his last moments thinking of her.
The end.
11356044
NO that is so sad I want them both happy you heartless pony!
Wow, that was a gut punch of an ending.
I love it.
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