• Published 20th Sep 2012
  • 1,087 Views, 20 Comments

Rarity and the Lucky Rose - TheTwerp

Rarity and Roseluck. Queen and tomboy can they make it work.

  • ...

Chapter 2

The sun was out in full glory and the sky was clear allowing a cool autumn breeze to flow down from Cloudsdale. Leaves played gently with the wind and ponies were out in droves to see the autumn colours.

As the wind pulled itself down the cobbled streets of the centre of town it brushed by a white unicorn who shivered against the cold and mounting nervousness in her stomach.

She could feel bile rise in her throat as she restlessly trotted on the spot and tried to hide a severe blush on her muzzle. She had been meandering around the stalls in the market for over an hour waiting for the right opportunity to approach her target.

What a target she was, a pale yellow pony with a mane of the most wonderful shade of red and such alluring pale green eyes. The white unicorn had seen the girl before at some of Pinkies parties but never really paid any attention to her.

She didn't even know the mare’s name.

“Oh how am I going to do this?” Rarity whispered quietly to herself.

It had happened after the night of the shooting star she had returned home and began to immediately prepare for her new interest of finding a special somepony to start a herd with.

After quickly but skilfully finishing Applejacks order she had cancelled all other incoming orders and informed all her current clients that their orders were going to be delayed for a few weeks.

Dealing with her job she then turned toward her sibling that was staying with her until her parents had returned from another one of their honeymoons. Sweetie Belle was such a little gem but her influence could scare away any new love interest so Rarity had shipped Sweetie Belle to see her Aunt Emerald and Uncle Steam for a while.

Once all the preparations had been completed Rarity had set off looking for love. Taking advice from her best friends she had spent the morning wandering around Ponyville looking for prospective mates.

After an intensive study of the local populace she had found her.

Approaching the rose stall for a look at the latest season of roses to bloom she had been struck with a bolt of inspiration for a new design and had purchased one rose for a reminder. Rarity had paid her bits and moved out of the way to place the rose in her saddlebag when she took note of the mare who manned to counter.

At first she hadn't really paid any attention to the mare only paying a mild look of disinterest before browsing the wares on offer. After securing the rose for later she couldn't help but turn back and give the flower girl a once over with a critical eye.

It was clear the girl was a tomboy with a brash attitude and lazy appearance. Clearly not interested in keeping clean and tidy as her coat was unkempt and the mare lounged in the chair not even in the slightest like a proper lady. She barely even spoke to the customers before returning to read her magazine.

Still the mare was quite pretty and if she had groomed herself a bit she would be very stunning but Rarity knew this type of mare, she was best friends with one. The last thing she needed was to date another Rainbow Dash.

The rose girl was not what Rarity was looking for in a mate, she wanted somepony who was pretty, fashionable, brave and loving.

As Rarity turned to leave a sound struck her ears causing them to twitch and swivel back as a most wondrous noise echoed from the stall.

The mare was laughing.

One of her companions had uttered a joke or something in the magazine had tickled her as it had left the mare in hysterics.

As she listened to each laugh, shivers ran down the length of Rarity’s spine. She sounded like the soft strumming of a harp being bounced round a room of gleaming crystal.

Suffice to say that had sealed the deal for Rarity as she just had to have that most wondrous voice all to herself. Just thinking about that voice calling her name lustfully made Rarity tingle all over.

Rarity however had encountered a problem that had crippled her before she even could act. You see Rarity was used to flattery and flirting when it was harmless. She had flirted and often been mistaken for being very experienced in the matters of love, but in truth, Rarity had never been on a date before.

You see Rarity was a coward.

“Come on rarity just go up and ask her out!” She mentally screamed at herself.

Despite all her mental screaming Rarity had not succeeded in asking her out that day, or the next, or the day after that. Now she found herself trotting on the spot in the cold and feeling very stupid.

Just as Rarity was going to give up on today and return to her boutique she bumped into one of her friends.



Picking herself up she found Fluttershy spread eagle on the floor, eyes spinning in her head and with the contents of a shopping bag sprawled on the floor.

“Oh Darling I'm so sorry!” Rarity said as she began to help the mare up and collect the fallen contents. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh that’s OK Rarity…um…how are you?” Fluttershy asked tilting her head quizzically taking note of her friend’s haggard appearance.

“Fine…” Rarity looked down and grabbed the last Fluttershy’s shopping.

“Um… OK.” Fluttershy knew Rarity far too well and could see that something was bothering her but it was simply to rude to ask what it was being the kind mare that Fluttershy is known for so she simply waited patiently for the inevitable outburst.

“…Oh Darling!” Rarity cried as great tears started rolling down her muzzle. “It’s awful *Sniff* it’s the worst possible thing ever!”

“Oh Rarity I'm sure it’s not that bad.” Fluttershy flapped over and began to nuzzle the unicorn.

“It is!” Rarity said with a stomp of her hoof startling the poor Pegasus. “I've found my special somepony!”

“Um…isn't that a good thing?” Fluttershy was now feeling a bit confused.

“Of course it is!” Rarity shouted.

“Oh…um…well who is it then?” Fluttershy inquired as she glanced around the square.

Rarity lifted a hoof and pointed it toward the flower stall with the rose girl sat behind the counter. Fluttershy followed the white hoof and saw the mare in question before she brought a hoof to her face and giggled.

“You like Roseluck?” Fluttershy carried on giggling.

“That’s her name…” Rarity said dreamily as she watched the flower girl.

“So when is the date?” Fluttershy chuckled.

“That’s it I haven’t…that is to say…well…I haven’t asked her out yet.” Rarity said as her voice got smaller.

“What?” Fluttershy baulked. “I thought you said-“

“I know what I said darling but I just can’t work up the courage to ask her out. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow.” Rarity said with a great sigh.

Fluttershy watched as the unicorn became dejected and started to trudge back to her home. Rarity suddenly saw a flash of butter yellow and pink wash in front of her.

“Oh no you don’t!” Fluttershy bellowed as she jumped at Rarity.

After all that pain she had seen in Rarity the other day Fluttershy wasn't going to let her friend miss out on love.

“Fluttershy?” Rarity looked bewildered at the sudden change from her timid friend.

“You are going to walk up to that mare and ask her on a date!” She pointed to the flower stall while staring at Rarity.

“I can’t just walk up and ask her out.” Rarity was starting to babble in panic.

“Yes you can!”


“No buts!”

“I just-“

“Nope!” Fluttershy then punted Rarity toward the stall.

Rarity stumbled and nickered before turning around and heading tentatively toward the mare of her dreams. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Fluttershy glowering at her and tapping her hood impatiently.

“Ok Rarity you can do this.” She thought as she noticed her steps becoming laboured.

“Just go up and say “Hi would you like to go out sometime” oh no that would be stupid.”

As she got even closer to the mare her thoughts became more panicked and she felt that bile rising again.

“Oh what if she says no!”

“What if she doesn't like me?”

Taking a deep breath and glancing one last time at Fluttershy who was now waving encouragement Rarity turned back to the stall and thought.

“Well you won’t ever find out if you don’t ask.”

Taking another breath she approached the stall and found Roseluck slumped over the counter in what appeared to be a state of sheer boredom as she was idly picking at the grains in the wood.

“Um…Excuse me?” Rarity’s voice could have rivalled Fluttershy’s for quietness at this moment.

When the mare didn't move Rarity took another step closing before trying again.

“Excuse me?” The unicorn muttered.


The rose girl bolted upright with a startled grimace.

“Um…well I don’t do this often but…um…would you be interested in a date?”


“Interested in what now?” Roseluck thought dumbfounded.

“You see…um well I saw you the other day and thought…that is to say I think you’re looking very pretty today…I mean not that you’re not pretty at any other time…” Rarity had started to panic and was blushing more fiercely than ever before in her life.

“A date? With Me? That can’t be I’m just a nopony!”

“So…um…” Rarity was sweating profusely and kept glancing between the roses and the floor.

Roseluck’s mind was running a mile a minute trying to come up with a response but her brain was quickly being overheated by the horrendous blush that now covered her face.

“Rarity the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria wants a date with me!” She thought as she felt herself become giddy.

“I take your silence as a no…I’ll just be on my way then…” Rarity muttered with a pained expression.

“Whuh?” Roseluck mouth stumbled as she saw Rarity turn to leave. “No Wait!”

Rarity yelped in surprise at the sudden outburst and turned back to the flower girl.

“You really mean that?” Roseluck asked as she turned to look at the clouds with a blush.

“M-mean what darling?” Rarity stuttered.

“The date, I’d love to but I mean…wouldn’t you be better looking for somepony else?” Roseluck said with a slight stammer.

“Whatever do you mean darling?” Rarity asked slightly confused.

“Well I mean your Rarity the element of generosity and you’ve saved Equestria multiple times you should be dating movie stars not a nopony like me.” Roseluck eyes showed sadness as she continued. “There’s nothing special about me.”

Rarity was a little stunned at this remark, Twilight Sparkle had told her that many ponies thought that Rarity was too good for them but she didn’t really believe her. Here was proof however the mare she wanted to date had decided that she was a nopony.

“Y-your voice…” Rarity muttered.


“Your voice called out to me.” Rarity continued looking Roseluck in the eye

“M-my voice.”

“Oh darling you have the most wonderful voice and I just…well um…I think that makes you special…” Rarity squeaked becoming bashful.

Silence descended on the couple as Roseluck turned the colour of a tomato.

“Come on Rarity! You have to be more courageous or she’ll say no!” Reaching into her saddlebags Rarity withdrew a business card and placed it in front of the flower girl.

Roseluck was clearly trying to say something but just couldn’t form the words and seeing the opportunity to seal the deal Rarity moved over the counter and brought her muzzle to the mare’s ear.

“So…how about you come to my boutique on Wednesday and we’ll go out for dinner, my treat. Say about six o’clock?” Rarity breathed causing Roseluck to whimper.

Roseluck took the card and nodded silently as Rarity turned back toward the crowd. Just as Rarity was about to disappear in the throngs of other ponies she flicked her tail in a flirtatious manner.

Roseluck who had been watching her nearly passed out from too much blood to the head.


Roseluck had been staring at the card for about five minutes when she felt a shove knock her off the chair.


“Well way to go playgirl!” Daisy giggled.

“Yeah landing the most desirable pony in town? That’s impressive ya’know.” Lily chuckled.

“I didn’t…I mean she was the one…” Roseluck stammered.

“Oh shush. This is great you’ve always wanted to be in a herd and now a beautiful girl is going to whisk you off your hooves and give you happiness!” Daisy said as she bounced on the spot.

Normally Roseluck would have commented on that in her tomboyish attitude stating that she was the more masculine pony. She didn’t really care right now though as she had returned to blissfully staring at the card as if it was written by the Princesses themselves.

“Oh dear she’s got it bad ya,know.” Lily said as she waved a hoof in front of Roseluck’s face.

“Pre…” Roseluck muttered.

“Pre?” Both her friends glanced at each other.

“PREPARE!” Roseluck shouted at the top of her lungs scaring the living tar out of everypony in the area. “I’VE GOT TO PREPARE!”

With that she shot off toward her home leaving a dust cloud in her wake.

“She’s got it real bad…” Daisy nodded in agreement.


Rarity felt her legs wobble with each step as she walked back towards her Pegasus friend who was giggling and cheerfully waving.

“Well did she say yes?” Fluttershy inquired as she flapped over to her unicorn friend.

“Yes. Yes I think she did.” Rarity couldn’t seem to focus and swayed a bit. Rarity stood for a moment before beginning to giggle madly and hop up and down on the spot.

“Ha-ha! I need to get back to the boutique and get ready for tomorrow!” Rarity declared and shot off leaving a butter yellow pony smirking and trying to hold in another giggle. Just as Fluttershy went to move back to her home Rarity returned.

“Oh darling! Thank you so much!”

“Oh I didn’t do anything-“

“Nonsense without you I’d still be stood here being silly!” With that Rarity planted a big kiss on Fluttershy’s muzzle and blasted off again leaving Fluttershy blushing a colour of beetroot.

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Comments ( 10 )

Whelp this took a lot longer than I thought it would... don't really like this chapter but I need to get this up or I will just lose confidence in writing this story.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter which will be about both parties preparations before date night. Looks to be much more fun. :pinkiehappy:

Any spelling errors or thoughts please comment and as usual if you like please click like button. :twilightsmile:


I like this, better than your last one. The pace is slower and the characters feel better developed. I spotted a few mistakes but other than that I sort of have no problems with this story. I mean it's not great or spectacular, my mind is not blown and I am not giddy with excitement, but this does feel like a pretty good ship fic and I've got no problems with it. Too early for me to make any call's on character arcs or developing relationships, but this is definitely a good set up for what I hope to be a good story.

On a side note would you ever consider returning Applejack and the Carrot Twins? I mean, that story was pretty meh to be honest, but it was an interesting idea and there were moments in there that made me think it could have been a good story. I'd quite like to read basically a better version of that story, and you seem to me to be capable of writing such a fic.

Anyway, good work and good luck with your story.

1363691 Mmm I have already thought about a re-write for AJ and the C twins but I'm unsure...while I might not re-write I may do another focused on their relationship with another member.

Thanks for the input I'm just feeling my way round with writing I've got some ideas for more unique stories but I don't just don't fell like I can put it down correctly.

Prepare jokes, prepare jokes....

BE PREPARED! (Lion King)




That's all I can think of for right now. We'll see if anything else comes up. Good work by the way.

After quickly but skilfully finishing Applejacks order she had cancelled all other incoming orders and informed all her current clients that their orders were going to be delayed for a weeks. a few weeks?

Dealing with her job she then turned toward her sibling that was staying with her until her parents had returned from another one of their honeymoons. Sweetie Belle was such a little gem but her influence could scare away any new love interest so

Rarity had shipped Sweetie Belle to see her Aunt Emerald and Uncle Steam for a while. Why is there a gap between so and Rarity?

she hadn’t really paid any attention to the mare as she had approached the stall in shear boredom as she had yet to find any candidates worth considering. Consider Rephrasing.

Rarity however had encountered a problem that had crippled her before she even could act. You see Rarity was used to flattery and flirting when it was harmless. She had flirted and often been mistaken for being very experienced in the matters of love, but in truth, Rarity had never been on a date before.
You see Rarity was a coward.
I'm not 100% what's wrong in this paragraph, but it just seems wrong. I think it might be because of the PoV, mostly the "You see" part. I'm not sure if it's even technically wrong, but it just seems odd.

1365033 Thanks for the error check. :twilightsmile:

Cools, find interesting and it is much better than the previous (may have already stated that) and how shall this godl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png

You have taken my two favorite ponies and made a story about them.

How can I not love this?

“Well I mean your Rarity the element of generosity

“Nonsense without you I’d still be stood here being silly!”

I'm afraid you've done it here as well. Really need to keep an eye out for that. :twilightsheepish: Do you have a proofreader? If so, I recommend you tell them to be on their toes a little better than this.

Pretty great :twilightsmile:

You should write another chapter the instant you finish reading this comment.

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