Lightening the Load

by Silent Bob

The Princess of Parties

"... For there once was a mare from Baltimare who saw a good stallion!"

With loving eyes and a heart of butterflies she made her way to take him in,

And when he said 'I'm just a simple country colt, aint worthy of your gaze',

She took him by his handsome neck and kissed him into a daze!

And so its true of what they say, that love really holds no bounds,

It can merge two hearts two worlds apart, it can make a Canterlot wedding sound!

And if you're ever boned because you feel alone just listen closely through and through,

Have trust you must in Equestria there's someone out there for you!"

YEEEEHAW! Take it away, Pinkie! Play that thing!"

And so the sound of a wild fiddle solo filled Applejack's barn, one a crowd of party goers roared in approval of. Sparks of creativity flew from Pinkie like none had seen before as she made her way through a fury of scales, arpeggios, and other, more complex musical maneuvers. However, while it might appear she was showing off, her real intention was much more noble: she was helping to give one of her greatest friends a party people were going to remember.

"Holy appleseeds!"

"Yeeeeeeeah!"

"That's bloody brilliant! But how in the world is Applejack playing a banjo with her hooves?!"

"We've already been over this, Doctor..."

"Whoops, sorry Ditzy!"

"Sweet Celestia she's a monster. SHE'S A MONSTER!"

"Oh my gosh. Where's her tip jar, seriously!?"

The barn was the site of one of the few weekly, and sometimes daily constants of Ponyville: a Pinky Party. Within it were apple and country-themed decorations, an apple-bobbing bucket, a multitude of other games, and at the centerpiece; a three piece band composed of Applejack on banjo, Spike on bass, and Pinkie playing a mad fiddle, all being watched by almost everypony in Ponyville and most of Applejack's relatives who Pinkie had taken the time to round up.

With that, Applejack glanced Pinkie's way. "You really are a country girl with that kind of playin', Pinkie."

"Eh, it's nothing, really!" Pinkie beamed. "I just had a lot of time to practice when I was growing up. There wasn't really much else to do on that rock farm."

Applejack smiled with a hint of sympathy. "Seriously though. You're like a sister to me sometimes, and throwin' me a country-girl themed birthday party just seals the deal. I still don't know how you managed to pull it off. I don't think even I could have thrown one this good!"

"Hey Pinkie! I can't hear your awesome playing over you two talking!" Rainbow Dash complained, sipping on a mug of cider.

Applejack rolled her eyes while sticking her tongue out at her. "Oh pipe down, Rainbow, we're bein' all sentimental."

"Fine, fine... just hurry up and get your sappiness over with!"

Pinkie then glanced back towards Applejack with a knowing smirk. "You're a little buzzed, aren't you?" Pinkie whispered. "You wouldn't be acting so soft otherwise."

"Hah! You caught me." She then raised an eyebrow. "And dang, Pinkie, you can be awfully perceptive sometimes." Her voice then became hushed. "Just uh... don't tell Big Macintosh I've been hittin' the hard cider."

"What was that?" Big Mac called from across the room, sipping on a mug of what Pinkie assumed was regular cider. "I dun heard my name."

"Nothing!" Pinkie and Applejack simpered before taking up their playing a notch and gaining a raised eyebrow from the farm girl's brother.

"Don't worry, I've got your back too," Spike winked over his standup bass.

"I owe ya, Spike," Applejack said with an appreciative smile before turning back towards the party pony. "But seriously, how did you manage to pull this off?"

Pinky took a deep breath, thinking that question over for a second. "Well, I treat parties like you treat your cider; with utter love and perfection," she said with an uncharacteristic amount of seriousness and articulation. "They're all I'm about, really, so I make sure to treat them as good I can. I always make sure to research what I'm throwing; learning to make the right recipes for the food it calls for, getting the right games, music, and decorations.... Sometimes, I even try to attend parties like what I'm throwing beforehand! It's actually becoming a bit... too easy, though..." she added silently.

"Shucks Pinkie, you know we'd love your parties no matter what."

"Yeah but they wouldn't be as much fun if I didn't treat them right, and I want my friends to have fun!" she said, her voice returning to its normal jolly tone.

Doctor Whooves shook his head in bewilderment. "Now they're multi-tasking playing complex music and holding a deep conversation at the same time! You equines are simply extraordinary."

"I wish you'd tell me that more often," Ditzy smirked.

Doctor Whooves smirked back. "I just don't want you to get too cocky." His voice then dropped in its pleasantness. "Especially with what is coming up."

Ditzy cocked her head. "What's coming up?"

"I'll talk to you about it later," he said in a barely audible tone.

Pinkie raised an eyebrow at this, though Applejack merely rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "Come on Pinkie, the Doctor's always fretting about something, let's... 'turn up the heat', as Vinyl would say."

With that, Pinkie ignored the Doctor's comment before glancing towards Applejack again, her face becoming saturated with anticipation. "Super awesome country trio powers, activate!" she beamed.

"Awesome!" Spike beamed.

"Sounds like a plan!"

With that, the fury of her fiddle solo as well as the intensity of that which was Applejack's banjo playing increased to the highest amount of vigor possible.

"Oh my gosh! You two might actually make me be able to tolerate country music at this rate!" Rainbow hollered.

"You haven't seen anything yet!" Pinkie grinned.

However, despite her apparent happiness, she couldn't help but sigh internally over something that had been eating her for weeks upon weeks: parties, the meaning of her existence, were actually becoming slightly boring to her. They were still fun, but planning and throwing them was starting to become... stagnant. It was almost too easy for her to bring joy to the hearts of Ponyville. Sure, she loved making people happy but that didn't mean she didn't want to challenge herself. She needed something new. Something exciting. Something bizarre... though she couldn't think of what.

☼☼☼
☼☼
☼☼☼

"That was a great party, Pinkie! Seriously. I think this might have been your best yet!" Twilight said with a wide smile as she exited Applejack's barn along with the rest of her guests.

The pink mare would have to agree. It really was one of her top parties, though it still didn't give her the level of satisfaction she desired. Still, Pinkie shot out a tongue. She didn't want her friends to think she wasn't happy, because that would make them unhappy. "You say that every time, silly."

"Yeah, because it's true!" Rainbow slurred as she staggered out of the barn, nearly running into Doctor Whooves. She then hiccuped, trying her best to balance herself. "What was in that apple cider in the far corner by the haystacks, though? Seriously... I feel really good... but really dizzy."

"Oh, that was the hard cider! The apple family makes it in boatloads!" Pinkie beamed, causing Rainbow's eyes to widen in horror. It was another new thing she had been experimenting with; adding a bit of an adult flavor to her parties. Unfortunately, it seemed that flavor might not have tasted too good to her pranking-buddy Rainbow.

Applejack smirked. "You didn't read the sign, did you?"

Rainbow shook her head, a queasy look coming across her face.

The farm pony raised an eyebrow. "How many mugs did you drink?"

"Um... five... or was it six?" Rainbow said.

She shot her a look of concern.

"Oh jeez... and this was my first time drinking, too... I think I'm going to be sick..." Her face then became panic stricken. "Wait! I'm not going to keel over, am I? I'm too young and awesome to die of alcohol poisoning!"

With that, Spike walked over and patted her back with a sympathetic claw. "There, there, Rainbow. I'm sure you'll be alright." He then leaned closer too her. "But just in case you do, can I have your Wonderbolt posters?"

Rainbow's eyes began to tear up. "Oh no! The Wonderbolts... I won't be able to join them now! They won't accept a ghost!"

"Spike! That wasn't very nice!" Pinkie growled, pushing him away. She then gave Rainbow a look of reassurance. "You'll be alright, Dashie, but Doctor Pinkie is going to have to prescribe you about three cups of water before you go to bed."

"Though she's still going to feel like she flew into a tree..." Applejack muttered.

Dashie hiccuped again at that.

"Thanks you guys, I'll definitely do that.." she groaned before fluttering her wings and taking off.

"Wait, Rainbow! You still shouldn't be flying!"

"Uh oh... this is only going to end up badly," Twilight said.

"Hah! Do you guys forget who you're talking to? I can fly anywhere, at any time!" she said as she flew in drunken zigzags, giggling. "Wheeeeeeeee, I feel so much better now! And this is so much more fun than usual, too! Fluttershy, you aughta try this some time!"

"Um... I'm not sure about that Rainbow," the shy pony squeaked while dragging a hoof across the ground. In the meantime, Rainbow began to perform several of her more complex aerobic maneuvers. "Can you please stop flying and come back down here... if you don't mind. You might crash into something..."

"Bah, you're no fun sometimes Fluttershy!" she called. "I bet Ditzy would, though. Wouldn't you Ditzy?!"

"Ehhh... I don't think so. I can't really fly straight sober," she said in a slightly embarrassed tone.

"Whatever, your loss! Hah! You know what? I think I might actually drink better when I fly!"

She then promptly crashed into a tree.

"Buck..." she groaned as she slid comically down its trunk to the ground.

The entire legion of party goers gave a collective wince. All except one.

"Hah. I guess she really is going to feel like she flew into a tree," Spike grinned.

The legion turned towards him with a blank look.

Spike held his palms out in exasperation. "What?! Jeez, and I thought the buffalo and settler ponies were a tough crowd to sell...."

The blank look continued.

"Fine! I'll make sure she's alright.." he muttered.

With that, the party goers began to disperse as Fluttershy and Spike took Rainbow home, Fluttershy opting to look over her during the night. Luckily, the stubborn mare had managed to make it through yet another test of her bodily endurance without breaking anything. This left Pinkie, Applejack, and few of her family members who were nice enough to volunteer to clean up the party. They were able to do so quickly, for luckily none had had too much to drink, yet still, Pinkie's head was in the clouds, moreso than usual, her thinking of all the past parties she had thrown, (and Dashie's safety occasionally). Was there truly any kind left to do?

Comments

[Silent Bob]

Sorry about the somewhat short chapter, the creative juices haven't been flowing so well lately! Still, I hope ye like.

[terrycloth]

Well, it does seem like it should have had Chrysalis making her move in the same chapter, but presumably that's coming up next.

[Braininthejar]

the song references hands, which ponies don't have
The last paragraph should have them taking Dash home, not Pinky

Cool. Waiting for next chapter.

[shutaro]

I can't wait for Voldemort, Sauron, Darkseid and the Master to play "Pin the tail on the pony" while in the background Davros and good old Sanator Palpatine are bobbing for apples.
Say, can we throw nominations for evil overlords at you? Because I'd be really mifted if those don't show up.

PS: The almighty tallest! If the party has snacks they will be there!

[Haku1013]

Was really hoping to see Chrysalis just pop out and take Pinkie, but I'm sure we'll her do that soon

[Moon_Dew]

Rita Repulsa and Lord Zed (maybe with Goldar, Baboo, Squat, and Finster)
Shredder and Crang (with Bebop and Rocksteady)
Cruella de Vil (not a dimensional traveler, I know, but would still like to see her here)
Trigon (from the Teen Titans cartoon)
Q
Mister Mxyzptlk (from the cartoon series of Superman)
Lobo (again from the cartoon series)
And Cultist-Chan (from Warhammer 40K fandom...could she be classified as a villain? I know she's a servant of the Ruinous Powers, but Chaos Cultist are more like mooks than villains...WH40K fans, help me out here.)

[Reaper1oo]

The lyric to the opening song had, seemingly, a lot of human references.

Oh Dash, I partially feel your pain - did the same thing first time I got wasted (drove, hit the tree in my front yard)
Obviously one should not emulate, mimic or copy my actions or decisions of that night!

[Reaper1oo]

1328298 Forgot to add so I'll do here: Very nice chapter, excellent flow and very good descriptions!

[GiftedMonster]

1326456 Genocide of a species ( attempted ), lies, secrecy, assassination, blackmail...

List goes on.

[Fernin]

Hahaha... Oh, Spike. You are the best.

[Magical Trevor]

XD Okay, you have me sold. It's hard to write a good Spike, but a good Spike has great one-liners, and that was pretty good! XD

[LittleBoyBlue]

Spike tries and fails every time.