Once Spiked, Now Barbed

by David Silver

3 - Birds and Bees

"Hey, teach."

Twilight looked up from her desk. She had not opened the door, nor allowed anycreature to entered, but there was Smolder, looking at her. "Is something wrong?"

"Maybe." Smolder pushed off the edge of the door. "I was talking with your bro--sister earlier." She snapped her fingers lightly. "Getting used to that."

"Me too," sighed out Twilight with a more understanding expression. "Did it... bother you?"

"A little." Smolder came up on her desk. "But that's not why I'm here. They made their decision, so she's a she now. Good for them! But now she's asking questions. Not even... bad questions... Any she-dragon would be wondering the same thing." Her cheeks began to burn, thinking back on it. "I know I was curious..."

Twilight stiffened, trying desperately to guess what Smolder was driving at. "Is this about draconic reproduction?"

"Yes! Yes, but also no... depending on how you're looking at it..." She edged a step away from the desk, eyes cast high. "We're not talking about dating or anything like that... But how a lady's body works. You're a pony, they have cycles too, don't they?"

"Of course." Twilight colored faintly. "Periods of greater and lesser interest due to fertility. Bothersome, but easily ignored."

"Really?" Smolder lifted her hands in a shrug. "Ponies have it easy. Now, dragons? We make eggs, and the eggs gotta go somewhere, even if we don't do anything with 'em, so..."

One could almost see the gears turning in Twilight's hear. "So... Oh... Oh! I had no idea..." She curled a hoof to her cheek. "Are other creatures like that?"

"Funny thing." Smolder's brows came down. "I haven't asked any of my friends about it. It's kind of rude to just.... ask... hey, do you lay eggs? I know ponies don't. Two of my friends are half bird, so maybe? One's an insect, so you'd think so right? I'm not asking! It's not my business! Also one of the half birds is a guy, so probably not. Back to the point." She slapped one hand against the other. "Spike wants to know about laying eggs." She caught herself a moment too late. "Barb. Barb wants to know. She deserves to know, since this will affect her, and she'll probably freak right out when it happens. You don't lay eggs, so you're not going to be helpful, at all. But I wanted to talk to you before I start going over this kinda stuff."

Twilight sagged back against her chair with a weary sigh. "Wow... How long... before this becomes an issue?"

Smolder lifted her shoulders. "Every dragon's different about that. Some of us do it yearly. Some of us monthly. I heard of one poor lady that did it every two weeks, what a pain." She rolled her eyes. "And that wasn't me, glad to say. One day, Barb's gonna get a feeling she never felt before, and the freak out will begin. So I'm asking if I can, and should, give some hints ahead of time."

"Of course!" Twilight blurted. "Please... Barb is lucky to have you as a friend." She set a hoof on her cheek. "I did not predict this would be a conversation I'd have today..."

Smolder hiked a thumb behind her. "That also means coming and getting me when it, you know, happens. Now, most dragons? We have to deal with it ourselves. According to some, it helps us be strong." She folded her arms across her chest. "But this is Barb. That train left the station years ago. She expects friends." Smolder smirked softly. "I'm jealous a little... But I'll be there, so come get me, alright?"

Twilight hopped down from her chair and hurried around her desk to Smolder. She hugged the teen dragon close. "Thank you. I feel awful I can't help..."

"You can help, by getting me." Smolder gently pushed Twilight back, reclaiming her personal space. "Sounds like we're cool then. I'll talk to her." Smolder fired a double thumbs up. "We're on the case."

---

"Woah." Barb glanced down, then away, glowing and hot in the face. "Really?"

Smolder raised a brow at Barb. "You asked me about it. You shouldn't be surprised it happens at all."

"Well, yeah..." She fiddled with her fingers. "Just... I thought we were talking like years away. I'm pretty young!"

Smolder reached out and plinked at Barb's closer wing. "See these? These double as a 'I'm probably gonna lay some eggs' hint."

Barb brought a wing around into her sight, grabbing it with both hands. "They're connected?"

"Basically." Smolder hiked a thumb back at her own wings. "Growing these bad boys is a hint that you're moving onto a new step in the whole dragon life cycle. You're not a baby anymore. Congratulations! You're in adolescence now. You'll grow, maybe a lot." She spread her hands. "You'll get wings, we covered that, and the first egg is on the way. Oh, that'd be rich... If you grew bigger than Garble, I will maybe die laughing..."

"S-so... I could become a mom?!"

Barb sputtered. "Woah! Hold your horses."

"Twilight isn't here." Barb looked around fretfully, quite ready to hold her horse tight.

Smolder snorted at that misunderstanding. "Do you know how babies are made? I'm guessing not."

"Uh..." Barb tapped at her chin in thought. "A lady dragon lays an egg... It hatches... New dragon?"

"So close... so far..." Smolder swung her arms up to put her hands behind her head. "You're not wrong, just missing a step or two. And without those steps, no hatching, and no new dragons. Since you probably won't be doing those steps, you won't become a mom. You'll just lay an egg."

Barb tried to figure out the missing steps, counting on her fingers and muttering as she imagined the process. "Uh... But then what are the eggs for? What do I... do with them?"

Smolder made a bit of a face. "Nothing. Throw them out. They're not going to do anything but take up space." She made a motion as if tossing a pretend ball into an equally imagined waste basket. "Keeping them is a bad idea. They'll go bad."

Barb's face soured. "Really?! That's awful... Twilight never laid any eggs?"

"Ponies are not dragons," calmly retorted Smolder, looking quite smug. "They don't do the egg thing. We do." Smolder flashed her sharp teeth. "Lucky us. So, you get it now?"

"No..." She crossed her hands as if to protect her belly. "But... Thanks. Um... So now I wait?"

"You wait." Smolder shrugged lightly. "Until you've had it a few times, and the pattern gets clear, you know little more than that. Welcome to growing up!" She threw up her hands with a tepid cheer. "It sucks, but you only have to do it once at least."

"Yay," echoed Barb with an uncertain tone. "So... alright... Guess that's... all to it until it happens." She scratched behind her head. "So why are you being evasive?"

"Because you're not ready!" stormed Smolder in an angry fit. "Sorry... Sorry... Look, it takes a daddy dragon and a mommy dragon to make little dragons. Just a mom isn't how it works." She wagged a finger. "And there are no daddy dragons even around here, so your odds are really against any baby dragons happening. You're not ready to be a mom anyway. You're barely ready to be you! Finish growing up, alright? Get a grip on you, then we can consider trying to branch out."

Barb recovered her footing from her flinch at Smolder's outburst. "Sorry..."

"You're a little sister I didn't ask for." Smolder punched Barb in the shoulder in a stiff but not too heavy landing. "Jerk." But she was smiling. "I'm here if you have questions. For now, just enjoy being you. You're a pretty great thing to be."

Barb colored brightly at that. "Really?!"

"Well, not as good as being me." She hiked a thumb at herself. "A close second? We'll go with that."

Barb jumped up and hugged Smolder tight. "Thanks for being there!"

Smolder patted Barb on the head gently. "Alright, alright. Now go off and be girly or whatever."

Barb dropped to the ground, frowning in thought. "Like..."

"I don't know." Smolder huffed out a bit of flame. "Wear a frilly dress or something? What do pony girls do?"

Barb considered. That sure was something Rarity did, often... "That's... a great idea actually! Thanks." And off she ran with a new mission in mind.

"No problem." Smolder watched Barb flee. "If you show up in a frilly dress... That might be cute." With a smirk, she returned to other things in need of her attention.

---

"It's open!" called Rarity in a musical trill. "Do come in, dear."

Barb threw open the door to Rarity's shop. "Hi!"

Rarity started. "Oh! Twilight had... Oh my... Darling, do come in."

Barb slipped inside and closed the door behind herself. "She told you? Um, hi! I'm Barbara, but Barb works great." She bowed properly. "A pleasure to meet you, again."

Rarity sat up with a lightly inclined head. "Darling... I... I was rather fond of my Spikey-Wikey..."

Barb colored at that. "I'm still here... Just... not that..."

Rarity raised a brow sharply. "I hate to ask, you are still a young thing... but are you... Do you... Darling, you've filled me with so many questions..."

Barb hopped forward, twirling in a circle in the air. "I'm here for your professional help, today."

Rarity perked up at that. "Oh! Well, darling, you know you can count on me for that." Yes, professional duties. It was so much easier to deal with those. "How can I help you, dear?"

Barb gestured over herself with both hands. "I want to look girly. I want to be the prettiest dragon you ever saw. Can you help me?"

Rarity burst into sudden laughter. "Well! My experience with dragons is limited, but not entirely unknown to me, dear. If that is what you wish, then I will make you the belle of the ball!" Her horn glowed as she brought over a flexible ruler and started taking Barb's measurements. "You haven't changed in size too much, but there are subtle differences. Best to just take them all."

Barb clapped with joy. "I know anything you make will look fantastic. You're a pro at this!"

"Darling." She smiled with the simple joy of her skill being acknowledged. "I will do my utmost to deserve such glowing praise. Now, as I work to get these numbers." A floating quill busily took down the measurements as she got them. "What manner of dress do you have in mind, dear? Something to stand and be admired, or do you need to move about, potentially a lot?"

Barb considered that with a soft humm. "I'm not gonna want to stand still... So it should still be mobile." She fired double finger guns. "I can't help you get gems if I'm buried in frills."

Rarity set her numbers aside. "Darling, whatever I make, you are not taking into any dirty caves. If you want work clothes, I can work on that next, but this will not be that. They are made for social events, not getting all filthy in, really dear."

Barb looked over the existing pony dresses. "I guess that's true. You don't usually get that dressed up, just a fancy hat sometimes... Oh! Do I get a fancy hat?"

Rarity smiled at her suddenly effimate friend. "You can get one if you like. That is seperate of the dress in most cases. Now, dear, you say you want to continue helping me? I... was thinking maybe you wouldn't want to, being a lady dragon and all."

Barb peered at Rarity quizzically. "Why would that change it? There's nocreature around that can dig for gems as good as me unless you make friends with a diamond dog... which I doubt."

"Truly," Rarity grunted in agreement. "But... I thought you helped, at least in part, because you were attracted to me?"

Author's Note:

Rarity drops a bomb and drags what was in the shadows into the light.

I owe one more update this month!

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Comments

[Amethyst Dragonfly]

"You're a little sister I didn't ask for." Smolder punched Barb in the shoulder in a stiff but not too hevy landing. "Jerk." But she was smiling. "I'm here if you have questions. For now, just enjoy being you. You're a pretty great thing to be."

Should be
not too heavy landing.

[Amethyst Dragonfly]

Smolder does not know much, if anything, about being a girly dragon.

[David Silver]

11372598
Fix!

[Booster Spice]

thinking od regular dragon eggs as the chicken branch etc? Othe dragons find them delicious, maybe even a wide range of flavours with wide range of dragon abilities, given the rate differences known?

[Moproblems Moharmoney]

Oof, now Spike/Barb has to cross a VERY awkward road.

[David Silver]

11372702
I doubt most she-dragons are super looking forward to offering up bits of themselves, living or not, as lunch.

[Booster Spice]

11372774

Torue, she crazy?

[Papyrus Zest]

I don't know how to properly explain my feelings towards this, so I'll just say thank you for giving me this version of Barb.