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Twilight has never been interested in romance, at least not for herself. But a rather flustered epiphany changes that and now she must try and work out what it is, exactly, that she feels for her athletic friend, Rainbow Dash. A friend she's convinced would never like her back in the same way.

It's going to take a bit of courage to measure the degree of her affections and to test the waters... but perhaps it'll be worth it.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 68 )

Aw, I like this. It has an almost casual feel as opposed to other, over dramatized relationship stories (nothing wrong with drama, its just nice sometimes to have a calmer story). Twilight was really in character, I think, and the letter seems like something she would do. I liked the reference to the statues, as Cloudsdale and the Pegasi do have that type of background. Anywho, nice work and keep up the great writing :pinkiehappy:

1309844 Thank you very much! Yes, I liked that part too. :D I figure that ponies used to have all sorts of minor deities before the Sisters... and if nothing else, the Greek-like pegasi have GOT to have them some statues. No self-respectin' Greek goes without statues. All of them rather naked.

1309918>>1309796 :raritywink: I doin' it right, y'all? :D

This was lovely!

Great Twilight POV, classic egghead!

Horray. A TwiDash. :twilightsheepish::heart::rainbowkiss:

That was very sweet :twilightsmile: well done

I'm definitely applauding. TwiDash are very appealing here, but I think the most distinctive feature is the brief but incisive characterization of Rarity. ("Bundle of contradictions," indeed.)

Its was rather good, but this was almost all tell and no show. I would have liked to see a lot more dialogue and see how the day went for myself other then just a little recap.

1310011>>1310139>>1310148 Thank y'all!

1310763 The original plan was for her to play a greater part in the tale. This story in a lot of ways just sort of fell apart on me in planning and I had to rework the whole idea. Sadly, Rarity's part was one of the things that fell by the wayside! but thank you kindly. :)

1310816 Aye-- you've a point. I derped up a bit with how I chose to tell this story and ended up relying on the framing letter far too much.

I like it
(Insert Thor gif i do not have)

I apparently liked it more than i thought because when i hit the thumbs up button it jumped from 32 to 37.
I know it was just lag, but i made me feel important

Keep up the good work

1311711

Hey thanks! (I grieve with you in your lack of a Thor gif)
Perhaps you're just that awesome? :P MY VOTE COUNTS FIVE TIMES! haha. :pinkiesmile:

This was awesome! It was a really great and even refreshing take on somewhat the same story you tend to see with TwiDash!

Also, I want to thank you for not hyping the whole elements thing, it seems that every story I read seems to go along the lines of them constantly reaffirming themselves as Element of X, and such. While it's certainly not a detractor from the story, it gets a little grating. The way you (realistically) touched on it, showing Dash as loyal, not telling she's the HURRDURRELEMENTOFLOYALTY, just makes me appreciate this even more.

So yeah, best of luck in your future stories, and frankly I hope to see more TwiDash from you in the future, even if it's not a continuation of this story.

That was quite well done, I must say! :pinkiehappy:

That was... amazing! Honestly, I read the whole thing and... wow...

All the characters were amazingly well written, and it was just.. I'm speechless! Kudos on the amazing story! :twilightblush:

1312653 First-- thank you very much for your kind words! While I usually don't mind that element (haha) being there... I'll agree with you that sometimes people harp on that/ use it as a crutch. I've seen the elements used poorly before myself. Dash is loyal with or without the element. She got it because she was already loyal! Also... Twidash. *coughs* Yes. Well... come by in a bit and I assure that Twilight and Dash will have some sort of reaction. :twilightoops:

1312901 Thank you very much (also--ooooh your the awesome pony who wrote Mood Wings Hello there!) I'm glad that you liked it! :twilightsmile:

1313816 Hey, thanks! I was really glad how well Twilight came out. I'm glad you thought Rainbow was well done. She was the one I wasn't sure 'bout. :pinkiehappy:

1314620
Yup :) As others said, Twilight's portrayal was excellent. The right amount of adorkable :twilightblush:

1314620
I hate how people often go on and on about the elements, as they somehow tied them to certain actions, gave them special powers (Applejack being able to tell when people lie being a big one) or somehow defined their characters.

Elements are a big part of who they are, both as strengths (Rainbow never betrays someone she is loyal to), and flaws (forcing her to a situation when she has to pick between loyalties will break her), but just saying "X is element of Y so she wouldn't/will Z, is horrible storytelling.
But as said, they have the elements because of who they are, they are not who they are because of the elements.

Also, great story, wish there was more of it. :moustache:

Nice job! This was really, really good. At first I was unsure when I saw the 4k words, thinking you'd have rushed it. But instead of cramming two months into a couple thousand words, you spent a few days on a couple thousand words. Sure, it may not cover a large time frame that way, but it's better to have a good short-time story than a poor long-time story.

I would've faved it were a little longer. Have a thumb. :twilightsmile:

1320869 I will call that thumb and raise you a Thank you! Thanks.

Actually, that's what I've tried to do with these 3 shorter tales. With this one... hm. It's kind of a longer tale crammed into a shorter one via the letter. That's because originally it was VERY different. I'm glad that you didn't feel it was too crammed!

And I agree: "but it's better to have a good short-time story than a poor long-time story." That's kind of what I've been telling myself after kind of putterin' out on two longer ones. I could've spaced it out, but I know myself well enough to realize when I'm gonna run out of steam...

Thanks a lot! I'm glad that you liked it, friend. :)

1321133 No problem. :)

D'awww...

This was wonderful. The conversations were well-written, the characterization was goood, and it made me smile. :twilightsmile::rainbowwild:

It was a little skimpy on the details though. Have you thought about continuing it?

Twilight had wondered if Rainbow would finally ask the question that hung in the air between them. That expectation had lodged itself in her mind and stayed there, prodding at her. Was it even realistic to think that it was possible Rainbow would just come out and ask? She had no idea. This was rather different in person. The art and the literature had perhaps gotten the sense right, but not the details.

***

As they were heading out, Rainbow paused in the doorway and turned to face Twilight.

Shouldn't this paragraph be unitalicized? Also, heading out? Don't you mean heading back?

1338115 I haven't thought about continuing it. (I may do more TwiDash, but it probably will be totally seperate from this)

Thankya! :D

Probably, I'll go look. As for heading out, I think I meant-- Dash is heading out the door to leave.

IMO 'heading out' makes it sound as though they're leaving to go on the date.

I'd definitely read more from you. :twilightsmile:

1338403 That makes sense. I can kind of see how you'd get there (going out/ heading out). Thanks!

Loved it. Faved it.Thumbed it up.

How...How many pieces of parchment did that take?


Otherwise i loved this. :pinkiecrazy:

1363108 Twilight actually singlehandedly keeps the parchment and quill industries afloat. Equestria had to bail them out, and Celestia just got Twilight to switch brands. Bam. Instant financial security.

Nice, cute little story. There were errors, but I will find those later. I look forward to reading more from you in the future!

1369845 Thank you! Glad you liked it.

1369895No problem. I just hope that the story I'm writing will be half as good as this one!

So awesome and sweet :twilightsmile:

Well done! :twilightsmile:

Very much out of the ordinary, but very good at the same time. First time I've seen a story set up like this.

What gave the story its win? The high quality of the writing? The cute story?

No, it was the minor historical in-joke about "Bucephalan" cuisine. Win! :moustache:

Although there is a strange shift to third person in the middle of one of the letter sections that confused me.

1487244 hurray someone noticed that I was far too proud of that. :moustache:

Is there? Huh. It may be that I included something in italics that I didn't mean to maybe? Or I probably just derped it up. Hm.

1572026 *The feel when one of your favorite artists likes your old story* :D

Thank you!

Excellent story. It's approach was different from many I have read, and I truly enjoyed that. I also liked how you would switch the perspectives throughout the story. Made it interesting. I loved this line in particular: "The only pony that compares to Pinkie in the immunity-to-sense department is Rainbow Dash." Made me smile. :pinkiesmile:

I found but one error, a misspelled word: "garrously" is spelled "garrulously." Seems like an easy mistake, one that I know I'd make.

Lastly, what the heck did you mean by "Bucephalan food?" I googled it and all I found was something about Alexander the Great's horse... so now I'm more confused. :rainbowhuh:

1596496 I like that line... I do not remember writing it at all. 0_o

Bucephalus was Alexander's horse... and who did he claim to be a descendant of? And where was that legendary hero from?

It's pony greek food. I wanted lamb writing this. I'm a huge fan of Greek and Med. fare.

1596522 Ahh, thanks for clearing that up. I love learning little things like this. :twilightsmile:

1596590 heh it's one of the parts of this thing I still like. :3 Bucephalan food. lol

Very nice short, Good Job! :twilightsmile:

2083611

Rainbow Dash sounds like one of the Tunnel Snakes from Fallout 3. She's a comb over and leather jacket away from being the Fonz.

This is why you're my favorite even when you're mean to me

Short, simple, and sweet—the kind of heartfelt love story that anyone can appreciate, whether you're into fillyfooling or not. Of course, it helps that the characterization is spot-on and the prose is smooth as silk . . . :raritystarry:

Personally, I've had this scenario go badly for me so many times that it can get a little hard to imagine things going right. I love stories that make my day a little brighter for having read them. Well done, Cynewulf, and thank you.

Onward!

2085076 I'm glad you enjoyed this one and I really love how you've continued.


This one got all those views and I just... goodness I'm embarassed by how well it did. It really shouldn't have. This one is rough, I think. But it's not terrible. From here on out I think it finally starts getting good. It does get a LOT darker, though. But I don't do tragedy, if it's any help.

Twilight, that's not what "friends with benefits" means. :twilightblush:

And Cyne, don't sell yourself short. Rough != bad(fuck programming has changed the way I think). While there are a few rough edges(aren't there always?) they add to the charm. This honestly feels like Twilight is both writing a letter and reminiscing on the events she's writing about. A particular favorite is when she cuts her memory off because "the princess doesn't need to know about that." That's just... it's a perfect moment. Never mind that combination of Rainbow's brashness and her sensitivity. Sure, she has fun, but she'd never let that fun hurt someone else. Too many fics turn the humour into a coping mechanism or ignore her caring nature... because everyone knows a brash, abrasive pony would do super well befriending Fluttershy. -.-

2156404 Rainbow can be a jerk. But she has a good heart--no filter, but good intentions.

Haha, I'm not quite sure, but I am glad you didn't die reading it. :3

2156602

Ah, the sign of a true artist- you hate your own work. Author vision, and all that.

Luckily, Rainbow Dash had begun spending time at the library

How convenient.

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