• Member Since 10th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen 14 minutes ago

DualSoul1423


I am an Eldritch Horror that likes gay horses.

Sequels1

Comments ( 27 )

I do not care for the clop, but the story as a whole was well written and a good sequel to the morning.

11350304
To be honest, I was hesitant writing the clop. I wasn't sure if I should release it at all, but I wanted to challenge myself a bit and I wanted to test the reception to it. Thanks for reading though! I am very happy you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

11350313
should have entered it into the NSFW contest.
could have won the plot category i think.

11350365
Really, you think so? Awfully nice of you to say... But there was a contest? In a group, or is there a designated site location for those?

11350381
Yeah, seeing how this is mostly plot with the fap tacked on, i think you'd have good chances:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/216529/dezmos-nsfw-contest
There are many stories suddenly popping up because of this.

11350439
Aw, shucks. My story isn't eligible for being too long, and the deadline was yesterday. Real shame, but whatever. I wrote this for fun. But I'll keep that in mind for later. Thanks for the link!

11350445
Keep writing please.
I may not like clop, but otherwise i enjoy reading well written stuff.

11350495
Not planning on stopping anytime soon. I'm sure you'll see me around again.

Doesn't Sunset have her own house?

11351003
She lives in an apartment, not a house. A rather small one, in fact. It's not even equipped with a kitchen. The YouTube Short called "Monday Blues" gives a good sense of their living arrangements.

That was all really cute. Keep up the great work!!!

11351248
Thank you kindly! I intend to!

My favorite pair being adorable.

Yea, the universe had it out for you Sunny, but it balanced the scales in the end.

11351296
Yeah, I think so too. And I'm glad that you found it cute. I've been finding that cutesy stuff is pretty fun to write.

This was a well written and adorable opening. I know if I were Night Light and my daughter called me and then hung up I'd be pretty annoyed, but happy she at least called to say she was okay.

The restaurant burned down... That still cracks me up.

Put a little bow on the end of a bad day. Love wins. Excellent.

11352035
Thank you for the compliment! I'm always happy to hear when people are enjoying my stories. As for Nightlight... I like to imagine that he did a little fist-pump out of pride for his daughter after that call. I always imagined him as that kinda dad.
11352051
Nothing does a bad day better than spending some quality time with your lover.

Great, date night story

11415007
Thanks! I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out, and I'm always happy to hear that others enjoy it as well.

I had my suspicions about the restaurant being on fire when the fire truck was mentioned, and how smoothly everything went thus far.
I had a couple of minor irritations with the chapter. It was written well, don't get me wrong. The following are basically nitpicks. For one, if they know each other so well - which was mentioned a couple of times -, Twilight should have known that Sunset would be pissed about her plans being ruined, right? Her being upset should not have come as a surprise, right? And on the other side, Sunset should have known that Twilight would be fine with this. Especially after she said that this fast food-date would be more memorable to her anyway. How could Sunset think 'she'll dump me over this' when literally nothing about this was her fault at any point? She's not the one who burned down the restaurant, or made the storm go haywire, or made the lightning strike her block. Everything that went wrong was out of her control. Why why would she ever think Twi would dump her over this?
/nitpicks
I still enjoyed the chapter a lot. It's always a darkly amusing premise. Bad luck. Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And how different characters deal with it.
Onward to the next chapter.

11443529
Sunset Shimmer has a long history of self-esteem issues, and it's not something she ever really completely got over by the end of the series. She regularly second-guesses herself and beats herself up over mistakes, even those that aren't really hers. She tended to hide her accomplishments, and had some signs of imposter syndrome, being hesitant to accept praise or trust herself to operate alone and without the support of her friends. Being someone who has a lot of similar qualities to Sunset, these little details made a big impression on me and have vastly shaped how I write her. And as for Twilight... She never really got very good at reading people. She was kinda blinded to how much fun she was having on the date to not realize how little fun Sunset was having, especially considering that Sunset was bottling up her emotions. In the end, it was a communication error on their part, which is both typical of their characters, and of young couples.

Still, I'm happy that you otherwise enjoyed it! I hope you enjoy the second half as well!

I like how... for lack of a better word, 'realistic' it all was. Like... they weren't going at it for hours, they didn't display the stamina of professionals, it was just... a nice first-time exploration. It was cute. It was endearing. It was heart-warming. Including all the awkwardness that was to be expected. And they took it in stride and giggled about it. Sounds healthy.
I enjoyed the ride.

Thank you for writing!

11443569
That was the intention, and I'm glad I managed to capture it well!
Thank you very much for reading, and especially for commenting! I very much appreciate it!

11443575
You're welcome. I know how much of a difference that can make.
You did good.

Twilight however, was not so easily deterred. “So Sunset… Do you have any candles?”

Omg. I swear, I'm learning so much new words from reading this fic.

Without thinking, they kissed. Sunset pulled Twilight towards her, and she fell into it. Their embrace was beyond mere passion despite only being a connection of the lips. It was a conversation between their souls where no words were needed. From beyond universes, they found each other and their love would burn like the candle on the desk. Even though it may have been fleeting to certain eyes, it would undoubtedly burn until the end; strong, bright, and visible in the darkest corners of life.

Wow, this is really deep.

“Sunset, I need your phone. I need to call my father.” Sunset blinked a few times, before nodding silently. She realized that the two of them nearly crossed a line, and it was best to end the night here.

And I oop–

“Dad. It’s me, Twilight. I’m staying the night. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you, bye.” Without waiting for a response, she hung up, and passed the phone back to a stunned Sunset. Her face firm with resolve, Twilight moved past Sunset, around the couch, and to the stairs leading to the bed. Sitting down on the bed at the top of the small staircase, she looked down at Sunset, who still hadn’t moved. Instead of speaking, she blushed deeply, and patted the sheets beside her with a hand.

WAIT WHAT? I am just as surprised as Sunset—




(I completely forgot there was a next chapter and I was like "NO, THIS CAN'T BE IT. I'VE BEEN ROBBED TOO MANY TIMES ALREADY")

Twilight immediately moved in for a kiss, once again surprising Sunset. At first, it was gentle and experimental, and then she went in for another. Then another. Each was more forceful and eager than the last, slowly building back up the intensity that they shared on the couch. Soon, her hands let go of Sunset’s and brought them to her shoulders, leaning harder into her.

And here it starts.. :twilightsmile:

“Holy crap… this is s-so much better than doing it myself… C-can you put another finger in, p-please?” Sunset’s ragged and erratic breaths were making it clear just how much she was enjoying this, with her voice becoming shaky.

Wait.. I'm not even gonna ask- :trixieshiftright:

Although her tongue was growing tired and numb from the exertion, Twilight was determined to make Sunset orgasm right here and now. She kept up the pace, deciding to move her hands away from Sunset’s thighs and back down to her own loins, feverishly fingering herself as she continued licking away. As soon as she removed her hands from Sunset’s thighs however, she found that her lover was too far gone in the throes of bliss and absentmindedly locked her legs around Twilight’s head, squeezing hard as her climax continued to build to a peak. Surprisingly, Twilight didn’t mind this at all, and in fact it aided her in her own delight. Being smothered by Sunset’s firm flesh increased the sensuality of the situation by several magnitudes, and her oral efforts were redoubled as a result.

Come on, Sunset. Twilight's doing all the work here.



(I can't wait for more–) :yay:

11773239
Thank you for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much, though I'm unlikely to continue this plotline. I definitely enjoyed writing this though, so maybe someday I'll find another reason to write smut. I'm definitely not done with pony (and especially SciSet) stories, but I'm taking a break from writing fanfics at the moment. I've been working off-site on some original projects that are eating up all my time... I digress; thank you again for reading! :twilightsmile:

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