Dreams Have Big Expectations
Chapter V: Dreams Have Big Expectations
I’ve never really gone to this park before… It’s a place that’s on the other side of the city from my apartment, so it’s not really a place I’m that eager to go to. It’s cute enough I suppose. It has quite a few trees, some playground equipment and large open areas for people to walk in. It’s almost like one of those parks straight out of a cheesy love movie or some slice-of-life flik from a few years ago. Regardless, this is where Sunset wanted to meet, so I came here. Let’s just hope she’s not planning on kidnapping me.
Chuckling to myself, I slowly walk into the park, getting myself acquainted with the area. Seriously though. I haven’t known Sunset for too long. This meetup is supposed to be just a fun little get-together where we can learn more about each other. She seems nice enough. Maybe we can actually be friends. Even though I find it hard to believe that I could make a friend. I have way too many responsibilities and I don’t have the best record of being nice to people. Besides, I haven’t had a friend… well, I’ve never had a true friend. Maybe it just isn’t in the cards for me. I just hope Aria and Sonata can make friends. And keep them…
Looking up at the playground equipment in front of me, I see a couple of kids playing together, running around and having a good time. That’s what I want for Sonata… Aria already had to deal with quite a bit of trauma holding her back from enjoying her childhood to the fullest, but Sonata? She should have those chances… I want to give those to her…
As soon as one of the kids hits the other one with a stick, one of the moms gets off the bench, yelling at them. Her eyes are full of anger as she grabs her kid, pulling them away from the playground. All this chaos within a second. Is that normal…? Is it normal for mothers to get so angry? To delve into chaos at a moment’s notice? A shiver goes up my spine… For a mother to yell at her children when they do something wrong. When they do anything at all… The wind’s speed increases, cool air brushing my neck. Is it normal for parents to miss their child’s doctor appointments? To forget to pay the dues for a field trip simply because she wanted to get high? Is it normal for the water and electricity to be shut off frequently due to late bills…?
Maybe it is… Maybe it’s normal to feel that sense of dread throughout your childhood… Whenever you speak out against them, it’s normal to feel the wall hit the back of your head or for her hand to hit your cheek… Whenever someone asks about the marks, you have to make some excuse. “I fell!” or “I was playing too rough.” They’re all the same… She tells you that if you don’t make an excuse, she’ll hurt you even worse. Or your siblings… Biting my lip, I try to ignore the cold and the unbearable thoughts. Scalding water if you dared take her money… No food if you came home late… The belt or her hands were always the go to for any other offense… It wasn’t normal. No part of my childhood was normal… I didn’t get to have friends over. I didn’t get to go on field trips. Every day of my life was spent looking after Sonata and Aria… I took most of the punishment for them.
Even if they didn’t do anything wrong, sometimes dear old mom needed a punching bag… Sometimes her life was way too hard so she punished us for it… I can still hear the sound of her screams. The sound of the belt… My hand clenches into a fist, despite how much I try to let go. I promised I would never scream at Aria and Sonata… I promised I would never lay a finger on them. That woman wasn’t a mother in any sense other than biological. She was a monster… It scares me to think I came from someone like her… Why does she have to affect my life this much? I’m not scared of her coming back. I got Sonata, Aria and I away from her. We’ll never see her again. That should be solace enough, right?
No… I have to see her face in my darkest moments. I have to hear her snarls and remember the heavy smell of alcohol… She haunts my every living moment… What did I do to deserve all that torture? What did the girls do? If she really wanted someone to beat up so bad, why didn’t she exclusively focus on me? She focused on all three of us, making me have to get in the way and save them from whatever she was planning… That’s not normal. It can’t be normal to have that kind of monster as a parent. The one thing she was able to do to Sonata was push the butt of her cigarette on Sonata’s skin… It’s barely visible now and she can’t remember it, but I took the rest of the abuse for her since then. She didn’t deserve it… Aria didn’t deserve it. Maybe I did… It’s so hard to not think of her screams… Her belt. I will never have the warm embrace of a parental figure… Someone to tell me I’m doing a good job. At least I can try to give that to the girls. To tell them they’re still doing good and be there for them…
“Adagio?” a voice refers to me, breaking me from my thoughts. Looking to my right, a woman with fiery hair greets me with a smile, seemingly happy to see me. “How are you doing?” she asks kindly, almost removing all the memories that my mind just brought up…
“Sunset, hey,” I say quietly, shaking her hand with a nod. “I’m doing well. This is a neat park you wanted to meet at,” I tell her while looking at our surroundings, trying to distract myself from what my mind was just thinking about.
“Yeah, I visited this park a lot when I came to this worl-” Sunset immediately stops herself mid sentence, nervously clearing her throat. “I-I mean, when I came to this country.”
“Were you about to say ‘world?’” I ask her with a chuckle, once again seeing Sunset struggle with her words. Is she always this strange? “Pretty big mess up there, don’t you think?” I tease her with a jab of my elbow, both of us walking further into the park together.
“W-well, yeah! I mean, it’s kind of like a different world, you know? Going from one country to another.” Her eyes look up towards the sky, making me a little curious about her life. She’s from another country. Is that why most of her friends aren’t around here? That would explain why she’s so eager to make friends here.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been out of the country. Where are you from if you don’t mind me asking?” Sunset’s eyes widen at my question, nervously scratching her head. Her eyes look around us, clearly anxious about my question. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I was just curious, that's all.”
Reconnecting her gaze with mine, a surprised look comes from her eyes, yet she still seems… happy. “Thank you for understanding~ It’s kind of… a sensitive topic right now.” Patting my shoulder, Sunset giggles slightly, both of us walking underneath the gazebo at the center of the park. Without the sun bearing down on us, the fall wind feels even cooler, brushing through my hair. “In the same vein, you don’t have to answer any question you’re not comfortable with. Do you mind if I ask you something?” A genuine look comes from Sunset, wanting to know my honest opinion. It can’t hurt, right? Nodding my head, an eager look comes over her face, turning her body towards me. “Alright. So, you said you had a little sister when we first met. What’s her name?” she asks me with a curious stare.
She’s interested in my family members? Huh. I didn’t think she would ask that. If anything, I thought she might ask me something about my interests. “I have two younger sisters. One of them is almost eleven and her name is Sonata. The other is seventeen. Her name is Aria.” Upon hearing my statement, a look of what can only be described as a mix of shock and confusion comes over her face, raising her eyebrow at me.
“Sonata and Aria…?” she asks me with disbelief, seemingly thinking a lot about their names.
“Um… Yeah. Is that a problem?” I ask her with a confused tone. Why does she seem to have this much of a reaction to their names? She’s never even met them before from my knowledge. Unless they met her at school?
“N-no! Not at all. They just sound like… familiar names,” Sunset says slowly, her eyes looking towards the floor. “You said Sonata’s eleven? Does she like typical ‘girly’ stuff or is she into other things?” The previous look of enthusiasm and curiosity returns to Sunset’s face, making me question why she had such an adverse reaction to their names. Maybe she’s already met a Sonata and Aria in the past and disliked them.
“Well, she’s kinda in the middle. She likes princesses, but she also likes superheroes from time to time. She also primarily plays with stuffed animals, unlike her classmates.” Walking over to a bench, I sit down with her, still taking advantage of the shade.
“Oh? Then what’s Aria like?”
“A rebellious teenager who hangs out with the wrong crowd. What can you do though?” I say with a heavy sigh, thinking of Aria’s trouble in the past year. “Though, she can be sweet on some days. It just depends with her.” Leaning my head on the back rest of the bench, I look up at the ceiling of the gazebo.
“Oh? I see. I never had siblings, so I’m not quite sure what that’s like. What about your parents?” Parents… That word still sometimes hurts these days. It’s supposed to be normal to have parents, but that was an aspect of my life I never had.
“We don’t really… have parents,” I tell her quietly, taking a deep breath of fresh air. “I’m the closest thing to a mom they have, honestly. Hell, Sonata had her first playdate today and she referred to me as her mom to her friend.”
“Why did she do that? Does she see you as her mom?” Sunset asks me curiously, leaning on the bench’s backrest and aiming her body towards me to give me all of her attention.
“No, she sees me as a big sister. She’s trying to save face in front of her friend since she’s been bullied since she’s being raised by her sister and not her actual parents.” It’s not the only reason she’s bullied… Sonata is bullied for being too kind, noisy, and unique. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to stop that fact. Why do children have to be so mean to each other…?
“Sonata gets bullied?” Sunset asks me slowly, an understanding and sympathetic tone to her stare. “Do you want to talk about it?”
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“So, your friends used to live here?” I ask Sunset as we walk down the sidewalk, making our way through the city. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how our conversation has gone this far. We’ve been talking for hours, just aimlessly walking to pretend we’re doing something more meaningful than talking. Perhaps it seems a little… pointless. To everyone else, if you say you spent hours talking to someone, they instantly ask if you had anything more productive to do. Sunset told me about how she attended Canterlot High and how she had quite a bit friend group back then. But now, it seems they don’t live here anymore.
“Yeah, we all lived here. We were all different in a way. Some of us were outgoing. Some of us were shy. But we were all friends. Now everyone is going off in their separate direction except for Applejack. Her farm still matters a lot to her.” Sunset kicks a pebble down the sidewalk, sighing quietly to herself. “But we still meet with each other every year. We keep in touch and we go on trips to catch up and keep our friendship alive.”
“That sounds draining,” I tell her slowly, looking at her with a slight smile on my face. Honestly, if I was in her situation, I wouldn’t know what to do. Something like that would drain my energy so fast, making me wonder whether or not we’re still friends when we do see each other.
“Exactly,” Sunset says with a deep exhale, seemingly happy that I understand her. Her warm smile returns to her face, rubbing my shoulder slowly. “Thank you. For being so understanding.”
“Hey, we all have our struggles. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not natural,” I tell her with a chuckle, pushing her slightly. Both of us giggle slightly at the situation, the orange and purple sky making her hair almost glimmer.
“Oh yeah? Then what’s one of your struggles? Besides you raising your sisters by yourself. God knows that’s many struggles combined in one,” Sunset teases me with a wink. She’s right though. Raising them is a big struggle of mine. One I’ve talked about way too much during this conversation, so it wouldn’t hurt to try and think of a different struggle.
“I… often feel over confident in myself.” Looking towards the sky, I try to remember some of my school days, pushing the memories of my mother away. “I had an attitude that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. Hell, my ego still sometimes gets to me. It’s something I’ve gotten better with over time, but I still sometimes slip into that mindset.”
“Overconfident, huh? Well, I can understand that actually. I used to be like that, but that issue has basically been killed.” Looking at Sunset, I can’t help but feel curious about what she just said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
“What happened?” She used to be overconfident in herself too, huh? I wonder what could have “killed” that part of herself. Especially since she seems perfectly confident and determined now.
“Well, I… was kinda one of the mean girls back in high school. I bullied quite a few people and all, but… I got served a taste of my own medicine in a sense. Now, I’m here.” Sunset’s eyes look up at the sky with a solemn smile spreading across her face. “I’m not like that anymore, just so you know. I’m just trying to be the best person I can be.” This whole day has been really… nice. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to talk to someone like this, so I wasn’t worried Sunset would still be like that. She’s obviously a kind and trusting person.
“Everyone makes mistakes, Sunset. I don’t think you’re a bad person. Far from it.” Walking a few steps in front of her, I offer my hand to her, trying to give her the best smile I can. “I hate to say this, but I do have to go now. I had a lot of fun, Sunset. Really. Maybe we can do this again sometime?” Looking at my hand for a moment, Sunset takes my offer and shakes my hand, giggling to herself.
“Of course~ I’d love to~”
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The roaring sound of applause fills the summer air. The sun shines down on everyone, the beautiful colors of nature surrounding us. Everyone sits in front of the big stage, waiting patiently to watch each participant walk up and accept their reward. Every participant wears their black cloak and square hats, a prideful smile spread across their lips. Even though the attire looks ridiculous, everyone is so happy at this moment. I can’t help but feel tears come to my face, knowing what’s coming up. It’s time. All this time of raising them, helping them grow and giving them all I can has paid off. Now, here we are, waiting for the big moment.
I stayed up all night last night just to make sure my camera is working. I don’t want to miss this moment. Being able to capture it and relive it in the future will be priceless. I’m sure they won’t be as enthusiastic as I am when they see me taking pictures, but they will thank me later. Right? The fact that we’re even standing here today is a sign that we’ve done well for ourselves. I… did well. I did everything I could to help them live a normal life and this is the reward I get. Getting to see the happy smiles on their faces as they walk on that stage, ready to start a new chapter in their lives. If only dear old mom could see us now. See how far they’ve made it. From all the abuse and hate, they’re standing proud. You didn’t break them like you wanted. Maybe you broke me, but you didn’t get to break them.
The applause roars again just as the announcer calls the two names I’ve been waiting for this whole time, making me stand up quickly. Taking my camera out, tears run down my cheeks. I feel so happy for them. So proud. Seeing them walk out on that stage with their big smiles only makes me more confident I did the right thing. Their hands wave in the air, seemingly laughing from all the emotions in the air. Taking their diplomas, both Aria and Sonata look towards me, waving at me. The snap of my camera can barely be heard, my heart pounding. I’m so proud of you. Sonata struggled with so much bullying and hate. Aria, you struggled with all of that combined with the effect of a bad group of friends and narcotics. You’ve both done so well~
“Adagio?” Sonata’s voice calls out my name in a quiet tone, despite the distance between us. Did I mishear…? “Are you awake?” Opening my eyes, an almost pitch black room is all I can see, my mind feeling dizzy and disoriented. What…? Shaking my head slightly, I turn my gaze behind me, looking towards my door. The light from the hallway spills into my room, showing a silhouette of a small girl holding a teddy bear. Her blue skin is barely visible due to the bright light, making me squint my eyes.
“Sonata? Is everything alright?” Sitting up in my bed, I rub my eyes, trying to wake up as fast as I can. Time to move, Adagio. If she needs you, it’s time to wake up. “What happened?” Sonata doesn’t say anything for a moment, just standing in my doorway with her eyes staring at the floor. Her body fidgets back and forth, seemingly uncomfortable standing there, but she’s still reluctant to move forward.
“I-I… had a nightmare,” Sonata barely lets out, a crack in her voice interfering with her sentence. Within a moment, tears start flowing from Sonata’s eyes, crying on the spot.
“Sweetie, come here~ It’s alright, I promise~” The light in the hallway finally turns off, Sonata shutting the door behind her before running towards my bed. Grabbing her by the sides, I quickly pull her up onto the bed, holding her next to me. Her cries get slightly louder as she holds onto me, hugging both me and Mr. Thompson. Her tears dampen my shirt, but it’s hard to care about that when my main priority is helping her feel better. Running my fingers through her hair and keeping her body as close to mine as possible, I quietly take a deep breath in and gently shush Sonata. “Shhh. It’s alright~ I’m here. I won’t leave~” Her breaths, once rapid and erratic, are now deep and almost stable. Even though her tears don’t stop, her breaths are more calm than before. No other sound can be heard other than us. Rubbing the back of her head, I kiss Sonata’s forehead and move her to my lap, slowly rocking her back and forth. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” I ask her with a soothing tone, trying to do everything I can to calm her down. After a moment with no response, Sonata shakes her head, leaning on me with a couple of sniffles coming from her. Perhaps it is the best course of action to avoid the dream altogether. I don’t want to make her relive a nightmare that was clearly scary enough to make her come to my room. “Alright~ Would you like to hear another story? You can also sleep in my bed so that I can protect you if you want.” Without even waiting a second, Sonata quickly nods to my offer, hugging me again.
“M-mhmm,” is all she lets out, making sure to stay as close to me as possible. All the while, she holds her bear and tries her best to avoid crying again. Leaning back on the wall, I slowly shush her again, patting her back as I try to think of a story. The dream I had was a great dream… My mind was imagining seeing Sonata and Aria graduating, making all that hard work worth it in the end. The two of them wouldn’t graduate together, but it was still a really nice thought. It just sucks that I got to have a great dream, but Sonata had to have a horrible nightmare… I won’t leave her alone. I’ll be here as long as she needs me. Not just tonight, but whenever she will need me, I will be here.
“Did I ever tell you about the time the siren princess went to the city~?”
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I feel like having a rebellious teenager in the house could cause a fun moment after this chapter. Adagio explains where she's been, Aria looks at her for a minute before suddenly just asking, "so when did you go lesbian?" "What??!! What Are you talking about???" "You lost track of time walking around a park with someone for hours just talking about your lives. And they just so happen to be a girl." "That's not gay." "It's definitely not straight."
Another great chapter.
11379641
XD That's legit hilarious. I am so tempted to include this. I guess it'll really depend on how the story goes for now. XD Aria can definitely be like that~
11379904
Feel free to use any ideas my depraved mind generates, I wouldn't have said them out loud if I wanted to lay claim to to them. May they bring you good fortune on the next chapter.
Still, it was too close.
Bullying someone for being noisy I can understand, but kindness and unique, no...
big*
11379904
Actually now I’m curious of what happen to there father
11476245
I think the prequel mentions him basically bailing on them after Sonata was born. Assuming their harridan of a mother didn't murder him and sell his organs for drug money.