• Published 6th Aug 2022
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Dreams and Reality - Spyder27



Trying to take care of her younger sisters is very difficult. Adagio has to make multiple sacrifices to keep them happy, but when she meets a kind woman, she decides to let herself have a friend. Life still has many problems for her yet, though...

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A Different Kind of Struggle

Chapter III: A Different Kind of Struggle

It’s official. This lady has no idea what she’s talking about. I never went to Canterlot High, yet she is certain she met me there. Of course, Sonata and Aria have been going there for the last few years, so maybe she met me, but I’ve only ever been a guardian there. Not an actual student. The shocked look on her face almost makes me want to play along with her story, but it would be cruel to pretend I’m someone she knew.

“Oh? You didn’t…?” she asks me with a curious tone of disbelief, seemingly thinking it’s impossible that I’m not whoever she thinks I am. If there really was a student at Canterlot High who looked similar to me, I would be surprised. And had a similar name to mine… Then again, she could have read my name tag. “I… I apologize. I guess I have you confused for someone else,” she tells me quietly, looking to the floor. I don’t usually care for other people. Especially customers. If anything, no one else can understand what I have to go through, so it’s hard for me to be empathetic. The only people I look out for are the girls and myself. But… this woman’s downtrodden face upon realizing her mistake almost makes me feel… sad for her. I don’t know why if I’m being honest. Maybe it’s just one of those tiring days…

Taking a step closer to the strange woman, I look at the shelf she was searching once more. “Is there anything I can help you with?” I ask her again, trying to forget the awkward first impressions. “Is there a gift you’re trying to get for someone?” Sunset’s eyes look at me with surprise, seemingly interested that I’m still willing to help her.

“Well, um… I’m not really trying to get a gift for someone else. I was trying to buy myself something,” she tells me with a nervous smile, rocking her body back and forth. “It’s my birthday today and most of my friends live out of town, so… I was wanting a little celebration.” A blush comes to her cheeks, probably embarrassed about giving away so many details.

“You don’t have any family to celebrate with?” I ask her with a raised eyebrow, causing her to shake her head slowly.

“Unfortunately, no. I don’t. That’s why I’m buying myself a gift. I’m just not sure what I should get.” Sunset’s eyes return to the shelf, only making me ask more questions. Usually, people buy themselves things like towels or hygiene products. Maybe a treat of some kind. People don’t come to the toy aisle unless they want to buy a child a gift. It’s pretty… unique. Most people would call this woman pathetic or weird, but my experience with Sonata has taught me that toys aren’t necessarily restricted to a specific age. Sonata still plays with stuffed animals even though most of the kids her age have given them up.

“I see. Do you want some help deciding?” I ask her, prompting her to look towards me with a curious tone in her gaze. Her attitude still seems somewhat hesitant like when she first saw me, but she slowly nods to my offer.

“You know what? Sure, I could use some help,” she tells me with a smile spreading across her lips.

“You seem like a reserved person,” I say quietly, turning my gaze back to the toys. “Yet forward with your opinion. Relatively happy.” Happiness is a feeling I haven’t felt in a… long time. Between all the struggles with Sonata and Aria, our living arrangement and making sure they do well in school, it’s all a mess. It’s… refreshing to see a customer with a bit of happiness. Everyone seems so fake in this world. For some reason, she seems real. Not afraid to be herself. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your favorite color?” I ask her, keeping my eyes on the selection of toys in front of us.

“Oh? Um… It would probably be orange,” Sunset says nervously, almost like she hasn’t been asked that question in a long time. Looking at the selection of toys, I can’t help but notice one that stands out among the rest.

“Feel free to tell me if I’m wrong about this,” I tell her before grabbing a stuffed animal. The toy was a cutesy alligator with big magenta eyes, its body primarily colored in orange and yellow. “But I think this would probably be a good fit for you.” Handing her the stuffed animal, a surprised look comes over her face, gently touching the toy’s soft exterior.

“What made you think of this?” Sunset asks me, locking her eyes with mine. Usually, conversations with customers don’t get this personal, but I suppose I’ve never had a customer ask me to choose a present for them.

“You seem confident and happy. Your favorite color is orange. It’s just rudimentary honestly. None of the other animals on the shelf would probably be as confident as the alligator.” I should know. I’ve told a dozen stories to Sonata about animals, making personalities for each creature along the way. Maybe I’m just letting my bias get in the way, but she doesn’t have to take my suggestion. She could put the toy back on the shelf for all I care.

“You seem to have a lot of experience with this,” she tells me with a kind smile, seemingly interested in my choice. Why is she so keen on having a conversation with me? I’m not that interesting. Then again… It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to someone.

“Well, I have a little sister I tell stories to, so yeah… Kinda get used to stuffed animals and giving personalities to toys,” I tell her with a slight shake of my head, embarrassed at the fact that I instantly gave her toy a personality and made a story for it. “Anyway, you can disregard my suggestion. That’s just what I would pick for you.” Looking back down at the toy, Sunset simply shakes her head, holding it closer to her body.

“No, I think I will buy it~ Thank you~” she responds with a nod of her head, making me smile softly.

“Okay then. Tell me if you need any more help.” Without another word, I turn away from the woman, walking down the aisle and pushing my supply cart.

“It was nice to meet you, Adagio!” Sunset calls after me, making me feel a little odd. She is a… strange woman. Not necessarily in a bad sense. Just… strange.

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Opening the door to our apartment, I can hear music playing inside. It sounds like heavy rock music, echoing off the walls of our living room. Walking inside and closing the door behind me, I see Aria sitting on the couch, writing something down in a notebook. She’s not on her phone…? Or in her room? Even before our fight, Aria would always spend her time in her room, being a typically rebellious teenager. Walking over to the TV, I turn the volume of the music down, prompting Aria to look up at me. “Hey,” I say quietly, taking my coat off.

“Hi,” she blandly responds, looking back down at the notebook in her hands. Clicking her pen, she puts her notebook down and picks up the TV remote to pause her music. “Sonata? Adagio is here,” Aria calls out for our little sister, the sound of a door abruptly opening. With the speed of a comet, a blue blur runs into the room, colliding with my stomach and subsequently giving me a hug. If I wasn’t used to this, this blur would have scared me more than I would like to admit. And possibly push the air out of my lungs, but I’ve long since learned Sonata’s typical patterns of showing affection.

“Hi, Adagio! Are you doing okay?” Sonata asks me with bright eyes, looking up at me. Tomorrow is the day Sonata goes back to school, so she hasn’t really changed out of her pajamas all day. Picking her up and swinging her back and forth momentarily, I smile at sonata’s giggles before holding her close to me.

“Yeah, I’m alright~ I assume you’re probably ready for dinner, right?” I ask her, not feeling surprised to see her nod. Despite her small body, Sonata seems to have an insatiable appetite. It isn’t a bad thing by all means, but it sure does drain my wallet.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” Aria chips in with a monotone voice, stretching from her position on the couch. It’s surprising to see Aria is talking to me, considering what I said the last time we talked.

“I was thinking I could make us some homemade tacos tonight if everyone is up for that?” I say with a smile, preparing for the upcoming freakout.

“Tacos?!” Sonata exclaims with the excitement of a puppy, forcing herself out of my arms. “I have to change!” she tells both of us before running off towards her room, presumably going to find her taco pajamas.

“You can’t bring Mr. Thompson,” I call after her right before she slams her door shut. I would hate trying to clean grease stains out of her favorite stuffed animal. Slowly turning my gaze to Aria, both of us look at each other for a quiet moment. Nothing but silence passes between us before I get the nerve to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Aria. For what I said. I didn’t mean it.” Aria chuckles at my statement before giving me a smirk, slowly giving me a thumbs up.

“It’s whatever.” Getting up from the couch, Aria grabs her notebook and walks towards the hallway, stopping in front of me.

“It’s whatever? What does that mean exactly?” Seriously, what in the hell does that mean? Does it mean it doesn’t matter anymore? She doesn’t care? Or does my apology not matter.

“God, Adagio. You really are out of touch,” Aria tells me with a laugh before walking towards her room. Out of touch. With younger people, I suppose, but was I ever “in touch” with my own generation? No. Not really. I never had the chance to make friends. I always tried to take care of them instead. Even before I was providing for them, I was a bitch to everyone else.

Shaking my head, I walk towards the kitchen, thinking about the limited materials I have to make tacos. At least I can try to help Aria and Sonata make friends…

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Clicking my pen rhythmically, I try to think carefully about the numbers on the page. I asked Aria to take Sonata to bed, even though she probably wanted to text some of her friends. She took care of the dishes as well, so I can’t help but feel thankful for her. I’m still wondering why Aria has this change of attitude right now, but I’m not going to complain about it. Tonight, I have to finish the rest of my bills and taxes. That means I have to calculate just how much I owe all together… It’s a good thing that I’m pretty smart when it comes to these things. Just because I acted like a bitch back in school doesn’t mean I ignored my classes… Unfortunately, everything has been getting more expensive lately. All while my wage has stayed the same… If this keeps up, I may have to get a second job. I’m not sure how I will do it though… That would practically mean I wouldn’t be able to put Sonata to bed and I would have to leave for work well before dawn. God, I would barely be able to see the two of them…

But I guess that’s a sacrifice I would have to make, right? Not only do I have to pay these taxes, but I also need to find a way to afford our food and get their medication. Aria has to take insomnia medication and Sonata needs her anti-allergen pills. If I remember correctly, she’s allergic to certain types of paint and wild grass… Of course, the doctor told me she should be on these pills pretty much all the time to avoid a severe allergic reaction. This means I have two prescriptions that need to be refilled every month, but they’re not covered by our insurance… This society loves to fuck me over, doesn’t it? Someone like me, just trying to provide for their sisters.

“Two thousand,” I whisper to myself, writing down the number on a notebook paper I’ve been using to calculate everything. “Plus the two hundred for the water bill…” God… How could it be this much? With how much everything's adding up, I’m not sure I can… afford everything… I suppose I could skip another couple of meals over the month? But that wouldn’t save a lot… The only thing I can do is cut something out. Something substantial. But everything on this list seems essential…? Other than…

Marking out a line on the page, a heavy sigh exits my lips. I was really needing that, but it would save us a couple hundred dollars… I could always try to reschedule for later in the year, right? A dentist’s appointment can wait… As long as the girls get their teeth checked, mine can wait. Hopefully, I won’t have to make another cost cutting action like that…

Putting the paper down, I lean forward and place my face in my hands. No matter how much I try to avoid it, my heart stings. Every corner I turn, there’s another thing I need to sacrifice just so they can get the things they need. I’ve already given up a lot of my meals, worked overtime and even denied myself anything that might give me a little joy. Now I have to cancel my dentist appointment… Life is so… unfair. Taking a deep breath, I try to keep my wall up, feeling a couple tears fall into the palms of my hands. I wouldn’t take a thing back, but… I just wish I could have something. It’s been so long since I’ve smiled for myself. Not for the sake of Aria or Sonata. Not putting on a mask to keep everyone else happy. I would love to have a cherry cheesecake again. I would love to go to a theme park or go ice skating, but… that’s simply not an option. I can’t afford it.

I don’t deserve it… Maybe that’s what life is telling me… At this point, I can’t keep the tears from flowing, trying my best to keep my sobs down. The last thing I would want is to wake them up with my cries… They don’t need to worry. They don’t deserve to have that responsibility put on their shoulders. It’s my job to worry… I have to be the one to worry about them and keep us safe. It’s my job…

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Sliding a bottle of headache relief towards the back of the shelf, I try to avoid the urge to sigh at the pharmacy’s choice of music. The song playing currently is a hard rock rap song, grinding on my nerves easily. I don’t dislike rap, but the music is so loud and fast-paced, it sounds like a shredding static. That’s not music… Music is a composition of notes, lyrics, and with some sort of message behind it. Rap can be music, despite popular belief. Almost any medium can be music if it’s done correctly, but when it sounds like the composer doesn’t know the difference between a F-sharp and a B-flat, then it’s hard to take the song seriously. Honestly, the tune makes it sound like the writer was tone deaf. Music classes were probably my favorite subjects back in high school… Regardless, the song gets on my nerves…

Pushing the cart down the aisle a little more, I put some vitamin supplements on the top shelf. Those things get sold out so quickly… Even though they aren’t approved by the FDA, they are supposedly a miracle drug to help you get healthier and stay energized. Honestly? I don’t buy it. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Grabbing another few pill bottles, I put them on the bottom shelf, finding it awfully ironic that’s where the back pain pills go. Who in their right mind designed this structure? Making people who are already dealing with back pain have to bend down just to get medicine to help them. I’ve had quite a few days where my back hurt and I would have enjoyed the relief. Unfortunately, I can’t quite afford to spend money on things such as headache relief or back pain medicine.

“Um, excuse me?” a feminine voice says from my side, making me look over towards the source. Standing beside me is a woman with fiery hair, her cyan eyes locking with mine and greeting me with a kind smile. “Hey, I don’t know if you remember me, but-”

“Sunset, right? The weird girl,” I say with a chuckle, instantly remembering the last time I had talked to this woman. It was over a week ago that I met her, but her impression certainly stuck with me.

“Well, yeah,” Sunset responds with a giggle of her own, seemingly finding my joke funny. “Although, I’m sorry I was weird the last time we saw each other. I could have sworn I met you somewhere, that’s all.”

“You thought we had met in high school,” I tell her while restocking a few electric blankets before looking at her again. “What can I help you with today, Sunset?”

“Oh! Well, I was actually kind of wondering where the wrist braces are? I’m not exactly used to this store and all.” Raising my eyebrow, I can’t help but take a look at her arms, making sure her wrists are alright.

“Is your wrist injured? They look fine to me,” I say quietly, realizing I’m talking more personally to her. I should be addressing her questions like an employee.

“No no, I just sprain my wrist kind of often with the job I have, so I thought it might help if I got myself a new wrist brace, you know?” Sunset tells me with a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of her head. Huh. I wonder what her job is…

“Yeah, follow me,” I tell her with a smile, abandoning my supply cart to lead her to the wrist braces. Walking down a few aisles, my eyes scan the shelves, admittedly unfamiliar with the aisle. The store had just reorganized everything within the last three days, so the new location of the wrist braces isn’t exactly fresh to me. I know they’re in this aisle, but what shelf they’re on alludes me. Spotting the item, a smile comes to my lips, grabbing the small box and handing it to Sunset. “Here you go. One wrist brace. If you need two, don’t try to hustle us. My boss is very strict about that,” I tell her with a wink, causing her to chuckle at my joke. I’m not usually this chatty with customers. Nor do I tell them jokes, but I guess I can relate to her a little bit.

“Thank you so much~ This will really help with any sprains I get in the future,” Sunset tells me with a bigger smile, my eyes focusing on her happy expression.

“It’s my pleasure. I’m always here to help,” I tell her with a slight bow, making her laugh again before I turn around, walking away from the strange woman. Honestly, it’s sort of… fun to see her laugh. For some stupid reason. She’s still strange, but it’s still nice to talk to someone.

“Hey, Adagio…?” I hear her call to me, making me look back at the fiery-haired woman. Her eyes are filled with hesitation, but she nervously chuckles, walking towards me. “I know this may sound stupid, but… do you maybe want to hang out sometime? As friends…?” Sunset fidgets with her body, clearly nervous to ask me that. “I’m sorry for being so forward. I was just wondering.” Friends, huh…? I haven’t had a friend since high school… Even then, those were fake friendships. I was a manipulative liar and they didn’t stick by me. Ever since then, I haven’t hung out with anyone or talked to anyone personally. I’m used to being alone, but… this strange woman never fails to surprise me. We’ve only met twice and she wants to be my friend.

Normally, I would reject her offer and go about my day, but… for some reason, I don’t want to refuse. “Why not?”