• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 4th, 2016

RavensDagger


T

Don't read this, it was my first fic. No really, don't.

Old Elements return to wreck havoc on Equestria as the mane six learn about the vanity of war and the strife of hatred.

The Elements were summoned to protect the lands of Equestria from a great evil. Now The Elements have themselves endangered this land. Princess Luna calls upon the aid of a friend one thousand years lost to help her reunite the army of Equestria as well as six mares to fight against forces that threaten the balance and safety of Equestria.

As three opposing forces come to battle with Equestria, the land and its ponies change and face the evil tat is war for the first time in centuries.


Author:
-RavensDagger

Edited by:
-Jelfes
-Ben Gibson
-TheWattsMan
-Dublio
-Faintpony

Cover Art:
http://equestria-prevails.deviantart.com/

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 82 )

Element of gluttony?

87257
Read more you'll find out...

87413
Thank you.
Glad you liked it.:twilightsmile:

This is my first fic (ever). I'd appreciate any and all thoguhts on it. (Really, anything. Good or bad.) I want to improve on my writing abilities to one day be able to write all the silly thoughts that circle around my head day and night.

Thank you all for reading!

huh cool story

Ice

Nice story and shit just hit the fan

Ice

87518 dude how does it take you 5 minutes to read a chapter?

87635 Glad you like it so far! Adding chapters 6 and 7 (or is it 7 and 8?)

of and Ice, it gets worse.

Author note:

Bad place to put it huh?

Oh well, this is to warn/remind everypony that this is my first fic ever (no really EVER) and that any comments /tips/advice/pointing-out-of-errors would be hugely appreciated.

Thanks a bunch fellow bronies! You can expect a chapter a day for a little while, then I'll slow down a tad because I am not able to opperate without sleep!

Allons-y!

good story. and yeah story is good not much to say. i cant criticize sorry i still learning the basics but i can say your doing good.

88238

Thank you very much mate! :twilightsmile:

I'll be going through some heavy editing all weak so parts might suddenly change (hopefully for the better :twilightsheepish: )

Guilt hit him hard. He could have hit her. Maybe he scared her, maybe she was mad at him. The thought of her angry, or worse, -scarred-, drove him to tears. He took off suddenly. Leaving all his equipment behind. He flew straight like the arrow he had just fired. Gaining more and more altitude until he could hardly breath, yet even this was not punishment enough, his mind told him. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. He could pay her back life for life. A small smile crept unto his face as he closed his wings and dropped to his death all the way to the rocky hillside.

Should be "scared"

still cool. and one thing those new guards will be the mane six personal guards am i right?

92167
Fixed, fixed and fixed thank you for pointing these out mate!:twilightsheepish:

I hate editing.:facehoof:

92204
Personal guard? Why have a guard when you can have an army? :twilightsmile:

More chapters later this week. (I am at chapter 20 atm) they just need to go through basic editing which takes a while.

87267
From that comment I'm a;ready hooked.

boring

106162

Why thank you.

If you don't have any constructive criticism to give me you might as well not comment. :facehoof:

Its not that I mind you telling me that my work is bad. Far from it. This is my first real piece of writing, I will take any and all advice given to me and be very happy. No, its that you insult me with a single word without even bothering to back it up a little. Have a wonderful day.:twilightsmile:

I'm curious to see how you can create a balance with 15 Elements. I believe we can safely see that Harmony and Dispute are meant to balance each other naturally with their 5 vs 5 stance but then we add in the 5 Elements of Balance which oddly enough seems to throw off the balance. There has to be something with the Elements and how they balance each other that's missing at the moment. I must admit this is a little annoying having this information that is largely number based at the moment and it doesn't really add up. If each Element is basically a 1 for all purposes then things are naturally uneven if all the Elements are forced to take sides. One side will have 8 while the other will have 7. Of course that's only if the Elements are based on a 1 to 1 ratio of balancing each other.

It could be far more difficult. We know Light and Dark balance each other and such have equal value. What if they tried to balance Light with Magic instead? Would it still be considered balanced since it's 1 Element vs 1 Element or would one side need more? Would Magic be able to balance Light alone or would it need help to do so? What if Magic was too much to balance Light?

My inner Twilight sees this and can't help but go :twilightangry2: just because she's missing info to make all this make sense.

108316
I gave this quite a bit of thought, don't worry

\/minor spoilers\/
The Elements of Balance work both ways or neither. They are 'free' to pick a side at any time. Hence their name. Also the Elements don't neccesaraly carry the same weight. The Element of light for example is mostly likely stronger than any of the mane 6 (Or possibly all of them) being that it has been in use for a much longer time.

Thank you for the intelligent comment by the way.:twilightsmile:

^minor spoilers^

Something is a brew in the land of the Griffins.

:twilightoops:As a note to all those reading this; I will be changing parts of the story through the night [Friday the 6th]. I have recieved a list of changes and suggestions to make in order to improve my story.

Sorry for any inconvenience that It may pose to any and all. Hopefully the story will be much better after the re-write.:twilightsmile:

Gluttony strikes again.

Element of Jealousy, most likely.

Good story. I would've made it far less obvious that the goblet was poisoned. Reminds me of the scene from 'The Court Jester' with the poisoned chalice of malice.

88225

I don't believe you! It's too good to be your first fic ever. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

113538

Thank you very much.:twilightsmile: I won't take all of the credit for myself, I have a wonderful editor and two great pre-readers that incesently point out the multitude of mistakes I make. (You should see the pre-edited versions:twilightoops:)

Its still far from perfect :twilightblush:

700!? :twilightoops: Wow, I never hoped for that much succes when I started writting this. You can be sure thet I'll keep the chapters rolling.

Thanks to all the readers!:twilightsmile:

Wow. Gripping. Very interesting and a very unexpected turn of events.

I see what you're doing. You are making opposites of the elements of harmony. Pride was the opposite of.... well i dont know but gluttony (or greed dunno yet i havn't read on) was opposite of Rarity's element, Genorosity. Very clever. Very clever indeed:derpytongue2:

115651

Almost but not quite. They are not perfect opposites to each other (they don't have equivalents) but you did understand the general idea.:twilightsheepish:

I was called clever today :twilightsheepish: My day is made, Thank you very much good sir.

awesome bro keep it going

Just noticed moments ago that I had placed the wrong chapter in the slot for chapter ten. -10 and 12 were the exact same- It is now fixed and the real chapter ten is now in it's place. Sorry of the inconvenience.:twilightoops:

MFW when Zodiac Knights :rainbowkiss:

Dat pic. Where did you get it?

121243
http://equestria-prevails.deviantart.com/

Equestria Prevails, he's an excellant artist (He aslo gave me the permission to use the pic if your wondering.)

As always if you spot a mistake could you be so kind as to point it out? Please and thank you.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Damnit, another fic where Trixie is given a few paragraphs of developlement and then killed off -_-
Ah well, otherwise good read!

122645
To spoil or not to spoil...

(She lives)

┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)
Oh, woopsie >_>

122694
All good, I too dislike characters that are introduced suddenly just to have them die (although it can be done artfully, and really belt out the emotions at times.):twilightsheepish:

Re-writting chapter 13 atm... next version will be better.

Nation-righteous sacrifice. In order to make his people live again... Tough choice. Live and disband or die and unite.

Omg. The seven deadly sins! This is getting really good all of a sudden.

113512
Nope, thats envy. Every one wants her to acknowledge them. They want her to noticed them. The people around envy those who she has attention to and will do everything to see the bearer happy.

125062

Jealousy and Envy are the same thing.

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