INSURANCE! a Grumpy Goat >tail<

by De Writer

Chapter 16

Inside, with a nearly diabolical grin, Princess Luna took a place behind the serving line and dished up a large bowl of butterscotch ice cream topped by butterscotch sauce. The ice cream was flanked by two bananas, each split lengthwise and crisp sweet crackers. Celestia looked like she was visiting heaven as she happily spooned up her goodies!

There were substantial tubs of all of our other flavors too. I personally saw to it that Reverend Smallflower got a nice selection of flavors. I was surprised to see Windy taking orders and serving along side Clarence and I. Luna, after her prank with Celestia, had retired with a substantial plate of assorted flavors.

Twilight was trying to take only small portions but Clarence would not hear of it. “Help yourself, my dear Princess, I promise that you will not suffer for it!”

Looking up to his nicely polished bones, she grinned, “I guess that you really can make that promise, can’t you?” And started trying all the flavors.

She settled on a big sundae of chocolate, mint and apple. With crisp sweet wafers to scoop it up. And topped by chocolate sauce.

With things going well, we took Luna, Caramel and Windy into the back and started to teach them the ins and outs of our ice cream and sauce recipes. That actually went pretty fast. They were all expert cooks already and learning the tricks of making these ice creams and sauces went quickly. They did actually take notes, except for Princess Luna, who has an absolutely perfect memory.

When we emerged from the lesson, carrying the new big tubs of ice cream, we saw something that nearly made me drop the tub that I was carrying! Luna’s Guard had taken places at the serving tables and were scooping out nice big balls of all the ice creams! One was drizzling the sauces over the bowls of ice cream. Besides those, there was one who was filling Rom style edible cones with a goodly scoop and dipping them into caramel or chocolate sauces as requested!

When she saw what the Guard was doing, the delighted Princess Luna leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Midnight’s Munchies has something new! Thank you, Grumpy!”

I overheard the one filling the edible cones saying to his Major, “You were right, Sir! Being in Luna’s Guard is not like anything that I have ever heard of before! Fun, too!”

We all had a great time. I overheard Princess Luna speaking to the Major, “That was very well done and appreciated but not in your orders. Why did you do it?”

“Simple, really, Princess. I have been in your Guard for nine years. When you are Rom, you cook and serve like any other. What is needed, you do. When you all went into the back to learn the making of these treats, there was no pony to serve them. So, following what I have seen, we stepped in and did what was needed. Glad that you liked it.”

“It was worthy of a unit commendation, Major, and you shall have it.”

Altogether, it was a fun interlude. I was sorry to see them all go when things wound down. At least the clean up was easy. Clarence sort of waived a hoof and those dishes and the like that we were saving were neatly cleaned and properly stowed away. The rest was simply vanished.

Clarence laid a reassuring hoof on my shoulder as he told me, “Don’t worry, Grumpy. The left over ice cream is safely stowed in a cold chest in the back room. There should be enough to last us for weeks . . . Or maybe only a few days! That is good stuff. The only flavor that we have none of is the butterscotch!”

He added, with a fleshless but very obvious grin, “I packed it and the butterscotch toppings for Celestia to take with her! Want to place a bet that none of it will get all the way to Canterlot castle?”

“No, my friend. I do not prefer to take or make sucker bets!”

After a “restful” night haunted by nightmares of an enraged mob of unicorn supremacists burning my home! Seeing years of study toward a degree devoured by greedy flames! The beatings as I escaped with only one book of my whole library! Being stoned cobbles pried from the street! The scent of my burned and broken flesh, fur, and bone! The howls of a wolf answered by a second!

The wolves driving off the mob! Taking me to the safety of Peanut Brittle’s apartment. The gentle care as I healed. Watched over by the good palomino pony and both of the werewolves who saved me, Caramel Treat and Fangrin.

Compulsive study of the one book that I saved, the NECRONOMIPONY for a class of abnormal psychology. The triumph when I finally got a non Equine spell to light a candle! The spiral from pain to hate fueling my deep study of some very dark things.

And the gentle hoof of Clarence, Lord of the Dead, awakening me to a new day!

I wandered quietly down to Ponyville, happily licking away at an edible cone of mixed chocolate and mint flavors of ice cream! I settled my self into a seat at Caremel Treat’s Sweets and opened the Ponyville Prancer for the early news.

While awaiting my order for breakfast, I happily scanned the Obituaries. From my particular point of view, the news could hardly be better! There were already nine of the twenty who wanted their original looks restored whose contracts were fulfilled!

I was just tucking into my alfalfa omelet with thick sliced toast drenched in melted butter and honey and a big pot of Rom black tea when my good mood was severely strained. Nox Eous stomped up to my table.

He demanded, “Give me some of that breakfast and a refund on my contract!”

I looked up to his ugly visage and retorted, “No and no! If you want breakfast, order your own.” I underlined the point by taking bites from both slices of toast, the omelet and pouring more tea, which I sipped from.

Sour of voice, he gripped, “You cheated me! That contract was supposed to make me rich! All those stocks I got is worthless! There is problems with those Estates so I can’t make any money off them. His damn accounts only had, like twenty bits in them!”

I shrugged and went on quietly eating, only pausing to ask, “How come you are out of jail so quick?”

Nox snarled, “I pleaded guilty, saying that I was upset over Noxon’s death. I had to pay a β500gold fine and they let me go. I went to Sir Snobbin Realty and they tell me that I can’t even put the estates up for sale until EQNB is restructured.”

After mopping up my plate with the last of the excellent toast, I leaned back and sipped my tea slowly and with relish. Had to admit that I was looking forward to what was coming.

I paid Windy, while Peanut looked on with a smile. I made a point of putting my tip directly into her care, rather than leave it on the table. As I did, I commented, “Some ponies are so rude that they would swipe money left on the table for you.”

To Nox, I invited, “Let’s go to the Hall of Records. They have both Noxon’s will and our contract. They can connect us to one of the Ponyville judges for an opinion. Then you will have an impartial decision about whether you are due a refund.”