Keeping Cool

by Uh-hmmm

First Person POV

I am Twinkleshine and I am regretting moving to Manehattan. Nopony I know plays Bestiary Battler, the local game shop is in the attic of an incense store, and some blue goo just dripped onto my couch. I look up and see part of the ceiling of my apartment bulging out like a teat, a drop of goo gathering at the bottom. Bucking perfect. I fetch the mop bucket and place it under the drip. I look up and frown at the ceiling teat. It'll probably hold for a bit.

I march out the door, determined to give my upstairs neighbor the business. It feels like stepping out into an oven, the summer sun beating down mercilessly. I sigh and trudge up the stairs, panting a little as I get to the top. Maybe I should go for a jog more often...or at all. I knock on the door and step back, hoping it's not another "gifted" student performing an unregistered summoning. The door opens with a blast of refreshingly cold air.

"Yes?"

I look up at the source of that pleasantly deep sound. It's an oddly flat-faced minotaur bull, with a coat so thin that I can see his pale skin easily. I swallow nervously.

"Well, sir, I think you might have a leak that's dripping into my apartment."

He raises his eyebrows.

"Oh? Well, come in, let's not let all the cold air out."

I nod and trot inside, trying not to huff the male scent that gently pervades the apartment. As the door closes behind me, it occurs to me that this place is as cold as a griffin's meat locker. I’m fine, as a mountain-bred unicorn, but I can't imagine my host is, considering the thinness of his coat. I step into the living room and pause at the sight of an industrial cooling engine I recognize from visiting an ice cream factory. The bull chuckles as he walks past me.

"It's a little excessive, I know, but I like staying cool. Now, about where is the leak coming through?"

I trot to join him as he sidles behind the tubes of the cooling engine. It's a little odd that his upper body is so unusual, yet his legs are normal, foal-chasing, delicious- Focus, Twinkleshine.

"Closer to the corner, if I recall correctly."

He stops and I find my directions are unnecessary. One of the coolant tubes is poorly sealed to the port on the main body of the engine, a slow trickle of goop running down the side and pooling on the floor. The bull sighs at the sight, running his slender hand through his short-cropped mane.

"I'm going to need a mechanic to fix this, aren't I?"

I shake my head.

"No need, let me get it."

He turns to me, a frown of confusion on his face. I decide to show off a little. I use my magic to unscrew the ring cap from around the tube. It pops off with a metallic "ping" as the tension of being screwed on poorly is released. Meanwhile, my telekinesis holds the coolant in as I reinsert the tube mouth onto the port. Then it's merely a matter of screwing the ring cap back on and basking in a bull's gratitude. He laughs in delight.

"Well, that is a lot cheaper than what I had in mind. Thank you- uh, I don't think I got your name."

I back up as he climbs out from behind the cooling engine.

"I'm Twinkleshine, nice to meet you."

He reaches out and shakes my hoof, his hand pleasantly cool.

"Anon and likewise. I should really clean the puddle before it dries, and you probably have my half in the ceiling too. How about once we're done, I cook us some dinner to make up for the mess and we can get to know each other properly?"

Cool air, stallion-cooked food, and charming company? I beam at Anon.

"I'd love that."

Summer in Manehattan might not be as bad as I was expecting.

As I get to talking, I find out that he came from the northern lakes of Labyrinthia. I still can't believe cows still dive into the ice-cold lake water as a test of courage and fortitude before their winter wrap-up. Sure, it impresses the bulls and shows off hard nips on the cows' teats, but every year a hoofful of them die under the ice. The conversation shifts towards my specialty. He's suitably impressed with my degree in thaumaturgical engineering, as well as the complexity of the manaform of the train engine I designed. After a refreshing cucumber and spinach salad with a salty and creamy dressing, I sprawl on his couch as he practically melts into a beanbag chair. I can't help but wonder if part of the reason he likes it this cool in his home is to see my nips harden. The rush of arousal at the thought keeps me nice and warm as I chat with him. I sigh.

"That really hit the spot. I really liked the ranch dressing, could you tell me the recipe?"

He crosses his arms under his chin and smirks at me.

"It's just store bought with a secret ingredient added."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Oh? What is it?"

He snorts.

"It wouldn't be a secret if I told you."

I give him a teasing smile.

"In that case, I'll have to keep coming to dinner until I figure it out."

He winks.

"You're welcome to try."

---

For the next month or so, I come by every evening to eat dinner and chat with my charming upstairs neighbor. After Imposing on him like that, I offer to pick up some of the grocery shopping and he is happy to accept. I also get some ranch dressing of my own to experiment with. I don't try too hard to replicate the recipe, but it's a fun little hobby to mess with while my bestiary battler cards gather dust. I even bring Anon some of my odd successes to try, like mixing in pickle brine. Meanwhile, Anon somehow got his hands on a genuine Cloudsdale thermal sink. The thing's horribly complicated, with parts that took months to arrive, but he's deliriously happy about getting it running. I can't blame him, it's barely the size of a beach ball, fits into the light crystal socket, and has a tube running to the oven to save on both heating and cooling energy. He sold off his old cooling unit, freeing up an entire third of the living room.

Though I have to work with the landlady to levitate that monster out of the apartment building. All Aboard used to work in a dry dock before a bad cargo fall chipped her horn, and she retired to property management. If I am being honest, she intimidates me. The grizzled gray mare has a horn as girthy as a stallion's... if a few span shorter. Her magic is supporting most of the weight of the cooling unit as I maneuver it around the door, railing, and stairs. Even with the lighter burden, I am panting and sweating by the time the two of I get it out onto the corner for the buyer to pick up. Aboard slaps my withers and chuckles.

"A good workout, right Twink?"

I laugh tiredly.

"And then some. The last time I worked my magic this hard, I was defending my master's thesis."

She nods, quiet for a moment.

"Listen..."

I look at her wry face.

"I really appreciate you being there for him. He's been isolating himself for a long time, and it warms my heart to see a good, honest mare like you looking out for him."

I blush at the praise.

"It's nothing, if anything he's helping me out and keeping me company just as much. And well... the scenery isn't bad."

The landlady guffaws.

"Honest, I like that! I'd have made a move myself, if he weren't my tenant! Colt looks good, for all that he's my age."

I blink rapidly.

"Your age? But he can't be more than twenty, right?"

All Aboard shrugs.

"Snub-faced bulls look young for decades. He looks much the same now as when he moved in a good twenty some odd years ago."

My mind reels at the idea. I always thought he was a little younger than I, he has the whimsy and flirtatious manner of a younger stallion. Not that his age puts me off, really, it just comes as a shock. Though part of me is a little disappointed at the smaller chance that I'd be his first time. I ignore it as best I can, I'd still be incredibly lucky to have him.

---

The thermal sink works like a charm, and there doesn't seem to be any tainting of the flavor of cookies baked with the heat it strips from the air. I’m looking forward to basking in that frigid air while I trot back from the office. The griffin client kept changing the specs for my airship engine prototype to fulfill. It was frustrating, designing and redesigning, but I got it done, even if I don't really have the mana to teleport right now. Then a strong tremor shook the ground, sending poorly secured windows shattering across the city. I frown, glad nothing fell on me, and wait for the aftershocks. But there was nothing for ten minutes as I shuffled along the street. Looking at a crystal display, the news bulletin tells me why. Apparently, the Elements defeated some mole monster in Ponyville before it could shake the country apart. I shake my head and start trotting faster towards home. Anon should be okay, but he's a tall guy, so a fall would still be bad.

As I expected, none of the windows to his apartment broke, too firmly sealed to get rattled. I knock on his door. To my relief, I hear him moments later.

"Shine?"

I smile.

"Hey Anon, you doing alright?"

His voice is muffled as he talks through the door.

"I'm fine, but the thermal sink fell. Luckily the heat was contained, but it isn't absorbing anymore."

I frown.

"That's not great. I know it cost you more than a few bits, are you thinking of downgrading?"

Anon sighs.

"Not yet. I ordered the replacement parts, so it should be up and running again soon enough."

I nod.

"That's good at least. Is it alright if I come in?"

Anon is oddly silent for a long moment.

"No...no, I don't want to let the cold air out, especially if I have a few months until I can cool it again."

I smile and shake my head at how passionate he is about staying as cool as possible.

"I'm a unicorn, I could just teleport inside."

The response is immediate.

"No! No, that won't be necessary, besides, another body warming up the place..."

My chest aches at that refusal. I know I haven't asked him to be my coltfriend yet, but I thought I was closer than this.

"Then I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Later, Shine. And thanks for checking on me."

---

As weeks turned into a month, I start to suspect there is a reason why Anon is currently single. He has me teleporting groceries and mail into his apartment, but always refuses me going in myself. I'd feel more used than I am, if he wasn't still making dinner for the both of us, though I have to teleport it from a small table by the door. And while I can still chat with him through the door, speaking loudly in the summer heat really isn't something I can do for as long as I like. And then one day, I bring him bad news. Today's mail came with a message from Cloudsdale Thaumaturgics. The tessothermostat that was supposed to be shipped today was requisitioned by a nationalized factory due to a ball lightning accident. I pop the mail in and call out.

"Anon, looks like there was a delay on the parts. Want me to get you a cheap unit to tide you over until things work out?"

There is a long moment of silence, then he replies.

"Yes, that would be best. I'll leave the bits for it on the tray. Get the best you can find for the price. And thank you for doing this, I really can't imagine going out in the heat like this."

I shake my head ruefully as I collect the bag of bits with a pop of spatial dislocation. Who knew northern bulls would be so sensitive to temperature? Though maybe he has some compulsion about not getting sweaty. That... might complicate things later, but it's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it.

"You're welcome Anon. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Lugging back the Winter Wind 2000 has me sweating my teats off, foamy sweat slopping off onto the street. It's not as big as the cooler before the thermal sink, but it's still pretty heavy. Not to mention I need to save as much mana as possible to teleport it inside. I levitate it up to Anon's door. I get there a few minutes later, taking the time to catch my breath and discard the foamy sweat clinging to my coat. Finally, I knock on the door.

"Anon, ready for the new unit?"

Silence. I knock louder and a little longer.

"Anon?"

I am starting to get worried. I pound on the door. Still no answer. All Aboard teleports nearby with a bang. Celestia, but that mare has a lot of mana. She scowls, but when she sees me, her look softens.

"What's going on?"

I frown.

"Anon asked me to get this for him less than an hour ago, but he's not answering. I'm going to teleport in, I think something's wrong."

The landlady nods, her horn flaring with purple light. With loud crack, the two of us appear in Anon's living room, the carpet wet and cool. I shake my head.

"Did the silly bull just spill water everywhere to get cool?"

All Aboard doesn't comment, merely stalking into the hall and calling out, "Anon!"

I follow her, checking the laundry room and the kitchen. The gray mare announces, "He's not in his bedroom."

I get a sinking feeling as I go to the last place he could be. I crack open the door to the bathroom.

"Anon, are you there?"

No answer. I nudge it open and step inside, All Aboard close behind. No blood on the sink or anything, so him taking a bad fall isn't likely. I tug the shower curtain to the side and freeze. Anon smiles sheepishly at me from the tub, water lapping at his now blue skin, his fishlike tail curled up to fit in the tub. All Aboard stares at him in bewilderment.

"What in Tartarus?"

I smile down at him, my heart beating like mad. I always wanted a monsterhusbando.

"Anon is a Silky, a cold-weather shape shifter, which drag off unsuspecting cows and mares to watery graves."

Anon shakes his head.

"It's a misunderstanding. We actually have a long tradition of wife-stealing."

All Aboard frowns and looks to me.

"Should we call the guard, or what?"

I shake my head.

"Hey Aboard, did you know that in terms of mare and monstercolt breeding, silkies are the most compatible monster for ponies?"

Comments

[Arlan753]

Read it on 4chan, love the ending

[The Ancestor]

Fucking golden.

First I thought the twist will be Lovecraft's Cold Air, but its even better.

[shadow wolf1573]

Pretty funny

[Vaguely Demented]

Think he would set up in whatever the pony equivalent of Alaska or Minnesota is.

[quakeSanchez]

Wow, very nice!

[Bookwurm666]

No answer. I nudge it open and step inside, All Aboard close behind. No blood on the sink or anything, so him taking a bad fall isn't likely. I tug the shower curtain to the side and freeze. Anon smiles sheepishly at me from the tub, water lapping at his now blue skin, his fishlike tail curled up to fit in the tub. All Aboard stares at him in bewilderment.

Up until this point I was expecting the H.P. Lovecraft route of anonymous being undead and maintaining himself through the AC. I think there was a Lovecraft story like that.