• Published 1st Aug 2022
  • 4,386 Views, 440 Comments

Why not? Sure. I'll Marry You. - HAKDurbin



When princess and pop singer Pipp Petals discovered her fiancée has been cheating on her moments before their wedding, she decided to marry Sheriff Hitch who is holding a "Marry Me" sign in the crowd.

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Chapter 2

Author's Note:

Before you begin reading, I’d like to give a little clarification on this chapter. For those of you who don’t know, there was a “Name This Pony” thing on Equestria Daily, where fans gave names to the background characters that appeared in the movie. So, this chapter, and likely future chapters, will have background ponies addressed with the names given to them. Here’s a link to the article:  Equestria Daily - MLP Stuff!: Name This Pony - Naming Background Ponies From My Little Pony a New Generation - Results!

With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Hitch Trailblazer loved seeing ponies in Maretime Bay smile. As the sheriff, it was his duty to uphold the law and maintain the peace in the seaside town. For as long as he could remember, maintaining the peace meant supporting laws against unicorns and pegasi and Canterlogic creating products to fight against them run by the company's owner, Phyllis Cloverleaf.

When Sunny, whom Hitch had been friends with since they were foals, returned to Maretime Bay saying unicorns and pegasi had no magic apart from the pegasi royal family, Hitch was skeptical like many ponies. Citizens demanded that he arrest Sunny for her claims, putting HItch in an awkward position. Luckily, when other ponies backed up Sunny's claims, and all three pony kinds became friends, Hitch could abolish the laws against interacting with unicorns and pegasi, keeping Sunny from jail.

As time passed, Hitch found friendship between earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi rather pleasant. Some ponies, like his deputy, Sprout, were still unsettled, particularly when unicorns and pegasi began living in Maretime Bay. Still, Hitch felt his town had become a much better place now that earth ponies learned having a horn or wings was no more dangerous than having a birthmark, glasses, or facial hair.

But while many earth ponies in Maretime Bay developed close relationships with the unicorns and pegasi, Hitch didn't attempt to befriend any. He had many admirers among mares from all three pony kinds, but he didn't interact with many ponies as a friend apart from Sunny and Izzy. It wasn't that he still had prejudice or fear against unicorns and pegasi. He valued the new citizens in his town as if they were born and raised in Maretime Bay, but at the end of the day, he was nothing more than a friendly face of the law for the civilians, earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi alike.

Hitch was walking to the sheriff's office to start the day on the morning of the third to last day before Pipp and Presto's wedding. As he greeted ponies passing by, he noticed many were in groups listening to music on their phones. Hitch smiled as he watched them, knowing many of them were excited about the wedding. Though he never listened to Pipp or Presto's music or had a smartphone, he liked to hum to the music as he walked.

"Good morning, Sheriff Hitch."

Hitch looked to his left and saw five mares walking toward him: two earth ponies, two pegasi, and a unicorn. They looked at Hitch flirtatiously save for the unicorn, who walked with her head low. Hitch gave the mares a friendly smile, blind to the meaning behind their stares.

"Morning, Mayflower, Dahlia, Periwinkle, Wisteria Frost, Peach Melba," Hitch greeted.

The mares giggled with Periwinkle Pi, the unicorn, lifting her head for a moment to give a brief smile. Hitch noticed Peach Melba holding out her phone as the mares walked to him, playing a song made by Pipp and Presto.

"I'm guessing you ladies are looking forward to the royal wedding?" Hitch asked.

"Sure are. Wisteria and I have been Pippsqueaks for the longest time," Peach Melba said. "We're going to watch the wedding at Dahlia's since we couldn't get tickets."

Hitch smiled until he noticed Perwinkle Pi still looking very low.

“What’s eating you, Periwinkle?” he asked.

Periwinkle sighed heavily and said, “I wish Presto isn’t marrying Pipp.”

“Why’s that? I thought everypony is looking forward to the princess marrying him,” Hitch said.

“Everypony except Periwinkle. She’s been crushing on Presto since way back when he was doing gigs in Bridlewood,” Peach Melba said. “Poor dear, never got to make a move before Presto moved to ZH and met Pipp.”

It took Hitch a moment before he realized ZH stood for Zephyr Heights. Periwinkle Pi turned her head away from everypony as Mayflower explained her situation, feeling her heart ache the more her friend brought up her situation.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Periwinkle. That must be hard," he said.

Periwinkle nodded before she turned her head to Hitch.

"I get that he's really happy with the pretty princess, but I wish I could try to confess my feelings before she marries her," she said, still not looking at Hitch. “Better to be shot down in person than to watch him get married on TV.”

Periwinkle Pi’s friends looked at her sympathetically with Peach Malba turning off the music. Hitch furrowed his brow until he gently turned Periwinkle’s head to him and gave her a comforting smile.

“Hey, don’t you worry about it, Periwinkle. Even if Presto Tertracord is taken, there’s a stallion for you somewhere,” he said.

“You really think so?” Periwinkle asked.

“Absolutely,” Hitch said with confidence in his voice. “Don’t give up until Presto has tied the knot, and then learn to move on to find the guy meant for you.”

Periwinkle said nothing for a moment. Then she gave Hitch a small smile that made her friends hopeful.

"Thanks, Sheriff Hitch. I needed to hear that," he said.

Hitch smirked and posed as if he was a knight who heroically slew a vicious animal.

"Anytime. Keeping the citizens of Maretime Bay safe and happy is what I'm here for," he said. "Speaking of which, I must make my way to the station."

"Of course," Mayflower said before she suddenly hatched an idea. "Say, before you go, do you have any plans for watching the royal wedding?"

Dahlia, Wisteria Storm, Peach Melba, and Periwinkle Pi's eyes widened, and they smiled brightly, instantly figuring out what Mayflower was thinking.

"I can't say I do. I'll likely be on duty that night," Hitch said, oblivious.

"Well, if you don't have anything planned, maybe you could take a little time off duty and watch the wedding with us," Mayflower said, batting her eyelashes. "There's always room for a strong, good-looking stallion such as yourself to keep us company during get-togethers like watching a royal wedding."

"Sorry, ladies, but duty calls," Hitch said.

The mares' cheerful faces were replaced with unamused looks.

"You always say that," Mayflower said. "Every time any pony asks to do anything with you, you're always busy being the sheriff."

"Not every time. I hang out with Sunny and Izzy," Hitch said.

"You're…you're not interested in either of them…romantically. Are you?" Wisteria asked hesitantly.

"No, of course not. Sunny is my best friend, and Izzy… I don't know how that would work," Hitch said. "They're just my friends."

"Well, if you spend your free time with friends, then why not bring them with us?" Dahlia said.

Mayflower leaned into Dahlia's ear and whispered, "What are you doing? It's supposed to be just us and Hitch."

"Compromise, May. Compromise," Dahlia whispered back.

"Sorry, ladies, but when duty calls, I answer," Hitch said.

The mares' faces grew sour. Dahlia huffed as if Hitch insulted her personally.

"You know, we all adore your devotion to protecting us, but it won't hurt to spend time with the ponies that adore you rather than putting your badge first," she said.

With another "humph," Dahlia walked past Hitch with the other mares following. Hitch watched them walk away, confused, thinking the mares were being unreasonable. He shrugged it off and continued walking to the station. Two tiny seagulls and a crab were waiting for him at the front of the station. The little critters saluted and Hitch smirked.

"At ease, deputies," he said.

The critters stopped saluting, and Hitch kicked the front door open with his smirk turned into a proud grin. The critters followed behind him single-file as he went in. Inside, Sprout was on his desk staring at the ceiling without a care while leaning against his chair and drinking a smoothie.

"Good morning, station! Sheriff Hitch reporting for duty!" Hitch announced.

As soon as Sprout heard Hitch's voice, he nearly choked on his smoothie and hid it under his desk before pretending to be filing paperwork. Hitch rolled his eyes, for Sprout hardly did any paperwork when on duty. Even when he did, it was because Phyllis made him. Hitch would also have to edit Sprout's work heavily because he was very poor at spelling and grammar, as evidenced by Sprout's desk name plaque he made out of notebook paper with deputy spelled, "Depooty."

Hitch went over to his desk and happily started going through a mountain of paperwork as though he was at home sitting on a sofa reading a book. As he read the reports, he began humming the song that was playing on Peach Melba's phone. The seagulls and the crab nodded to the beat as they stood next to Hitch's desk. Sprout's left ear twitched, and he pursed his lips as he pretended to work on paperwork. Finally, Sprout huffed and looked up at Hitch.

"Hitch, could you knock it off?" he asked.

"What? What's wrong?" Hitch asked.

"You were humming one of those pegasi and unicorn pop songs. I can't stand ponies playing them all the time," Sprout said.

"Oh, come on, Sprout. The music is catchy," Hitch said. "Besides, it should die down after the wedding."

"It better. It feels like I'm watching trailers for a movie while watching my cartoons that they play for months before the movie comes out," Sprout grumbled.

Hitch sighed and said, "You know what, Sprout? I get that you're still scared that unicorns and pegasi will do something, but you don't have to be grumpy about every single thing related to them."

"Hey, I get along fine without their tea, their crystals, and their smartphones. I mean, you don't have any of those things either," Sprout said.

"Granted, but that's because I don't need to go online to interact with ponies. The citizens of Maretime Bay are all the social interaction I need," Hitch said proudly. "All I want is to see ponies laugh, smile, and have fun while I uphold the law."

Sprout huffed again. If there was one thing that got on his nerves almost as much as unicorns and pegasi living in Maretime Bay, it was how Hitch loved to express how he enjoyed doing his job. Hitch returned to working on his paperwork while Sprout begrudgingly got to work, too. The critters patiently watched Hitch work as though they were waiting for him to do something heroic.

Suddenly, just as Hitch finished his first sheet of paperwork, Sunny Starscout burst through the front doors with a wide-open smile. She was followed by Izzy bouncing behind her and humming a tune. Sprout screamed and hid under his desk, thinking the station was under attack. Hitch gave his deputy a deadpanned look.

"Hitch! Hitch, you won't believe what just happened!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Sunny, I'm on duty. You can't just burst into here unless it's an emergency," Hitch said.

"Does it count as an emergency if I want your help with something?" Sunny challenged.

Hitch raised his eyebrow. Sunny's claim of an emergency didn't match her jubilant demeanor.

"Alright, I'll bite. What's up?" he asked.

Sunny took a few deep breaths to cool down and said, "Okay, so Izzy and I were on our way to work. Right? We were just a few steps away from the lighthouse when Phyllis came running towards us."

"Mommy? What did she want from you?" Sprout asked, peeking his head from under his desk.

Izzy stepped in and said, "Well, since we don't have smartphones, your mom heard from Bubblegum McGinty, who heard from Spanner Spank, who heard from Lahara Blossom, who got a text message from Mulberry Bramble, who got a call from Sour Lavender -"

"What Izzy is trying to explain is that Phyllis came to us saying Princess Zipp was trying to get in contact with us," Sunny said.

"One of the princesses? What for?" Hitch asked.

"Well, I made figurines of Princess Pipp and Presto Tetrachord as a wedding gift, and Princess Pipp opened her gift before the wedding,” Izzy said. “When she found out that they were made by one of the ponies that brought all three ponykinds together, she -”

“She invited us to the wedding!” Sunny screamed.

Hitch, Sprout, and the critters stared at Sunny and Izzy, taken aback. After a few seconds, Hitch smiled and got off his chair to walk toward Sunny.

“Well, congratulations, Sunny. This must be a dream come true for you,” he said.

“Is it ever!” Sunny shouted. “I’m happy enough that there’s a wedding between a unicorn and a pegasus, whether it’s a royal wedding or not, but to be invited?! I wouldn’t have believed it if Phyllis hadn’t gotten me in contact with Princess Zipp, and she told me herself!”

“I’ll bet,” Hitch said. “Who’d have thought you’d get a chance thanks to Izzy making those figurines through…what do you call it again, Izzy?”

“Unicycling,” Izzy boasted.

“Wait. Hold on a second,” Sprout said as he came out of his hiding spot with a suspicious glare. “You said you need Hitch’s help with something.”

Sunny froze for a moment, then chuckled sheepishly.

"Right. So, the princess said that we each get a plus one, and I was hoping you could be mine," she said.

Hitch furrowed his brow and sighed like a parent hating to disappoint their foal.

"Sorry, Sunny, but I'm going to be on duty that night," he said.

"Come on, Hitch. It's such an important night. I want my childhood friend to be there," Sunny said.

"I can't just leave my post just for a wedding, no matter how important it is. I'm the sheriff," Hitch said.

"That's all the more reason you should go. You're the leading authority of a major pony settlement. Ponies look up to you. I'm sure the princesses and the queen would appreciate you attending the wedding," Sunny said. "Besides, what's there to do here during the wedding? More than half of Maritime Bay is heading off tomorrow to celebrate at Zephyr Heights, and the rest are going to stay at their homes to watch it. You won't need to do a thing the entire night."

"What about before that? Or after?" Hitch challenged. "It takes 2 days to get to Zephyr Heights in 2 days to get back. What if there's an emergency and I'm not there?"

"What if there isn't?" Sunny countered. "When's the last time there's been any trouble in Maritime Bay? The worst there's been for many moons was fearing for unicorns and pegasi to attack, and that's all over. We're at peace. What can happen? Someone dropped some litter?"

"Don't make fun, Sunny. You know I take violations of code 33 very seriously," Hitch said.

"And if that's as bad as it gets, Maritime Bay can survive you not being here for a few days," Sunny said.

"And what if you're wrong?" Hitch asked.

Sunny took a moment to think about it and said, "Well, if I'm wrong, then I'll never ask you to join me in something outside your jurisdiction in Maritime Bay ever again."

Hitch raised his eyebrow.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked.

Sunny smirked as she reached into her bag and took out a journal.

"I swear on my father's journal and everything about friendship among ponies in Ancient Equestria in it," she announced.

"Ooooo. She swore on her dad's journal," Izzy said as though Sunny dissed Hitch.

Hitch kept his eyebrow raised as he stared at Sunny. She was always strong-willed when it came to accomplishing her lifelong dream, but in Hitch's eyes, Sunny was growing overconfident with so many things going her way over the past several moons. He was still uneasy about leaving his hometown, thinking something could happen with him not around. Hitch considered risking it because Sunny would have to keep her word if she was wrong. He turned his gaze to Sprout and thought of the risk of leaving him in charge with his prejudice against unicorns and pegasi. After rubbing his chin in thought, he turned back to Sunny with a warning glare.

"If I hear anything of there being so much as a hint of a ruckus in my absence when we come back, you can forget me ever stepping one hoof out of town again," he said.

"Deal," Sunny said, beaming.

"Yay! We got our first plus one!" Izzy chirped.

Sprout rolled his eyes at the unicorn's cheerful attitude until something clicked in his mind, and his face lit up.

"Does this mean I'm in charge while you're gone?" he asked.

"Restrictively," Hitch said bluntly.

"Restrictively?" Sprout asked. "How can you restrictively run a town? Am I supposed to share the power with the critters?"

"Oh, no. I'm going to have your mom watch the town with you," Hitch said.

"What?! I'm supposed to be in charge with Mommy as my babysitter?!" Sprout shouted.

"As my insurance," Hitch answered calmly. "Your mom isn't hostile to unicorns and pegasi. I want her to keep you in check, so you don't start a war."

"Oh, come on. That's not fair," Sprout whined.

"I'm not trying to be," Hitch said before turning to Sunny and Izzy. "So, when do you plan on leaving?"

"Everypony who's going to Zephyr Heights will start heading there tomorrow morning, so I figure we should too," Sunny said.

"Sounds good. Who's going to be your plus one, Izzy?" Hitch asked.

Sunny and Izzy looked at each other and chuckled nervously as it hit them.

"I haven't thought about that yet," Izzy admitted. "We kinda focused on making you Sunny's plus one as soon as we got the tickets."

"Seriously?" Hitch asked with a deadpan look. "Do you have anypony in mind to be your plus one?"

Izzy blew a raspberry as though the answer was obvious.

"Of course, I do. There's, like, a gazillion ponies who would love to be my plus one, but I don't know who to choose," she said. "Practically everypony is either attending the wedding or has plans for celebrating it somewhere in Zephyr Heights or at home with friends and family. How do you choose somepony to ask to be your plus one when everypony else would want to go too? Am I right?"

"And we need to make a decision soon cause if Izzy chooses someone who didn't plan to travel to Zephyr Heights, they'll need time to get ready to leave first thing in the morning," Sunny added.

Hitch hummed in acknowledgment. He opened his mouth to wish Izzy luck in deciding until something clicked in his mind. He remembered his conversation with Mayflower, Dahlia, Periwinkle, Wisteria Frost, and Peach Melba and how Periwinkle wanted to attempt to express her feelings for Presto Tetrachord before at the wedding. On paper, bringing some pony who wants to prevent the wedding wasn't a good idea, but the odds of Periwinkle catching Presto Tetrachord's attention and instantly winning his heart were slim at best. If anything else, it seemed like a good idea since she wanted to try, and she had her friends' support.

"You know what, Izzy? I think I have a good suggestion for your plus one."