The Dangers of Personal Growth

by Silent Whisper

Employee Email Records 4

Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 3
21:54 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Supervisor Fiddlesticks
To: Courier Lightning Dust

Could you check your delivery sheet for the fertilizer you dropped off? I don’t recognize this brand or type. It’s in Kirin or something, I can’t read what it says. How much are we supposed to add to the containers?

Also, I have a surprise planned for you when you return! I’ve been practicing all cycle. Think you’ll get the chance to take a break? It should only take a few minutes.

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 3
22:09 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Courier Lightning Dust
To: Supervisor Fiddlesticks

Just clocked out for my break! If it weren’t you asking, I swear to Luna’s cratered butt I’d already be in bed and cozy. Took me a minute but I found it. Yeah, looks Kirin in origin, doesn’t it? Strange. I think it’s a new product they’re testing to increase efficiency. My advice? Don’t lick it.

And sure! I always have time for you.

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 3
22:12 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Supervisor Fiddlesticks
To: Courier Lightning Dust

That isn’t exactly helpful, Lightning! I need the instructions! I’d rather not have an entire season’s worth of poisoned plants coming out of my paycheck if I can avoid it.

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 3
22:25 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Courier Lightning Dust
To: Supervisor Fiddlesticks

Sorry, Fiddles, it’s all in Kirin. I think I can make out a zero in here, but other than that, your guess is as good as mine. You know fertilizer better than I do, and they wouldn’t send us anything too toxic without a few warning labels slapped on somewhere. Use just a little bit, put water in it, or it in water, or whatever, and see what happens. If it’s too weak, you can always add a little more when the plants grow up to be food, right?

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 3
23:36 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Supervisor Fiddlesticks
To: Courier Lightning Dust

Do you know what I enjoy, Lightning? Do you know what I love doing in my spare time? If you guessed “watering 240 rows by hoof since Missy’s irrigation tanks shouldn’t contain concentrated fertilizer for too long since I drink that recycled water and it could soak into the plastic and slowly kill me,” you’d be correct! The water levels looked a little lower than they should, by the way. Any chance you’re planning to bring another tank with you when you visit tomorrow (plus a little bit more)? They’re just seedlings, but I believe we’re going to be needing a good amount more than usual to keep them healthy when they’ve grown.

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 4
08:01 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Supervisor Fiddlesticks
To: Courier Lightning Dust

So… the fertilizer works. Very well. And that’s a situation. Any chance you could find me a Kirin-to-Equestrian translator file? Preferably soon? Very soon? Because this is either a very big anomaly that has spiraled out of all logical control, or I will need to send a very detailed email to the corporate someponies at Solar Corp regarding the success of their unannounced experiment.

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 4
08:49 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Courier Lightning Dust
To: Supervisor Fiddlesticks

Attached all the dictionaries I have to translate the fertilizer bags good luck fiddles I think one of them is in Griffon but there is a Griffon to Equestrian file somewhere in there so you can do multiple translations and count it as over time. Have fun with the plants babe. And sorry I don’t have water on my to do list but I can bring you some water bottles from the break room if you think it would help ha ha

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Cycle 47 - Summer, Day 4
10:04 Greenhouse Orbital Habitat Local Time
From: Supervisor Fiddlesticks
To: Solar Corporation Corporate Headquarters, Risk Management Team <Urgent!>

To whom it may concern,

Good morning! My name is Fiddlesticks and I am the Supervisor of the Greenhouse Orbital Station in the Sparkle System. I would like to inquire about a recent shipment of fertilizer and a larger-than-expected number of seedlings to grow for this summer season’s harvest. More specifically, the instructions for this new fertilizer, which I was not previously made aware of through any of the company’s standard methods of communication, were written in Kirin.

According to my translation, this fertilizer is supposed to grow crops significantly faster and produce a significantly higher yield than is standard! These are all positive qualities to look for in a fertilizer, and I appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me to improve my foreign language skills, but there are also, as mentioned previously, a significantly greater number of plants than there have been in previous cycles, and there were no instructions in Equestrian given regarding whether or not to test the fertilizer on a few of the plants, or all of the plants.

I can say, with absolute confidence borne from my eight cycles as supervisor of this greenhouse, that the fertilizer does exactly as it claims. The former seedlings show unquestionable signs of a far earlier harvest, and are growing larger and healthier than our AMIS system has ever accomplished!

It is my unfortunate duty to report that two maintenance bots have already broken down when the many snap pea vines that have wound their way through and between the tables caught between their wheels. Snap peas are relatively fast-growing vines, but I’m sure you can agree that the speed at which they have become difficult to manage is a clear warning sign for the other plants.

If you have any advice or input regarding dealing with this situation, I would greatly appreciate it. I would appreciate adding another container of water to the delivery schedule as soon as possible, since more plants require much more water than predicted.

Thank you for your time,
Fiddlesticks

Comments

[Bicyclette]

Could you check your delivery sheet for the fertilizer you dropped off? I don’t recognize this brand or type. It’s in Kirin or something, I can’t read what it says. How much are we supposed to add to the containers?

oof, and given that Fiddlesticks was fertilizing the plants herself, i foresee this foreshadowing a disaster!

My advice? Don’t lick it.

hehe very unhelpful

You know fertilizer better than I do, and they wouldn’t send us anything too toxic without a few warning labels slapped on somewhere.

oh yeah this is not leading anywhere good

So… the fertilizer works. Very well. And that’s a situation. Any chance you could find me a Kirin-to-Equestrian translator file? Preferably soon? Very soon?

oof, that ain't good!

and I appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me to improve my foreign language skills,

hahaha yeah, that is the closest you can get to telling Corporate that they fucked up!