No Passion

by wishcometrue

And Something to Show for It

The week after the fight was one of the hardest weeks Fiddlesticks had ever faced.

It hardly seemed fair to call it a fight, with the cruel gift of hindsight. Lightning hadn’t instigated anything, she hadn’t done anything but try to defuse things. Fiddlesticks was the one who’d blown up, who’d refused to listen to Lightning, or to reason, or…

Well, to herself.

If her little meltdown there had accomplished anything beyond ruining her only remaining friendship, it had at least forced upon her some perspective.

Truth of it all was, Fiddlesticks had been running away for a long, long time. Was easy to pretend otherwise, since she was stuck in the same house, same town, same routine, day after day, month after month, year after year. But every last bit of it was her running away from her fears, her anxieties, and herself.

She wanted to make it up to Lightning—no, she needed to. But Lightning wasn’t the first pony she needed to make things right with, for she had wronged somepony else first.

And that’s how Fiddlesticks found herself standing outside of the door for Braeburn’s office, one hoof raised, ready to knock. She took a deep breath, and did just that.

“Door’s open, you can come right on in!”

Fiddlesticks teared up a little at the sound of her brother’s voice. It had been so long, but he still sounded unmistakably undeniably him. She blinked before any tears could fall, and opened the door.

“Hey, Brae.”

Braeburn’s quill abruptly stopped its motion as he froze. Slowly he looked up, eyes wide when they confirmed that his sister really was standing there before him.

“Fiddle… I…” He shook his head and smiled that wide, goofy smile of his. “Don’t just stand there, sis, grab a seat.”

Fiddlesticks walked into the office, taking it in for the first time. Papers were piled on his desk, some in neat stacks, others in messy arrangements that one could call stacks if they were willing to use the term loosely. There was a dirty rug covering most of the floor, which was probably the source of the musty smell in the room. At least it was soft.

She sat down in one of the chairs and opened her mouth, but no words came out. She’d rehearsed this in the mirror at least ten times before showing up here, but actually being here and seeing her brother in the flesh turned all those rehearsed words to ash, leaving nothing but a bitter taste on her tongue. He deserved better than that.

With how long she spent hesitating, it was no surprise that Braeburn broke the silence. Stallion never could handle quiet when other ponies were around.

“It’s really good to see you again,” he said, voice cracking a little. He wiped his eyes, and Fiddlesticks felt herself tearing up again.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Brae, you didn’t do anythin’ wrong, movin’ out after Ma died. Wasn’t fair of me to treat you the way I did.”

“H-hey, hey now,” he stammered. “I probably could’ve timed things better, and it ain’t like you were the only one who got angry in that fight.”

“No, don’t try to take the blame. I was the stubborn fool that was too scared to face facts. Nopony forced me to stay there, I was the one who couldn’t move on. I was the one who blamed everypony else.” Fiddlesticks swallowed. “Some Apple I am, huh?”

Braeburn leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. “I ain’t exactly been an ideal Apple myself, Fiddle. Coulda reached out, but I never did.” He chuckled, an undercurrent of sadness running through it. “But you’re here now. Can’t change the past, but we can always change the future.”

Fiddlesticks chuckled herself. “I’ve been thinkin’ the same thing lately. Somethin’ similar, at least.”

“You have, huh?” Braeburn hummed and studied her for a moment. “Yeah, I recognize that look. Somethin’s troublin’ you, so you want some advice from your big brother.”

Fiddlesticks nervously glanced away. “Yeah, you got me. Sorry, this is supposed to be about us, and I just—”

“None of that now, I’m always happy to help you out. Tell me what’s up.”

And so she did, explaining how she’d met Lightning Dust, how they’d become friends, and how she’d ruined things. Braeburn nodded along, listening intently to everything she had to say, only ever interrupting her for clarification.

“So, yeah. This mare is special, and I messed things up bad with her,” she finished. “What should I do, Brae?”

“You know, when you told me how you two first met, I thought you wanted to prove this mare wrong. But that ain’t it, is it? You want to prove her right. You want to show her you’re capable of everythin’ she thinks you are and then some, huh?”

Fiddlesticks nodded. “How am I gonna do that, though? I told her to leave me alone, and she has. How can I make her hear what I play?”

Braeburn chuckled. “Sis, given everythin’ you’ve said about this mare, there’s no way she won’t hear you playin’.” Fiddlesticks looked at him skeptically, and Braeburn just smirked. “Trust me on this one. Just get out there and play your heart out; she’ll be there.”

Fiddlesticks didn’t feel the same confidence, but she could cling onto Braeburn’s as the push to get her to finally do it. “Thanks, for everythin’.” She got up and hugged him, an act which he quickly reciprocated.

“It’s the least I could do. Now get out there and wow this mare!”

Fiddlestick’s giggled and walked to the door. She opened it, but paused in the doorway.

“How come you never did reach out?” she asked.

“I knew you’d reach out when you were ready. I always had faith in you, sis.”

Fiddlesticks smiled and wiped away her tears.

“Thank you.”

And with that, she left to prepare for her next apology.

---

That evening found Fiddlesticks sitting on her usual street, gently pulling her violin out of its case. She thanked it quietly for its unending support as she got her act together. She placed it under her chin, brought her bow to the strings, and took a deep breath.

And then she played. Really played, for the first time in ages. Her mind was solely focused on the music, the way it flowed through her soul and out through the instrument, the same way Lightning’s soul flowed through her wings.

The sadness and loneliness she had felt for years hung in the air, layering and cascading over and over again. A glance upwards showed that Braeburn had been right, as Lightning Dust was peeking over a cloud with the subtlety of drunk yak, eyes wide as she watched Fiddlesticks play.

Fiddlesticks closed her eyes and smiled; her playing grew in intensity now that she was certain her desired audience was in attendance. Rage pierced through the layers of sadness that still clung to the air. It did nothing to clear it away, however, and merely added a new layer of misery.

Soon enough, she felt light wind currents flow around her. She smiled, since she knew that meant Lightning was now standing right in front of her. Her playing reached a fever pitch as she drove to the conclusion, filling the air with all of her feelings about Lightning Dust. Happiness, annoyance, and everything in between, but one emotion shined through above everything else:

Love.

The lingering misery was cleared away, and finally the conclusion was reached. Tears were falling down Fiddlestick’s face now, but she smiled wider than ever, even more than when she was a foal.

She put her violin down, and opened her eyes. Lightning was staring at her, tears of her own flowing freely, and a wide smile gracing her face as well.

“So, what’d you think?” Fiddlesticks asked.

Lightning rushed forward and hugged her. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t… I don’t even know what to say. I’m so proud of you, I—”

Fiddlesticks cut her off with a kiss. It was just a light one, but it felt like fireworks were exploding in her head. She pulled away, and giggled as Lightning tried to lean forward for another kiss. She held the other mare back with a hoof.

“Hey, if you want more than that, you better buy me dinner first.”

Lightning blinked for a minute, as if breaking free from a trance. “Right, yeah, dinner. Uh, meet me… here, I guess? Tomorrow. At six. I’ll uh, I’ll have something figured out by then. Definitely.”

Fiddlesticks giggled again. “It’s a date.”

Lightning mouthed those words, and grinned goofily. “Awesome. Yeah, I’ll uh, see you then.” She stood up and stumbled away before seeming to remember she had wings, and shooting off the rest of the way to her accommodations.

Fiddlesticks laughed at Lightning’s goofiness, but she couldn’t exactly blame her. She probably looked ridiculous herself, skipping home like a lovesick filly the way she did.

Once there, she ran up the stairs to her room and threw herself on the bed, kicking her hindlegs in delight. For the first time in a long time, things were looking bright. There was hope in her future again, and she was looking forward to facing the next day as she fell asleep.

And, thankfully, Fiddlesticks woke up that morning.

Comments

[Seer]

Said a lot of this during the editing but wow, what a piece, Wish.
Your lightning Dust here is one of your best pieces of character writing to date, she's so well realised and her interactions with Fiddlesticks are just an absolute joy to read
The central couple of chapters here form some of your best work to date, it almost makes me relieved I wasn't able to enter this contest as I certainly wouldn't fancy having to compete with this!
Great stuff!

[SigmasonicX]

Finished! (Actually finished days ago but forgot to write a comment)
This was a nice sweet romance. I could connect with Fiddlestick's frustration and it was nice seeing a more chill Lightning.