• Member Since 24th May, 2012
  • offline last seen May 8th

Pallydan



Comments ( 226 )
Wanderer D
Moderator

Haven't read this yet. But I do have a questions for you. Why did you remove A Guardian's Tale from your stories?

1322022 Cause something happened and I lost half of the next chapter to file corruption or some crud. It had been a real drag on me to write the story, I was losing interest in it and the main character, and I had come up with this story while incorporating a lot of the themes and mysteries from A Guardian's Tale. The data loss was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back and I just couldn't bring myself to re-write the next chapter or keep writing the story in general. I removed it because I'm going to address all the mysteries I brought up in the original in this fic, but with a new twist. Essentially, the fans who read my first fic will have their questions answered in this one while getting to see the world if things had happened differently. I also removed A Guardian's Tale so new readers could be surprised by the elements I'm introducing again, but with the changes it should still be just as interesting to the old readers. Hope this answers your question and, again, sorry about the craziness/the other fic being removed.

1322135 So in away this story is going to be a rewrite of A Guardian's Tale?
Well it's a pity you got rid of it. I was going to re-read it after I read this one. Oh well, I'll read this in the morning then I'll tell you what I think of it.

1322242 The original is not gone, just stored away. Someday I might go back and start writing it again or rewrite it. I just lost the drive after all the crap at work and the data loss so I jumped on to this story. But yeah, you're right. It's kind of a rewrite of A Guardian's Tale, hence the title.

nice, another great FoE story, are these rangers going to be tech hording raiders or are they actually nice?

1322716 I would usually say, "You gotta wait and see," but it's pretty well established that the Trottingham Steel Rangers are different from the rest of the Steel Rangers groups. I'll explain why later in the fic, but if you remember in Fallout: Equestria, when Applejack's Rangers finally get in contact with the Trottingham Steel Rangers, they immediately join sides with the more heroic and noble Rangers. Anyway, glad you like it. If things end up the way I think they are going to at work, I'm probably going to have a lot more time for writing so Chapter Two might be up before I leave for Canterlot Gardens on Thursday.

good chapter and kinda sad looking towards the next

1322792
oh yea, forgot about that, i havnt read the original FoE for almost a year now, maybe i should reread it. looking forward to the next chapter

oh btw you mind if I use your character and part of this in a comic?

1322959 Sure! I'd love to see it when you're done!

1322998 Its gonna just be the part where the voice whispers in her head till when the balefire eggs explode Im hiring a freelancer to do it might take a while

1323012 Oh cool. That'll be interesting. Can't wait to see it.

Well, I for one, am enjoying this. It's rare when a fallout equestria spin off comes off as good, but this seems to have a good feel so far. I like it, and look forward to seeing where it goes. I'll read chapter 1 later, as it's 4AM and I am tired. Until then: dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png

Y1

Grandmother White Rose was the kind, yet firm.

Spotted that mistake in the prologue. Cut the 'the'.
This is pretty good so far, mind you I've only read the prologue. I'd advise you to break up some of your paragraphs a little bit more. They just seem to get pretty long and meandering from time to time.

Y1

"That's what you get for slacking off in Royal Guard History and getting an 'B,' Storm,"

'An 'B,'? I think you mean 'a B'.
Oh and Silver Storm?
As in this Silver Storm? Is that a deliberate reference?
Oh, and she's straight? Well that makes her instantly a bit more unique. Why is it that ninety percent of Fallout Equestria protagonists are gay or bisexual or something? I don't mind it, but after a while I just start assuming that if it's a female protagonist she's gonna have a relationship with a mare at some point. Anyway, not that I mind if you do plan on making her gay or something, just saying. Now back on topic.
Star gems? There's no way that could possibly be bad. Gah, why do the ponies dismiss that stuff about the star? The stars be bad. We know this. Why do ponies not?

I read ever book, article, and paper I could find that dealt with the Ministry of Magic and Stable-Tec, the two leaders in the development of magical technology.

You mean every, right?

Magical Science was right next to Magic in general and History as my favorite subjects to read about; why else would I be a subscribe to Stable-Tec Monthly?

Subscriber. Your dropped your 'r'.

The note was in a distinctly feminine mouthwriting, it was far too sloppy to be made with magical calligraphy, and furrowed my brow.

You mean 'and I furrowed my brow.
Wait, wait wait wait. You're telling me that teh star gems... were good? And... helpful? Huh. Colour me surprised.

"Because the Trottingham Wasteland is the most fucked up place in all of Equestria. Well, from our own experience."

Plenty of places seem to be making that claim. Canterlot, Hoofington and a few others I could name. Just saying, don't go waving that flag too much.

I felt a twinge of relief when I saw that I saw shaking.

Saw saw? I think you mean saw was.

Anyway, interesting chapter, though I hope you're not gonna have the Rangers be mindlessly evil like they almost always are. I'm seriously sick of them being them being these supposed badasses, then the main character comes along and BOOM! 'bout a thousand dead rangers all over the place for no other reason than the main character wins.

1323864 Wow, thanks for the help. I proof read the fic twice and missed those little mistakes. And, no, like I said earlier to Snowfyre, the Trottingham Rangers are different from the rest of the Steel Rangers. I don't want to give anything away, but I hope you'll like them. Yes, Aria's straight. Who knows if the Star Gems are good or bad. And finally, the Silver Storm thing was a big coincidence. I am almost caught up with Project Horizons and was going to move on to something and just pulled up Heroes for the first time last night. Boy was I surprised. Anyway, thanks for the help and the constructive critique and I hope you enjoy the story. Oh, and on the Trottingham Wasteland thing, Trottingham, and especially Stable Sixty-Three, are pretty cut off from the rest of the wastes, as you'll soon see.

Y1

1324115
Reading it yourself is one thing, a good pre-reader is another thing entirely. Seriously, a good pre-reader is an authors best friend. Invest the time in getting one.
I actually seem to recall the Trottingham Rangers getting mentioned in Project Horizons. Maybe I'm wrong though... Anyway, whatever.
Heroes is great. Finish Project Horizons first, bud I definitely recommend Heroes with a 'double thumbs up, this story is really great recommendation'. I'd need more hands than I have to thumb up Project Horizons sufficiently.
I'll give this story a fave to keep tracking it, but I would love to see two things:
-One, get a good pre-reader. Seriously, they are the bomb.
-Two, break up some of those paragraphs. Seriously. A lot of them are much bigger than they need to be.
Oh, and is it a good thing that Aria has me thinking of Captain America with that shield and outdated armor of hers?

1324186 Thanks for the advice. Also, on the Captain America thing, that's your own thing only if you're a DC or Marvel kind of guy. But yeah, now that I look at it, she is a little Capish. Captain Equestria maybe? :pinkiehappy:

That pic, is that Hellgate? :yay:
I love that game :derpytongue2:

1324902 Yeah. I always picture Trottingham as the Equestrian London and that's the best apocalyptic London out there.

Someone said 'straight mare protagonist'? I had not read it yet, but I am already your fan :twilightsheepish:.

hey hey hey~ here is the story from DA!:pinkiehappy:

1325204 It's so weird that that is becoming a selling point for my fic. Eh, whatever. I just hope everybody likes it.

1326106 Glad you found it.

I can't help but think of Captain America while reading this. Not like that's a bad thing at all! It's looking interesting so far, the idea of coming back after 200 years is interesting. And I loved how she swore 'biscuits.' Really shows how innocent the old days were, loved the small touch.

I also found the idea of another Silver Storm to be kinda amusing. Also, I love the cover of this story. It's what got me interested in this in the first place. Keep it up!

By the way, are you considering looking for a pre-reader or editor? I'm just curious.

1327368
Oh, it's not the selling point. It's just a little detail what make story liiiiittle better. :ajsmug: Selling point is making sex scene in the first chapters, stuff like that.

I vaguely remember commenting on this before... but apparently I didn't. It was a very enjoyable read so far, and I look forward to more dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_smile.png

1330025 Glad you like it. Now that I'm out of a job, I have a little more time to write the story and my book. Of course, I'm leaving for Canterlot Gardens on Thursday so if I don't finish the next chapter, other than proofreading and such, it might not be until next week.

I was so immersed in this story after I finished reading that I actually forgot how I came about it. A very good read sir! A few errors, but they are very sparse. I hope you will continue soon!

1369384 Thanks. I need to find an editor or pre-reader that can catch those I guess.. It's just not coming along very well on that front. Also I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by Wednesday. I'm in the airport waiting for my plane to come back from Canterlot Gardens and doing the proofreading.

1369608 Ah yes. Getting a pre-reader would definitely help. If you are in need of one, I'd be interested in helping.

I must say I really enjoy the premise of this story. True, the whole pre-End Day pony in the Wasteland have been done before though the dash of history mixed maxes Aria just that more interesting. I hope we get to see more of both her past as well as more about her family, both present and past.

Either way, good work. It's an enjoyable read!

1413756 Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy it and yes, you will see a lot more about her past, her family, and the reason why she survived and ended up in the future. Chapter 3 really starts the clues and the story rolling with the introduction of the first of seven major characters so I've already started working on it. Hopefully it should be finished and ready for editing by Monday, Tuesday at the latest. Then it's just up to me and my pre-reader to get it out to y'all.

I have to say I called it knew Melody would leave with Aria, good chapter again anyways really good looking towards the next :twilightsmile:

The minute you said that melody was A: Good with her wings, and B: Good with tech, I knew she was going with.

Anyway, tis a good read, this. Please, continue.

'Chief Engineer Brightlight, and his wife..' Strange You did not spare a single question in this story except for the Silver Storm.. I thought Aria will yell something like "Did he really married on that bitch!?" Or she is don't get it? :rainbowlaugh:

All that crap happened with her in ONE DAY? :pinkiecrazy:

I very, very like how it written. Tact, details, body language, facical expression, inner voice, her slipping in thoughts. I like it all. :twilightsmile:
CONTINUE :pinkiehappy:

1455944 One day or two hundred years, but who's counting. Also, if your read some of the stuff in FO:E, a lot of stuff happens to Littlepip in just one day. And remember, Aria did blow up over the whole 'They're friends' thing. Anyway, the whole Melody being related to Silver Star thing gets addressed in the next chapter so stay tuned.

Loving it so far, but there are a few minor spelling/grammar issues scattered here and there. Minor stuff, but they do pop out and kind of break the flow a bit.

Keep up the great work, though as I am expecting another chapter in a day. It better be a day. I can't wait any longer :raritydespair:

1491198 It should hopefully be a day. I'm just waiting for my pre-reader to finish his edits, do said edits, and then get Chapter 3 up and out to you fine folks. Lot of stuff happens, btw. We're looking at 21,500+ words for the chapter and who knows if that'll increase during the final rewrites. Should be Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. Also, thanks for the favorite.

1491326 Yes! Prediction powers are still a-go! Can't wait. Love me some well-written Fo:E Spin-offs and this is definitely well written and interesting.

good chapter again each one gets me hooked more and more to this fic :twilightsmile:

1499199 Thanks. I saw the first panel of the comic you had commissioned. So Awesome! :rainbowkiss: Also, next chapter continues the build up, but hopefully won't be as long as the past two chapters. Hopefully.

An ancient evil, celestial beings, and the heroine is a pony. You sir have completed the checklist needed to keep me wanting more, plus more. Here is a moustache for your efforts. :moustache::moustache::moustache: or three. :yay:

well daum it looks like i found a diamond in the rough and you've melted an experienced fallout equestrian critic/whatever i am. Also great work you've gained another watcher and a favorite keep up the great work. /)

This is awesome but it made me miss Guardian Heart :applecry::fluttershysad::raritydespair::fluttercry:

Note to self: Do not open strange sarcophagi, unusual tombs, or sacred burial grounds.

Yes, a rather fine chapter, and you have managed to hook me on yet another story. Confound you. That said, I'm still wondering what kind of psychological effects Aria may face when finally stepping outside to see her entire world is gone. Hearing it is one thing, and this museum certainly proves it, but I think there may be more hardship yet for her.

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