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Sisterly Shower Time

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KitsuneNoYomeiri

KitsuneNoYomeiri #1 · Jul 17th, 2022 · 3 · ·

2299751

Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #2 · Aug 9th, 2022 · 1 · ·

Well this was a pleasant little read. Good premise, good choreography, good detail of action. My biggest complaint would probably be the lack of characterization. I'm not familiar with these two characters, so I don't know if they have firmly established identities beyond this story, but you should always assume your readers won't know anything about whatever OCs you're using. I would have enjoyed this much more if you'd taken a little more time to highlight the characters' personalities and their relationship; I find that doing such things improves the quality of stories of this kind drastically.