• Member Since 3rd Nov, 2017
  • offline last seen Sunday

Layton13


Come closer, stay a bit and I will tell you one of my bizarre tales.

Comments ( 4 )

So you're making more use of the paint/graffiti aspects of Revice's design, which is awesome.

That beginning part almost reminded me of that anime cliche where the main character runs out of her house with a piece of toast in her mouth because she's late.

And there are a few spelling errors, you spelled Henshin wrong twice just before the transformation.

But so far, not a bad start.

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So you're making more use of the paint/graffiti aspects of Revice's design, which is awesome.

Yeah, I kinda just had the idea and ran with it. I think it makes them stand out a bit compared to other Revice Riders.

That beginning part almost reminded me of that anime cliche where the main character runs out of her house with a piece of toast in her mouth because she's late.

I would be lying if I didn't have that in mind while writing this.

And there are a few spelling errors, you spelled Henshin wrong twice just before the transformation.

Fixed and wow... That was an awkward typo xD

But so far, not a bad start.

That#s good to hear. Thanks!

One could mistake it for any ordinary, peaceful day in the bustling city of Fillydelphia.

And then the Fire Nation attacked.

If one ignored the screams coming from one particular part of town.

I see Linkara is being forced to read Marville again.

"That's all you got, you damn bird?" It echoed across the intersection in front of city hall, coming from a hulking, obese figure currently laying atop a car's engine hood. Well, slammed into would fit the description more. The figure slowly started to move, dragging itself off the hood, revealing the sizable indent it had left behind.

Well he certainly left an impression.

With a low gurgle, the fish grabbed the car's hood and ripped it off, using it as a makeshift shield, watching each kunai embedding itself into the metal with a loud thunk.

This guy saw Steve Rogers using a car door as a shield and decided to take it to the next level.

What followed could only be described as an inferno, as a series of massive explosions rocked the street, blowing the officer right off his feet.

Oh no, they're filming a Michael Bay movie nearby!

"And please, call me Radiant. We are family here, after all."

Now go clean your room and do your homework or you don't get dessert tonight.

"Let’s start with you, little miss Splash Page!”

Just as long as she doesn't have to be turned on her side and take up two whole pages.

With a resigned sigh, she rose from her pillows, revealing the exact same woman, well, besides the fact that she looked far less amused and her hair was an ungodly, unkempt mess.

*gasps* You mean she doesn't sleep with her hair in a ponytail and wake up with perfect hair and appearance? I'm shocked, that's so unrealistic.

With her luck, she’d just cut herself on it this afternoon when she returned from work.

Work…

AHHHHHH, WORK! BACK YOU FOUL DEMON! BACK!

“Shit! I’ll miss the subway!” she screamed out, grabbing her thermos, dashing out the door and down the apartment’s stairs, almost running over an older lady who did not hide her annoyance in the slightest.

Those darn kids today.

What was even worse, it didn’t even matter. Even if she had managed to leave on time, the subway was closed! And, of course, only the line she needed! What else? Apparently, it had been damaged in a fight last night. Of bloody course, it had been. Clearly, Fortuna had focused all her efforts on screwing her over this day.

Is she perhaps related to Milo Murphy?

“I don’t care! We are massively behind schedule on our work; the deadline is this weekend! We got to work even harder to make it! So, even if the building next to ours gets swarmed by a bunch of monsters, we gotta finish this!” She returned rather agitated, already having turned back to her monitor and, with it, her graphic software.

She knows something... THE MONSTER ATTACKS ARE AN INSIDE JOB!

“Not… Really what I meant. You think the monster attacks will continue?” Swift returned, her voice a bit more nervous.

Nah I'm sure the monster attacks will stop now and the rest of this chapter is just filler.

“Probably, but a Rider or someone else will come along and deal with it. You hear it in the news every day or so now,”

Don't be silly, Kamen Riders are just an Urban Legend, that's what the shows tell us after all.

“Mhm…” She simply replied, returning to her work. After almost a minute of, what at least to her felt like awkward silence, she added a shaky: “Mind if I pay… for your lunch… today? So the day… is not an entire wash?”

Girl, if you want to ask her out, just ask her out.

“Scratch the recently, and you’re dead on the money,” She groaned before taking another bite of the chewy steak. “It’s like someone cursed me! Things seem to slow down for a bit? Bam! Things go wrong! I fucking hate it! You can set your watch to it, I tell you!”

Definitely related to Milo Murphy... or Kamen Rider Den-O... or SCP-7000... wow there are a lot of jokes you can make about this...

“Oh, fuck, I’d love that. But sadly… I already planned out all the vacation days I got this year. Only got like five days left. Two of them are for Hearthswarming with the family. Which… I’ll honestly need a vacation double the length of right after if I’m honest,” she groaned, leaning her head back, staring at the ceiling tiles with an exasperated expression.

So, like a normal family visit.

“Yup… He’s Fillydelphia’s favorite ‘Good Vibes’ coach,” she groaned. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s fine and means well, but… Man, does it get on my nerves.” She groaned even louder, resting her head on the table.

I feel like I should say something snarky about social media influencers or Fake Gurus or Motivational Speakers here... can't think of anything good, so I'll just say work to stay off of Equestria Coffeezilla or Illuminaughti kid.

“I… I was a tagger back in the day,” she returned, sounding distant in a way and looking at Spray Can like a dear in the headlights. “We… Used to spraypaint our art at buildings we liked… Not asking anyone. Probably for close to a year… Everything went fine, till… Someone ratted us out… I… was the only one arrested… And they canceled my scholarship to the Fillydelphia Institute of Art and Design… That’s how I ended up here….”

Interesting backstory, don't have anything snarky to say here, just this was an interesting approach to the main character, I like it.

He started clubbing and eventually settled on a club named ‘Cataclysm Paradise’.

What a cheery sounding name.

“Oh, I’m here to make you an offer of great importance,” he simply returned, smiling.

"I'm recruiting for Amway, would you be interested?"

Meanwhile, the man in the jacket simply shook his head. “What kind of buddies do you have, fish? So impatient,” he chuckled to himself. “Oh well, they’ll come around soon enough if that is where they are going. I hope they do; it would be a waste otherwise.” He shrugged and started to move as well, slipping into an alleyway.

"I need to increase my Downline darn it!"

“Well, tell your real self that it has a terrible fashion sense,” she simply returned. “You’re trying too hard.”

I don't even have to snark on this guy, Splash does it for me... I feel somewhat redundant.

“It’s a Psyde-Driver, didn’t you listen?” A sly, mocking voice giggled into her ear from the other side. With a loud scream, she spun around, staring at a black figure; her body, covered in what looked like layered skin with white pieces hiding underneath it, was still becoming visible. The figure seemed almost demonic with its twisted face, reminding her of a dragon with long, sharp ears and piercing purple eyes. But the most striking thing was the white fox tail hanging from her back and the pink-tipped end of it.

Oh great, its something from the dreams of certain D&D that guys.

()Fox!()

Taking one deep breath, she raised the stamp before slamming it on top of the device, flipping it sidewards, stopping at a nighty degree angle.

"Henshin!"

()Flip Out! F-F-Fox!()

()Draw Up!()

(Sketch-(

)Splash-)

()ing!()

(Paint-(

)Spray-)

()ing!()

()Kamen Rider()

(Ego!(

)Id!)

()Ego Plus Id!()

The Driver started to scream, two voices overlapping each other and fighting for dominance before coming together for the last line. In the meantime, Id had manifested a giant version of the stamp and swirled around her for a bit before slamming it down on top of her, the pink liquid slowly forming something over her body before bursting open, revealing two figures.

One clad in white armor, with a pink chest and highlights, the fox of the stamp embedded onto it. The white split open under her chest, revealing black parts to the suit before returning to the white with pink highlights. Two shoulder pads were attached to her, almost giving her suit the design of a Neighponien shrine maiden. The helmet she now wore was shaped like a white fox mask with pink highlights, a silver half moon on her forehead, and bright blue, elongated eyes.

The other figure looked very similar to Id, just with a white hoodie over her upper body. A white hoody stained and covered in pink ink splashes. Two fox ears from a more traditional white fox mask with pink highlights poked out from under it. She wore short, white cloth sleeves wrapped in pink beads on her ankles. The tail was still sticking out of her but was now accompanied by two stiff pink ribbons with a silver bell attached. She wore the same Driver the other figure wore but flipped to the left instead of right.

Love this sequence, great henshin sequence.

No, Kamen Rider Id! You gotta use the full name, Kamen Rider Ego, Id chuckled back before looking towards the battlefield that had fallen quiet. Their transformation had even managed to stop the two combatants to figure out what exactly was happening.

So, where's Kamen Rider Superego? And does it act like a fratboy? Or was that the ego... I'm not tracking down a comic just for a joke.

“You are a tagger; I heard that from your little talk with the abomination. And a Rider on top. You are an affront to the great order of this world! For that, you shall be punished!” The bird simply stated before descending rapidly! Directly at her!

“What Thesaurus did you eat today?” She shouted back, utterly baffled by her high and mighty tone, before reading herself for another dodge.

Seriously, why am I here?

After all of this, she definitely needed more than one coffee.

Lots and lots of coffee.

Snark aside, great first chapter.

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And then the Fire Nation attacked.

I think here it'd be more a war between Water Tribe and Air Nomads.

I see Linkara is being forced to read Marville again.

No, that'd be wailing in despair.

Well he certainly left an impression.

Pulls out a purple slipper.

Oh no, they're filming a Michael Bay movie nearby!

I mean, Toku would probably appeal to him :rainbowlaugh:

Just as long as she doesn't have to be turned on her side and take up two whole pages.

"It is an artistic choice! Man, everyone's a critic nowadays!"

She knows something... THE MONSTER ATTACKS ARE AN INSIDE JOB!

MONSTER PUNCHES CAN'T BEND STEAL BEAMES!

Nah I'm sure the monster attacks will stop now and the rest of this chapter is just filler.

Yeah, slice of life story now! WOOOOH!

Don't be silly, Kamen Riders are just an Urban Legend, that's what the shows tell us after all.

Hides the giant amount of TV footage showing Riders.

"YUP!"

Girl, if you want to ask her out, just ask her out.

media.discordapp.net/attachments/726121543049936936/794593047835967518/horny_jail-1.jpeg

I feel like I should say something snarky about social media influencers or Fake Gurus or Motivational Speakers here... can't think of anything good, so I'll just say work to stay off of Equestria Coffeezilla or Illuminaughti kid.

Oh, you're gonna love him. :pinkiehappy:

Interesting backstory, don't have anything snarky to say here, just this was an interesting approach to the main character, I like it.

Thank you!

I don't even have to snark on this guy, Splash does it for me... I feel somewhat redundant.

Yeah, Splash has no patience for his bullshit :rainbowlaugh:

Love this sequence, great henshin sequence.

Thanks! Through, a good amount of it is mostly lifted from Revice's base Henshin, so, can't claim too much praise here.

So, where's Kamen Rider Superego? And does it act like a fratboy? Or was that the ego... I'm not tracking down a comic just for a joke.

:trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

Nowhere.

Seriously, why am I here?

Because I enjoy your snark!

Snark aside, great first chapter.

Great to hear! Glad you enjoyed it! I'm quite happy with the end result and feel like it has some solid places to go.

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