Knead Top is a lonely pizza shop owner. After inheriting the shop (and all the responsibility) from his parents after their passing, he’s had a hard time making the bills due to the severe lack of customers.
Canterlot just wasn’t in the mood for pizza anymore.
However, one pony seemed to be.
…Princess Luna and Topple enjoyed the night they spent together.
(Topper’s Pizza logo belongs to Topper’s Pizza. This isn’t the logo of the Topper’s Pizza I usually go to down in SoCal, but it works.)
Chapters (1)
That was a very nice story to read!
11281836
Thanks!
I enjoyed it and it's better than a lot of recent stories here.
11281890
Thank you!
Well, that was certainly a cute little story. Good premise, with a decent execution. On a high level, your characterization was good, although I felt your actual dialogue was a bit out of character in some places. Besides that, you had some minor issues with grammar and punctuation, although not enough to drag the story down. If you really are planning to make this a larger story, I'd be interested in seeing where you take it.
11288056
Ah, makes sense. Yeah I haven’t watched this show in ages. If you’re talking about Luna (makes sense, my own character can’t be out of character, I wrote that mf!!! Lol) then I can see it.
I usually consider myself good at dialogue and keeping in character but it’s been a while. Maybe I should do some homework, watch some luna episodes.
And the grammar and punctuation, I’m sure I’ll see it if I read it again in a week or so. I don’t exactly have an editor
Thanks for the feedback, I’ll keep it in mind :)
(And thank you for the compliments)
Glad this has a sequel. I enjoy fluffy slice of life fics like this.
11303758
You and me both bud. Saw a significant lack of shit like that in recent times so I had to do my community service u know
Kinda missed opportunity while he was cooking to just leave her out there at the table alone
That section when he’s taking about her redeeming seems stilted
Very fun and laid back, I'm gonna read the other one now.