Button Mash's Adventure

by David Silver

3 - Party On

Button ascended the dread mountain. Well, it wasn't the tallest or most foreboding in the lands; he remembered worse. Still, it was the tallest he'd ever climbed on his own hooves before. The enemies were also inching up in levels. This made complete sense to him. He felt silly for not noticing on his own, but one time he was clobbered and, stars dancing, he was left squinting and discovered the enemies had equipment scenes too. He could see those levels and other various stats, even if there wasn't time to admire them in the middle of a scrap.

But there was one vicious monster that would stay still for him to examine. He curled a leg into his field of view and gazed upon it, able to see his own stats for the first time.

Button Mash Type: Hero
Element: None Class: Adventurer

"Huh." Adventurer was a class, a jack of all trades, master of none kind of deal. This also made sense to him. He could scrap physically or hurl his spells. It did mean he could learn a healing trick or two, as soon as he found those spells. It was also one of the least interestingly named classes, but such was the fate of those who would save the world.

What followed was a laundry list of statistics. Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, all that stuff. "Hey!" His Intelligence was lower than the others. "Not funny!" He was super clever, thank you very much RPG world!

He had no statuses. He had exactly that many gold on hoof. Good! The monsters were dropping coins and sometimes other loot for him to collect. Button had 13 experience points to go for the next level. "Awesome." He had a level, which meant he was getting stronger! "It's worth whalloping monsters then." Even when they didn't have upgrades for his equipment, he figured. Levels were levels. "Wonder if I could take out one of those rock thingies in one hit now..." He wasn't going to go back to check.

One negative, the games never bothered with things like camping or stuff unless it was part of a FMV sequence. The trick was that he was living in FMV mode the whole time. When it got dark and he got tired, he had to sleep! He couldn't just ignore time like he could when he was playing the game.

He hadn't bought a lot of camping supplies. Who needed that in video-game RPGs? So he got a crash course in doing it the hard way. Plus! Spark worked really good at starting camp fires, so he wasn't chilly. He just had to collect a bunch of wood and not set himself on fire. That only happened once!

He arrived at the top of the mountain. "Woah." And he could see the world! Well, the continent, a good chunk of it. It was like when he was falling, without as much panic. A thought tickled at him. He could try calling those birds, couldn't he? But you had to be in the right spot to do that, and on the Overworld. He was pretty sure a mountain pass did not qualify. Besides, it wasn't time to call them. He had last time out of an emergency.

"Hello." A mare in chain armor approached at a light walk, a smile on her face. "I didn't expect to see another traveler."

Button perked his ears, silent a moment before he remembered how to talk. "Wow, it's been a while."

"Crazy, right?" She closed with Button, standing perhaps a bit too close. "It's been so long since I saw another pony." She seemed a standard pony, pegasus. Her cutie mark was stitched onto her rump's armor, showing a sword colliding with what looked like a goblin's head. "Oh! My name's Sidestep. What's yours?"

Button offered a hoof. "Button Mash. Nice to meetcha!" He snuck in a squint to see her stats.

Sidestep Type: Hero
Element: Air Class: Sword Maiden

"Cool!"

Side inclined her head at him. "It is a little chilly up here."

Oops! "Um, you... look like a sword maiden. I've never met one before, in person."

She stood up, but that wilted. "I'm not a very good one," she admitted with a sigh. "But, yes. You have amazing perception to notice that." She curled a wing to pat at a sword's hilt. "I would show you, but this is to be drawn only when used, and you have given me little reason to need to use it."

"Aw, wait..." He realized that was a good thing. No reason to make the sword maiden feel a need to ue her sword. "Would you be mad if I said I kinda hope a monster shows up so I can see it?"

Her cheeks darkened swiftly. "That has meanings, Sir Mash. Do not casually ask a Sword Maiden to watch her battle unless you are her paramour or her master, and you are neither." She deflated anew. "Not that I have one of those."

"Why not?" he asked without hesitation.

She gave him a dirty look, but sat on her haunches. "If I did, I would be in their court, enforcing their will, or protecting what is theirs. I am a new maiden, and no master has taken me in yet. I adventure to prove my worth and change this. I missed my last big chance, so I continue. Diligence will win in the end. For what purpose do you wander, Sir Mash?"

"That's a fair question... Um." But did he have a good answer? "I am here to save the world!"

She recoiled. "Truly? Then we are two ponies on the same leaking ship."

Button blinked softly. "Have no fear! I will succeed."

"I doubt that." She casually tapped him on the nose. "The world is already saved. Neither you nor I can save what is already saved."

That answered as many questions as it raised. "But... It can't... How..." He flopped forward in a crash on his belly. "How?! I need to get home, and beating the... That was my ticket home!" He began to stomp his hooves on the ground, striking with the sides as he thrashed. "This isn't fair!"

Sidestep set a hoof on his back as he performed his tantrum. "I felt the same way when I realized I had missed my opportunity. I hear it was quite the battle... I would have dearly wished to have taken part."

"It was pretty cool..." Button sat up, wiping his face. "Alright, be cool!"

"As you mentioned, it is already chilly." One mission, complete. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah... Alright. I... alright." He frowned with thought. "There has to be another way to win, and I'm going to find it!"

"That is the spirit." She looked him over slowly. "Where are you headed now? I am going to Stony Brook."

"Oh! That's the name!" She looked at him oddly. "Sorry, I just came from there. There's nothing interesting there, promise." He waved off the idea. "I'm going that way." He pointed what was forward in his travels. "I was gonna get ambushed and--"

"--A very poor ambush." Sidestep squinted at him. Did she see menus? "That is, if you already know it's coming. Who dislikes you enough to prepare an ambush?"

"Nobody..." There would be no ambush. All the specific events already happened, shoot... "Which... means right now I'm an adventurer. I will adventure! I'll find a new victory condition."

"That is heartening to hear." She stood up. "I wish you luck on your journey."

"You too!" He waved excitedly and resumed his journey, even if he wasn't sure what the sword maiden planned to do. "New plan... New plan! He could check out all the dungeons and things and see what the world savers had left behind. He'd be the top scavenger around. With any luck, they missed a lot of stuff.

Unless he was the last savior. If that last group had been him, going for 100%, then there wouldn't be anything of worth left behind, all scooped up. "Only one way to find out!" He descended from the mountain in great leaping jumps. "First, a town." And a bed, and a bath, and good food. He had plenty to look forward to.

Button got to take out his frustration on a few new enemies on the way down, including one new dropped weapon. "Nice stats." The numbers were all higher, but no fun status. Still, numbers! He took the spear and swung it around, teeth clenched around the middle of it. "Awesome."

He took a moment to be thankful he was an adventurer. They could use basically any weapon they got their hooves on. If he was a sword maiden, besides the first obvious problem, he'd be stuck to only swords. A sword maiden didn't use a spear, that would be silly. Dishonor upon her and her family! But an adventurer had no such rule.

The ground became even as he found a road and began to follow it. "Civilization, here I come!" There were few monsters on the road itself, another positive. Following it, he found his first... It could count as a city. A small city? Still a city. Stony Brook had been a village. He hurried to reach the city proper. "Just in time." It was growing late in the day and if he could avoid another night of camping, he was all for that.

"Excuse me." He went up to a guard in heavy scale mail, a stocky dwarf unicorn. "I'm new in town and I'm looking for an inn. Where do you suggest?"

"Oh? Welcome." The guard nodded at the adventurous Button Mash. "You be a good person and we shouldn't have a problem. Keep your weapons bound, kindly." He pointed to the spear Button had ready. "Need help with that?"

Bound? "Uh... Sure?"

The dwarf unicorn sat next to Button and got to tying a string around the spear that attached it to him. "You look new to the idea. They don't have that rule where you're from?"

"Nope." Button peered at the bright blue string. "What's it for?"

"If you wanted to draw it." He tapped at the spear. "You'd have to untie the string first. That time gives ponies a chance to leave, but also gives you a chance to calm down. It also gives us a chance to hit ya one on the head for makin' trouble in our fair city! But... It does mean you can untie it, which is important if we mess up and a monster ends up in here."

"Oh... neat." Button stopped playing with the spear. "So, an inn?"

"Right over there." The guard pointed the way. "Tell them Flint Spirit sent you." He nodded mid-turn. "Keep your nose clean and enjoy your visisit."

"Yes!" He sprang for the inn with a big smile. "Neat!" It was larger than the one in Stony Brook, with more ponies of various sorts. He saw a big hulking demonic earth pony sipping a drink. "What?" He veered off towards the new curious person. "What are you?"

The demonic pony laughed at the question. "You come to me to ask that first? How rude. If you did not appear so young, I would invite you on a little walk."

A few other ponies shied away. Button didn't catch that hint. "Is it a secret?"

"It is not a secret." He brought down a hoof on Button's head, smooshing his straw hat. "Since I will have no peace otherwise, I am a fire born. Now go and mind your own business." He casually shoved Button away. "We are here to eat and sleep."

"Cooool." Button found a seat for himself with a big grin. Fire Born hadn't been one of the party members, so he never really got to know them outside of them lurking in the background at times.

He might have been stuck, but at least it was an interesting world. He just had to figure out how to win.

Author's Note:

Where's the power button on this thing?

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Comments

[Eroraf86]

Trapped in a game with no win condition. I didn't expect this to get so philosophical about life...

[Booster Spice]

The Sword Maiden will return from the starting village, keeping it in the notifications?

At least Button has a reliable income from monster harvesting, if not farming, as that means stying in one place, unless he can set up a delegated farmstead in each location, but that then needs a common inventory or account notification etc?

Looks like Buttons new aquaintance is one step below full blown dragon? Pretty hefty member if recruitable into the party?

[terrycloth]

If he has to save the world to leave, and the world's already been saved, then the first thing he needs to do is put the world in danger again.

[David Silver]

11299991
There is a certain logic here...

[geomease]

Button being an incorrigible child with his interactions will not be getting old anytime soon!

[tsaukpaetra]

Oh no, he called the recruit! Well no worry, there will be others...