Isekai'd An Hero

by Kaidan

06 Coming Through a Town Near You

I laid there in defeat, in the middle of a dirty street staring up at the blue sky, not even bothering to avert my eyes as the sun slowly came into view. As it started to burn I blinked the water out of my eyes and turned my head.

I saw a small pony run up to me, only a few inches tall. It was cyan and plastic, wings rubber banded to its back. It looked like a living toy doll.

“You! Please, you’ve got to help us!” Dash shouted, her voice sounding tinny and far away.

“I don’t care, just let me lay here and die. Things can’t get anyworse.”

“Worse? Yes they can! Twilight will turn you into a doll in her dollhouse! But you’re like, huge! You’ve got to beat her up. Pow, kick, kabam! And save us all! Please!”

I turned my head to look towards the other side of the street. I heard the pitter patter of tiny hooves running around my head, and Dash reappeared. “Come on Mister! Won’t you at least try? Or get a message to Celestia? The whole town’s doll-sized now! You could march right out of here to safety!”

“Meh.”

There was something bumping into my side and I rolled my head back the other direction and spotted a doll-pony sized bus ramming into my side. It was about the size of a loaf of bread and posed no risk to actually running me over. It was kinda sus that the bus shrank too but I didn’t care, picking up the Sussex bus and throwing it down the road.

Dash had taken off to search for help by now when I heard a pony approaching.

“Well, what have we here?” Twilight asked.

“Don’t care.”

“You damaged my bus, that wasn’t very nice.”

I felt a tingle of magic and the buildings around me began to grow in size. I’d flattened a fair number of them, but soon I was the size of the tiny toy doll I’d seen earlier. Twilight loomed over me, a giant twenty times my size.

“Well, It is going to take me a while to rebuild all this, but I suppose you can stay as my friend if you promise to be nice.”

“Still don’t give a shit.”

Twilight gasped. “You can’t say that in Equestria, the penalty is death. Sorry!”

I shrugged and heard the familiar whine of a bus engine, the once tiny bus now looming over me as it picked up speed and hit my head.

---

I woke up in an empty field, sitting up to see over the foot-tall grass. The skies, trees, and river had not changed, but Ponyville was gone.

Instead, all I could see were feral horses wandering around eating grass. They were normal, Earth sized, stupid horses. I got up and walked over to pet one. It whinnied back to me, and its eyes sparkled with recognition, but the feral creature didn’t say or do anything. It resumed nibbling at some of the grass.

I looked around realizing this was it: the worst version of Equestria. The bus had finally hit me enough times to send me to a truly inescapably, irredeemably awful Equestria.

I glanced back to the horse I had just petted and saw it winking at me. “Well, I guess it’s not all bad here.”

On my way over to pet the horse some more, I heard grass and gravel crunching as something wheeled closer to me. I looked to my left and saw the red bus was back. It idled about twenty feet away, watching me. Behind the wheel was the man I’d seen back on Earth at the bus stop, the one who I had pickpocketed while he seemed to die of a heart attack.

Sighing, I sat down. “You win!” I shouted. “Whatever the moral of the story is, I get it, okay? I’m a jerk! I shouldn’t have stolen that video game from you! I’m an asshole! A weeb! A hikikomori! I liked shipping Applejack and Rarity! Okay?! I’ve got flaws!”

The bus continued to idle and the man inside nodded once, slowly.

“Look, I’m sorry! I’ll try to be better. I won’t take advantage of Equestria, just give me a chance! Send me back to one of the good ones!”

The driver mulled it over for a moment, before I heard the engine rev.

I raised my arms out to the side. “Well then?”

The tires began to squeal and the parking brake released.