The Reason
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
-Kimberly Johnson
Rainbow Dash watched as Twilight slowly began to circle her and the speedster suddenly held a new sympathy for the changeling queen. It was one thing to see her friend (and that was what she was, despite what Twilight might claim) stalk somepony, preparing to move in for the beatdown. Especially if that pony was some bug-queen that fed off of love and happiness.
It was another thing entirely to be the prey herself.
The only way Dash kept from breaking down at the sight was to keep telling herself that this wasn’t her friend. This wasn’t the Twilight Sparkle she had spent 2 years getting to know, bonding with. This was some twisted version of her friend… a corruption of the good and caring pony Dash and the rest of the girls knew.
The cyan flyer gulped, realizing this is exactly what Twilight had felt when she had faced them down after Discord had worked his magic on them. If it weren’t for the bright colors of Twilight’s coat confirming that she hadn’t been ‘discorded’ Dash would have been looking around for the chaos god.
Dark magic whipped and twitched about Twilight’s horn like adders fighting over a mouse, the long tentacles lashing out at anything and everything. Twilight’s face was twisted and manic and Rainbow flashed back to the Smartypants incident, the last time she had truly seen that crazed smile.
Rainbow smirked. Yes… this was crazy Twilight. Otherwise known as Not Rational Twilight and Not Thinking Twilight.
This was a Twilight she could deal with.
“Don’t make me hurt you,” Rainbow said simply.
“I was going to say the same thing,” Twilight said with a laugh, the DJ putting on a good beat for them to fight to. While half of the crowd had cleared out the rest had moved off the dance floor and taken their spots at the rails, taking bets on who would come out on top.
“That’s the Best Young Flyer from a year ago… she has it for sure!”
“Are you insane? Lady Sparkle took on Discord and the changelings! She has this in the bag.”
“I got 10 bits they end up kissing after a few hoof-strikes.”
Rainbow Dash smirked as she realized she had an audience. “Oh, so the folks want a show?” She preened for a moment, flashing Twilight a dark smirk. “Let’s give them a show.”
“Take this seriously!” Twilight roared, sending several bolts of dark magic at the speedster. Rainbow easily twisted out of the way, blasting over to the DJ’s table and grabbing some records. She spun them on her hoof before sending them at Twilight, forcing the lavender mare to bat them away with her magic.
“Come on, Twi, have some fun!” Rainbow Dash called out, baiting her friend.
“I was having fun until you showed up!” Twilight roared, attempting to fire a bolt of dark magic a Dash but only managing to strike a spotlight and sending it smashing to the ground. She made a move to grab it only for Rainbow Dash to snatch it up. “Stand still!” Twilight screamed in frustration, stomping her hoof. “This is not a game!”
Rainbow Dash slammed the spotlight onto Twilight’s head, making the mare buck in thrash as she tried to remove the metal ‘helmet’. Blasts of magic shot from her horn, and randomly struck overhanging struts and lighting structures, sending them crashing to the ground. The crowd, realizing that this was getting dicy, gave up on betting and began to make their escape, leaving only the two former friends, the baby dragon, and the whimpering alicorn in their wake.
“It seems a game to me, the way you are acting, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, floating around the enraged unicorn. “You know why we didn’t take you seriously yesterday? The same reason I can’t take you serious right now: you are acting like a foal. You don’t get your way or things don’t fit into your perfect little plans and you whine and complain and fret. If you had calmly came to us and told us about the spell that changeling was casting, we would have listened to you. But you didn’t, did you?” Rainbow Dash darted out of the way of a stray bolt of magic that sent another strut crashing to the ground. “You came rushing in screaming and hollering. If I had done that you would have thought me nuts!
“And now look at you. You want us to believe that you are ok but this isn’t you, Twilight. You don’t go to clubs and drink and dance. You don’t attack your friends and call them hurtful names. None of this is you. I don’t know if it is dark magic or stress… I really don’t care. All I know is that you aren’t acting like Twilight Sparkle and I’m not going to take you serious until you do.” Rainbow Dash zipped behind her, slamming her front hooves against the spotlight, making Twilight tremble like she was caught in an earthquake. “This is now how you get people to listen to you, Twilight. This is how you get them to think you are nuts!”
With that, Rainbow reared back and gave the spotlight a good buck, sending Twilight crashing to the ground, her body trembling before going still.
The pegasus slowly trotted over to Twilight, stroking the broken mare’s back. A tear fell from her eye and she was thankful none of the other girls were there to see her whimpering like a wuss. “I… I don’t know what did this too you… but we are going to make this better Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said softly. “I'm sorry.”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Shining, stop this!” Twilight Velvet begged. Sometimes she hated the fact that she had never gotten formal training when it came to using her magic. Oh, she knew some spells, alright, just like any other unicorn. Being able to lift things up with ease had made it easy to deal with her babies. Her little colt had always wanted to crawl about, exploring their house and getting into trouble. Twilight, meanwhile, had developed the bad habit of taking her naps curled up in some little corner that only she could get too, which meant when she awoke hungry it was a pain to get her out. Thus, Velvet had perfected the retrieve spell that dragged her little foals back to her, even if they were in another room.
That spell worked great on a foal the size of a bag of flour. But on a full-grown unicorn? Nothing.
“Shining, please.” Night Light sighed, watching as his son struggled to get out of his hospital gown. “Everypony is out there looking… they’ll find your sister.”
“I need to find her,” Shining said simply, finally giving up and using his magic to rip the gown from his body.
“Why?” Velvet asked. “Why does it have to be you?”
“Because it is my fault.” He didn’t scream the words, shout them, or whisper them through tears. He just said them, no different than how one would state that it was going to rain. “I caused this, mom and I need to fix it.”
“Shining-“
“You weren’t there!” Shining snapped. He took a breath, gathering himself. “You didn’t… see what she looked like. I hurt her real bad and now I need to fix it. I need to find her and help her.”
“Son, you weren’t in control,” Night said softly. “The changeling queen-“
“Made me see her as Cadence. Her entire spell was directed at her and no one else. She did nothing to make me act that way towards Twiley. That was all me.” The captain lowered his head in shame. “I keep thinking about it and I realize I would have done that if it had been the real Cadence. I would have said those… horrible things because a small part of me wanted to. And I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.” Taking a breath, Shining Armor prepared himself. “The only way I am going to be able to heal is if I fix her first.”
“You heard the Princesses, Shining,” Velvet said. “Your sister is consumed by dark magic. She is in less control than you were. If you go to her now… she could hurt you.”
“And I might be able to break through and save her. I owe her that much. A few broken bones will be worth it. I owe her that much.”
Night Light watched as his son made his wavy towards the door. “Shining… I’m coming with you.” He glanced at his wife and sighed. “Everyone has a bit of blame when it comes to this. The sooner we realize that the better.”
Velvet closed her eyes. “Let’s go save Twilight then.”
Shining Armor smiled, leading his parents out the door… and taking a step closer to bringing their Twilight back.
~MC~MC~MC~
“Rainbow Dash?” Spike called out, never leaving Cadence’s side. He had been fighting the urge to leap to Twilight’s defense during the entire battle but something had held him back. He wasn’t for sure if it was the knowledge that Rainbow Dash was right… or the desire to prove to Twilight he believed in her ability to stand up to the pegasus.
The cyan flyer sighed, her head lowered as she slowly trotted towards the baby dragon. “I’m… I’m sorry Spike. I didn’t want to hurt her but… you saw how she was. She wasn’t thinking clearly and… and I had to hurt her to keep her from hurting other ponies.” Rainbow closed her eyes. “We’re going to make this right, I swear. We’ll get her back to the hospital, get that black magic drained out of her, then have a nice long talk. Heck, I’ll even go to a spa with her if that will get her to forgive us.”
“Rainbow Dash?”
The pegasus turned, watching as a soft purple light, Twilight’s normal magic, slowly lifted the spotlight from her head. The magic slowly retreated back to her horn before it began to slide down the unicorn’s body, healing the wounds the pegasus had inflicted. Twilight blinked, shaking her head.
“Twilight? You ok?”
“Never better,” Twilight said softly.
A bolt of purple magic shot up, striking a strut. Rainbow’s jaw dropped as the metalwork above the dance floor collapsed, hanging down and separating her from Spike and Cadence. The cyan mare began to look about, trying to wrap her head around the new development, when a more chilling fact became clear: the falling struts and metal had formed a cage, keeping her away from Spike… and locking her in with Twilight. That last blast had merely set up the final pieces to complete the cell.
It hit Rainbow Dash like a freight train; all of this, from the moment Twilight had called for the song… was a set up. Her ‘random’ blasts weren’t random at all and her screams had been to serve as a distraction as she systematically created the perfect cage to trap the pegasus. What use are wings when you have no space to fly?
Twilight had known just what Rainbow Dash would expect and had used that to her advantage.
The pegasus shivered as she slowly turned to stare at her friend.
“You still… don’t… get it,” Twilight said as her eyes glowed black, even as she used white magic. Rainbow Dash began to move about, trying to find some hole she could slip through. “None of this was about you girls not believing me. I get that, I really do. I went about it all the wrong way. I wouldn’t have believed me either so I don’t blame any of you. That was my fault and I am sorry for acting like a foal.” A pulse of purple magic grabbing a hold of Dash’s wings and yanking her to the ground. “But you see… you just apologized for the wrong reason.
“The issue here, the great big 700 pound gorilla in the room, is something that is supposed to be close to your heart, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight glanced over and brought two pieces of pipe over. The pegasus trembled, trying to free herself, only for Twilight to lash out. But where Rainbow Dash had expected a blow to the head she instead found entrapment; the metal poles bending around her body, the ends driven into the dance floor, pinning her to the ground. “And that… is loyalty.
“I don’t expect any of you to agree with me. Not all the time. I’m not that stupid. If I wanted that I would have made myself a little club of yes-ponies right here in Canterlot. Creator knows there were enough little unicorns that wanted to hang out with ‘Celestia’s Student’.” Twilight trotted around her friend, watching her struggle. “What I did expect was that you would stand by me, good and the bad. How many times did you get in over your head and I helped you? All us girls always had your back, Rainbow Dash. But when I needed you to have mine, you walked away.” Twilight got in the pegasus’ face, sneering in frustration and rage. “My brother cut me out of his life! My mentor looked at me with shame-filled eyes and thought I was too stupid to know what a headache spell did! I was at my lowest point and what did you do? What did my ever so loyal friends do when I needed them the most?” Twilight gave her a shake. “Say it. I want you to say it.”
“We… we…”
“SAY IT!”
“We walked away!” Rainbow Dash cried out, the normally brash flyer breaking down in tears. “We followed after the changeling. You were right about her-“
Twilight smacked Rainbow across the jaw. “You still don’t get it! If I had been wrong I would still be angry at you! Me being right has NOTHING to do with this! After the queen yelled at me and left crying I believed I was wrong. You saw that and you still had to be petty and walk away all in the name of keeping up impressions! You walked away so you could impress a pony you had met only a day ago… a pony that had treated all of you like crap! Two years, Rainbow Dash! Two years of laughter and tears and friendship thrown away so you could wear a frilly dress! Nice to know how much I’m worth to you.
“You know what friends do, Rainbow Dash? Real friends? They stay loyal, even when their friends act stupid. A real friend would have sat with me and told me that it was ok and helped me make up for my mistake. A real friend would have realized that taking one moment to comfort somepony they care about wouldn’t hurt their chances to put on a dream wedding. A real friend would have given me a few minutes. That's all I wanted... and all you gave me was a glare.
“Sometimes I wonder if the Elements screwed up. You’ve never really been loyal, have you? You insult your friends; you mock them and tease them till they hurt. Remember what you did to Spike, making fun of him about not being a real dragon till he decided to run away? How LOYAL of you! You knew Fluttershy didn’t want to help with that cyclone and you guilted her into it… not because you knew she needed to face her fear but because you wanted to break a record. You have mocked me so many times, calling me a nerd and an egghead and then come crawling back asking for my help with your problems, expecting me to drop everything and save your flank.” Twilight leaned in close, dark eyes flashing. “You are very loyal, Rainbow Dash… loyal to yourself.”
Twilight twisted around and gave Rainbow a solid buck, sending her tumbling into the metal, coughing in pain. The unicorn walked over, her horn glowing purple as she healed all of Dash’s injuries. The pegasus stared at her weakly, trying to understand why Twilight had helped her.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Rainbow Dash… but I don’t want to be your friend either. So save your sorrys… I’ve heard enough of them from you for a lifetime. Words are meaningless. Actions are worth gold.” The struts groaned as Twilight made an opening for herself. “Spike, we’re leaving.”
The baby dragon nodded, taking one last glance at Rainbow Dash.
‘Twilight needs me more now,’ Spike thought sadly, making is way over to his friend.
Twilight took a moment, looking over at Cadence, the alicorn having not moved a muscle since Twilight had ripped into her. Her darkening eyes stared at the ground as continued to mumble about her failures. “I don’t hate you, Cadence… and I am sorry if my words hurt you but they are the truth. You need to see how your actions affect others. I… I hope you can forgive me for being cruel.” Twilight sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. “You are either with me or against me. When you decide… give me a buzz.”
Picking the baby dragon up, Twilight surrounded herself with dark magic, transporting her and Spike out of Canterlot… just as Princess Luna, Pinkie Pie and several of Shadowbolts burst through the doors.
“By Celestia,” one of the guards murmured. “What… what happened here?”
“Twilight,” Rainbow Dash whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Twilight happened.”
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Not much to say about this chapter, other than we get a bit more about where Twilight's mind is and the root cause of her despair... that had turned into rage and hate.
I wanted this fight to be something you wouldn't expect. Everyone was expecting Twilight to go nuts on Rainbow, but that isn't hurt. Twilight fights smart, not hard. She would trap, not rush in. And a Dark Twilight would pull a con.
Yeah take that Rainbow Dash you self-centered biatch!
Maintain the dam improperly and eventually it will burst. It was only a matter of time before the floodgates opened and something like this happened.
Whyyy?
I was finally going to get some sleep...
Oh well, don't know the quote but I agree with the justice of the statement.
First off, another excellent chapter
more half-truths. Very clever and completely what somepony who is hurt would come up with.
That said... Twilight
Yes, Dash is self-centered, she's loyalty because in spite of that she always manages to be there when needed.
By Twilight's own words out doesn't matter that she was right about Chrysalis. But take that to the logical extreme and the pre-wedding scene looks like Twilight bullying Cadence.
Standing by a friend and letting them do that to somepony is not being loyal - indulging your friend's abusive impulses is more about being a clique or a gang than friendship.
Also, showing off her power and behaving provocatively? She's having her cake and trying to eat it too. "don't follow me, be completely worried about me, and here's why you should feel bad - but you get no chance to follow up. I'll show off power that scares the horse-apples out of you but I'm fine, really."
Truly this is the most believable Twilight becomes dark storyline I've ever heard of -she wouldn't piss me off half so much if this wasn't brilliant!
I really liked this chapter. You did well staying in character.
YES!
I know people have said it before, but I think the best part of this is that Twilight is completely right. I hope this doesn't end with some easy makeup where Twi apologies to everyone and they go back to the way it was; Twi has nothing to apologies for (other than the property damage.)
It was very well done. Acting the part to lure Dash into a trap. Not sure Twilight would really need too, but it proved a point. At least now one of them knows the root of Twilight's problem. The real issue is that there may be no solution to it. I'm very surprised Twilight didn't do more harm than she did, but if anything, it proves that she's still there. Whatever outside force is influence her and the situation as a whole isn't controlling anypony, just leaning on them in certain directions... at least for now, maybe.
I definitely didn't expect that approach, though I also knew Twilight's got the skill to back her power. The rare brains and brawn, you could say(
).
It was effective though
(This has definitely turned into a story I look forward to seeing updates for
)
ps. '...me was a glare.' & '...how much I’m worth to you.' are missing their closing quotation mark
EDIT:
I've reread it a few times and I actually think Rainbow was the best choice for Twi to encounter (Sorry past self, you were wrong)!
Straight forward Dash would assume Twi was insane (though they all think she's not herself). Dash's element certainly makes most sense to call her friends on. It'd take some 'big revelation' to make Dash change her mind.
Seeing that this was not 'crazy, predictable Twilight' but the same egghead they had turned their backs on (albeit with a taste for dark magic), really shows Rainbow that they all had it wrong; that maybe a talk and an apology won't fix things.
(Also, dual wielding dark and white magic!
)
I do love this story! I can't tell you how much I look forward to its regular updates.
You've managed to capture Twilight's rage beautifully. She's not evil, just so very angry and can't hold back about it any more. I'm really able to sympathize with her in this.
The only thing that worries me is the black magic thing sometimes implying someone else might be controlling her or manipulating her. I really hope that's not how you choose to play it, since I think the story works so well without needing to fall back on some cliched villain manipulating Twilight's rage. It works so much better with this truly being her actual rage, brought on only by the actions of her friends and family.
Looove this chapter, give Dash what for i say
well, i did not see that coming.
usualy i see that kind of stuff ahead fo time, but i guess this story is just that well writen!
BEAT IT!! (beat it) BEAT IIIIIT~~T (beat it)~
very well placed link
First thoughts: "awww man, I wanted twi to utterly defeat RD
"
second part: AWWWWWWWWW YISSSSS Physical and mental beat down
Like a baws
------------------------------------
wow 2 updates in 2 consecutive days, Me gusta
-keep it up mr author-boss-man-sir /)
Huh. This is actually believable. And so in character but yet an addition to it.
You added character development to already developed characters.
Hazzuh!
okay twis plan was awesomely clever and something she would come up[ with!
and Dash being outsmarted and talked down, that was great
wonder if fluttershy, rarity, aj and pinkie will get theres?
I don't know why, but I feel a good cover pic would be this fic.fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/265/a/7/twilight_sparkle_dark_power_by_ciriliko-d4akzdr.jpg I didn't draw it, though. This artist is the one who drew this awesome piece of art!
1374453 Huzzah, exactly!
Rainbow Dash you just messed up big time, you betrayed your own element once again!
A truly loyal friend doesn't try to apologize to someone they know they've hurt until they know they can be forgiven. 
And like with the Mare-Do-Well incident you haven't learned your lesson, don't try to assume you know what your lesson is because sometimes your own arrogance blinds you and makes you think that you are always right when you are not! 
I think Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy might be the best ones to explain to everypony what Twilight is going through, after all they've dealt with their inner demons before and Pinkie Pie went through something similar to what Twilight is going through.
And of course Twilight's family and her brother are making a mistake by trying to go out looking for Twilight, Celestia told them their prescene will only make things worse but do they listen NO!
And now RD has been contaminated...
I liked the calculating way that Twilight dealt with Dash... I always like Twilight being clever, and really, there's no way she should lose to Dash.
Her rant here is psychotically self-centered, however, and she's just not seeing it. She'd feel the same way even had she been wrong? Really? Had she made a completely innocent pony flee her own wedding rehearsal, sobbing, all while Twilight smirked about it, she would still feel completely betrayed that the people closest to her were appalled enough by her behavior to be angry with her in that moment? It's not like they rebuffed her apologies, or wouldn't allow her to make things right, or held a grudge and refused to let it go (all things Twilight is doing to them). Literally, within that initial moment, they were angry enough with her not to make her their first priority... And that's the unforgivable sin they all committed.
I'm curious to see how her argument will go with Shining Armor, as the "had she been wrong" one can't work there... Especially since, being brainwashed, he was completely incapable of seeing it in any other way. To him, she devastated the love of his life and bride-to-be, did it with glee, and ended up having her wedding invitation revoked. What level of behavior does she think would have justified getting uninvited to the wedding? She did all of that, and Armor didn't decide to hate her forever or even say anything truly hateful to her... He was just angry with her in that moment, and told her not to come to the wedding she just tried to ruin. But getting angry with her then was enough to earn him Twilight's eternal hatred?
Twilight is stewing in anger at everyone, and yet even allowing that they'd could have had a reason to be, she can't accept that anyone would be angry with her in the immediate aftermath of her own horrible behavior. She instead sees it as a betrayal.
I suspect it will be Luna who is finally able to pierce Twilight's arguments, since she is smart enough, removed enough from the situation, and experienced enough with falling to irrational hatred to slap some sense into Twilight and actually call her out on her childish, self-obsessed rage against the world. Or perhaps Twilight herself will be able to figure it out as the logic of her arguments begins to break down, and pick up that she might be getting a tweak from somewhere or someone else...
Oh, and on a side note, I know I voice frustrations with the events of the tale, but do believe me that I find the story well-written and intriguing... Otherwise, I wouldn't be reading it, let alone wanting to post about it.
Very intriguing chapter, and I am really loving this. I suspect that doubt actually let this shadow in. Twilight doubted herself and in that moment, she invited in something...else. Only with faith in yourself and others can the darkness be kept at bay.
I see harmony like this. It's yin and yang. Light moves in lock-step with darkness. As one grows, the other condenses. So in the darkest night, the candle-flame burns brightest. And in the greatest day, the single shadow cast is an oasis.
So whenever one grows, chaos happens.
Of course, there are ways for this to be subverted and to cast out the light or dark completely but we don't dwell on that.
And thus, Discord. Discord is essentially life without death. He embodies change but does not die. Hence, Chaos.
Keep this up!
Cheers
GM
1374571 or she will, one by one, chew out all of her friends, go to a far away place and promptly die when all of the magic leaves her body.
1374571 to be fair though, she is still sore from the sting the event has caused her, she really was trying to keep away, and of all the rotten luck that Cadence forgot her own advice, and Rainbow didn't listen to the instructions that they keep away...
personal experience dictates, when you're very, very,very angry, it takes little to tick you off and you avoid the people you are angry at otherwise regrettable things can happen. it only proves that Twilight is still thinking about others despite the rage...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
It's true what they say the truth hurt's. This chapter really show's that Twilight has brains to go along with all her power. Which mean's she not going to be east to beat.
I absolutely love how everything Dark Twilight says is true, and yet, there's another argument against what she says. It makes you really ponder and think which side you should take. Is Twilight justified in doing all this?
I was hoping for more encounters with the others!!
It's just such an amazing story, and now we have the chapter explaining exactly why she's so pissed off. And I nearly screamed when I read that Luna and the others got to Rainbow Dash JUST as Twilight teleported away
But anyways, special kudos to you for staying perfectly in character. I did expect Twilight just to tear Rainbow to shreds, but the mental torture that she ended up doing was so unexpected, and yet so in character to the origional Twi! It was brilliant!
This story is so fun to read because it's so unique, well written, and true to how the charcters origionally act!
I love it!! Can't wait for more!
1374544 First Twilight, then AJ, then Cadence, and now Rainbow! Who's next?!
1374514 Impressive metion of Sorrow (Elements of Despair, second in command of the Dark Elements and dark half of Pinkie Pie) and Hated (Element of Cruelty, dark half of Fluttershy and leader of the Dark Elements, also known as the Elements of Disharmony) really like that metion.
This chapter was seriously well made, Twilight did not reply with killing her friend but that does not mean she forgive her either and I am so glad that Spike has grown some balls and is now accepting Twilight's darkness, can't wait for him to embrace his own and never leave Twilight's side. I got a feeling that her brother and parents meeting her really won't end well...hoping Spike kills Shining Armor though and I thought the Shadowbolts were enemies...huh.
1374314
Once more, well done. High smartness + powerful magic + rage = unbeatable
I enjoyed to see Twilight not going further with Rainbow in this chapter, as I hope it won't fall into "murder and kill ponies". I also hope everypony and dragon will ultimately accept the new Twilight and her dark magic, and then that she'll forgive them and then, slowly reconstruct with them the broken bonds (just my hopes as a reader, as I like when sad stories get rather happy endings). But keep up the good work and keep writing what you think is good, I know you're doing it right.
I understand Twilight greatly here. When I was in 3rd grade my one of my friends became friends with someone I kinda hated. Me and a few others found that said hated person was making fun of my friend behind their back. I went to confront them (and the teacher, who for some reason hated me) and of course he denied that he did such a thing. I even brought in the others who saw him do it as well. They still didn't trust the story and I lost a friend. It wasn't until 5th grade said old friend found out I was telling the truth the hard way, but by then it was too late. He made fun of me because of what happened and I lost a friend and gained a new enemy.
So Twilight is not going to be so forgiving anytime soon on that subject.
I have nothing constructive or interesting to say aside from the usual compliments, so I'm not gonna say anything.
Buck yes! throw in some more night clubs and DJ's for Dark Twilight.
1374914
As I have told others, I am a redeptionist at heart.
As an aside, I have a question for all readers: Would you read a Noire MLP fic starring Thunderlane where he is a private eye investigating mysteries in ponyville? The idea I have is he would be a mix of Sam Spade from 'The Maltese Falcon' and The Question from 'Justice League Unlimited', a detective who believes there are conspiracies everywhere and doesn't trust anyone. The first story would be called "Apple and Oranges" and deal with the death of Valencia Orange, Applejack's aunt, at the Apple Family reunion.
1375016 why not?
I actually hope Cadence sides with Twilight. It would make the tragedy of it all even more significant.
Why are the SHADOWbolts swearing to celestia not Luna Eh?
Anyway cool chapter hope to see a new one soon :HopefullJayFace:
1375074
In this story, the Shadowbolts are Luna's guard but they still serve the kingdom...just as the Royal Guard would serve Luna.
that sounded to awsome to not be made lol
1375016
Interesting idea there.
1374387 I honestly the dark magic is the presence of mind where you finally realize what you were doing and ALL!!! the implications of the actions. the black magic is dark emotions given light. a way to vent other than being suppressed by the light, and the many blinding lies entailed by such binding magic. the emotional connection is also why black magic is so connected to the soul, because your emotions are more your self so your magic follows your presence of mind and acts accordingly. at least that is my take on it.
and i love this Twilight she takes no pain from anyone anymore maybe if cadence tries to be on her good side everyone can make up and things will get better. otherwise luna's vision is most likely to happen. especially if they continue annoying twi with their apologies.
cheers
Defender.....I don't get it. I just don't get it. EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER IS UTTERLY FREAKING AMAZING! I spent soo much time pondering after the last chapter on how it could go, I just couldn't begin to see how you were going to make it happen. Then I read this....wow. Seriously...you are too good of a writer. I too, was thinking "I cant believe rainbow dash won, twilight didn't even get a single shot? How can this be?" followed by, "wait a minute, it all went according to twilight's plan? YES! Freaking Yes! I knew you wouldn't be beaten so easily!" followed by, "wow....twilight has a legitimate gripe here, rainbow dash really did apologize for the wrong reason." I love twilight's rationale for why she's angry. I love how, despite being consumed with rage, she not blinded with rage. It seems as angry as she is, her mind is still crystal clear. Nothing she's done so far is crazy, and everything about the behaviors shes displayed suggest that she IS in her right mind. Her decisions are sound, and her arguments are nearly flawless. I just.....I just.....*sniffle*....wow. Your story bro....its so good. This needs to be made into a movie, to be honest. Once again defender, you are the writing god. I'll be obsessively checking for the next chapter, as always, every 4 hours or so. This story....its too good, its been written so well. I dare say its perfection. Thats right. Absolute, ultimate, perfection. Thanks for the feels, lols, entertainment, and the induced after-reading ponderings. You sir, deserve some kind of award. You need like a Grammy for fan-fictions or something.
oh yea, about the whole "would you read this story?" (the detective one), if it were any other writer, I would say "maybe...depends on what mood i'm in", but since its you, I say "I'll read that thing the first spare moment I have".
I just caught up reading the last four chapters.
My body was NOT ready.
I can feel her pain and frustration, and everything Twilight says has truth in it. You have woven quite a story here.
Also, devious Twilight is best Twilight.
I knew that Twilight was playing possum. Just, wasn't, ya know, expecting THAT. "that" being a cage. Kind of hard to believe it would be so complete though.
i also agree with 1374350. If we look at the incident from their perspective, Twilight was being a whiny brat. After all, it's not like anyone but her SAW Cadence, for example, throw out the samples AJ gave her. What where they supposed to do? Say, "Oh, there there Twilight. You didn't mean to make Cadence cry. Have a hug"?
Which is exactly why she went to apologize in the show. She got a reasonable explanation for Cadence's behavior and felt like a tool for bursting in and accusing her of being evil.
Which is why I'm very glad to see you using this corrupting influence thing. Otherwise, I would have thought less of you for not seeing that.
1375329 I'm kind of hoping the same; the dark magic is just Twilight's anger and rage which turns her purple magic black.
Friends make the best kind of enemies. Or is that worst?
Great chapter, as usual. And I just can't wait for the next one.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/202/0/7/scared_rainbow_dash_by_sulyo-d583wtk.png
Rainbow... you got knock the BUCK out!
1374845 I doubt it will go THAT far but it'll be a miracle if Twilight ever forgives any of them and Rainbow Dash's recent brawl only made things worse, I mean seriosuly even Applejack and Rarity would have known better than to approach Twilight right now.
This fic. This fanfiction is one which I have hoped to see for a long time. Your portrayal of Twilight is what I have hoped to find in so many online stories. Very, VERY few people (or ponies) actually believe that they are truly evil, even if most of the world regards them as evil. It is one thing to say that a "villian" was wronged and chose to do evil deeds as a result, but to truly give a detailed and fair analysis of a character's thoughts and dark choices is rare. In reality everyone has personal bias and even when admitting fault they still partially hold on to their earlier convictions. You have done a wonderful job of depicting several characters' world view and showing how these conflict. Even if you are implying that some dark force is forcing these beliefs and doubts into the open, it is still refreshing to see them voiced at all. I eagerly await more.
I just marathoned the story to this point and all I can do is smile in awe of this... honestly terrifying story of pain and sorrow. Even with all this I see the potential for healing still, but at the same time I'm wondering if Cadence is going to go nightmare or because her very being in this world is one who made to restore harmony and affection would end up sending her into some type of coma or not.
I just marathoned the story to this point and all I can do is smile in awe of this... honestly terrifying story of pain and sorrow. Even with all this I see the potential for healing still, but at the same time I'm wondering if Cadence is going to go nightmare or because her very being in this world is one who made to restore harmony and affection would end up sending her into some type of coma or not.