In the loving town of Ponyville, there exists an old orphanage run by a despicable head mare named Dusty, home to foals with no home to speak of. These lost fillies pray every day for someone to love them and take care of them. Aurora is one such lost filly.
Being passed over for adoption multiple times and cursed with extreme medical issues, Aurora doesn’t have much to look forward to in life. Her routine is constantly the same and every time that bell rings, she wishes it would stop. But she doesn’t have to go through it alone. For she has a best friend named Spotted Leaf, who is always optimistic about both of their futures and always knows what to say to make her feel better.
But they don’t have long. Monday is the last day of the year for adoptions and Aurora knows that there is a possibility she and Spotted could be separated forever. With time not on their side and a seemingly bleak future for her, can love truly mend her broken heart…?
A big thanks to my Helpers,
Admiral Producer
,
Silverstone28001
, and
Element of Malice
Thank You, for all the help on the story, and for being there. When I have been looking for three years for someone to write with again.
Thanks too DarkStylerz for the Oc
And thank you for reading my story
Revision by
Proud co-author of this masterpiece.
Yee thanks, for your work, I hope to do more!
For the first chapter of your first story I thought that this was really well done. It’s got a very believable atmosphere, there was good character building, interesting world building and the characters feel real.
I feel like this really came from a personal passion for writing.
I’d like to see where you go with this.
Great job to the both of you.
hmmm first fiction. It's not that bad... It's pretty good. I do like how the characters interactions and detail. 8/10 for me.
I contributed a little and wished I could have done more, but I was in the midst of moving, so my time to do much was cut short.
11281504
You did too? Awesome! I hope I didn’t take away all your credit during my marketing spree. Which part was yours?
11281530
It was only the first part and primarily spell checking, up until around the mention of the isolation in the corner of the playground. I also added the line of the washcloth being old, but not much more after that.
11281531
Very interesting. My part was initially spell checking too, but I soon actually got involved in the writing process. I basically did almost every other paragraph starting from the feeding scene. I’m also responsible for some of the emotional tension in regards to Aurora’s adoption dilemma in some areas, as well as the part in where she tries to be cheery for Spotted Leaf and fails, which was my favorite bit of comedy in the whole thing. It’s nice hearing your perspective on the story.
11281541
I like storylines of this nature and had hoped to be with it to the end, but as stated before, I was occupied IRL. If you'd like to see more of what I can do, you could check out my stories. Although, to warn you in advance, I'm not so much a story writer as I am a storyteller. (I cheat my edits by using Grammarly.)
11281820
I’d love to check out your stories. Don’t worry, I won’t judge your writing level.
11281823
Looking forward to your comments.
11282012
Thanks!
Yay Thank you every one!
I get what you're trying to do with this story, and it kind of works, but there's a lot of little things that don't fit.
Her horn being a piece of jewelry, her bed wetting messing up her face and mane, the exposition that keeps popping up... Just to name a couple of things.
And the cover image doesn't reflect the teenage mare you've described you us.
It's a good start, but not a great one.
Keep writing, you'll only get better with time.
11284099
Thank you, sorry about the art that was the original picture I had of Aurora. I just don't know any one who'd do art for this. If you know of anyone it would be appreciated.
11284422
I gave you a cover image on Discord.
Yay, the Revised version is out hope you all enjoy it!
What is the point of disliking someone's story without leaving a comment? How does that help the author get any better... I mean I'm suicidal enough without someone saying Freek to me in my PMs. Idk what I did but thanks I guess...
Aww, poor little filly... I Love how you wrote this hope to see more
Hi, Lost Hope you can figure out how to get your stories back.
11343550
Eh haters gonna hate with or without reason, while I personally like this story so I don’t understand the hate put at the same time I do, as long as it a valid reason.
Also hopefully you get better soon, just do what makes you happy and focus on the positives, because you my friend are not a “Freek”