Script

by Chemtest

Upon

It’s a late afternoon in the village of Ponyville, the sun shining it’s last rays before it sets, tired foals resting after their playing and many ponies returning home from work or visits. One such pony is Twilight Sparkle, having said goodbye to her friends before going back home.

As she trots inside her tree house, closing the door behind her, she suddenly stops, looking at the center of the room. Stood there in the center of the room is a slightly taller mare with midnight blue fur, large wings coming from her back and long horn from her forehead. Princess Luna grins, “Greetings, Twilight Sparkle.”

She blinks, and then slightly bows her head, “Princess Luna, it’s… why are you here?”

Luna smirks, a bit of telekinesis lifting Twilight’s head back up, “No bowing, and just Luna. We are here from request by our sister, she said something about a ‘project’.”

Twilight blinks again, and then smiles, “Oh, Princess Celestia told me she would give me a new project by the end of the week. I just expected she would send a letter rather than send you.”

Luna grins, trotting closer, “You misunderstand, Sparkle, we are the project. Sister has declared that you are to help us understand modern magic and teach us the spells of the new age. In order to ensure that your teaching isn’t compromised, we have also given your drake a vacation to the Dragon Isles, with your bother keeping him safe.”

Twilight smiles more, “I get to teach you magic?! Oh, that’s wonderful! I mean, this is really a dream of mine come true, being able to teach somepony else equally smart about magic!”

Luna pauses in her trotting, and smiles, “You are very eager, Sparkle, and we shall enjoy learning. But do note, there is presumably not much you can teach us.”

Twilight grins, “Maybe not, Prin- I mean, Luna, but I can try! Magic has changed a lot since you were banished, with a lot of discoveries being made.” She trots over to a nearby table, “Of course, I’m going to go over everything anypony had written since the two thousands, but we should start by finding out what you know.”

Luna trots to the table as well, “We should start by laying down rules, we would say. Firstly, stop saying everypony, anypony, and all that bullshit.”

Twilight freezes, slowly looking over, “All that… what?”

Luna grins, “Bullshit, Sparkle. That ‘Everypony’ shit is just nationalistic and xenophobic bullshit came up with by our sister because the bitch wanted to spark an identity of species.”

Twilight gasps, “B-bit-did you just call the Princess a-a-that?! You can’t do that, even if you’re her sister!”

Luna smirks, sitting down, “Sparkle, she banished us to the moon for a millennia, we believe we reserve the right to call the bitch a bitch. This is the second rule, Sparkle, do not get offended or act shocked when we act ourself. We never asked to be a prim and proper Princess, we never wished to be one, so you can take your expectations of that and shove them up your ass.”

Twilight frowns, sitting down, “I… I just, Luna, I mean… where was all this when we met you before?! Why weren’t you… cussing during Nightmare Night?”

Luna smiles, “Well, sister already spilled her plan about wanting you to become an alicorn, so we shall spill more of her secrets. We never once in our life spoke with ‘thee’ and ‘thou’ except in the mockery of someone, we never once shouted at that volume in normal conversation, and we have always known the word ‘fun’, far better than sister ever has. When we returned, sister instructed us to act that way, that ponies would think the past different than it truly was. Do you wish to know who we truly are, Sparkle? We are a foul mouthed, fun loving warrior Princess, with the power to move the fucking moon.”

Twilight sits back, losing her frown, “Wow, I… didn’t know that at all, Luna.” She smiles slightly, “I suppose that means I haven’t met the true you, then, have I?” She offers a hoof, smiling widely, “Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia, Element of Magic, a pleasure to meet you.”

Luna looks at the hoof, grinning and bumping it, the strength behind the bump causing Twilight to flinch, “We are Luna, Spirit of Moon and Night, fucking badass, killer of armies, slaughterer of infidels, the Terror of Prance, the Neighgerian Blizzard, the Romauian Champion, yada yada, pleased to truly meet you.”

Twilight nervously chuckles, holding her bumped hoof, “Yeah, and you’re also really, really strong. I felt that bump in my entire body.”

Luna grins, “Yes, we are strong.” She raises a hoof, punching through the wall next to her, and the refrigerator on the other side of said wall, ripping a glass of water back out of the hole, then lighting her horn up, fixing the hole. She smirks as Twilight looks at her, “So, you wish to become Archmage, we have heard?”

Twilight nods, looking at Luna’s leg, “Yes… how is your leg fine after doing that? My walls are reinforced with many-“

Luna interrupts, grinning more, “That means you’ll have to get through Sprig the Studious, doesn’t it?”

Twilight slowly nods, “Yes, but your leg shouldn’t have been able-“

Luna smirks, interrupting again, “Good, you’ll do fine then. Sprig is a fucking idiot. Now, if you don’t mind, we were stood in the center of this room for most of the day waiting for you to enter so we could introduce ourselves properly, we shall now go sleep, good night.” She stands, trotting away before Twilight can say anything.

Twilight blinks, dumbfounded, looking after Luna’s flank as she disappears into another room. She leans back, as Spike then walks up to the table, grabbing the glass of water and drinking it. He grins, tapping the side of the glass with a single black claw, looking at Twilight, “Looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

Twilight slowly nods, “No kidding, Spike, no kidding.”

The first piece is in play.
And you can’t even see it, Twilight Sparkle, not at all.
Check in one move.
Checkmate in two.

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Goodness, Nightmare was a veritable pillar of decorum, one wonders where that came from.

[Teraunce]

11274178
This is a very different, if not unwelcome, take on Luna that I could have seen being canon.