Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon are both personal students of Princess Celestia. Ever since being acknowledged by the Princess of Equestria, the two have grown up together as friends. Perhaps a bit of an odd couple, but friends nonetheless. But things change during the upcoming Millenial Summer Sun Celebration when Trixie is sent to Ponyville to oversee the preparations without Twilight.
When the time comes for Celestia to appear and raise the sun, she's gone missing. In her place is a fallen Alicorn known only from pony tales that parents tell their foals to scare them. An Alicorn that sparked an annual tradition. The Alicorn of Nightmares, the Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon.
Now Trixie has to find a set of magical artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony. But she's not alone. She is joined by five other Ponies (or rather, four Ponies and one Zebra) on a quest into the Everfree Forest. Along with Vinyl Scratch, Thunderlane, Fluttershy, Maud Pie, and Zecora, will Trixie have what it takes to find the Elements of Harmony and defeat Nightmare Moon? Or will Equestria be doomed to the Nighttime Eternal?
Rated Teen for a graphic nightmare in chapter 4.
This story is the beginning of The Great and Powerful Trixieverse. An AU focused on a pony so egotistical that the AU has to be named after her full name.
Trixie: "Hey!"
Now with a YouTube live reading by Martialartfruituser/Legendbringer Alchemystudent. You can see it here.
I also had a physical book made on Lulu. The book has any spelling/grammar errors (that I could find) corrected. If you're interested in a physical copy, click here.
So, we have Trixie, Vinyl, Zecora, Maud, and two different versions of Pinkie and Fluttershy?
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As you can see, I modified their cutie marks. But no, it's not Pinkie. It's Surprise. I chose the lightning bolts because Surprise in G4 is a Wonderbolt. And in case you're wondering, Fluttershy's alternate cutie mark is based on her cutie mark in A Minor Variation.
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Oh, I see.
Intriguing first chapter. REALLY liked the dialogue between Trixie, Twilight and Spike before Ocellus arrived, particularly with Spike calming both Twilight and Trixie down. So, it seems that Twilight and Spike are going to be in charge of things in Canterlot while Celestia "focuses on other business" and Trixie oversees the Summer Sun Celebration. Also really liked how well Maud took Ocellus being a Changeling during her first meeting with Ocellus and Trixie.
REALLY looking forward to more of this.
Well those are some interesting changes to the denizens of Ponyville. Looking forward to more!
Another well done chapter. REALLY worth the wait. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up were all wonderful. Definitely liked Trixie's dialogue with Rarity (including that cute bit with Ocellus and Sweetie) as well as the meetings with Vinyl and Octavia and the discussions of different city lifestyles.
Really looking forward to more of this.
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I wanted to show how the Maneverse 6 would've been impacted by the changes as well. Simply put, Rarity's cutie mark story is barely any different. The only change was that that's when she met Maud. Her friendship with Maud and the Pie family shifter her fashion focus from being a seamstress to a jeweler. It's just a tiny tweak that creates a very different feel for a character.
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I also meant Octavia and Vinyl being sisters, and Silver Spoon being Octy's daughter. I think this fic is the first I've seen of either idea.
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I'm proud of it too. The three of them have such vague backgrounds that there's plenty of wiggle room. Many people want to make Octavia and Vinyl Scratch lovers, but that's 100% fan-based, and even in canon, the only evidence for this is the fact that they live together. That could mean that they're just roommates. But I thought to at least make some connection between them. So I figured, why not make them sisters?
Then with Silver Spoon, we know nothing about her family. All we know about her is her relation to Diamond Tiara. Since I figure that Silver Spoon and Octavia do look similar. I suppose I could've made them sisters, but that wouldn't work well with the background I have intended. But I see Octavia as mature enough to be a mother, which would make Vinyl the "fun aunt" which I also can see. And as a CMC to be, it'll be harder to avoid her family like it was when she was just a bully's sidekick. And I'm not afraid of that spoiling anything because it's a no-brainer. (If it wasn't a no-brainer for you, then I apologize for spoiling it for you... or not if you don't mind that as a spoiler.)
Simply put, the relationship between Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, and Silver Spoon is carried over from my previous AU, including the part with Silver Spoon being a Cutie Mark Crusader. And I do have a name for Silver Spoon's father, but I need to make a background for him (or leave that for someone else to make a story about). Her father's name is Silver Tongue, and I like to think he's a politician. Maybe the mayor of another town.
Also, as a side note, if you liked the interaction between Sweetie Belle and Ocellus, then I think you'll love the interaction between Silver Spoon and Ocellus. I'm also proud of the song scene that I made for the next chapter.
Amazing chapter. Hope to see more
Again, this is a well-done chapter. Really liked the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. REALLY liked that duet between Ocellus and Silver (when Silver was demonstrating a style that was a combination of classic and modern) as well as Ocellus and Trixie discussing visiting Ponyville once in a while after they are done with the Summer Sun Celebration and why. I suppose I can understand how Apple Bloom can be that much of a troublemaker that she could get Ocellus THAT hot under the collar - given certain family issues that I won't spoil. But, yeah, Glad Granny and Trixie were both being that understanding about the incident (Trixie especially given, by her own acknowledgement, not much is known about the Changeling species beyond them being shape-shifters that can pick up on strong emotions).
REALLY looking forward to more of this.
Oh now that's interesting. I'm assuming there's an orange and blonde reason for Applebloom to have such a disdain for "cityfolk". Not sure if I want her and Ocellus to be friends, based on this chapter alone. But I'm sure if you do take this story that way my mind will change.
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Without giving too much away, there is a little more to Apple Bloom's bad attitude than just a certain missing Apple sibling, though that is the primary reason. Without their parents around, Applejack basically took on the role of a psuedo-mother figure. With her out of the picture, plus a little resentment towards a certain carrot farmer "trying to take advantage of the apple farm", she basically became more rebellious, which also led to her "getting involved with the wrong crowd" (I think that's vague enough not to be a spoiler while still being enough to get your brain juices flowing).
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Roger that. Won't pry, but thanks for the additional info.
I personally think the description you gave of the violence is a bit much for an E rating, yeah.
But good chapter nonetheless!
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Thanks for that. I bumped the Rating up to T for Gore. I didn't include the Death tag because of the fact that it was just a dream, so there was no real death. I originally didn't think to rate this about E before now because I didn't know I was gonna make a chapter like this before now.
That was one downright brutal nightmare. Really feeling for Ocellus there. And, yeah, good meta nod to the fact that Chrysalis and Trixie have the same voice actress. REALLY appreciated Trixie attempting to comfort Ocellus while trying to clean up the mess and noting yet another thing she had just learned about Changelings. The reflection concerning Blueblood and how, even though he is a major snob, still wouldn't stoop to deliberately making orphans think their foster parents would abandon them.
Definitely appreciated the work on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up and really looking forward to more of this.
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That wasn't supposed to be a meta nod considering that the demon wasn't supposed to be Chrysalis. I didn't even know Trixie and Chrysalis had the same voice actor. Although, I think I can appreciate making Ocellus Trixie's daughter that much more. The point of the voice staying as Trixie's voice was to make it more traumatizing to Ocellus, having to hear her mother's voice coming from this demonic figure and acting cruel. It's a way to remind Ocellus that it's still technically Trixie's body.
Basically, I tend to prefer going more on the psychological side of horror when I do nightmare sequences. A Boogieman-type monster can be scary in a more cartoonish way. But real fear comes from the unknown, which is why I had the monster be described as a living shadow before it took over Trixie. It's not intended to be identifiable. It's an unknown. That's also why I didn't make Ocellus's death in the dream gorry. I think it's creepier to have the monster that killed your friends and possessed your mother to just sit there and do nothing to you and watch as the hatred alone poisons you to death. That messes with your head more than any monster of the week could.
I'm also a fan of the Nightmare On Elm Street movies. Whoever said "truth is stranger than fiction" never truly appreciated just how bizarre dreams can be.
I hope you make the next chapter soon it is a amazing read
Once again, loved the spins on the first meetings with Fluttershy, Thunderlane and Rumble. Particularly liked Trixie's acknowledgement that her introductions can be overdone as well as the comparison between Spitfire and Twilight. And, yeah, feel bad that Silver is allergic to vaccines.
Anyway, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are wonderfully done and I'm really looking forward to more of this.
Thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. Took a while but was WELL worth the wait. REALLY loved the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. REALLY LOVED Ocellus's chats with Silver Spoon, Sweetie Belle and Rumble (including such things as Sweetie lightly teasing Silver about the "ice cream incident", Ocellus and Rumble's chat about claustrophobia and Ocellus's explaining why she felt more comfortable in a basement than what many would consider "more appropriate lodgings") as well as Trixie's first meeting with Applejack (specifically Trixie noting how different Bloom seemed around Applejack) and the little catch-up scenes with Twilight and Spike (particularly Spike reassuring Twilight and Twilight's scene with Bon Appetite [the latter showing Twilight is a more capable leader than she thinks she is]).
Anyway, really looking forward to more of this.
And, before I forget, Happy Thanksgiving/Harvest and Hugs Day in advance to you and your family and friends.
Whoa mama. Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up. REALLY liked the reflections on the crowd at the Summer Sun Celebration. Also appreciated Trixie's reflections on Filthy Rich and his family (especially her dead-on assessment of Spoiled's character and the stuff about Apple Bloom and Diamond actually being friends). And Trixie's magic show in preparation for what she thinks to be Celestia's arrival was excellent too. Of course, Nightmare Moon arrived and the massive amount of negative emotions has put Ocellus's health in extreme danger. Certainly triggered Trixie's Mama Bear side. The dialogue between Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow concerning Maud's "tells" (hard to spot except for those that REALLY know her well) was great too, as was the extended bits on the evidence against Ocellus being a spy.
Anyway, really looking forward to more of this.
And, again, Happy Thanksgiving/Harvest and Hugs Day in advance.
Is this story part one of a series?
Not much I can say beyond excellent work on the dialogue, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up. REALLY appreciated Twilight and Trixie's quick messages to each other as well as Trixie's new friends' reasons for either going with her or staying behind to protect others, as well as Twilight's scene with Blueblood and Fancy Pants. Also loved how well Fluttershy's canon trial works as a Laughter test just as much as a Kindness test in this universe. And, yeah, Thunderlane showing signs of Loyalty (not only doing this for his little brother, but also concerning the points concerning the risks), even if that was the only other Element I've been able to pin-point thus far (another reader might have better luck) and Zecora providing Nightmare Moon's backstory was another good bit.
VERY MUCH looking forward to more of this.
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Yes, it's just part 1.
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I'll say that you made a mistake about the guess you made. But I am taking a different take on the idea, which is likely why you made the mistake you did. But it also shows how the lines between what defines each Element tend to be a bit blurry.
Hey there. Definitely did an excellent job on the dialogue, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up. Most certainly appreciated Twilight's reflection on how frustrating the nobles are being and how surprisingly helpful Blueblood is being as well as how you reworked the canon trials so that they make more sense for the characters (for example using a modified version of Applejack's canon trial to combine an Honesty trial for Maud AND a Loyalty trial for Vinyl and the way Trixie helped Steven), the discussions of how all six of them got their Marks and Nightmare Moon rethinking her strategy.
Anyway, really looking forward to more of this. And Happy Holidays to you and your family and friends.
Yikes. You did a very good job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. But, yes, I DO like Trixie's recall of the previous experience with Poison Joke (including the Lunaverse Mythology Gag) and, yes, I can see where Nightmare would alter her strategy. And Twilight showing the patience to break that one noble's polite demeanor AND pointing out that she is NOT as gullible as he thought was beautiful stuff. And, of course, Nightmare Moon twisting her enemies' greatest desires makes a lot of sense. And the stuff with Ocellus and her friends, whoa. We know Trixie and her friends will make it in time, but we are wondering how and I have enough respect to NOT ask for spoilers.
Anyway, really looking forward to more of this. And Happy Holidays to you and your family and friends.
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The part about what the noble asked for is loosely based on another fic (I don't remember which one) where a noble asks Celestia to fund building a personal pool because then they could better entertain their guests.
This was an absolutely great chapter with wonderfully done dialogue, characterizations and epilogue/future adventure set-up. Definitely liked the show of the group's personal fantasies after they found the secret passage leading to the elements. Also loved Flutters tickling Nightmare and that touch of Trixie's element including a detachable wand.
REALLY looking forward to the epilogue ESPECIALLY Trixie seeing Ocellus making improvement in her condition and the others' reunions with THEIR families and friends.
All in all, this chapter is a really good way to ring in the new year.
Excellent work on the dialogue, characterizations and future story set-up in this epilogue. I absolutely loved how the gang saved Ocellus at the end as well as Celestia reasoning how well Ocellus would benefit from the friendlier environment of Ponyville, Twilight, Fancy Pants and Blueblood's reactions to seeing the sun AND the work on the modified intro song. And, yes, good use of Trixie's OC evil sister Checker Monarch from the "Getting Back on Her Hooves" universe (but has had made a good enough bad guy to have several adaptations outside of that story).
Anyway, very much looking forward to the next story in this series.