Twilight has issues with the new mare in town. Pinnacle is smarter, prettier, more connected and more talented than everyone combined. Why can't Twi love the gaudy newcomer with the contrived and complicated past? As the lone voice of dissent she finds the only possible solution; a sledgehammer.
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It was cool. I'm puzzled though, is she trapped?
....
That was amazing. I had the biggest, stupidest grin on my face throughout the entire duration of this story. Five big ones.
the fuk
still enjoyed it though
Funny story, but really, GET BACK TO WRITING SCHOOL DAZE.
I need an Inception horn for this kind of shit.
This was great! Even as a Twixie fan and other unlikely things.
Great Job!
85255
Yes, Sir....
I'm at almost 5K words; should be sent out to the pre-readers tonight.
85255
I want to "like" this post facebook style. I've been kvetching to him about that too... lol.
I need to think of a phrase to describe this. How about... morbidly... hilarious? Is morbidly hilarious a thing already? Well, I don't care if it is or not, I'm using it. This was morbidly hilarious. Thank you, good night.
I wanna be
oww
I wanna be your sledgehammer
This was amazing
Thus proving Twilight Sparkle is in fact best pony.
One of the best pony fics I've ever read! Oh please people take yourselves out of Ponyville! 5 stars!
Moar?
PLease?!
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSuudzHpSr89uRpbRer35kksrAkayOdCDRXYoEozj5_bcMOTf08
A Sequel/continuation Is Needed
NOW
During the climax with the Party and the sledgehammer, i could feel my heart beating. A fast and steady THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.
It was awesome, ive never read a story that gave me an adrenaline rush like that.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
85542
That bird... that bird wants more MOAR, more than any other cockatoo in the history of the world. It made both of us lol - literally.
While this was a one shot that seized him (in the middle of when he should have been writing the next chapter of School Daze, apologies to our regular readers of that for the delay!), he does have a horror themed series in mind for the future - annnnnd, that's all I can say regarding that.
85345
Good... Good...
Wow...I just...wow. I came. I read. I lol'd my head off.
This was one of the rare stories I've seen where the summary actually made me laugh. And I must say, the story itself didn't disappoint. It was a beautiful display of hilarious mind-f*ckery that left me feeling strangely violated, as if I'd been molested by a Swedish reindeer in a vat of strawberry Jell-O. I love it.
My brain is so full of buck right now. As someone who frequents TVTropes, I know all about Mary Sues, and this was...cathartic. It does good for the soul to see a mary sue get what's coming.
haha the best fucking thing
I loved the ending maaaaaaaan
I'll admit it, I laughed at parts. The random makeouts were very "wat" inducing, but were made all the better once you found out why it was all happening. Nice twist at the end, I didn't expect that to happen. 3.5/5 for a funny story, but docked some points due to some spelling and grammar errors here and there. Very amusing.
Bahahahaha!
That was great. Always wondered what it'd be like if ponies became aware of a Mary Sue.
I have a question though... why was she upset at the end? Did she *spoilers* genuinely miss Trixie?
Ok this was pretty bucking amazing.
Oh and merry christmas!
i agree the sledge hammer is the only solution.
85221
eeyup.
I don't get the ending
Listening to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" made this at least 20% more hillarious.
Anyway, love this story, always enjoy a Parody Sue fic. And no, don't add the Discord tag, it would only ruin the surprise.
You get 5 out of 5 Dash faces
well, that was interesting
not sure where/when but i think i've seen this idea somewhere before, still its not bad
Awesome story! Mary Sues always had it coming.
Question, i'm sure the answer was supposed to be obvious but why did Twilight break down crying in the end? Was it because she was just reminded by the fact that she just killed what looked like her friends?
86208
That's generally what I was going for; the delyaed emotional impact.
Any blunt object would work on a Mary Sue
Dang. That was good.
I have no room to correct. This is a first.
Great job, loved the climax to end. Kept me riveted the entire time!
Again, thank you for writing this. It's quite a treat for those of us tired of Mary Sues.
-The Librarian
If only she had tasted the rainbow... I think I can guess what Discord made Dash taste like but not knowing for sure...
Well... Very good. The writing is very exciting and I love the twist where the villain is revealed. And lets be honest... The part where Twilight bashed Pinnacle's head in was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very satisfying.
Daaaang, I actually didn't see that ending coming! Very good surprise, very good build-up, a good use of wit. It's a story like this that reminds me why Twilight is the sane and rational one (most of the time).
That.
That was BRILLIANT. So morbidly, terribly brilliant!
First off, the concept alone had me sold. It was so meta. Haha.
But the way you managed the humor throughout had me enthralled. I love how you have me laughing from the first few paragraphs and then contrast it with this terrible, sickening image of, well, people who read it will see. Wow. It made it so much worse. I couldn't laugh after that, so when she started crying, it just worked. It worked so well!
DUHFUQ....what did i just read...
over all i enjoyed this read
Good story,iread pretty fast so that was kinda off for me to read. nice twist. I miss read the ending though, Ii thought pinky locked her in as a prisoner.
Ah, the omnibus. It was a bit long, but insightful. It's always fascinating when you begin to see the seams in a form of media.
As for the story itself, it was a bit short, but it gave voice to the opinion of many bronies toward "original" characters. It's not going to become a manestream title like Cupcakes, Fallout Equestria, or On A Cross And Arrow, but it's still an amusing little tale.
Excellent story with a great twist. It was confusing just enough to portray Twilight's decent but did a great job in keeping you in her logical mind.
I forgot to mention in my comment, have you considered submitting this to EQD?
This is amazing. I loved it,
and I'm glad to see I wasn't crazy when I thought, "Hmm... that character is breaking every rule EqD suggested..."
link to editor's omnibus?
also.... the ending is a bit.... vague? Why is she crying hysterically? Is she still trapped in it, "inception" style? Please button that up; I want to SLEEP again!
Awesome. Words cannot describe the positive emotion this has evoked in me. I too have been annoyed by Mary Sues and in turn THIS one made my stomach churn, slightly, I agreed with Twilight through most of the story. Especially the part about being the princess's new student. Not to mention beating rainbow dash in a race ( how would she do that without wings unless she's directly related to the pony equivalent of The Flash ) and the strange cutie mark. Nice hints by the way, they were well hidden. One more thing:
Fake Trixie had it coming. One you don't surprise people in their home ( especially the bedroom, let aalone the bed ). Two you don't surprise people by making out with them ( even if they would otherwise want that ). And three shouldn't take the advice of someone like that on someone who could literaly vaporize you if you "surprise" them.
86709
No; she's in the real world, just crying from the emotional release.
Also...
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/12/editors-omnibus-submitting-fanfiction.html#c7103956566272268745
A brilliant story!
I was waiting for Pinnacle to apple buck a tree and have every apple fall into a single bucket.
You did extremely well. Thank you for writing it!
Oh my false Gods, YES!
dohoho I taste gold in this fic
I can't recall the last time i had read a fanfic like this
Realizing that everything is fake and you have to do something to mask the truth
I've had this feeling in real life but the way you wrote it out was just amazing!
WHAT A
Just because I'm bored and I can:
My dear sir or madame, Discord himself pales in comparison to your chaotic finesse. Kudos.
86863
No, you're just tasting Pinnacle.