Just another University-edicated fanfiction writer who prefers the cheers and laughter of ponies to madness and sorrow.
There are so many popular depictions and interpretations of ponies. So amusing. So "cool" and "edgy" and "hipster friendly" and "crunk" and whever other words are used to describe twisting, turning and abusing ponies. Candy-colored ponies deserve better than to be abused, molested and killed.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is awesome!
The whole apple of Discord thing was a really interesting take on the legend, and it certainly caused chaos in Ponyville! I look forward to any more stories you may write in this series.
My only real complaint for the second sory is that you chose to call the villain a Discordian. A bit of a brave move on your part, since Discordianism is a legit religion in real life.
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I've studied Discordianism, Discordians would probably be insulted if you called their religion legit, heh.
What trechory is this? Every mare is a lesbian? How dare you!?
Notice how Ditzy is the only one not really affected....it pays to be somewhat simpleminded.
One problem, they're all filly foolers.
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It's what they call a head-canon. Because gender ratios seem to be in 7:1 or 8:1 range and they have access to magic and modern science, it's not unfeasable they'd keep that going on. As in prior stories in this chain, filly foolers are traditional and respectable, just as good as straights. To take up the social slack, colt cuddlers are hated extra hard. Plus, I always shipped the mane six. From the very start. The others just sort of happened. Especially Ditzy and Carrot Top. She needed a grounded wife.
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Amusingly enough, you're falling into the very trap Discord's golden apple mirror was meant to be.
The nightmare visions inside the mirror are exaggerations of popular alternate canons for those that look into it. So Pinkie sees a serial killer, Dash sees herself with broken wings and despair and Celestia sees herself as a crazy, everpony-touching monster. The reason Ditzy is unaffected is twofold. In the story it's because that, too, causes chaos, having someponies seen nightmares and others see only oddities makes both sides seem unreliable to each other. Outside of the story, Ditzy's most popular images feature her as muffin-crazy, fridge-emptying and sometimes borderline retarded. There's nothing nightmarish to hit her with. So she cannot get a reactio from the mirror.
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There's another pony who also would probably not be affected: Caramel. Since he has no personality, there's nothing for the mirror to disturb.
Yet another awesome story, really liked the remnants of Discord still lingering around even after his defeat to ensure all chaos isn't totally forgotten.
Also, nice Cameo with the 'Constable.'
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Well, he earned the right to flash that badge. It's not OFFICIALLY official, outside of his limited capabilities. But if he has cause he can do a little more than a citizen's arrest.
Another great job sir, except for one glaring issue. In the restaurant scene, it got very difficult to understand who was talking as we just had paragraphs of dialogue; I'd suggest putting in some indicator of who is speaking, as inferring is possible but quite difficult.
I really loved the alternate selves, especially Molestia, but an even more special emphasis on Ditzy; her first line just cracked me up. Loved the inclusion of our favorite sorta-Nightwatchpony, might as well direct his less than lawful do-gooding.
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Ahhh, sorry. I tried to keep it clear enough by having their personalities inform the dialoge, but I should have tagged them more. I'm in the "less is more" school of writing when it comes to avoiding endless variations of "X said".
It was always about poking the bear at the zoo over alternate canons, especially Willing Victim Twilight, Molestia, Pinkamena, Little Miss Rarity and to a lesser extent Big Man Big Mac. That was more a laugh at the over the top absurdity.
It was really just a few paragraphs in the middle where they talk about, I think, Berry Punch's little sister, which, like I said, you can figure it out, but it's not the clearest. I forgot to mention I loved the inclusion of the cuisine names, not sure how many other than I would understand all of them.
Oh, last thing, in your blog post that shows how the stories connect, you might want to mention specific chapters of this, as the first and the second are the majority of the stories apart.
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Not quite. The second refernces the first when Berry talks about getting help for her alcoholism. They're separated by some time but generally flow from the same timeline.
Well the Mirror has to be after The Nightwatch and The Equestrian Resident, possibly even after The Unsuitable to keep the timeline consistent, while you place the entirety of Contra the Heresis as branching from The Elements of Discord before Bad Apple's stories. So I'm saying, just because I'm finicky that way, that since we know where Mirror has to be placed that greater definition of time would be helpful to keep the timeline straight. I'm not saying they are on separate timelines and I know they are connected, the stories themselves seem to be separated by enough time for Berry to be out of rehab and all the other events to have taken place.
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Ahh, I see what you mean. And you are correct. I thought I could just indicate that this series was apawned out of "Elements" (Because it technically was) however the time period DOES require a different branching off point. It DOES complicate matters some. Now there need to be dotted lines. Contra 1 would certainly be after the events of "Elements" just for the sake of giving time for other things. 2 would be after a long passage of time (Rehab isn't quick, as the Doctor told them) and, you're right, would be after The Unsuitable. Good catch.
Wow your way with words comes out really well in this. The insane rants flow so well I can read them out loud, front to back, without stumbling once. So good.
Oh, that was nice.
I like your Equestria, where same sex couples are everywhere and can have magic babies together. Maybe someday the real world will be as nice as that.
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Not magic. Science. Science-magic. And law. It's basically artificial insemination (as evidenced by the mention of Pinchy being from a donation via Colgate's brother) plus the law absolutely and firmly, in every sense, sees the child as the child of the pair. So legally and by tradition, they are both mommies
But yes. i wanted this Equestria to be a place that others love, to be a place that folks want to be in.
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I took quite a bit of time to ensure I studied up on good Elizabethan rants. I want Luna to be a memorable character.
Wow, first post? You need to pimp this one in your blog.
Before I start, no errors... at all... with 14k words. What magic is this?
To content!
So Dolly is related to Milky Way?
Timeline-wise, this is where? I can tell it's pre-marriage of course, but I think it's time to update the timeline post.
Cool story, more damn Discordians, Scanners-style boom; all makes me happy.
Gilda is trying so hard, squee! These are the couples you are good with right here.
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Hehe, seems like it, doesn't it? Milky Way is sort of the Dolly Parton of the pony world, kindness and all. She just needs her own theme park.
No errors? Probably because I've been sitting on it for so long and every so often I read it over before adding more and picked out little errors. I'm amazed the end part managed to escape errors.
Time-wise it stretches for a while. It's after Dames 5, but before (maybe just before) Bad Apple 5.
goodman. Goodman
abstain for intimacy. from
Yay, more D&D, this time with fun references. So does Pinkie's petromancer summon golems to do her bidding, preferably shaped, and possibly voiced by, Rocky? Does she grow mineral spires to attack her enemies Fullmetal Alchemist style? I kind of want more of this now.
For the rest of the story, I have to give you credit. I was expecting the dancing kind of swinging and you threw me a curveball out of left field insert more baseball idioms. Definitely unexpected.
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I picture her Petromancer as doing both at different times. When stone is available it can be of the spike variety, as well as the ability to shape things. At higher levels, the golem thing. Plus other effects like finding gems. And yes, like Rocky
I wanted plenty of misdirection, glad it worked.
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Combo reply. You know how I like things being neat and tidy in time, just have to keep it straight.
I'm tempted to start writing up the class right now. The real question is it a prestige class or more of a specialized base class?
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I actually put thought into this later on. It's a specialized base class. Start with an Elementalist, spec Geomancy, then focus as a Petromancer. It's specifically the magical manipulation of rocks and stones, no gems or metal. At low levels this means only natural stone, soil, sand and such, but later it can include worked stone and glass. It has some technical effects on metal and gems, by identifying ore veins and gem inclusions as "impurities" in the rock, and can clear out shafts to them, leaving cubes of the material to be hauled away.
You didn't ask, but the other one involves the cruel and possibly insane Blood Prince capturing a generous and well-loved Arch-Magus for the "crime" of teaching magic to non-unicorns, especially earth ponies. He plans to kill her in horrible ways for her heresy. Meanwhile, a former student who has a severe crush, Pied the Pink, is there to rescue her. She's also known as the Magical Mishap, she rolls fumbles on three numbers rather than two, BUT because of the way her character was done she can turn fumbles into special chaotic feats if she succeeds at another roll.
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By fumbles you mean crit fails?
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Yea. I'm from way back when. 2nd Ed revised, with THAC0 and Saving throws and all, with critical fails on 1 and 2. She crit fails on 1, 2 and... either 3 or a number that gets randomly selected before each session.
I liked the Gilda/Trixie stuff as usual, though I felt you were kind of mean to Twixie shippers. Ending was a bit lame, I could easily re-write that guy to support your ships and have the characters explain why he's wrong just the same. But I digress; your writing is stellar as always.
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I started in 3.0, but did go back to cover AD&D, what with Baldur's Gate and all. You have no idea how many hours I've put into Icewind Dale.
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But that's why. The characters explain their relationships IN THEIR UNIVERSE. Everyone has reasons they love the ones they do, and if circumstances were different they would have different partners and different explanations with equal validity and passion. It was like putting a Twixie shipper in a world where Twinkie is the reality (And Gildixie too) and watching what happens as he tries to understand.
It was also following the general thread of "Contra" which is to do a piss-take on popular conceptions of ponies. I've seen a LOT of Twixie folks who only want them to have... let's call it "imaginative" futa sex with magical BDSM D/s mistress/slave overtones. Note the mirror doppelgangers talking about glorious sex. Plus I often question the basis for their relationships. Twilight stated outright (in the story, so it's an interpretation, but...) they pretty much hated one another and forgiveness after the Alicorn Amulet incident should involve a bit of tempering with conditions. So it was mostly me poking on the rather... fanatical nature of a lot of Twixie fans, while also trying to craft these observations of little scenes inside of two very kind and loving relationships being ripped apart because someone didn't think they should be loving the ones they love.
I actually cut out a kind of concluding "After-Action Report" from the Office of the Cult-Finder General talking about the disposition of the Serpent Crown and how the stallion had been fixated on fixing relationships he thought were wrong.
Oh, those wild, crazy swingers!
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Don't discard that entirely; you could use it to kick off any number of other stories...
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Wild and crazy swingers indeed. Those darn kids would not be as sedate and relaxed. And that's the story they're sticking too
I have retained that idea. I haven't said it yet, but there are more than three Discordian arch-artifacts. I might not get to them all in a timely manner, but i know what they are and what they do.
These stories have been good and interesting so far, and I've enjoyed this a fair bit, but I'll admit I'm a tad dissapointed with some of it.
Your first story about Berry Punch was easily my favourite. It was a real fairly heavy drama piece about an alcoholic trying to be a good parent but just unable to, and it had a decent resolution to it as well as some strong character interaction between its three main characters.
The second story wasn't as good. I was hoping the focus would be on Twilight and Pinkie standing against Pinkie's parents, and have messages about 'new wave love' in the face tradition and hostility, but instead it dropped the potentially interesting drama for a less interesting plot about a Dicordain mirror. Not that the Discordian mirror was bad or un-interesting, it just wasn't what I was hoping this story would bring to the table.
Then Twixinkilda was also pretty darn great, but it also pulled back before it got to the place I wanted it to. I was interested in seeing you tackle infidelity and weighty ideas about trust forgiveness and the like, but in the end you just pulled a power-of-love explosion and that fixed everything.
And then that last chapter was... I mean, what the heck was that?
I dunno what your intent for this story is, but after the first chapter I was under the impression it was going to be a series of real-world serious family issues, just about ponies and such. But you haven't done that, and I'm kinda disappointed. I see some potential here for some real weighty and interesting stuff, and that stuff just never happens.
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Allow me to clarify a bit: while a more realistic slice-of-life would be good this was made for a different purpose. It is a direct repudiation of certain common pony tropes, from an internal perspective and with the rules of cause-and-effect in play. As if the audience was trying to reach through the proscenium arch and the actors were reacting.
The first takes on the idea of Berry as a fulfilled alcoholic who abuses her daughter and is funny. This shows that in a real examination Berry would be miserable and hurt her family. To laugh at that is cruel.
The second was actually a grab bag meant to show the common tropes of the Mane Six and show how much it is hideous. Biggest attention being given to Molestia (she is seen twice, in Twilight's and Celestia's.) I really should show Twilight and Pinkie dealing with Goodman and Goodie Pie.
The third was about the zany ubiquity of Twixie. And this takes aim at that idea when Twilight and Trixie have other relationships and react in a more real fashion (They aren't friends but they promise to be civil.) And it shows what external interference does to a relationship, especially when it is something akin to forced psychological torture. The wave of love is 1) Canon and 2) A representation that they have an actual love, greater than the "NOW KISS" mania of the Twixie shipper in the Serpent Crown.
The last one was a generic stand against the (sometimes creepy and very often inappropriate) crazy hypersexuality attributed to background characters. Foremost are the Cakes who are depicted as adulterous beasts most of the time or at least with one as an adulterer, either Mr. Cake screwing Pinkie because he's a dick or Mrs. Cake cuckolding Mr. Cake for no reason, usually the "hilarious" go-to explanation for Pound and Pumpkin. The others are there for appearances, including another married couple, and a gay couple. The real humor comes from the big reveal of the secondary definition of 'swinging.' The rules Derpy rattles off make it sound like the other sort, which was a fun little addition.
Sorry it wasn't as good as you hoped but I am very glad you liked the first story. Berry Punch as a contrite individual getting off the sauce because she loves her family is far too rare. I am most proud of it out of all the ones here.
Eheheheh, I like this!
I've often thought that it's a shame swings are generally only made for kids. My legs are too long to comfortably go on those.
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Swings are just so much fun. I wish I could have a swing, a porch one or a regular one.
My great aunt Hazel's father was an alcoholic. My grandmother's older sister, Aunt Cee was one of his drinking buddies. One day, Aunt Cee went to his house and found him dead on the kitchen floor in front of the sink. He had drunk lye. Whether it was an accident or it was a suicide, we don't know. Aunt Cee removed the bottle of lye and put a whiskey bottle in his hand so it would look like he drank himself to death. I guess that was better than letting folks wonder if he had killed himself.
When I read Berry was hiding her alcohol under the sink, it scared me into thinking she would suffer the same fate. Glad she didn't.
I am in Al-Anon and stories like this are pretty common.
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Being a drunk isn't funny. Unless you never had to go through it. Apparently then it's hilarious. And sexy, if you believe all those molesting stories.
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I know. It sucks. Folks in AA can laugh and joke about it, but that's just part of dealing with the disease. Others who don't understand joke about it, but they don't know the pain alcoholics and their families have to deal with.
Ponyville Swingers. I fell out laughing and had to tell my husband about it. I like swings too.