Between Life and Friendship

A Thousand Words592 stories ·232 members

Pinkie always does everything she can to make friends, to make someone happy, no matter who they are. No matter what are the costs...

Written for A Thousand Words contest. I guess it qualifies as experimental

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #1 · Jun 1st, 2022 · · ·

Well, you weren't lying when you said this was a bit experimental. Definitely a bit of an odd story, but not to its detriment, I don't think. You had an interesting premise, and the execution was pretty good. I think it might have been a bit better if you'd kept the situation a bit more vague, especially with regards to Pinkie's new friend, in order to let the reader's imagination run wild a bit more. As it is, it wasn't bad, and made good use of the word limit.

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #2 · Jun 14th, 2022 · · ·

Perfectly Pinkie. Who else could or would do this sort of thing with a psychopomp? The text isn't especially experimental, but this is still a lovely demonstration of her at her best. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

BloodLustShade

BloodLustShade #3 · Jun 16th, 2022 · · ·

Ooh I would love to see another part to this.

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #4 · Jul 12th, 2022 · · ·

The sudden blackness enveloped Pinkie Pie as the pain in her tummy disappeared.

great first line! the contrast in the two events already makes it intriguing

There was nothing and everything at the same time. Pinkie could feel something being wrong, she could feel her friends being infinitely far away from her, but at the same time they were close. The sugary taste still lingered in her mouth, but the remains of the cake left her throat like the world around her.

and ooh, there is something really cool about this! that disassociative feeling but put into prose

Light and darkness. Day and night. Life and death. There is always something between them. And you were lucky/unlucky to get caught between. At least for now. Your body is barely alive, but your mind is on the verge of collapse.”

ah, fascinating explanation! fits both all the weird stuff that a mind gets up to when shutting down, as well as an ad hoc system of an afterlife

“Huh… Never imagine that I’ll go out like this. Eating my favourite desert in the company of my friends…”

aww, i wouldn't either!

Pinkie gasped, filled with enthusiasm. It didn’t matter to her that her life was like a hair balancing on the needle. She knew she had to help that poor creature.

aww, that is so Pinkie Pie! even when she is dying she has to help the skeleton creature stuck between realms. augh, i love her

The weird sounds of balloons rubbing against balloons sounded around the void as Pinkie folded them in weird shapes.

i really like this sentence! the repetition of the words gives it a really fun and poetic feel

That place made everything impossible, but perhaps a smidge of Pinkie Pie can make even a skeleton happy.

so true

“Aaaaaannnnnd. Done! You may turn around now!” Pinkie happily exclaimed. Her voice filled everything with fun. All the worry, sadness; all the care in the world couldn’t take that moment away from her. Like that one time, on her first party, she was at the peak of her happiness. The true fun. The first fun.
Slowly, the skeleton turned. Their eyes were full of anticipation as their muzzle showed something similar to a smile. They were almost tapping their hoof. They were almost happy.

augh, Pinkie is the best! and for some reason it's only now that i realized this pony is a skeleton pony, even though you did describe them as such earlier. that is such a cute mental image!

She could feel the pain in her stomach; feeling of something in her throat and the wetness of tears. The artificial brightness hitting her eyes.

aww, her friends are bringing her back!

“It’s my friend’s first party, and I can’t leave now, “ she said, as she finally gave the balloon to them. The most pink balloon there ever was. The most impossible thing in the impossible void.
“Is it… You and me?” Skeleton said confused. Tears rolling down.
Pinkied exhaled. “Please don’t forget what fun is. Don’t forget what friendship is.”

never expected a story about Pinkie almost dying from choking on her favorite dessert to be so heartwarming

The cake fell as her body disappeared, but the skeleton pony managed to catch it. The final tear came out of their eye socket as they began mourning their first friend.

augh, that is really neat! i love that Pinkie being resuscitated would be like her "dying" from the perspective of this in-between world. and that mental image of Pinkie doing her best to "die" a bit more just to give the skeleton pony a proper goodbye is just too great!

DC, this was really good! the idea was both strong and clever, juxtaposing the qualities of Pinkie Pie and the grimness of almost choking to death, and the execution really saw it through, keeping its focus on the characters and being a particularly great depiction of the goodness of Pinkie Pie. i thoroughly enjoyed this one. please write more like it!

TheOneAJ