Unicorn Attack!

by milesprower06

The Crystal Tea Room

"Unicorns are very superstitious. If a pony ever says a forbidden word, we have to do a ritual to ward off the jinxies," Izzy explained, as her other four friends were looking on at a group of colts and fillies dancing in a circle, singing 'bing bong, bing bong'.

"Jinxies?" Pipp asked.

"Bad luck," the unicorn answered.

"Forbidden words?" Hitch asked.

"Magic, wing, feather... Oh, and mayonnaise," Izzy replied. Perhaps explaining things didn't bring on the 'jinxies', because she didn't do any sort of dancing or chanting when she said them.

"What's wrong with mayo—"

"Ah-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da..." Izzy interrupted, rushing over to cover the stallion's mouth with her hoof before the word could be finished. Hitch hadn't seen the pale blue, purple-maned unicorn right behind him. When he went on his way, Izzy lowered her hoof.

"Bridlewood had a lice infestation a few years back, and the methods we resorted to in order to get rid of them were... Shall we say, extreme," Izzy explained. "Alright, it's not too much further, everypony."

Her four pegasus and earth pony friends were now decked out with rather convincing 'horns', allowing them to blend in with the rest of the populace. Sunny's and Hitch's were a sparkly mix of green, blue, and purple, Zipp's had streaks of cyan and hot pink that matched her mane, and Pipp's was almost entirely gold and sparkly, going quite well with her tiara. With a bit of coat-friendly adhesive, each of them was quite secure, the bottoms buried in their manes, looking like real horns even if somepony got a closer look. And clearly, not a single unicorn could perform any magic, so there would be absolutely nothing to prove.

They were coming up on a quite gargantuan tree, with a structure built into the hill underneath. The front wall and double doors were built just behind the roots, and red leafy vines nearly covered the entire surface.

"The Crystal Tea Room?" Sunny asked after reading the sign, in the shape of a tea kettle.

"One of the regulars here collects crystals. Maybe he could help us!" Izzy told them.

Sunny certainly hoped so. Zephyr Heights had been easy because the pegasus crystal was the centerpiece of the royal crown. So far, Bridlewood was considerably more... Simple.

They came up to the front doors, which were made of stained glass, and Izzy pulled the door open and ushered her friends inside.

When the doors closed behind them, the atmosphere was considerably darker than it was outside in the canopy-covered forest. The floor was tiled mosaic-style in grey stones. Each table was made of cobblestone and topped with a rounded piece of wood, and painted in various patterns. Red and yellow ball lights were strung up on the ceiling all throughout the seating area.

As they silently followed Izzy through the dining area as the unicorn looked for the crystal collector, Sunny noticed more of what she had on the walk through town; these unicorns couldn't really be any more lifeless. There was a beat poet up on stage, and the patrons were barely paying her any attention; even the poet herself sounded as if she was just going through the motions.

Sunny simply couldn't imagine growing up in surroundings like this, and suddenly, Izzy living so far out on the edge of the forest made a little bit more sense to her.

"Psst," Izzy whispered to her. Sunny turned to her friend, and the unicorn nodded her head towards a table to their left. There at the table, with a ceramic teapot and cup, sat a light brown unicorn, looking as positively bored as the rest of the tea room's occupants. "That's the pony I was talking about."

"Hey, Ruby, how've you been? I've got somepony here that may be interested in one of your crystals," Izzy told the stallion as she and Sunny came around to the other side of his table.

"Word in the forest is you're quite the crystal collector," Sunny told him, taking a seat across from him. He wore a red beret atop his curly, dark brown mane.

"Yes, I am. Well, I mean I was. I lost'em all, in a limbo contest with... Alphabittle!" Ruby exclaimed sorrowfully.

"Oh no..." Izzy commented.

"Who's Alphabittle?" Sunny asked.

Just then, a bell over by the center bar counter rung out several times.

"Time's up! Pass it over, Jasper," they heard another stallion's voice say.

Ruby nodded over to the bar, and Sunny got up to get a closer look. She saw a light brown unicorn give a two by two cube puzzle to a towering light grey unicorn, who gave one quick look at it, then with seven very rapid rotations, he aligned the colored tiles, and triumphantly set it down on the bar top.

"Guess that makes me the winner. Again. Pay up," the barkeep commanded.

Jasper rolled his eyes, and reached down to under his stool.

"Ugh, fine," he moaned, picking up a snow-covered tree ornament and set it on the counter, before getting up from his seat and walking away.

"You could always try winnin' it back," Alphabittle enticed. Jasper wasn't having any of it, and merely returned to an empty table in the dining room. "Alright, suit yourself."

With that, Alphabittle picked up the ornament, turned and set it down on the shelf behind him, filled with countless other trinkets, before walking over to grab a clean rag and began wiping down the bar top.

Sunny immediately spotted the stunning pointed sapphire crystal on the top shelf, resting in a candle holder.

"There it is!" Sunny said to Izzy. "I've got an idea. Maybe I can beat Alphabittle at his own game," Sunny said.

Izzy's expression shifted for the first time since stepping in here, going to something akin to uncertainty.

"Wait, Alphabittle can smell fear," she warned.

"Got it," Sunny replied. "Okay, be cool," she told herself as she began stepping towards the bar. She took a seat where Jasper had just gotten up from, and put her front hooves on the bar.

"Tea," she asked, not even making eye contact with the white-maned unicorn.

Alphabittle glanced down at one of the pair of armadillos keeping him company behind the bar, and nodded at him. One of them quickly went over to the teapot, bigger than they were, and poured a serving of tea into a stone cup, sliding it over to where Sunny was seated, while the other one pushed a ceramic creamer towards the cup. Before he could pour any in, however, she placed her right hoof over the top of her cup.

"Hold the milk. Quite the game player, I see," Sunny told the unicorn.

"It passes the time," Alphabittle replied. "Why, do you play?" He grinned at the orange mare, sensing another mark had just taken a seat.

"I don't play," Sunny replied, finally turning her eyes to make contact with the unicorn. "I win."

"Is that so?" Alphabittle asked, stopping his counter-cleaning as he leaned in towards Sunny.

"Yeah. It is. And I challenge you, for that."

Sunny pointed up to the unicorn crystal on the top shelf. Alphabittle turned to see what she had selected, before turning to smirk at his newest challenger.

"You think you can beat me?"

"Only one way to find out."

"Big talk for a little pony."

"I think you'll find I'm average height."

Silence hung over the bar for several seconds.

"Tick tock. What d'ya say?" Sunny asked.

"Whatever you're bettin', it better be special," Alphabittle told her.

Giving him one last smirk, Sunny reached into her saddlebags without even looking, and set the pegasus crystal down on the bar top.

"Special enough for ya?"

Her four friends behind her all gave nearly simultaneous gasps as their eyes widened.

As Alphabittle's eyes also widened, before he could give his answer, Sunny heard Izzy nervously laugh as she was pulled off of her seat over into a huddle.

"Um, hehe, what are you doing?" Zipp asked.

"Don't worry, I could solve that cube puzzle in my sleep."

"But if he wins we'll lose both crystals," Pipp countered.

"We won't, and they're not gonna do anything separated on their own. Trust me."

"Hey, Izzy. If your friend is finished stalling, do we have a deal?" Alphabittle called from the other side of the bar.

Sunny turned back towards the unicorn and stepped up to the bar again.

"Deal. Now give me that cube," Sunny told him.

Just as one of the armadillos was coming over with the still-solved cube puzzle on his back, Alphabittle snatched it away.

"No no no no no. A special prize, calls for a special competition," the barkeep declared, tossing the cube aside. "Bring forth, the ultimate challenge!" Alphabittle bellowed.

Now it was Sunny's turn to join in on her friends' uncertainty.

"The ultimate what now?"

Author's Note:

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

I hope I mixed things up just enough so I didn't just post a transcript of the movie here.

We'll be moving in a bit of a different direction next chapter.

Thanks for reading!

Comments

[Phazon]

The brilliant part of this plan was that even if Sunny lost to Alphabittle, the two crystals would be together. All she'd have to do is hint to him that the crystals are part of a set and get him to put them togeth... it didn't work? Fuck! What do you mean it didn't work?!

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

Sunny simply couldn't imagine growing up in surroundings like this, and suddenly, Izzy living so far out on the edge of the forest made a little bit more sense to her.

Makes me feel sad she had to go through that as a filly.

"Yes, I am. Well, I mean I was.I lost'em all, in a limbo contest with... Alphabittle! " Ruby exclaimed sorrowfully.

A space is needed after the second sentence.

[Yoshifan30]

"Unicorns are very superstitious. If a pony ever says a forbidden word, we have to do a ritual to ward off the jinxies ," Izzy explained, as her other four friends were looking on at a group of colts and fillies dancing in a circle, singing 'bing bong, bing bong'.

Ohh I'm guessing hitch said the magic word lol

[Yoshifan30]

"Bridlewood had a lice infestation a few years back, and the methods we resorted to in order to get rid of them were... Shall we say, extreme," Izzy explained. "Alright, it's not too much further, everypony."

Lice infestation that's kind of gross and that's why they had to use mayonnaise and they don't like it I don't know how to feel about that

[Yoshifan30]

As they silently followed Izzy through the dining area as the unicorn looked for the crystal collector, Sunny noticed more of what she had on the walk through town; these unicorns couldn't really be any more lifeless. There was a beat poet up on stage, and the patrons were barely paying her any attention; even the poet herself sounded as if she was just going through the motions.

Oh yeah believe it or not they gave her an official name name Onyx the pony who does poetry she's a pretty interesting one

[Yoshifan30]

"The ultimate what now?"

It's called a Dance Dance Revolution

[Yoshifan30]

So they got their disguises on and they're on the way to the Crystal Tea Room and the only way to do is to find those crystals and Izzy knows one Pony who can actually help them to get a crystal but unfortunately this Pony Lost everything to Alphabittle and it looks like sunny wants to challenge him to win those crystals she even betting the crystals they have and something tells me this is going to be tricky I wonder what the ultimate challenge is I guess we'll find out next time

[redmar]

The part in Izzy's home was different but when they entered the Crystal Tearoom it was pretty much the same as the movie.

[Comickook]

Well, admittedly, there wasn't much you could do as far as making the Crystal Tea Room scene different from the movie, but I DO at least appreciate you including a reason why mayonnaise was considered a jinx word as well as Sunny reflecting on why the mood is a probable reason why Izzy lives on the outer end of Bridlewood. And, of course, the characterizations are pretty well done.

Definitely looking forward to more of this. And Happy Holidays.

[silverMEGAlicorn]

I had kind of hoped the time it took to get to Bridlewood had been cut in half since there wasn’t much time took in Zephr Heights. That way they could have arrived there before the pony lost to Alphabittle. Seems he would have made a good deal for Izzy and I’d have been intrigued to see how generous he’d have been

[Moonlight Tome]

Bridlewood had a lice infestation a few years back, and the methods we resorted to in order to get rid of them were... Shall we say, extreme," Izzy explained.

Wait..... I think I read that fic! What was the title?

[milesprower06]

11455682
The Mayonnaise Incident, I believe.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

[Draco Dei]

11455701
This? https://www.fimfiction.net/story/504283/the-mayonnaise-incident

[milesprower06]

11461986
That's the one.