I read through my favourite Octa-Scratch fics far too quickly for my own good, so I've decided to write my own. Never written stories before. Lets see how this goes, eh?
It's been almost five years since Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Philharmonica first starting dating. They've had their bumps in the road like most couples, but they are very happy together. They've just moved to a small city in the mountains along with their best friends, Lyra and Bon-Bon. Things are looking up in life, but one day something happens that tears everything down, leaving Octavia only pieces with which to build everything back up, starting from scratch...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Amazing Content!! It really brings these characters to life with how detailed it is! I really feel like I am right there with the characters!
First off, I'd like to say that this is pretty good for the first chapter of a first fic (better than mine was, at least). You had good prose and good dialogue, and managed to keep things interesting. You had good characterization as well; interesting choice to make Bon Bon the more exuberant one. My only complaint might be that it felt like you were trying to squeeze quite a lot into something that is just supposed to be a prologue, which you seem to recognize as well. I can't comment much on this because I don't know where you were planning on taking this story, but you maybe could have taken this prologue, added more detail, and stretched it out into a few chapters that served as an "Act I" instead. It's not that big of a deal though; it's still pretty good as-is.
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Thank you for the compliments!
And yes, for a long time I was rather torn about whether I should make the prologue even longer and thus more digestible and followable, or stopping when it was good enough and leaving the rest of the depicted period of time for the sequel. In the end, obviously, I went with the latter option and tried to strike a good balance between the length and content density of it while still highlighting the important backstory events and details. Perhaps a more experienced writer wouldn't have fallen into the trap of getting the ball rolling on a particular story before realising that they really could do with a prequel, but oh well. Live and learn.
At the end of the day, I felt that, even though this story and the story of the prequel are two separate stories, having some sort of detailed explanation of the character backgrounds and histories is far more important than the potential clunkiness of such a long prologue, and would go a long way towards reader engagement later on in the fic, which as you probably know is a tragedy, where having the reader really care about the characters is rather important. (can anyone say 'run-on sentence?')
Chapter 1 will hopefully be coming in the next week, so not too much of a wait if you are indeed waiting. Being so inexperienced at all this, it's still a bit hard to get myself to just sit down and hammer out the chapters. I look forward to your critiques and feedback as I take on this new adventure!
(edit: the main reason I did not make this an Act I or such is because, in addition to length, I wanted to avoid getting into a side-story that is, ultimately, not the story of this particular fic. I wanted to avoid starting a whole individual story within the start-up of this story only to not take that story anywhere meaningful. Also, the longer I make any Act I of all this background stuff, the harder it will be to not break the 'dont make duplicate stories' rule when making the sequel. It's already going to be a bit strenuous to re-cover the scenes addressed in this prologue when I make said sequel, but at this amount I think I can manage)
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I can understand your dilemma, and I think you did an acceptable job of dealing with it. It may be too late for this advice, but one strategy I've seen used to deal with your sort of situation is to have a series of flashbacks interspaced with the events taking place in the present, essentially creating two parallel storylines that, ideally, play off of each other by juxtaposing certain events. I don't know how much of the past you wanted to show, so I can't say how effective this might have been for you, but that's what I would have done in your situation.
I'll keep an eye on this story and try to leave you some more feedback when I can.