• Member Since 16th Mar, 2022
  • offline last seen March 20th

Anonimacion


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Ember is very proud to be the dragon lord, and very satisfied with her life, however, by accident the "innocent" Crackle will take everything from hir, maybe forever or maybe not.

(my first story on the site, very weird I know but I still hope you enjoy it)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

I made an honest attempt to read this story, but I just couldn't make it through to the end. There are so many mechanical errors in this that I struggled to figure out what you were even trying to say. I realize this is your first story, and I applaud you for making the effort, but you really need to get things as simple as consistent verb tense and perspective down before putting your story out there. If you want my advice, read the fimfiction writing guide, do some more proofreading, or find an editor to help you if you really need to.

While there were errors, I am greatly interested in where this story goes, whether is he multiple chapters or just a few, I would suggest taking time to proofread or put it into a Grammer checker or finding an editor, as well perhaps some more focus on embers side of the story to even out the two characters plots and experiences in the story.

11495887 um... how can I tell you that I had forgotten that this existed haha, anyway thanks for reminding me. Although apparently I will have to look for a better translator because English is not my native language, plus the problems of adult life take up a lot of free time, even so, thanks for the comment.

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