• Member Since 12th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Bad Dragon

I write so that one day I may finally stop writing and be free, but these damn new ideas keep finding ways into my brain. I need to write more to keep up with them!


A dragon comes across something so alluring that everything else in his life loses value.

[This story is part of the 1000 words contest.]

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

The crystal is literally tantalizing:

Tantalus tried to feed 1 of his sons to the Gods. As punishment, he was eternally thirsty and hungry with water and food perpetually just out of reach.

11248824 You know what? I'm going to change the title.
Dangling -> Tantalizing

And... he didn't grow in spite of this overwhelming need?

This feels like a public service announcement Ember cooked up to warn young dragons about losing sight of friendship when confronted with something more tangible. There's a stiff artificiality to everything that keeps me from reaching full immersion. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

11267866 Greed alone is not enough. Perhaps if he got the crystal, he'd grow.

This feels like a public service announcement Ember cooked up to warn young dragons about losing sight of friendship when confronted with something more tangible.

A cautionary tale, indeed.

There's a stiff artificiality to everything

It's a reflection of my soul.

Under the ceiling hung a big juicy crystal. It probably had some kind of history, but it didn’t matter. All he knew was that he wanted it, badly.

well, that never ends well! if i were him, i would simply be aware of the common narrative trope of gluttony being punished in some ironic way

“Drake! Come out to play. The lava is hotter than usual. We can wrestle in it all day long. I even brought us a rock to throw at each other.”

haha, that definitely sounds like how dragons act in the canon! dragons rock

A relentless crash to the dusty floor followed. He found himself sore and bumped, but it didn’t stop him from trying again. And again. And again. He attempted to knock it off with his tail and claws, but couldn’t reach. Only his serpent tongue was long enough to touch it, yet not firm enough to bring it down.

nice, getting Aesop's fables vibes from this

As long as the crystal would exist, he would never be free. And the crystal wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Drake was trapped.

and oof! this definitely feels like a metaphor for addiction, the way the rest of Drake's life crumbles away until his entire world is just him and his crystal. it doesn't seem like a good place to be in at all!

it feels very much like a cautionary tale dragons tell their young, with just how everydragon Drake is as the story's protagonist, about the dangers of craving particular gems to the exclusion of all else. and that is pretty neat!

11297981 Thank you for this. You already had so much work on your hooves with the contest, and with this, you're going the extra mile. I really appreciate you taking the time for this.

More than you know, actually. You see, I have a peeve about some contests. A writer puts a lot of work. She presents her story, and then... nothing happens. Nothing at all. Somepony else wins and gets some recognition but every other story is entirely ignored. The authors don't know what they did wrong. They don't even know if their story was even read. It feels exactly the same as if you spent days writing a story and then just threw it into the fire. The result is exactly the same.

Personally, I'd even be content with being on a list of all stories or having my story added to the 'Read' library shelf. That alone would be a hundred times better than nothing.

For that reason, when I was judging a contest, I made sure to write at least a sentence for each of the entries.

And now I see that you did the same for my story. So, again, thank you for doing this extra step.

As for this story, I haven't told this to anypony before, but what I was describing actually wasn't an addiction. It was the greed in the trading markets. The riches are theoretically attainable with a click of a button. Yet, at the same time, you could spend your whole life chasing the trades and you'd only get punished for it.

i am glad you appreciate it, that is why i do it! and that is an interesting detail, that this was not intended to describe addiction, but rather day trading. i can definitely see that now!


DayTrading is an efficient way to get poor fast. One should get an IndexFund and wait a decade or 2. Haste makes waste and all good things come to those who wait.

11316206 Or you could invest in a tantalizing crystal and just watch it retain its value.

On a serious note, you're right. Investing is good. Trading is bad.


11354236 I'm glad you found the story to be normal. May I strive to achieve that as well someday.

do you consider it bad or do you want to raise your writing skill so that story becomes normal against the background of other stories?

11354344 If the backdrop of other stories is considered normal and I need to improve my writing to get there then I seem to have a long way to go still.

As far as readability is concerned, this might not be the best I have to offer. However, this is the closest story to my heart. Not that that means much.

it depends on what to compare it with. Against the background of your stories that I liked, then the norm

didn't get it. Yes, it doesn't mean much

11354407 Some stories I write will underperform. Some will be meh. And some, I hope, shall overperform the average.

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