• Published 13th May 2022
  • 2,596 Views, 42 Comments

Princess Luna Is In Your Shower - Simp247

You meet the princess of the night in a most peculiar situation - your bathroom.

  • ...

And You're An Asshole For Not Knocking First

A heavy and much needed groan escaped you, the satisfaction of the front door clicking shut behind you, closing out the rest of the world, did a great deal in easing your tense shoulders. It had been another long day at work, fourteen hours that is, and you felt you deserved a treat. Today marked the third day in a row you've had to pull a shift longer than ten hours, and it took a massive toll on your body and mind.

You rest your back against the door a moment, listening to the soft patter of a light rain hitting your house. That, and the crinkling of the plastic bag in your left hand, reminding you of your treat - Fireball whisky, were quite relieving ambient sounds, in contrast to the otherwise silent home.

"Gah, fuck me," you muttered, using your free hand to rub your throbbing forehead. You didn't even have a physically taxing job, is was more the mental damage it took on you that left you feeling glum. "But mostly, fuck people. Always calling in sick," you said aloud to noone.

You were just a man in your mid twenties, trying to form a stable life for yourself. Your parents had no intent in letting you leech off of them any further past 20. 'Time to be a man, son,' dad always said. But unfortunately, other people often drive you to the edge of sanity and insanity, and with the full rent coverage to boot!

Luckily for you, your boss sympathized for you and gave you a whole week off to rest and recover. This was a sign to do not a godamn thing and fill yourself with booze. Normally you preferred not to drink, but such an occasion like this felt much appropriate.

You finally muster will your body, with its severely depleted energy, to move. You then kick off your shoes into a random corner in the mudroom, followed by removing your coat, being too lazy to hang it up and opting to drop it where you stood. Satisfied, you decide you'll take a much needed shower once you've gained some energy back, and you move into the small living room to take a seat.

Being short into adulthood, you had nothing worthy to write home about, other than having a roof over your head. Your living room with its drab, faded green walls, with maple brown trim and grey carpeted flooring, was of meager size. Though it was big enough to fit your sofa, end table, a couple bookshelves and TV on its respective stand, and you were fine with that.

Feeling like the bad boy rebel teenager you used to be, you bought not one but two pints of Fireball whisky. While you didn't drink often, you also weren't a baby to mix it into beer and rather drink right from the bottle. Your father's words always echoed in the back of your mind, a heavy influence on you to do what you need to do to be a man. It made you feel better to heed his words.

You check the time on your phone, reading just past 8pm, then, you reach into your bag to retrieve your prize, practically smelling the copious amounts of cinnamon from inside the bottle. You wist off the cap and take a very generous first swig. The smooth alcohol flows down your throat, leaving a sweet flavor and intense burning sensation.

"Hell yea, I deserve this," you chuckled. "A toast to me for having to deal with the ingrates of society!" you said raising your drink, though noone was there to return your toast, you were still satisfied.

As you take another swig, you grab the TV remote, deciding it was most definitely pony time. While counter-intuitive to the idea of being a man to make your father proud, the world of My Little Pony was one you wished real life could be more like.

"My Little Pony~y," the television began to sing and you sat back into the couch with a smug grin on your face. You survived the last three days and felt good about it. Now it was time to let go and get drunk!

Several swigs and several episodes later, you had forgotten about taking a shower and being the light weight you are, you were on one hell of a buzz. You found yourself unable to sit still and incapable of comprehending the TV, deciding throwing your first empty bottle of booze at it would be sufficient in shutting it off. You missed by mere miles, and grabbed the remote to actually shut it off.

"Ssghhut iitt! Stoopid talking box! I speak friggin' English, dammit! English!" you cursed at the inanimate object, nearly falling off the couch as you leaned forward.

Needless to say, but you hadn't even started your second bottle of whisky yet and you were officially drunk. Logic and reason packed their bags and left town for the night. The analog clock on the end table read 1:38am, though you couldn't tell. What you could tell, was the bright orange bottle, a smudge in your view in your current state, a drink that needed drinking. Your body yearned for it and you obliged.

The rest of the night... became a fog in your mind till the moment your body had enough and called it quits.

The following morning you woke with a heavy groan. If you thought you felt knocked out after work yesterday, right now you felt as if you got hit. By a train. Scratch that. Two trains, just because the world hates you and wants to watch you suffer.

Your bedsheets did little to comfort you, no matter how much you tried to bury yourself in them. Your everything ached and throbbed, if you thought about moving a limb, your subconscious would beg you not to. Though these were the consequences of drinking.

You bring up a hand to your forehead, to try and ease the pain, however, your fingers are met with a cloth of some sort, and a sharp pain shoots through you.

"Gack!" You groan and hiss. "Did I perform surgery on myself or some shit last night?" you wondered. However, you assumed it was the result of whatever antics you pulled while intoxicated.

As you wake up, your senses start coming back to you, including smell and a couple good whiffs reminded you that you'd forgotten to shower last night. However, that was all you could remember, was telling yourself to shower before drinking.

You sit up in bed with another groan, but that's when you notice something is amiss. There was a dip in the bed next to you as if someone else were in bed with you...but you were certain you were alone. Afterall you do live alone. You then notice long blue hairs on the pillow next to you...and...is that a feather?

You couldn't help but squint your eyes in confusion at this. "Did I turn into fucking Cinderella last night for there to have been birds in my bed!?"

You sigh, fully awake now, concerned someone might've been in your home last night, uninvited. For now you forget about your hangover and grab your pistol from under your bed, just to be safe.

First you check your closet, your clothes and porn stash in their expected places. No Boogieman here. It was then you heard flowing water from down the hall, as well as a soft angelic hum, emanating from your bathroom. It sounded female. Why was someone with their pet bird in your home and currently using your facilities?

You tip toe from your room, being mindful of the squeaky floorboard in the hall. You approach, finding the bathroom door locked...however, with a certain slot in the knob, you use a finger nail to unlock it and you slowly open the door, most certainly unprepared for what you see.

It, no her...her wings were half spread as shower water ran over her, over her mane and down her body. She faced the tiled wall away from you, her elegant mane falling down along her back, some over her shoulders. She appeared to have large pointed ears as well as a horn on her head and her entire body was seemingly covered in a plentiful coat of dark blue fur.

You absent-mindedly lower your gun in shock at the creature before you as its tail swayed in the stream. You eyed the being up and down and upon noticing its hips and the marks that adorned them, and only then did the dots finally connect.

You accidentally drop your gun, startling the mare in your shower. "Princess...LUNA!?"

"AAAHH!" she screeched, her horn glowing to yank the curtains shut. "Sorry! W-we thought thine door was locked!"

You could feel your head start to swim, threatening to claim consciousness again within a twelve hour period.

"Y-you're.... you're in my shower!" you stammered, taking a step back. "Why are you real!? Why are you here!? In my home!?"

The princess of the night chuckled nervously. "Hahahaaaa about that.... well we'd love to inform you of our arrival after we've finished washing up if thoust do not mind!"

Stupid! You didn't even knock on the door and you just walzted in on the princess showering!

"Uh.... yeah, good idea..." you agreed, shutting the door.

"Please tell me I still have some whisk-" you began to say as you went down the stairs to your living room, only to notice how much of a mess the place is. Sure Luna is here uninvited but she's royalty! It'd be insulting for her to somehow randomly visit and your place is a mess!

You get to work frantically tidying up the place, picking up dirty clothes, wiping down surfaces, changing garbage bags, you name it. If you saw it, it needed to be cleaned in some way.

"No way this is real," you tried to reason with yourself. "This is just some crazy lucid dream is all! Yeah that makes sense!" you sighed in relief, knowing this was Princess Luna you were dealing with.

But then you stubbed your toe on a table leg.

"Aagh! Fuck!" you hissed in pain, clenching your fists. "You aren't supposed to feel pain in dreams!"

Then behind you, came the sound of hoofsteps down the stairs.

"We assurest thee, thou are not dreaming, Jason," said the princess of the night in a soft tone. "We do thank thee for giving us access to your abode while it rained last night. We truly do appreciate thine kindness, even if thoust were under thy influence," she giggled.

"Whaa...?" was all you could say as you turned to see an anthropomorphic version of best princess standing at the bottom of the stairs. Your cheeks flushed red - she was dressed extremely casually, sporting a lavender sports bra and baby blue tank top and jean shorts.

She had a stunning coat of fur, a decent D cup size bust, a soft hourglass shape and slender legs, ending in hooves. Her wings sat neatly folded behind her against her back, her hands clasped in front of her at her waist as her tail swayed softly. It was truly a sight to behold. Why she'd come to earth in the first place is beyond you...and your place no less!

"How you knoweth of us is beyond us, but we no longer hold the title of co-ruler of Equestria. That title belongs to a good friend, Twilight Sparkle, now," she smiled. "Shall we converse over breakfast? Or lunch as it is more towards that time?"

You nodded slowly after a moment of silence.

In your stupor, Luna invited herself to prepare lunch, as you were unable to do anything rather than stare wordlessly at her. She did not have the body of a model, more of a cute young adult with a bit more to flaunt. She certainly was very attractive...

"Our sister normally does the cooking, thus I'm not nearly as capable as she, but I do hope you'll enjoy our Prench Toast," she smiled, walking over to the table with two plates, each with five slices of toast and drizzled in syrup.

Luna sits across from you, the soft smile never having left her muzzle. "We must admit, we were surprised you did not react much to us last night, though we could only assume it was the alcohol. Thoust seem much more surprised at us now."

You nodded, taking a bite of your brunch. "I certainly am surprised you're here...I don't understand why, though..." you prodded at your toast with the fork. "Some magical accident or something?"

"You are quite knowledgeable, Jason. To put it simply, a portal was created and we decided to investigate. However, it closed as we passed through. Rest assured our sister and Twilight are working to fix it. You needn't worry about us burdening you for long," she answered softly. "As for last night.... we were unable to cast a disguise spell correctly.... your world lacks magic just as the other human world does. Despite only turning half human, we did not wish to remain outside in the downpour. We knocked on your door and you simply let us in and offered your.... very interesting drink. We declined respectfully."

You nodded again, running a hand through your short brown hair, trying to digest all this information on how a busty anthropomorphic Luna ended up in your home.

"It all does and doesn't make sense.... but for what it's worth, Luna.... I don't mind you crashing here until you can go back. I'd love to have the company," you smiled, the initial shock of pony-princess-in-your-house finally starting to wear off.

Logic and reason were starting to head back.

Luna smiled at this. "Again, we are most grateful for your hospitality. Further more, investigations were planned for research. Your world does not seem to be a human version of ours like the other. It was most peculiar another portal to another human world made itself known. Twilight would normally oversee the investigating, but seeing how she is occupied with ruling a country,she is unable, thus we get to do the fun part!" Luna clapped her hands cheerfully. "However...I can foresee us looking like this could cause means for alarm to others..."

You couldn't help but elicit a soft belch upon finishing your plate. The French toast was actually made remarkably well. You never took Luna to be a cook. Perhaps in her free time she chose to try out new hobbies. Like dimension hopping.

"You do what you need to do, Luna. But may I ask.... why you were.... uhm.... in bed with me?"

It was then Luna let out a good hearty laugh with a rosey blush.

"About that.... you simply were adamant on us sleeping with you, claiming our fur is the softest you've felt," Luna giggled, "So we allowed thee to hold our tail while you slumbered. Also, you had a bit of a fall, too, hence the bandage on your head."

You couldn't help but blush deeply from embarrassment. You always got cuddly under the influence which is why you couldn't ever drink with anyone.

"Wow.... Now I regret asking..."

"While we're on the topic of getting to know each other, just how is it thou knowest of us?" Luna tilted her head skeptically.

You might as well of swallowed the largest pill known to man. You knew this was coming.

You sighed heavily. "I think it's best I show you....," you say, getting up from the table, motioning for Luna to follow you into the living room as you start up the TV.

You start up a random episode and opt out of saying anything, letting Luna figure it out for herself.

There was a wedding going on, where a changeling just so happened to show up and Luna and Tia were arguing over not bringing gifts for the newly weds.

Luna gasped from where she sat on the other side of the couch. "That's me and Tia! You were there recording all of this!?" She looked at you in shock.

You shook your head. "No no no! You see, what we have are called television programs. Basically moving pictures...and one of our shows depicts you and all your friends.... and Twlight is the main character."

"This is most fascinating. Knowing nothing, yet everything about our existence. We must report this to Twlight. She'll want to see this for sure." Luna said, eyes glued to the TV. "Also how did nopony notice the changeling!?"

"That's anyone's guess," you shrugged. "So um.... next question.... where is the portal on this side?" You ask curiously, watching Luna's tail wag as she watched the show.

"In the space where you keep your massive red contraption with wheels," she says without looking away from the TV. "But it's closed.... unless Twilight opened it already."

You blinked.

You double blinked.

A portal to Equestria was in your fucking garage.

You turn on your heel on bolt out of the front door and around to your garage, where your early 2000s red pickup truck sat. It was too long for the garage and thus the door could not be shut fully. You duck underneath and a faint glow comes from the far wall.

You cautiously walk over to it, feeling a soft tingling sensation as you get near.... like a pulling force. Did that mean it was open? The portal itself looked like a vertical body of rippling water and your heart skipped a beat.

Here and now...any brony's dream...was sitting before you - a gateway to Equestria. You slowly reach for it and make contact.

And you get painfully zapped.

"Ow! Hey, what gives!?"

"We suspect it is repelling you. You are not a magical creature. That's an interesting failsafe ," said Luna from behind you.

You turn towards her and frown. "What are you saying? The portal is racist towards non magical creatures?" you ask in annoyance.

Luna giggled softly. "Interestingly put, but we think we'd have to say yes."

You could feel anger boiling inside of you. "But that's not fair! A portal to Equestria right here and I can't go in!? That's bull!"

"Or it isn't fully up yet," she tried her luck at touching the portal, getting zapped as well. "Most interesting."

You cross your arms. "Dumb, racist portal."

You're about to turn away when the portal suddenly begins to emit much more light and a static sound.

"Oh! It must be opening!" Luna said and she touches it again, her hand passing through, but as she does so, her hand morphs into a hoof and she smiled. "You try," she says pulling her hand back out.

"If it zaps me again...." you start. "I swear I'm gonna be mad," you grumble, approaching the portal....

Only to be zapped again.

"Confirmed, portal is racist," you huff.

Luna scratched her chin in thought. "Well, if the other human world soaked up magic like a sponge, I see no reason this one shouldn't. Mind if we try casting a spell on you? Just a simple one," she asked

You were too offended to really care.

"Go for it," you say sticking your tongue out at the alleged racist portal.

Luna's horn glowed and you could feel a rather strong tingling sensation, but nothing really past that.

"I've applied a simple magic resistant shield on you. That way you're coated in magic... to be unaffected.... by magic. That sounded weirder saying it..."

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever, let's just see if this works," you say as you...slip your hand right into the portal. You then get ahead of yourself and dive right on in.... big mistake.

Hot searing pain was all you felt as you passed through. Luna's spell did not hold for long, and now the portal had no choice but to let you through. The last thing you know before blacking out was your scream sounding much too feminine.

Author's Note:

Dunno. Random fic. Was supposed to be a one shot. Perhaps another chapter or two could do. I suck at writing extremely short stories.

Also I did this on my phone. Nor did I have the motivation to proof read. Realized I switched off of 2nd person for a bit...fixed that and some other errors I spotted. Please comment any errors you find.

Fuck autocorrect