Per My Last Email

by The Red Parade

Form 420-A

Hey Bitchberry,

Here’s the 420-A form.
(File Attached)

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You have a cute middle finger.

How was the sale by the way?

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We sold one to Sunset Shimmer. She buys one every year because she feels bad. That thing is so gonna die. Also… what is with that email? Did apples kill your family or something?

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Ouch.

And no, apples did not kill my family, I bitched them all to death. I just hate apples. They’re so bad.

Also I saw a flier at the cafeteria, you selling again tomorrow?

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Please do not come.

I will cry.

Listen I know I talk big game but it’s really just because there’s a screen in front of me and you don’t see my face. I am an absolute wreck in person.

But um. Yeah. Yeah we’ll be there.

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Aw. I get it though. I can safely say that I am as bitchy in real life as I am online.

This has been fun though. Usually I scare everyone away. Can’t blame them! Good luck with the sale. Hey, save a succulent for me if you can.

Comments

[artofwar77]

Aren't succulents the most hands-off plants to keep?
Sunset must be pretty terrible at minding plants if a succulent manages to die in her care.

[Bicyclette]

You have a cute middle finger.

How was the sale by the way?

auaugh perfect

We sold one to Sunset Shimmer. She buys one every year because she feels bad. That thing is so gonna die.

aww, so that is what a post-reformation friendship looks like from the other end! it makes a lot of sense that this is what that would look like

Aw. I get it though. I can safely say that I am as bitchy in real life as I am online.

This has been fun though. Usually I scare everyone away. Can’t blame them! Good luck with the sale. Hey, save a succulent for me if you can.

just especially the "Can't blame them!" is so perfectly Strawberry Sunrise, wow! i can really hear that annoying high-pitched smug voice and i love it so much