• Member Since 19th Sep, 2020
  • offline last seen February 14th

Smakleapp


Funny? Maybe. Introspective? Quite Possibly. Words? Yes.

T

A stallion lives in the side of a mountain in a flooded world


This story was written for the A Thousand Words Contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Interesting story. Might be better with the why or how he got there but definitely interesting.

RDT

Piscivorous ponies.

Interesting mood piece. Imagine such a lonely life, where time only brushes against you like a breeze. Where even the only meaning left for you, the mining of the crystals, is taken away.

Curious. Not sure what to make of this, much like both the stallion and the narrator. One note, though:

His hand brushed rope, and with deteriorating strength, he pulled himself up, and scrambled up the side of the mountain, no pic anymore.

Between that and the all-fish diet, this does feel barely pony related. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

Sunny meant a good day, rainy meant a bad day, it never snowed, and stormy meant the end of the world.

oof, i hope that stormy isn't seen too often, then! and already a very lonely atmosphere here

And he would venture further south down the mountain to catch jumping fish that he could spear with his useless horn. He hated doing so, as he had an innate fear of the water, but it would provide dinner.

a neat detail! unicorn horns being repurposed after the magic is gone, and this repurposing just feeling very wrong and sad and contrary to the spirit of the world that came before is always really cool

The living housed only a sofa and an empty bookcase, which mocked the stallion. Books to the stallion represented meaning in the meaningless world, and he felt nostalgic. He knew somepony who loved books, that much he knew. He wondered where they were many occasions. He knew not what they looked like, sounded like, or were like, but he knew they liked books.

and oof, that just raises further questions! memories of a world lost? is this a stallion that we know? my habit of not checking the tags pays off in heightening the tension of this story!

The stallion thought of a world of crystals, beautiful shiny crystals living together, so clear that the sun would shine through them and would make beautiful mosaic art through the town.

the Crystal Empire, nice!

And he would then look at his bag of crystals and dead fish, cry, and look out the windows to the cruel world, and walk to his bedroom where he would lie for minutes before repeating these actions.

Eventually, he would store the fish in the fridge save for one, gut it, cook it on the stove, and eat it. He would throw the guts off the side of the mountain. And then, almost immediately, he would sleep.

and oof, such a bleak fate for the stallion that is surely either Sunburst or Shining Armor. tho now i do wonder where the power for these appliances are coming from

Like a log, a dead unicorn floated to the surface. The force of the pic caused it to turn, and stare at the stallion. The eyes were gray, and the face was almost a skeleton. The eye was still there and it looked right through the stallion. With a gasp, the stallion felt himself lose grip and eventually fall into the water.

oof, love how this was rendered. very haunting!

The stallion felt the cold splash of the water, and he opened his eyes to see nothing. The water was black nothing, but he felt something brush his leg and he was afraid it was his memory of his book-loving friend trying to pull him down with it.

and oof! i mean, if anynarrator would be an unreliable one, it would be this one!

The stallion sat in his living room, mind turned off. He didn’t know what happened, and he was bored. He picked up a piece of quartz and he rubbed it until he remembered that nothing meant anything anymore.

The sounds of waves soothed him to sleep. He had a dreamless slumber.

there's something neat about this, being trapped alone in an absurdly postapocalyptic world, haunted by fragments of memories, with no past and no future and barely a present. very sad and grim indeed. thank you for it!

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