In her dreams, Moondancer is a unicorn.
In her dreams, in the magical land of Equestria, Moondancer has a girlfriend. Her name is Sunset Shimmer, and she's smart, talented, confident, and kind.
In her dreams, Moondancer knows what it's like to love, and to be loved.
The worst part about a good dream is waking up.
An entry in the May Pairings 2022 Contest. Loosely inspired by Neon Genesis Evangelion, but has no relation to it. (By 'inspired by' I mean 'inspired by the vibes I got while binging it on my phone through the night'.)
(Minor CWs: A brief mention of non-sexual nudity and an allusion to suicidal thoughts. Neither of these elements are present enough to justify full warning tags, at least in my opinion, but they are there and I get anxious about not warning people, just in case.)
Cover art by the fantastic MemPrices! Please check them out, they do great work.
Thanks to Roxylalolcat and SigmasonicX for pre-reading and editing.
Edit: Featured for... some period of time? Like, two days or so I think? It may have been at the top or maybe it was kept off by a clopfic, I don't remember but apparently this is something people like to keep track of, I dunno.
EDIT 2: Now with a reading from Rainbow Infinity, which can be found here!
Well, I was not expecting to be seen like this. I, honestly can't put it into words on how much I related to this.
...I think I'll just say, very well done. This was, quite the experience to read through. I haven't been this personally engaged in a piece of literature for quite some time.
It was great pre-reading this. The prose does a lot of work in carrying the mood, clearly showcasing the malaise of Moondancer's human life while making clear it's a mental prison and not one forced on her by others, and demonstrating why she'd prefer the pony world so much. Of course, it's open to interpretation what actually happened at the end, but I'll choose to believe Moondancer is a pony with a girlfriend now.
Also, that's some fantastic cover art.
Alright, but if there isn’t a scene where Moondancer and Sunset do a perfectly choreographed DDR routine to kill a big monster, and/or a scene where Moondancer becomes a squiggly line, I’m downvoting. I’m telling all my friends to downvote, and I’m getting my fifteen alt accounts (half of which write high-concept displaced shlock where I transform into Asuka and run around drop-kicking the ponies Germanly) to downvote too.
Well, you certainly know your target audience.
Lockdown, man. Fuckin’ Covid.
I get that she means well in saying this, but with self-esteem like Moonprancer’s, a compliment like that could just as easily backfire.
You’re missing a quotation mark. I tried writing it into my screen with a Sharpie, but that didn’t work. Also, I fucked up my monitor. I am billing you for this.
Moondancer, shrimping in her contoured Gamer Girl(tm) chair: “Why the FUCK can’t I get COMFORTABLE and WHY do I have SPINAL CONTUSIONS”
And accomplishing very little in the interim.
Historians believe these two were very good friends.
Goddammit, you really made that pun twice, didn’t you? You got moxie. Real moxie.
“When I think about you, I- well, anyway.”
Based and Shinjipilled.
The tonal EVA-ness of this is apparent throughout, but this was the first time I latched onto what felt like a specific reference. I read this, and I think of that live-action segment toward the end of EoE, where Shinji and Rei quietly discuss the nature of dreams, reality, and escapism, all while Jesus Bliebet Meine Freude tinkles gently in the background. A moment of calm punctuating the horror of Third Impact. It’s one of my favorite scenes.
I make this comparison favorably.
Given the material, a Sea of Dirac, quite possibly.
holy shit is that a reference to neon genesis evangelion (1996) episode 26 the beast that shouted love at the heart of the world - take care of yourself
“You didn’t know? There was this whole thing at CHS with, like, a mirror, and choreographed homoerotic song and dance...”
Having wrapped up the story, and setting aside review snark, I have a lot of, um, complex thoughts regarding the ending. I think I want to wait and see if the crystallize into a solid interpretation before I lay them out, possibly in a later review. Perhaps one featuring a picture of ice cream.
As for the story as a whole, I enjoyed it. Loved the juxtaposition between the two Moonpantsers, the prose, the sheer realness of Humandancer’s depression...
My only critique would be, I wish we had seen some of those qualities that Sunset saw in Moonfrancer. She tells us what she likes about the girl, but we don’t see those traits in action, you feel? Maybe if we’d seen her ramble a bit herself, idk.
No, this was good. Really good. I’m even going to forgo my planned downvote, because Moondancer did become a squiggly line. Well done.
Outstanding work here. Brilliant study in contrasts between the beauty of Equestria and the utter desolation of human Moondancer's existence. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
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Honestly, I kind of like how we see so little of Moondancer's positive aspects. It reflects her attitude towards herself, grudgingly acknowledging some minor, unimportant above-the-norm capabilities amid the utter disappointment with which she views herself.
A-Are you okay? Because human Moondancer's experiences came off as unnervingly real to me.
If you need anything, I'm here for you.
11248969
To quote a cooler version of myself: “No, not in the slightest. But that’s hardly a recent development.”
To be real, though, a lot of what went into Moondancer here is based on my own experiences and thoughts, but from years ago, before the lockdown, if you can believe it. Back when my only social interaction was as part of a group that I am no longer welcome in when I protested their backslide into softcore fetish art (but that's another story). Believe it or not, it was through the lockdown I managed to claw my way back, the free time afforded to others allowing me to make real connections. I started writing, cut a toxic community out of my life, cracked my egg, got myself addicted to the critically acclaimed MMO Final Fantasy XIV, found a girlfriend somehow...
To quote a stupid idiot child with an annoying voice: "I hate myself. But maybe, I can learn to like myself one day!"
Nearly everything Moondancer feels here is based on my feelings from some point in time. The difference is that she was never lucky enough to find a way to fight those feelings. There's no moral here, by the way; there's nothing I did differently to her that provides a way out. It's mostly just happenstance; I was in the right places at the right times, she wasn't.
Of course, Moondancer has her own escape.
...I'm not really sure what I was getting at here. I may have gotten a bit heavy. Oops.
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It's fine. And honestly, the whole world is heavy these days.
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I s’pose? But I was thinking about how the qualities Sunset loves about her might very well be things she hates about herself. That’s precisely why Sunset
loveslikesdeems her worthy of grace.I've always loved this kind of premise, the simple yearning for a situation you believe you can't have. I've wrote something on this site using that, and I find myself returning to those kinds of stories time and again. Now I can add yours to that list.
Honestly, it's quite beautiful. The emotional turmoil, the foreshadowing, the evocative scene-setting, it all comes together to make something very satisfying to read. And for one of my favorite side characters as well, which is simply icing on the cake.
I tip my hat to you, Shilic. Well done,
Huh. Was expecting the end to show Moondancer in an asylum, lost to her dreams.
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It’s tagged Sad not Dark lol
Is there going to be a sequel?
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Probably not.
Excellent story. A part of me can definitely relate to this.
This is the deepest fic I’ve ever read. Definitely relate
Sadge
Oof. Powerful. Good job.
I loved this; your description of depression was so powerful and evocative. Great work <3
Greetings. Your reading has been completed and can be found below. I hope you enjoy.
Hello! Have a review. I'm not sure whether I've missed anything through my lack of NGE knowledge, but still: although it's hard to say I enjoyed this fic given how unhappy human!Moondancer is, I certainly admire it and found it an engaging read.
So does the human shell die, or just disappear? The latter would have interesting implications.
Just, god damn incredible.
Easily one of the best things i've read on this site
The gnosticism is strong in this one.
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Well, you were right. This is a lovely story.
11772635
Definitely one of the best I saw recently