I'm not great at this. If you see something you like though let me know.
Autumn Blaze has been invited to visit her friends Fluttershy and Applejack while the two are staying in Canterlot. They have asked her to meet up for a picnic at the Canterlot Garden Park.
Autumn Blaze has never been to Canterlot and has no idea how to get to the park.
Wandering lost though the city she stumbles upon somepony she thinks safe to ask for directions. If only she could get an answer.
Written for the May Pairings Contest 2022
Cover Art by a friend
Page generated in 0.085 seconds
Total duration
974 users online
1,448,440 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The concept is an interesting idea!
11238944
Thanks for commenting.
But yeah the Kirin's history with giving up there voices and the implication of Vinyl Scratch being mute the show gave off made me think this could be an interesting interaction to explore and it seemed like a unique pairing even if I only took it to the strangers in passing level.
Its nothing extravagant but I its a cute little story.
(Came here from the group post requesting feedback.)
I actually read this the other day and I thought it was really cute!
I think Autumn Blaze and Vinyl are a pretty genius pairing with the whole mute thing, and I thought you did a pretty good job with characterization of both of them. I especially loved when Autumn got super protective over Vinyl when she thought somepony caused her muteness, cuz she knows what that feeling is like and she was ready to throw hooves, I love it. And the whole thing about Vinyl using her music as her voice was so cute too.
I would have loved to see more of them together though, and I think that's my biggest complaint. It's such a great idea that I feel like you just scratched the surface of where you could have explored their connection a bit more. For example, since Autumn is such a talkative person and basically can't survive without talking her head off, it would have been cool to see her baffled and come to understand how Vinyl survives without saying a single word in a day. Or, another example, just having Autumn easily understand Vinyl without words in ways other ponies couldn't because she was so accustomed to living with other silent ponies for such a long time (if I'm remembering right). Lots of different routes you could have gone with these two but basically more, more, more! Definitely lots of potential for a sequal!
Overall, it's a great concept, a cute story, but criminally too short in my opinion. Still think it deserves more praise though! Nice work!
Answering the request for a comment in the group thread.
I really like the idea of Autumn identifying Vinyl's music as her voice and her silence as a more natural part of her being than the forced silence of the Kirins.
As a point of criticism, I will say the attempted rape and/or mugging scene is very jarring for the tone of this slice of life friendship story and doesn't really serve the story in any way.
Thanks for a nice little read, though. I wonder what Vinyl's thoughts on Autumn going on to write a popular musical (per the end of Sounds of Silence) would be.
11250325
For what ever reason I did not get a comment notification on this reply. I check almost religiously for that stuff.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I can agree that there is still a lot more that could be done with this pairing and that it may be something I want to come back to in the future. [I really need to get past my writers block and progress my main project before I expand into other projects though]
But yeah I just wanted to give the contest a shot and got steered towards the Kirin when shopping ideas with a friend. I knew I just wanted to do something short and quick so I wouldn't get carried away and fail to complete it or miss the contest. [Kind of a good thing cause I stopped finding time to work for a few days after I finished this and haven't worked up motivation to write since]
11252875
Thanks for commenting and glad you liked it.
Your critique on the scene makes sense. I can see how its a touch out of tone with the rest of the story when viewed through that lens. Personally in my mind it was never that dark but I can easily see how you reach that conclusion its in no a way a stretch. I wrote it and view it as a cartoonish thug just trying to swindle a tourist. Like had the scene gone his way he would have tricked her out of some bits for being something of a tour guide But as stated it's a fair conclusion to assume dark intentions especially in that Autumn takes it harshly.
I do feel it serves a purpose though. It put some caution in Autumn she might not have had without such an incident. A less cautious Autumn would likely just take every opportunity to ask for help and that makes it harder for her to have the encounter the story is about. Even if Vinyl is the first remotely helpful pony she encounters she's more likely to be dismissive of her when she's not receiving help the way she wants. If she's not against asking any and every pony for help there is not a reason to not just try again for someone willing to tell her what she wants to hear when met with Vinyl's offbeat response.
I will say there are definitely other routes that could have been taken to get to the interaction in question and any number of them could have been better or worse for the story depending on how I handled them. I just don't think inherently removing the interaction is enough.
Thanks again for commenting and giving my story a read.
I don't often read the stories of others as reading isn't one one my favorite pastimes and that it might influence me into reconstructing their story to present them in my own fashion, but upon reading your comment over on my Octavia and Zephyr story, I found myself periodically reflecting on the similarities Vinyl and Blaze had and pretty much arrived to the same conclusion as you did about the 'mute' concept. As someone who's worked on a lengthy story that involved the main character interacting with a 'vocal impaired' assistant (in my case, three assistants) and a story between two characters with no dialogue between them, I know the troubles that one might encounter when writing about them, so I was interested to see how you might've handled this and gave your story a shot.
A Kirin in the city is a first for me, so having Blaze invested with the things around her was something I enjoyed. I liked that you addressed the expressive emotions of the city and Blaze's attempt for assistance, though I would've lingered on her attempt a little longer. I caught your reasons behind the stranger danger scene, but this is where our viewpoints/approach start to differ. It's been a while since I saw her episode (so I'm a little bit hazy on her character), but I think Autumn Blaze wouldn't have anything to worry about after that incident. Cautious, sure, but going Nirik would scare any creature away.
Vinyl's way of expressing her voice was a nice viewpoint, especially when you consider how Blaze can be pretty expressive herself. I think you got her leisure & enigmatic nature, and I think she can work with Blaze to some extent, but I would've chosen a character with a bit more trouble on her shoulders to create that balance of who's assisting who (I can see Marble Pie working pretty well).
...now my mind keeps envisioning a variation to this story, so I'm gonna finish this up before I become too invested.
It's a daring concept to take a one-time character (excluding cameos) and getting them involved with a quizzical background character. I can't really see how far these two can work together, but you broke the silence to voice a prelude of potential.
11261607
Thanks so much fro reading and your comment.
First off I will admit I was working of a hazy memory myself on the episode and did not bother to re-watch it to prep. I will say the caution is probably best expressed as a desire not need to go Nirkin. It feels reasonable to assume with the lengths the Kirin went to to avoid it that its not something they them selves wish to take part in and I can't imagine Autumn would want to be viewed as a monster if things got to far out of hand. So its more a general fear of a bad situation all around than a particular fear of danger to herself.
I agree one shot characters and certain background ponies can be difficult to work with especially in more unique pairings. You get limited characterization and because of that its easy for each individual to project certain ideas for for the community as a whole to build certain perceptions based on so many different factors.
Vinyl for instance [at least in my experience] is rarely treated as mute and that was mostly established before she bigger story beats in one of the Equestria Girls movies and "Slice of Life" where in both she plays some role in the actual plot but never says a word. So it feels logical to conclude that canonically she is mute. [Granted there is debate that the fans themselves could be the cause of that as fan uproar from an unidealized voice was better avoided] All thing considered for the most part I'd say the fandom doesn't expect Vinyl to be mute so you might not get the best results from the character by going that route.
So yeah living up to peoples ideas and expectations of characters with characters that are variable by the nature of lack of established content can be a battle.
Outside of all that I have something I want to ask if you see this. Is your name pokemon related? Mareep and it evolved form Ampharos are my all time favorite pokemon so I have been wondering if your name references the pokemon or comes from something else.
11261768
It is. The username was made a long time ago, before Pokemon Gold and Silver even made it overseas. I needed a username for a site (Neopets, I think) and I happened to have a rough translation to the new pokemon names at the time. I named myself after Mareep, but the rough translation was spelled as Mereep. I thought it would be a good idea to have a unified name across the internet, so I haven't changed it since.
As for the 'A' in Amereep... that's just the first letter to my IRL name.
11262244
I didn't even notice it was an e instead actually I just couldn't not read it as mareep. Speaking of G/S not making it overseas yet, my love of the sheepy wonder also predates most westerners. As a kid I got a Japanese copy of Gold before it was released anywhere else. My distant cousins dad had seen how explosive Pokemon got when it first started taking over so when he heard new games were coming out he imported some of them somehow. I asked my cousin if he could try to get me one when he told me because obviously I wanted new Pokémon games. I have no idea if i traded him something paid him somehow or what but I ended up getting one from him. The thing about a Japanese copy of gold though eight year old [and still now 30year old] me could not read any of it. I took that thing home and booted it up [I'm thankful it was not region locked] and quickly realized I had no clue what i was doing. It didn't stop me though I used animations and trial and error to figure out moves and items enough play the game. Chikorita was my starter and I was more interested in pokemon I hadn't seen before so when I got to mareep I caught it and added it to my team. Good things do not last forever and eventually my progress was stopped when I had beaten Morty. I got deadlocked by my inability to figure out how to cross water. Idk if it was I never found surf or never connected the dots I needed a water pokemon to cross water. So I couldn't progress but I still wanted to play pokemon and specificly the newest pokemon so I mindlessly grinded the pokemon I had as high as they would go on wild pokemon. I got my starter and my sheep both to lvl 100 since those were my favorites [I can't remember what else I even had] and I remember thinking it was cool that the sheep turned in to a cool looking giraffe thing and I've been in love with the two ever since [Flaaffy is okay but not as special to me.
TLDR: I grinded a mareep to lvl 100 in Japanese Pokemon gold because I couldn't advance the game. Loved it ever since.