Its that special time of year again when everypony dresses warmly and get gifts for each other, with the Grand opening of the first Equestrian Mall the main six decides to shop there for gifts. However the Mall might be more then they can handle, will each of the ponies find what their looking for or find what they really need?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The story is awesome, but you made lots of mistakes, mostly involving capital letters and spelling. Here are some of them:
Ponyville, not pony vile.
Spike, with the capital S.
Rainbow Dash, not Rainbowdash.
3.5 stars. Correct those mistakes and it can easily become 4.5 or even 5 stars
Vortex36 is right. It may be a good story but it is very difficult to read due to technical problems. You desperately need a good pre-reader! I will happily read the whole chapter when it is ready to be shown to the audience. If I were you I would take it off, work on it a bit more and repost.
If my knowledge of works of fiction is still up to snuff, then by the time Twilight wakes up the whole mall would be in a state of chaos that would make Discord proud.