Disguising Bag (50%)
“Take That!” Minuette shouted as she slammed the burlap sack down on the table.
“Is… Is that the bag the defendant hid in?” Asked the judge.
“Yes, but there’s one thing that’s been bothering me. If the defendant really was hiding in this bag, then…” She slammed her hooves down on the table. “How did she tie the knot from the outside of the bag?!”
“What?” Exclaimed the prosecutioner.
“If she was inside the bag, it’d be impossible for her to tie that knot on the outside.”
She almost ruined it. Twilight almost brought up that she used her magic to tie the knot. But she kept her mouth shut and simply let the court forget that she was a Unicorn.
“But then, how did she do it?”
“It’s simple… She didn’t.”
“Hwah?! What are you saying?”
“I’m saying my client wasn’t hiding in that bag at all. She was stuffed in there! By this very witness!”
Lyra was, understandably, shocked at the accusation. “Whaaa?”
Minuette continued, “As you can see by this doctor’s analysis the defendant had taken quiet the beating.” Twilight remembered that beating, it was from being jostled around in a truck full of gold Bits. “While she was in the bag, she was unconscious!”
“Th-This is absurd!” Twilight was inclined to agree with the prosecution on this one.
“The witness was attempting to dispose of the body. She left the defendant in the bag, knowing she’d drive by it on the way back to the bank. When the witness and her partner passed the bag, she convinced her partner to throw the bag in with the rest of them.”
“But, but why would she do that?” asked the judge.
“Why, to dispose of the body of course. There are millions of bags in that bank and the witness knew it would take a long time before the victim was found. But unfortunately for the witness, her victim woke up and tried to escape from her tomb. She was arrested on the spot and the witness thought everything was over.” Minuette turned accusingly towards the witness. “But it’s come back to haunt her now!”
Miss Heartstrings was shocked. “Y-You guys c-can-c-c-can’t- This can’t be happening to meeeeee!” She was carried out of the courtroom by a pair of police officers.
“Well, that certainly was an interesting trial.” Understated the judge. “However I am now ready to deliver my verdict. I find the defendant, Twilight Sparkle:”
NOT GUILTY
Outside the courthouse, Twilight used what little pocket money she had left to buy a sandwich off a street vendor. Was she glad to be free, absolutely. Was she happy with the amount of unprofessionalism displayed in that courtroom, absolutely not. She grew up listening to Pony Mason on the radio, she had a great deal of respect for the judiciary branch of Equestria’s government. To see it twisted, and by one of her friends no less, gave her an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Or maybe that was just the prison food she had eaten earlier today. She took a bite out of her sandwich and pondered on how she could get that money now.
Rank:
Lawyered Up
~~Stealing the Diamond<>
“As Mayor of this fine city,” Said an older Earth Pony mare in formal décor wearing glasses. “I am proud to announce the Equesstorial Archeological Exhibit, open to the public!” Behind the Mayor were glass cases filled with artifacts and other items apparently recovered from dig sites in the Equesstorial regions. Most prominent of which was a massive pale blue gemstone.
“Mayor Mare.” A reporter said, “Could you please tell our audience something about the exhibit?”
“Well, I’m not an expert, nor do I wish to take away from the museums tour guilds. But the exhibit will be featuring artifacts and other treasures dug up by local Ponyville archeologists and explorers. And certainly the shining star of the exhibit is the Equesstorial Diamond, one of the largest diamonds in the world and estimated at over 112 million Bits.”
All this was published in the Ponyville Press. But Twilight still didn’t have money on hoof so instead she could only afford the Foal Free Press, which was free. Thankfully, they too wrote an article about the new exhibit and how it was a wonderful opportunity for the foals to learn about ancient pony civilization.
This was something of a moral dilemma for Twilight. She loved learning, she loved history, and archeology. But she also really needed some Bits. Her ‘landlord,’ a carrot farmer who had a spare tool shed, was getting impatient.
“That diamond would more than pay off my debts, and my rent. If I can get it without disturbing the rest of the exhibit, I should be safe, right?”
The rake she was addressing didn’t answer.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” She grabbed a metal key in her magic. “Time to saddle up.”
She waited until nightfall. By the light of the mare in the moon, she scouted out the museum. For such a small town, it was a large building.
“Okay Twilight, how are doing this?”
Bust In
Sneak In
I quite understand about the delay. I have no problem with it. Anyway, certainly appreciate the exchanges and future chapter set-up. Definitely appreciated how Twilight could have mixed feelings (i.e. glad to get acquitted but not happy about the unprofessionalism in the courtroom while reflecting on listening to Pony Mason on the radio). Also glad to see the slight alteration to the Lawyered Up Ending (i.e. the bad feeling in her mouth while eating that sandwich instead of pursuing an armored vehicle right after leaving the courtroom). The added detail concerning Twilight's living situation after the trial was another great touch.
Since Twilight is trying NOT to get caught and also trying to minimize the damage to the museum, I would say "Sneaking In" (specifically the "Unseen Burglar" route) would probably be the best option.
Speaking of which, there could be a brief scene close to the end of the route (if it gets chosen) with Bon Bon commenting "I know Lyra was getting railroaded, but I needed a new job so I could afford a private detective to prove that what Minuette pulled in the court room was a complete lie to get Twilight acquitted."
I'm a bit disappointed. So far it seems like you are refusing to deviate from the original Henry Stickmin, even when it doesn't make sense to leave it the same. I was hoping to watch the butterflies effect this world.
I understand that it's easier the closer you stick to the original, but this needs to be more than just 'a novelization of a previous work, with the characters replaced by ponies.'
In the original it was closer to if somepony accused Pinkie of something that she did, but she needed her Pinkie powers to manage. Then she got off free because what she did was 'impossible',, and the judge didn't know her. A reasonable, if incorrect, ruling. Not this kangaroo court. This could have worked, but I feel like it needed a reason why the court was inept.
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Fair. I did toy with the idea of making the court more realistic, but decided to stay my hand because I believed the readers wanted her acquitted.
11240759
I can understand that. Of course, making the court more realistic would have meant you could have still used either the "Sneaky Escapist" or "Badflank Bust-Out" routes (since those two routes were still available), but well, I'm mature enough to respect your right to choose how you wish to do things.
Of course, when we get to "Infiltrating the Airship" and get up to the "present" in "Fleeing the Complex", the respective "Government Supported Private Investigator" and "Convict Allies" routes would probably be the two most in (future) character for Twilight as those would be good ways to show her the value of Friendship.
And, speaking of "Fleeing the Complex", perhaps you could have the head guard commenting to Twilight "This time, you AREN'T going to be able to get yourself acquitted with a fast-talking lawyer and an incompetent judge and jury."
Wasn't Lyra also one of twilight's friends from canterlot? I remember one of them mentioning how Lyra hung out with them before moving to ponyville
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That never happened here. For Lyra magic school was a bust so she moved on with her life.