Although it was quite difficult to stomach, Octavia left today open for... absolutely nothing. As she promised. She only hopes that Vinyl wakes up soon so they can at least have an obnoxious music battle some time soon. Its been far too quiet without her.
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Cute story. I always like comfy slice-of-life stuff like this. I wish it was a little bit longer though. You had some minor grammatical errors and some awkward word choice here and there, but nothing too distracting. I would complain about the real-world pop culture reference if that pun at the end hadn't made me chuckle.
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Thanks so much for the feedback! The length and possibly some word choice is because I wrote it for a 1000 words contest, but I agree that this idea probably would have been executed better if I let it be longer. Part of the reason I tried it was because I'm pretty inexperienced at writing short things. And yeah I get that. I had been thinking about replacing the TV with a boardgame but in the end I admit it was just a case of laziness. Glad you liked it though!
I don't think you want to use "falsetto" here. It indicates an artificially higher tone than the singer's natural range. Hence, you know, the "false."
Also, the TV out of nowhere took me out of the story. It's a good tale of a busy mare trying to figure out this "relaxing" business, but that shift disrupted my immersion, and the mandate length never gave me a chance to get it back. Still, thank you for this and best of luck in the judging.
hehe, love the references here!
oof, definitely something i imagine a workaholic like Octavia needs to deliberately set in her calendar, all the more so for actually following through being so difficult for her
ah, the perils of a mixed-sleeping-schedules relationship!
ehehe, love that their battle in "Slice of Life" is just something they do all the time now
ah, a very Vinyl entrance, love it
ehehe love that OctaScratch dynamic
aww, so sweet!
aww, so sweet!
ahaha, love how him being a ram lets his ponified name also be Gordon Ramsay! ah, Equestria is such a fun place
aww!
this was such a cute slice of life, and dang, it's been forever since i've read or seen anything OctaScratch! so it's very nice to see a good rendering of their dynamic again like this, like seeing an old friend you haven't in years. thank you for it!
A sweet little story =)
Cute little story. Always nice when busy people have a moment to breathe, although... well, Octavia seems so uncomfortable with having time off that I'm getting shades of the Batman the Animated Series incarnation of the Clock King. Admittedly, I did just recently re-watch the series and that episode (RIP Kevin Conroy), so maybe that's just me, but... well, let's just say I'm glad things went as well as they did.