• Published 29th Apr 2022
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Seeking - Fillyfoolish



Sunset Shimmer knows Equestrian religion is false. She has her doubts about human religions, too. As always, she turns to her friends for help. Unfortunately for Sunset, her six friends have six rather different ideas about what lies above.

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Saturday

“Are you ready, darling?”

Rarity waits for me in her driveway, standing beside a small sedan. I nod. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take the motorcycle there?”

“Psh, of course not, you’re my guest. I still attend the church from the neighborhood in which I grew up, so it’ll be a bit of drive for us. Not that I couldn’t find a Catholic church closer to home, but still.”

“It’s special to you, then?”

Rarity nods. “It’s the church my father went to with my grandparents, when he was my age. That building has quite a bit of history with my family.”

“Long drive it is, then.”

“But isn’t it lovely? We have plenty of time together before the service.” She reaches into her pocket to produce a key chain, clicks a button, and the locks on the car doors pop up. She then grabs the handle, swings open the passenger door beside us, and gestures me in. As I crawl in to the cramped space, she walks in front of the vehicle and takes the driver’s seat. “Truly, I find the long drives a bit, ah, repetitive. It will be lovely to have you here for company for a change.”

I smile. “I’m glad to be here. I’ve never been to a church before.”

She gasps as she locks the doors and ignites the engine. “Not even once? Sunset, have you been living under a rock your whole life?”

“No, last time I checked, Equestria isn’t a rock.”

“Equestrian religion, then?” She wrinkles her forehead, rubbing it with a displeased hand. “Please, for the love of God, tell me this isn’t your first time in a place of worship. There is etiquette, you see.” She glances at her rear view mirror and backs out of the driveway.

“Eh heh,” I feign a chuckle, and she throws a bemused glance of pity at me. “My parents were Solarists, which is pretty common in Equestria. But even growing up, I never took part.”

Rarity frowns. “But why not?”

I snort. “For starters, I knew for a fact every fundamental tenet of their religion was false.”

She scoffs. “Sunset! How can you say such a thing about your traditions?”

“What, do you believe that your childhood teacher and stand-in mother is actually the goddess who created the universe? Oh, and that she trapped the angel of death in the moon with the souls of the deceased?”

Without missing a beat, Rarity grins playfully. “Of course. And you don’t?”

I tap my chin. “Hmm, no, I’m afraid I don’t. Princess Celestia is just a pony. I hear Princess Luna is pretty nice these days, too, not that I ever– Watch it!” Rarity swerves the car, narrowly avoiding debris on the road. I mumble under my breath, “Maybe the ponies are right, and I’ll meet Luna today after all.” A bit louder I say, still more to myself than Rarity, “Sorry. That was rude.”

Rarity drives, quiet for a moment. My lips are more than content to dispel the uncomfortable silence filling the vehicle. “I admit, I’ve never met a Catholic who’s also a Solarist.” I raised my eyebrows cheekily. “Are you sure they’re theologically compatible?”

“Er, theologically?” She tilts her head, eyes transfixed on the road, humour giving way to accident avoidance. “That mythology is, of course, incompatible with my traditions. And the human experience, I suppose.” A quick sigh. “I am quite sorry for raising my voice. I was just surprised with how quickly you spoke ill of something you grew up with, that’s all.” Before I could respond, she tripped over her words again, speeding up as she added, “Not that there’s anything wrong with thinking for yourself, or finding another path, of course.”

“Relax, Rarity.” I smile, not that she sees.

She clears her throat. “Do tell me more about your parents’ religion. Quite a bit of the, ah, charm of Catholicism is the magic of it.” She lets out a breathy laugh. “I imagine that doesn’t hold much weight in a world where magic is commonplace.”

“Eh, you’d be surprised. I mean, in Equestria, most magic isn’t especially ‘magical’. It’s not in itself worthy of worship. It doesn’t usually interact with religious claims.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Hmm. How does gravity affect your Catholic beliefs?”

“Err, gravity as in gravitas?” Rarity asks.

“No.” I shake my head. “The force of gravity. Oh, while you’re at it, what role does electromagnetism play in your religion? How about the nuclear forces?”

A playful frown. “Darling, you know I love you both, but I think you and Twilight have been spending far too much time together.”

I chuckle. “I’m serious, Rarity. Are you saying that gravity doesn’t play a big role in Catholicism? Or electromagnetism?”

“Oh, stars, you’re serious.” Rarity blinks. “No, I don’t think any of those forces directly play a large role in my religious practice. Certainly if the world didn’t have gravity, most of the details of the religion would change. It does sound rather tricky to do communion in outer space. But the beliefs would be the same – faith in charity – and the practice would adapt.”

“Bingo.” I smile. “Everyday magic is like that in Equestria. It’s just part of the environment. If a unicorn went around Canterlot turning stuff into wine, it wouldn’t be a miracle. Most gifted unicorns can perform transfiguration.”

“I see.” Rarity’s face bunches up. “Are you implying the Bible was humans encountering Equestrian magic?”

“What? No.” I bring my hand to my forehead. “Actually, now that you mention it, that is plausible. Wait, no. That doesn’t make sense historically. Or does it? I’m getting sidetracked, aren’t I?”

“My bad. You were saying about Solarism?”

“Right. In Equestria, for something to register as a miracle to the average pony, it has to be grand. Something so magical no unicorn could accomplish it.” I roll my eyes. “Like raise and lower the sun.”

Rarity blinks. “Beg your pardon? The sun?”

“Yeah.” I bite my tongue idly. “With all the power of an alicorn. A princess with the magic of earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns together.” I lower my head. “Princess Celestia. My teacher.”

Rarity’s eyes look like they might pop out of her head if they bulge any further. “How much of Equestria are you hiding from me, Sunset?”

I chuckle, a little embarrassment lacing my voice. “I try not to dwell on the past. My home is here now.”

“Right.”

“So, my parents were Solarists, believers in the Sun. That’s why they named me Sunset.”

“I suppose that’s understandable.”

“Maybe for most Solarists. But my parents were fundamentalists in a sect that worshipped Princess Celestia. They really believed the pony Celestia to be the Divine Sun in an equine body. After they married, they honeymooned at the Summer Sun Celebration, to catch a glimpse of Celestia. They each swear her eyes caught theirs, scanning over the crowd, and they took that as a sign they needed to move from their small town to Canterlot, to be closer to divinity.” I seethe. “What a load of horse shit.”

“Sunset!” Rarity gasps.

“What? It is. Celestia told me so herself.”

“Not in those words, I should hope.”

“No, but imagine if she had.” I giggle. Rarity does not follow suit. “Right, my parents. From an early age, I displayed magic talent as a unicorn. You know what that meant?”

“That when you failed Spanish in junior year, you had no excuse?”

“Hush.” I stifle a laugh. Vaya, it’s an idioma dificil. “It meant my parents were determined to enrol me in Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I assume they wanted the vicarious divine experience. When I was a filly, they gave everything they had to make sure I’d get in. Paid for private tutors on a loan they probably never managed to pay back. They thought everything would work out if they could get me close to Celestia.”

“Did it?”

I glance down at my human form. “No, I can’t say it did. I rose to the ranks at CSGU, and Princess Celestia became my teacher. In person, she isn’t anything like my parents believed. Honestly, she was pretty twisted. Manipulative. She was trying to use me, coax me to wield the Elements of Harmony.” Before Rarity can respond, I add, “I know, pot and the kettle. I probably deserved the cruelty for the way I treated her anyway.”

“Hmm.” Rarity seems perplexed. “So what happened?”

“Celestia and I had a falling out. I screamed at my parents, said they were nut jobs and that they had to choose between me and their fantasy religion, and they didn’t pick me. I ran away to your world, enrolled in Canterlot High, and I think you know the rest.”

“Oh my.” Rarity takes one hand off the steering wheel and places it over her mouth. “I’m sorry. That’s such a dreadful way for things to end.”

“Eh.” I shrug. “Princess Twilight succeeded where I failed, showed me friendship, and led me to reconcile with Celestia. It’s a little awkward, but we’ve forgiven each other for our failings. It’s not so unusual. Teenage girls fighting their mothers is a time honoured tradition for ponies and people alike.”

Rarity giggles a bit too quickly with a blush. “Right. So your mom forgave you?”

I bite my lip. “Celestia forgave me. My birth parents never spoke to me again, not that I ever tried to reach them. Maybe someday.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Meh. I have more memories of Celestia than I do of them. I don’t know what they expected to happen.” With a smirk and a mocking voice, I say, “Oh, I would fulfil the prophecy, reunite Darkness with Light, bring forth a new era of Equestrian peace.”

Rarity raises an eyebrow. “That’s a Solarist prophecy? Does Solarism have a version of the Book of Revelations?”

“Whatever prophecies it has are wrong.” I laugh. “And that wasn’t prophecy. It’s just Princess Twilight’s résumé.”

Rarity laughs along with me. “It sounds like there is a lot I don’t know about Equestria. Now I can see why you’re interested in church.”

I nod. “Full disclosure, I have my doubts about human religions, too. But I wanted some more formal experience with them.”

“Right. You said you were visiting other places of worship, too?”

I smile slightly. “Sure. I’ll be attending another church tomorrow. Oh, and I went to synagogue with Twilight last night.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “Now that is hardly a formal occasion.”

“The synagogue was nice.” I frown.

“Yes, I’m sure it was,” she agrees quickly. “I meant any occasion with Twilight Sparkle.”

I fold my arms. “Need I remind you that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about?”

The corners of her lips quiver as she forces out in a deadpan, “I am well aware of whom I speak, dear.”

I dance my eyes as a chuckle slips out. “Of course you are.”

“At any rate, I think you’ll find Mass with me quite different than anything with Twilight. Certainly it will be different than what you grew up with.” She sighs. “Though I must confess, even in my life, religion is different than it was growing up. I’m afraid it lost the spotlight.”

“What do you mean?”

“As a child, religion was about family, and the Belle family is Catholic. That much hasn’t changed. But I’ve been so busy, starting my boutique and building my brand. I fear that I haven’t given church the priority it deserves in my life. I haven’t prioritized my family either, for that matter.” She winces as she finishes speaking.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I frown. Not that she sees. Why do I keep doing this? “Do you mind if I ask a personal question?”

She nods. “Go right ahead.”

“Do you believe in God?”

“Ah. I suppose I do.” Rarity taps her fingers against the steering wheel. “It’s not a question that’s ever bothered me. Even if I didn’t believe in God, that wouldn’t change much. I couldn’t start skipping services. That wouldn’t be proper. I was raised better than that.”

I struggle with this answer. It reminds me of Twilight’s own deism, a position Twilight is happy to hold while attending synagogue. Maybe humans don’t believe in religions as strongly as their forceful texts would make a pony think they do.

“So you’re a Catholic out of obligation, just to keep appearances?”

“Heavens no,” Rarity exclaims. “I take my religious duties seriously. It’s the right thing to do, for the sake of others if not myself.”

“I don’t follow.” I scratch my head. “Why does it matter for others if you believe in God or attend church?”

“Cast in that light, it does not,” she concedes. “You’re right, it doesn’t help others that I know the gospels. That I know what I’m supposed to believe. How I’m supposed to pray. But Sunset, I was also taught the value of good works. There is little point acting religious and believing in God if it doesn’t drive you to do good. Making every effort to be generous in my dealings is the least I can do.”

“Your generosity,” I repeat. “It’s religious?”

“Some people might say everything we do is religious,” she muses. “I’m not one of those people. But yes, the Bible teaches us to give to those in need.” She squints for a bit, then says in a funny rote voice, “Whoever cares for the poor lends to the Lord, who will pay back the sum in full. Proverbs.”

I gape. “You know Bible verses by heart?”

“I didn’t have much choice growing up,” she grumbles. “But that one stuck with me, all these years later.” A slight smile. “I’ve found that for most situations in my life, there’s an appropriate verse.” The rote voice comes back. “What has been, that will be; what has been done, that will be done. Nothing is new under the sun. Ecclesiastes.”

“Now you’re just showing off.”

Rarity blushes. “Maybe a little bit.”

“See, all I had to memorize growing up was an entire corpus of magic incantations, ranging from Starswirl’s first principles to modern enchantments.” I grin stupidly.

Now who’s showing off?” she chides in a light, teasing tone.

“Look, count your blessings.” I grumble. “You get far more use of those proverbs than I get out of Clover the Clever’s Third Method.”

“Ah, fair enough.” Rarity takes a turn around a corner, and in front of us is an impressive-looking building. We enter the parking lot, and Rarity stops the car. She turns to me in the passenger seat and smiles. “I do hope this will become a regular occurrence.”

I smirk. “Mass hasn’t even begun, and you’re already trying to turn me into a Catholic?”

“Perhaps that was a bit hasty,” she admits. “Although I was referring to the company in the car ride.”

“It was my pleasure, Rarity. Thank you for letting me tag along.”

“Letting you?” She scoffs. “You practically begged me, darling.”

“Disagree.” I fold my arms against my chest. “I asked one time politely, and you said yes. No begging whatsoever.”

Rarity balances her hands like scales. “Potato, tomato, Sunset.”

“Okay. I’m getting out of the car now.” I do as I claim.

She follows suit and closes the door. From outside, she says, “Wow, upstaging me, how unladylike.”

“Rarity!” I shout. We both laugh. She clicks her car keys and the car locks.

I take in a breath and enter the church.

Formal indeed.

There’s a first for everything.