Two weeks ago:
“Hurry brother, we don’t has much time.” Rover said to his brother as they dug for more gems.
“Why must we hurry?” Fido asked.
“Idiot!” Rover yelled slapping his brother, “Do you forget what today is?
“Last day of summer?” Rover replied.
“No!” He slapped his brother again. “Today bug pony comes; we must have offering ready.”
“Is it not ready yet?” Fido asked, covering his head.
“Yes, but we must offer more. With more, bug pony won’t hurt us and maybe leaves us alone. You forget already what she did last time.”
“What is this?!” They heard someone yell from across the cave.
“Noes, we left Spot alone, she’s here!” Rover yelled as they both ran to help their brother.
“What is this?” The tall, slender, pony-like creature asked; pointing toward several carts of jewels. “Well?”
“Mistress they are gems, gems like you wanted.” Spot answered. “You said to collect what we love most, we are sorry we could not find more. Please mercy.” Spot begged as he got on his knees.
“I can see that mutt, I said bring me what you love most, is this what you love most?”
“Yes, yes we are diamond dogs, we love diamonds and gems and jewels most.” Rover said fearing for his brother’s safety.
“I don’t believe you,” She didn’t turn her gaze from the dog in front of her. “You two, come here.” They hesitantly walked forward, Fido stood next to his brother, Rover stood in front of them both.
“You creatures disappoint me, but no matter. I have something else I require you to collect.”
“Anything mistress, anything please just spare my brothers.” Rover said.
“Ah, I knew there was something you loved more than these useless rocks.” Rover looked back at his brothers; their paws were covering their heads. “Delicious,” She paused. “Strong. You and your litter live close to Ponyville, I will need you to collect the ponies who live there.”
“Mistress we have had dealings with the ponies, they are clever we cannot collect them so easily.” Spot said.
I cannot make my move so hasty; I will need to spare these beasts for the time being she thought. “I will allow some of my subjects to remain here with you, they will aid you. You are to do everything they command, do you understand?”
“Yes mistress anything.” Rover said as he cowered at her hooves. “Do you want special ponies?” He asked.
“No, it doesn’t matter, they all look the same to me anyway, just bring them.” She responded stepping over him “I have other matters to attend to, but I will be back soon.” She said as the Diamond Dogs scampered away. Fido felt himself being lifted as he ran with his brothers.
“Look, I’m flying.” He said excited. His brothers stared at him with terror.
“I will be keeping him until my return.” She said laughing.
----
One week and three days ago:
“Bidwell get over here! Are we still being investigated?” Saxton asked his assistant. Mr. Bidwell rushed to his side.
“Excuse Mr. Hale this is a senate hearing,” Senator Delacourt said. “Tell your assistant to leave the floor before we have him arrested.
“Yes, we are sir.” Mr. Bidwell said quickly as he returned to his seat.
“I didn’t say you could leave, tell me why these politicians are wasting my time again, first the thing with the monkey and then the thing with the other monkey, now this … what is this for exactly?” Saxton asked.
“Mr. Hale you are under investigation, again, because we have reason to believe scientist under your employ and under your orders have stolen valuable property from Area 52 in New Mexico.” Senator Brackman answered.
“What?! Lies, Lies and slander, I rest my case, I’ll be leaving now.” Saxton said as he got up.
“Hale. Sit down.” Senator Gray demanded.
“What is he doing here?” Saxton asked, pointing at the man. Weren’t you here last time? There is an obvious conflict of interest going on, I rest my case.”
“Hale, we were all here last time. Senator Thomas has the scars to prove it, now sit down.” Hale squatted.
“What is Area 52, is that some sort of hunting store? I am Saxton Hale; my hands are the only hunting supplies I need to catch my breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
“Mr. Hale please, you know very well what Area 52 is and where it is located.” Senator Thomas said. “Against the better judgment of this government and after several mysterious death threats, you were allowed access to the facility. No less than one day later, several highly sensitive pieces of technology were stolen. What this committee wants is to convict you, arrest you, the return of the stolen technology, and to know what your plans to do with them were.”
“I don’t threaten, I promise. I rest my case, I’ll be leaving now.” Saxton said as he got up.
“Saxton, as your lawyer I highly suggest you stop saying that.” His lawyer stood up. “Gentlemen, this committee has made numerous accusations against my client in the past. But this one, with all due respect, is the most ludicrous. My client, who I would like to remind you is the fourth richest man on Earth, does not commit petty theft, nor does he order others to do so. I would like to see the evidence you may have against him or anybody in his employ.”
“Exhibits A through C: One deerstalker cap with a Mann Co. label stitched to the front, one detonated Model 24 Stielhandgranate hand grenade; although highly damaged, the Mann Co. logo is visible, several empty bags of corpse-grade, quick drying, limestone cement.”
“This is ridiculous, obviously the thief was a customer of Mann Co. there is a reason why my client is the fourth richest man alive, but he is not responsible for what those customers do with his products. Every product sold comes with a liability waiver, granting my client immunity from any actions, criminal or otherwise, that may be committed with them.”
“Bring in exhibits D through Z, Alpha through Omega, and Anton through Zacharias. Exhibit D: One video recording of Mr. Hale speaking to several men outside of Area 52. Exhibit E …”
“Saxton we may be here a while, but don’t wor …”Hale raised his eyebrow at his lawyer. “I mean, I’m sorry, you’ll be out of here before your evening hunt.”
----
One week ago:
“Hello sister, how has your evening been?” Luna asked sitting on her throne.
“Hello Luna, well I sent a strange creature home today and enjoyed a walk around Canterlot. And how has your day been?” Celestia asked her sister. She saw Luna holding a small purple box in her hooves.
“Well, there was another shooting star tonight, I was able to divert it to a clearing in Sweet Apple Acres, hopefully it did not damage any of the earth ponies’ apples. Oh, I also found this wonderful contraption while I was looking in the royal archives.” Luna said as she raised the small plastic machine so her sister can see. “It produces lights and sounds, and gaze upon this, when I push this red button, the creature inside jumps.”
“Odd,” Celestia said with a smile, “You’ll have to let see it later. Um, Luna is it strange that we’ve had two falling stars in less than three days?”
“It is rare, but not unheard of, what I am more concerned about are these letters we keep receiving.” She said pointing at a pile of scrolls next to her throne. She continued pressing buttons on her new toy. “Ooh, the numbers inside increase when I collect the bits.”
“Don’t worry about those, Twilight Sparkle writes me a letter every week. Sometimes I don’t bother reading them at all. It is the same pic---”
“These aren’t from Twilight Sparkle or from any other pony in Equestria. And they all appear to have only ‘soon’ written on them. Very ominous, though cliché.” She became more enamored with the action inside her toy. “Huzzah, I crushed another walking mushroom.”
“If you are worried, have the royal guard set a perimeter around Canterlot and have them intercept all the letters to the castle.” Celestia said as she stood next to her sister looking onto the screen.
“I am not the one who should be worried; I think you, dear sister, are trying to hide your worry.” Luna said putting her toy down.
“Why should I be worried? You’re the one who suspects danger, it sounds like you’re the one who’s worried. Can I see that thing?” Celestia asked reaching for the toy.
“No, and I am not worried.” Luna answered, as she tried to keep it away from her sister.
“Yes you are.” Celestia teased.
“No I am not” Luna responded.
“Yes you are.”
“No I am not!” She yelled, her voice shaking the room.
“Calm down Luna, no need to use the royal voice, especially if,” she motioned Luna over to her, she whispered in her ear, “You’re so worried.” She grabbed her sister’s toy and flew around the room with it.
“No I am not and give that back.” Luna began to chase her
“Are too”
“Am not”
“Are too”
“Am not”
“Your highnesses,” Postal Mark walked in and saw the two sisters bickering. “Oh, I see you two are busy I’ll, um, I’ll just leave this letter here.” He said leaving the room quietly. Princess Celestia gave the toy back to her sister and opened the letter.
Princess Celestia chuckled “Worried wart.” She said as she read the letter. “Oh my, apparently there is a situation in Tartarus, looks like Cerberus ran away again and … a dragon has appeared? That is strange. I will need to journey there immediately, please watch out for the ponies and Equestria, I will be back soon.” Celestia said leaving the room.
“Sister, please be careful.” Luna called out. She walked back to her throne and started playing with her toy again. “A flower has given me the power of to conjure orbs of fire? How absurd. Ha! Turtles are no match against my wizard of flames.”
----
Six days ago:
“Spike, have you seen my copy of Daring Doo and the Chalice of Ice. I haven’t read it yet and I can’t let Rainbow borrow it until I finish it.” Twilight asked as Spike ate his breakfast.
“Why?” He asked, munching on a sapphire.
“We’re in a reading race, I’m ahead right now, but she can catch up pretty fast, I need to keep up my lead. So, have you seen it?” She said knocking over books on her shelves.
“Yeah,” He said with a chuckle “Dash borrowed it the day after Mumphy came.”
“What? Aw, she’s probably finished with it by now, I won’t be able to catch up.” She sighed. “Oh well, want to come with me to go visit Applejack and our new visitor.” She said perking up. Before Spike could answer he heard a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it.” He opened the door and saw the blue pegasus. “Hi Rainbow, I hear you’re winning the race.”
“Huh” She said confuse “Oh, hello Twilight I have come to return your book.”
“Thanks Rainbow, how was it?”
“Um, I don’t remember, anyway Zecora told me that she wants you to visit her.” She said quickly, looking uncomfortable.
“Oh, um, where is she?” Twilight asked. “You see, I was gonna go with Spike to Sweet Apple Acres and see how our new friend was doing, maybe you and Zecora would like to come with us?”
“No, it’s an emergency you must come with us, err, me right now. You too Spike.”
“Oh my, what happened? Is Zecora hurt or ---”
“No time to explain, come on, got to Dash.” She said as she flew toward the Everfree Forest.
“Rainbow wait, are you …” Rainbow Dash flew out of sight. “Okay.” Twilight said annoyed. “C’mon Spike we need to go see what’s wrong.”
“Did she say ‘got to Dash.’?” Spike said laughing as he jumped on his friends back. Twilight ran off chasing after Rainbow Dash.
----
Today:
“Okay there,” the Engineer said putting his palms up. “No need t’ eat me. Look let me take out ma guitar and I can show you a thing or two.” He brought his guitar out and began playing. “Ya see, nice music, how about you relax and enjoy it.” The Ursa began to sway. “Yeah, good bear, nice bear.” A guitar string broke. The sound echoed through the cave. “Oh crap.” The Ursa roared and snapped his jaws at him. The Engineer smashed his guitar over the creature’s nose, the Ursa stepped back and pawed his snout. The Engineer began to bang on the door. “Help me!” He yelled as it cracked open. He ran inside, the door closed behind him, he could hear the Ursa scratching at it.
“Who are you? Wait, I know that shade of red, you’re that visitor, have you come to help us?” He heard a voice ask behind him. He turned around and saw a white unicorn chained to the wall.
“I guess I am missy, listen do you know a pony by the name of Applejack or Twilight Sparkle.” He asked.
“Of course I do, they’re just two of my best friends. I am Rarity sir and I hate to be rude, but do you think you could...?” She asked looking at her chains.
“Let me see what I can do about that.” He pulled his wrench “Stay still” He gave it a strong whack. “Those critters must be really strong or these chains got to be pretty weak.”
“Oh, I assure these chains are not weak, I casted every spell I knew and barely made a scratch. Let’s go, I saw those dogs bring in the others, they kept me separated because we …ahem, have a history.” The two walked deeper into the cave.
“Wait a minute, if you up here why did I hear Twilight Sparkle call for help.”
“Magic darling, she can amplify her voice, surprisingly I haven't yet asked her to teach me. Now come along they should be just around …” She gasped. “Oh my look at these jewels, there must be thousands.”
“That’s our Rarity always having her priorities straight.” Twilight said chained to the wall, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Spike were sleeping next to her.
“I was just joking Twilight, let me introduce you to, um, I’m sorry what was your name sir?” Rarity asked the Engineer.
“Dell Conagher, ma’am, the Engineer.” He responded
“Mr. Conagher, and if you don’t mind, could you free my friends.”
“Mr. Conagher is my father, call me Dell.” He said as he walked over to the ponies. He was able to break them just as easily.
“Thank you Mr., um, Dell, I’ve been trying to break them for hours or maybe days, I’m not exactly sure.” Twilight said as she stroked her chin. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, that’s Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Spike.”
“Ah know who you are Ms. Sparkle, I meet ya in Ponyville.” The Engineer said. “And Spike; and Applejack over there has been takin’ care of me with Fluttershy.”
“Um, are you sure? We’ve been in here for, um, I don’t remember how long, it feels like I should know, but … I think we should get out of here.” Twilight said as the two sleeping ponies and Spike woke up.
“Dell, you're okay.” Applejack said happily. “Wait, what’s going on.” She said looking at the broken chains at her legs.
“Ow, I don’t know, but my head hurts, huh.” Rainbow Dash said looking at her surroundings. “Um, guys where are we?”
“Come to think of it,” Rarity began. “I don’t remember how I got here either, but those Diamond Dog ruffians have something to do with it, I saw them when they brought you four in.”
“Have they been making you look for jewels again Rarity?” Twilight asked.
“I don’t think they have, they put me in a separate room, but they haven’t said a word to me. I don’t think they have even looked at me the whole time I have been here.”
“Have you tried whining?” Rainbow asked, holding in a giggle.
“Wait, wait, wait …” The Engineer interrupted “Look, me and Applejack visited you and the dragon back in Ponyville. And Applejack, I just hit someone upside the head who looked exactly like you.”
“And why did you do that?” She asked.
“She, it, tried to buck me inta a hole in the ground. And it hurt when you did that by the way.” Applejack looked down in shame.
“Sorry.” She replied.
“Wait, I remember following Rainbow somewhere and then ending up here.”
“What!” Rainbow said in shock. “I didn’t lead you here, I don’t even know what I’m doing here, I was reading Daring Doo, but I do know I was here before all of you.” Rainbow Dash pouted. "They could've at least left the book."
“Oh no where’s Fluttershy, where’s Pinkie?” Twilight asked.
“Ah don’t know, but let’s stop wasting time and git ---” Applejack began.
“Ponies are escaping! No get back, you can’t leave!” Rover yelled.
“It was you … wait weren’t there three of you last time?” Rarity asked. “No matter we are leaving and you are not going to stop us.”
“No please, she, she has our brother.” Spot pleaded.
“Who does?” Applejack asked
“The bug pony,” Rover said “Please help us.”
whelp, there's th' conflict.
Fabulous
"Is she still sending the same pic---” I see what you did there.
"Twilghit Sparkle"...... really? There are other typos or misspellings here and there but this one just completely killed the pacing of the story for me. I would suggest getting somebody to work on editing before you post each chapter up
WAT IS IT TOADY??? (4th line has toady instead of today I assume.)
and I'm not sure, but I think "Dash" in "got to Dash" should not be capitalized.
I love how this is going, but I just want to point those out
It's half one in the morning. Oh well, I can sleep in school...
I think you meant Twilight.
Is Luna playing Super Mario?
Chrysalis.
I was listing to this listening when I read this, it was .... strange to say the least.
LUNA!!! STOP PLAYING MARIO AND RULE EQUESTRIA!!!! I'm also wondering where in the hell Luna got the mario game, and more importantly how she can play it without fingers.
you're losing me here, tatony.
I felt that the ending was a bit rushed and didn't have enough detail, but overall it was still a good chapter can't wait for the next.
"LUNA!!! STOP PLAYING MARIO AND RULE EQUESTRIA!!!! I'm also wondering where in the hell Luna got the mario game, and more importantly how she can play it without fingers."
Magic.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQxTKB_Xa6nGuAvrmddua8GOUZ7gwqhAm567b6Q9T6DKE2Z0Ng5
Hey would it be weird (and probably funny) if Luna somehow got and played team fortress and goes all fan girl or some thing when she sees the team?
so luna playing mario eh
Please. Get an editor.
1327939 in the words of photo finish. The MAGICZ!
132804iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-sherlock-pie.gif
It would seem we have a few spahs around here.
Wewt Changelings.
Chances are you've read none of my stories. But one of my jokes is in there.
If only pyro was here. We need a spy check in the worst possible way right now. That, and also make Pinki happy.
A very poorly written chapter compared to the previous ones.
What you did with this chapter, I see it. encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTCaEUNtea6E0Z0p-DqtKnt-BqQEGtAxQu7JBMBZ4IhT5um-4TL
update? Computer is on the other side of the room? Challenge accepted.
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1327869
REALITY COMPROMISED:ENGAGING CLOWN
1327939
______________________________________________
nice!i lmfaoed at luna playing mario and also could you please make engineer make a sentry?even level 1 woulod be enough!it is so logic!engineer with wrench+metals(broken chains)=AWESOMENESS OF AN SENTRY
This story dissapointed me.
I read your "Pinkie meets the pyro" first, and I enjoyed that one a lot. Pretty short, nothing too long or too dastardly about it, no outside forces plotting and all that.... a nice refreshing fic. Yay.
But this one is way off. I had high hopes, so maybe that's why I feel so disappointed, but still, I am disappoint!
The story goes waaaay too fast, and there's not nearly as much reaction as there should be! Yeah, you give it some of the "talking pony wtf?" by engineer, but everything just sort of.... happens.
You don't really elaborate on much. It goes on, and stuff happens, and that's it. There's not really much to it, where in the other story it had more.... I guess I could go with the word wholesomeness, but I dunno.
I really wish it was a bit better though
I have completely lost my ability to even.
Good day, sirs.
This was poorly written I'm sorry to say. Ill stick with it but I'm loosing interest. It lacks the simple charm of pinkie meets the pyro.
1327857 In regards to the last one, the Diamond Dogs either don't know or don't care about names, in line with them being kinda stupid
At first i was like
Did the changelings and diamond dogs team up?
Then i was like
That no good.... bug...
1327869 hmmm song fits in. also i think the univerce is falling apart. how els can luna play super mario
static4.fjcdn.com/comments/So+he+likes+Minecraft+plays+in+Miniclip+Armorgames+Happy+Wheels+_12e3dc765aa51c21f697db080cc2e84f.jpeg : Son I'm going to blow that dumb look right off your stupid face
halflife2.net/news//1172497967_SentryGun1.jpg
Make Luna play Team Fortress 2
Meh. I will finish reading it but it's not as good as PMP
1327939 She held it with hooves and used magic to press buttons?
Anddddd here's my final opinion...
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Mmmmmm needs less pointless drama and more funny Hale and the other TF2 people and also more cuiteness.
I am loosing too much interest on this story now.
Saxton Hale isn't yelling and fighting who knows what.
The team seems to just be the same when Pyro went missing.
The story goes by TOO fast to even be enjoyable.
Really, it's about quality, not quantity.
1334823 Oh yeah. I feel bad because I want to like this story but when the author basically says to hell with feedback and continues to make the same mistakes over and over again, it's gets kind frustrating.
Character are acting out of character, using changeling feels like an attempt to explain that but in truth it makes it worse as there's no lead in to it not much reason behind it. I mean Queen Chrysalis is the one villain who had a reasonable and obtainable goal so far: invade Canterlot and obtain food. Here she's basically being evil for the lulz. I mean really? Taking the dog's diamonds and gems? So the Changling queen has stooped to petty thievery? Oh and she kidnaps a diamond dog not because she's taking his place, but as insurance. Kinda of a bland villain really. So yeah, Queen Chrysalis is OOC as well.
Engie breaks the ponies free without any trouble....where is the conflict here? The challenges that the heroes must overcome at great risk to themselves? Putting their lives on the line for their friends and loved ones? And no interpreting that as meaning blood and gore all the way doesn't get you off the hook, it can be done because the show has done it three times already without needing to rely on that.
So basically:
Characters are OOC quite often.
Character motivations are none existent.
Plot twist comes out of nowhere with no lead in or foreshadowing.
Plot is basically being drug along tracks to the end.
An editor is needed to comb through the fic at least once.
Suggestion: LISTEN TO FEEDBACK! People have been pointing out what needs to be fixed and in turn are being ignored.
1335403 I have an explanation! Search for "learning about plots with Cheerilee" (because the pic is huge and the mods are everywhere!)
So twilight, dash and spike are leaving...
Then nothing!
Then apparrently hours afterward Engie breaks in the door running from an ursa? and now everybody but shy and pinkie are chained to the walls, asleep?
Was there a musical number that got scrapped?
Captain, this story's losing structural integrity! Ah dinna know if she can manage the pace!
1327939 How? Magic.
1338595
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1327857 She's playing Mario.
1 yay for luna playing mario
2 invaders (Changelings) must die!
3 deploy sentry!
1 yay for luna playing mario
2 invaders (Changelings) must die!
3 deploy sentry!
1338932 Exactly.
1339376
Yup, I noticed when she mentioned the Fire Flower in other words.
The Engineer has a wrench.
The Engineer has metal.
Why hasn't he made a single sentry yet. :U
1287093
THE MOARWHAL MOARS AT MOARNIGHT!