Chapter 4
“So, can ya tell me where we’re going now or do I have to wait till we get in deeper?” The Engineer asked. The two hadn’t spoken since they left Sweet Apple Acres. The Engineer borrowed Big McIntosh’s wrench and Applejack was carrying two saddlebags filled of apples. “And is this trip gonna be that long, why do we need all these apples?”
“Some are just in case we get hungry.” Applejack answered. “Ah brought the rest so we can throw them at critters to scare them off, never know what we’re gonna find out here in the forest. Twi said there’s a cave ‘round here where we can find Princess Celestia.”
“Can you tell me what didn’t she want me to hear?”
“Well, she didn’t say much; she just told me to remember everything that happens and to make sure you get back home. I don’t know why she did all of her little secret talk. She was actin’ mighty peculiar.”
“Should I be worried?”
“No, well, maybe, ya see, here in the Everfree Forest everything is off. Plants grow on their own, animals care for themselves, and clouds move by themselves, they don’t even need the pegasus to make rain.”
“And in Equestria, that ain’t normal?”
“Dell, I wouldn’t want to live in a place where that’s normal.”
“Right … if yer so scared why didn’t we bring more ponies? And what do we do when we get there anyway?”
“Ah … it’s a secret.” Applejack answered
“Which one?” He asked.
“The bringin’ more ponies part, but when we get there, we just find Princess Celestia and you can go back home, I guess.”
“You guess? All you ponies are the same, ah guess, ah don’t know, it’s a secret. Yer all probably lying to ma face and I would never know.” The Engineer began ranting.
“Listen mister, I’m the element of honesty, ah don’t lie, you ever hear me lie, it ain’t me. Got it?”
“You don’t lie, a lot of people don't lie. Only honest people don't need to say that.” He said looking around; he heard a noise coming from the bushes.
“You doubtin’ me motha hubbard? I don’t lie, I even have a necklace with a little apple jewel on it that proves it.” Applejack said pointing to her cutie mark.
“Listen pony, I rightly don’t care if yer honest or not, in fact, I don’t care what we do because I already decided that this place ain’t real.” Applejack stopped in front of him. “I messed up ma experiment and now I’m hallucinating. That’s all, the teleporter blew up in my face, I’m just killing time before I croak or wake up. How could any of this be real, yer a talking horse, coming from a town of talking horses. With dragons, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back by the way. This whole place is just ---”
“If this place ain’t real, why’d you even bother apologizing to Fluttershy, huh mister?” She poked his chest. “Why are you out here? Why did ya drag me out here with ya if you think this ain’t real!” He stayed silent as he tried to think of a reason.
“I don’t know, but this ain’t real, it’s as simple as that. You and your family, all this, is just a dream.” Applejack gritted her teeth.
“Oh right, well, if this is a really just some dream, let me wake you up.” She bucked him in his stomach; he felt the wind knocked out of him. He fell to his knees and started gasping for air. “Is this still a dream?” She asked. His vision began to blur. “Oh shoot, I held back as much as I could, I didn’t hit you that hard did I? Are you hurtin’ bad? I’m so sorry, please; don’t move till you get yer air back. I’ll carry ya all the way. You’ll be fine, I promise.” He saw a dark figure approach behind Applejack.
“Be, be, behind …” he gasped out as Applejack fell in front of him. He felt someone hit the back of his head. He fainted.
----
“Administrator, you have a call from Mr. Hale’s office.” Ms. Pauling said over the intercom. Helen picked up the phone.
“Hello? Yes. How is it coming along? What? Excuse me, what did he do?” Helen began to grind her teeth, it was a habit she wanted to break and instead picked up a stress ball from the box in her drawer.
“He crushed it in his hand.” Mr. Bidwell repeated.
“One more time please.” She squeezed the ball until it popped, she threw it at the corner, where a small piled had formed.
“He crushed it in his hand ma’am. And it is no longer possible to build any more. It was made with irreplaceable technology. Please don’t hurt me.” Mr. Bidwell found himself with the phone hiding under his desk. He heard Saxton yell for him, he was terrified of both.
“Bidwell, where are you?! The President is on his way! The Ruckus in my Office will begin once he arrives! Reddy! Come up with a better name!”
“Don’t worry, you’re just the messenger and I would never kill the messenger.” She hung up the phone. “Ms. Pauling, come in here please.”
“Yes Administrator?” Miss Pauling asked walking into the office quickly.
“How much would it cost to kill Hale and his buffoon of an assistant, Bedwell?” Helen asked.
“For Mr. Bidwell …” Miss Pauling looked at her clipboard, “You have several employees who would do it for free. But Hale is the fourth richest man alive and unfortunately the most dangerous. It may cost several hundred million dollars.”
“To hire one man?” Helen asked mildly surprised.
“No ma’am, for an army, err, several armies” Miss Pauling answered.
“Of mercenaries?”
“No ma’am, actual soldiers, only one man would dare to fight Saxton, but he’s deceased, you would need to pay off several governments in order to use their weapons and man power. Should I call the dictators?”
“No, no, that would destabilize everything, besides too public.” Helen thought for a moment. “Invite him to dinner.”
“Dinner, do you want me to have the chef poison his food?”
“No I’ve tried that before, the man has an iron stomach. It’s disgusting, really. Just invite him to dinner and I’ll take care of the rest.” Helen said turning back around to her television screens.
“Might I suggest ma’am,” Miss Pauling said meekly “Mr. Hale is going have Mr. Bidwell fight a Yeti, perhaps you would like to place a wager in Mr. Bidwell’s favor?”
“And why would I want to do that?” Helen asked her assistant.
“Well, it is a no holds barred, fight to the death. Perhaps we can aid him and you can find a way to humiliate Mr. Hale.” Miss Pauling said.
“I knew there was a reason I hired you Miss Pauling.” Helen said with a smile. “Call the Prime Minister of Canada; tell him I will be wagering his country and get me a plane to Australia.”
----
“Spike! Someone’s at the door, can you get that? Twilight asked her assistant.
“You’re right here; I don’t see why you can’t …” Spike grumbled as he answered the door.
“Hello Spike, how are you?” Fluttershy asked.
“Twilight, it’s Fluttershy!” He yelled out before going back inside. Twilight came out to greet the pegasus.
“You don’t have to yell Spike, I’m right here. Hello Fluttershy, how can I help you?” She said standing at the doorway.
“Hi Twilight, I heard that Applejack and Mr. Conagher were heading here.” Fluttershy said. Twilight Sparkle stared at her.
“And?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, I was just wondering, I mean, I wanted to ask if you’ve seen Applejack and, um, Mr. Conagher?” Fluttershy asked as she tried to step inside, Twilight blocked her path.
“I did, they came by here asking about Princess Celestia, I told them to go to Canterlot.” Twilight said quickly.
“Oh, but I thought ---”
“I know what you thought, but you were wrong. The Princess is back now, so she can send him back home quickly and easily.”
“Oh, but, um, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.” Fluttershy said as she began to tear up.
“Well then here’s your chance, goodbye.” Twilight slammed the door in her face.
"These ponies I swear, you think you meet the most irritating one and there's another knocking on your door, with even more irritating questions." Twilight told an uncaring Spike, loud enough for Fluttershy to hear her outside.
“Oh, oh dear, um, goodbye Twilight.” Fluttershy said quietly as she walked away crying.
----
“Where am I? Not again. Is this a new hallucination? The Engineer said as he looked around dazed.
“I told you already, this ain’t a dream.” Applejack said standing over him.
“I guess not, what happened?” He got up and felt a metal clasp around his leg, “What’s this?”
“You fell over and then we got knocked out by something. Don’t worry though, I’ve been awake this whole time and I figured out how to escape.”
“Escape … Escape from what? Why are we chained up?” He heard a roar coming from the end of the cave.
“That’s Ursa Minor, you wouldn’t want to meet that one face to face and that goes double for the major momma.” She began to buck the chain off her leg, it broke easily. “Your turn, now hold still.” She bucked the chain off of his leg.
“Who’s Ursa Minor, is that another pony?”
She laughed “No Conagher, Ursa Minor is a gigantic magic star bear. C’mon if we move fast we can get you home.” She began to walk, but saw he wasn’t following her.
“What? How? And who chained us up anyway?” He asked. Applejack moved behind him and started to push him further into the cave.
“Ah don’t know, but ah think it would be better to get yerself home right now. C’mon there’s an entrance around here somewhere, Twilight told me.”
“An entrance, is it that easy? And what about yer Princess, I thought we were looking fer her? He asked trying to hold his ground against Applejack.
“Help! Help us!” He heard a familiar voice yell.
“Wait wasn’t that yer friend?” He snapped his fingers trying to remember her name. “Twilight, right? What is she doing here? We have to go help her.” He said as he began to walk toward the noise.
“Does that really matter right now? C’mon you said none of this was real anyway.” She continued pushing him until they reached a large crevice. ”Here’s the entrance; now you go on then mister, we, ah mean, ah can take care of everything.”
“The entrance is down there? What, you want me to jump in?” He asked looking down. He spit into the crevice and saw it disappear in the darkness, he couldn’t hear it reach bottom.
“That’s what Twilight told me, now go on.” She began to nudge him to the edge.
“Now hold on a minute. Hallucination or not, I don’t jump just cause someone tells me t’. Now why don’t you explain t’ me what’s going on?” Applejack smiled at him, then turned around and tried to buck him. He quickly moved out of the way.
“That’ll only work once …” He began to remember what happened. He saw that Applejack eyes were turning blue. “You lied.” He said.
“So,” She tried once more to buck him into the opening.
“What the -, what the hell are you trying to do pony?” He asked moving away and reaching for his wrench.
“I’m not a pony, you freak; now get in your grave!” The creature said trying to ram him; the Engineer swung at it with his wrench and hit its cheek. It didn’t faze the creature. “Weak! Pathetic, we'll visit you're world next.” It told him.
“Help us! Is anybody there!” He heard Twilight yell again.
“Im’ma comin’” The Engineer pulled out his guitar and smashed it over the creature’s head. It slumped to the floor. Plenty more where that came from he thought. He let the shattered pieces of guitar drop from his hand and ran toward the cries for help. “Don’t worry critter. I’m coming” As he ran back, he saw the pieces of broken metal chains and picked them up. I could use this scrap. He thought. He came to a large door. As he tried to push them open he heard something snarl from behind him. He turned around “Whoa doggy, you are a big mother hubbard, ain’t ya?” He said. The Ursa sniffed the Engineer. “That’s right, I’m friendly, no need to eat me.” The Engineer slowly reached into his back pocket for another guitar. The Ursa roared.
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first
GUITAR FIGHT BEGIN
CURSE YOU CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
INFINITE GUITARS!
right as I finish the last chapter you update, must by psychic. Aside from that, nice chapter. I can't wait for more.
i wanna see him make a turret
........ Changelings? I JUST DONT KNOW!!! IM CONFUSED!!!! WHATS GOING ON !?!?!?
Three words: "Sentry goin' up"
1315072 1315132 1315032
I see...
LET FIGHT NIGHT BEGIN!!!
*Ding Ding Ding!!!*
Mother of god... Infinite guitars.....+THREE HUNDRED DAMAGE
media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/201/1427259-honky_tonk_man_thumb.jpg Achievement Unlocked: Honky Tonk Man.
This is what he gets for not having the Eureka Effect equiped.
Engie has access to hammerspace? er, guitarspace?
Engineer. Cmon, he's not gonna keep acting nice. He HAS to kill something infront of them soon. HE IS A FREAKING MERC!! CMON! but so far i like... So farrrrr
{Gasp}
My Deliverance Banjo-Guitar Duel senses are tingling!
1315310
What do you mean? Engineer is the sanest guy of the team, and therefore, the nicest. The one who would act rude and want something to die is Soldier.
Pyro shouldn't even have acted friendly like he did in the prequel, he should of probably have acted crazy or something like that.
Get some sentries in here!
1315490 Yes the man is civilized
But even a gentleman has limits, and any of them in Equestria.... 
Would try all of their patience
I will give you half my Internets if you make it that Dell taunt kills the Ursa in one shot.
OR
A quarter of my Internets if his music soothes the savage beast.
1314673 i was making a joke
1315513 and not so much pyro, he sees ballonicorns, equestria is just like a practical pyrovision world
1315156
Erectin' a beating.
*headesk* Really?! The whole twist is basically "changelings happened" without any kind of foreshadowing or lead in?
On top of that both Engie and Applejack are out of character again. Engie is basically being a jackass for the sake of being one while Applejack freaking bucks him because he didn't believe her? She then apologizes rather insincerely and acts contrite. Jesus, how about pacing it a bit as to not give readers mood whiplash from Applejack's mood shifts.
Come on. I was expecting good shenanigans with Engineer.
1315132 1315156 1315493 NO!, we need 128,512 sentries!!
Engi is best mercenary (after sniper)
Spy wuld be fun in Equestria. What a fun game that would be...
13159490*body gets covered in white harmony power and turns the voice volume up to 10000000000000* WEEEEEEEEE NEED OVER A MILLION SENTRIES!!!!!!
Ok then just HOW deep are this guys pockets anyways?! :P
1315224 So where the hell is his frontier justice then?
1315493>>1315156>>1315132>>1315949 NEED A DISPENSER HERE! NEED A DISPENSER HERE! NEED A DISPENSER HERE!X50000
1316735 TARDIS technology. It comes standard in impossible situations.
1316629 But they didn't take his goggles or guitar.
So... guitars can be used as weapons. Now how about violins?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png
1317615 Why not Pyro uses a tuba remember?
i.qkme.me/35syua.jpg
1315005
1316629 He has
's wrench. Nuff said.
1317695 Pyros 'tuba' was originally a flamethrower. Watch the new trailer for meet the pyro. He only calls it a tuba.
1320017I know I has just trying to make a joke is all.
I find myself laughing the most at the TF2 world scenes. Especially with Saxton & that lady. Ever thought of making longer versions of Tf2 scenes?
1317066 WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?!! I've been in so many impossible situations in my 21,000,000,000,000 years of living and have never ONCE been able to pull a gitaur out of my back pocket! *mumbles to self* but thare was that one time i pulled a tank out of my shirt pocket in my tuxedo. *looks dreamily at the sky while i start looking rippley*
1321038 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png
I don't think it's meant to say that...
Saxton Hale is perfect
"The Engineer slowly reached into his back pocket for another guitar."
so funny made me lol. you do a perfect Saxton Hale, valve would be proud.
1317792
this is true
Infinite guitars?
brittanyherself.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/WhatIsThisFuckery.gif
1315773 Mood whiplashes abound!! Yeah, the whole story is getting a bit weird.
UN SPY!
"Spy 'round here"