Come what may and test what will, I always find peace in some form of writing. Be it famous, hidden, or simply my own, it is and forever will be a sanctuary.
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There is a thing that does not see, that does not sleep, and does not dream. It waits and ponders while it watches with bait. Tantalizing the youngest and fooling the eldest. From a myth forgotten, from a nightmare ended, he walks the forest of the cursed.
The Slender Man.
Prior to Season 3
Story two in my Twidash Challange: Dark Theme
Poem by kitten-ears11
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Imma pull a RWJ here and FIRST!! Ha, I win.
Also, great job bud. Though, I think I said that in the comments on the googledoc. Oh well, never hurts to say things twice.
1402884
How... how did you comment before this was approved?
1403734 Dude, you put it on your page. Did you not see the view count or box on your page with the stories in it. People other than me have been here too. That's why it's got 4 views. Like I said in the past, when I'm bored I rummage through people pages. Your's and The Grey Pegasus's mostly, but alot of random authors too. I was bound to see the box on your page. Understand?
1403776
I... yeah-but... approval?
1403786 You don't need approval to read a story. As long a chapter is published and there's a link to the page you can view it. If you didn't notice, yesterday I posted a blog for my story 'Octavia and Vinyl meet Nero's Day At Disneyland' and included a link for my followers to view it before it passed moderation. I actually thought you were one of those views, but with your confusion on this matter I guess not. Oh well, doesn't really matter.
1403806
No, I was, and by the time I read it, it was on the front page!
1403826 Yeah, about that. The mods have been so janky lately it's hard to tell how long you have to wait for a story to get approved. They should think about getting some more moderators of something 'cause with their slow and predictable story approving rates, what ever gets lucky enough to be one of the last approved gets to sit on the front page for like 6 or so hours, gaining exposure even if it's not a very good tale. That's just how this site is working at the moment.
Oh well, what can ya do?
Also, opinion on my new story? So far it's looking like the people don't like it. It doesn't really matter to me how one of my stories do, I just like to know people do look forward to when I update it. If no one is looking forward for updates then I mine as well shut it down, like what I'm most likely going to do for the Nero's Day At Disneyland one since not a single person faved. That means no one would notice any updates, making continuing it pointless except for my own self-satisfaction. Which really isn't worth it in my opinion. So, what was your take on the story? Worth continuing or not?
P.S. I forgot to fave this and Progress so I'm doing that now.
So then, the second story of your challenge. Can you, oh wizard of words, live up to your name?
Hmmm... interesting.
I find it a little odd that the Equestrians have books dedicated to facets of our culture, particularly our modern culture. To the point where they have sections on the Slenderman Mythos. This isn't a Conversion Bureau fic is it?
I've always found Slenderman/mane/mare stories to be really disappointing. Slenderman is a scary monster for a couple of reasons, namely that he is subtly alien, and that we are helpless against him. Or, to put it more bluntly, he's scary because he digs right into the primal terror of helplessness, intellectual and physical. We cannot fight him. We cannot comprehend him. We can only run, with the knowledge that he has chosen us and will not relent, a light that numbs the mind instead of enlightens it.
The problem is that the Mane 6 are basically a high level DnD party. They deal with weird magic and evil world conquering threats every six months like clockwork. They've taken on Discord who, for all intents and purposes, is about on par with Cthulu for power-level and basically Nyarlathotep for six year old girls, so something like the Slenderman should, logically, be a peace of cake. Every time I've read a Slenderman story, I really had to ask myself why Twilight doesn't just pick up a tree and beat him to death with it. That feeling of helplessness and terror has to be there, and fridge logic has to be smothered. Keep that in mind when writing, while, at the same time, avoid giving us any answers. Twilight swats him with a weeping willow, and sends him flying into the forest... only for her to turn around to see him standing on the opposite end of the clearing, unharmed. Why? Who cares! Get the hell out of there.
Also, try to keep in mind what would make the Slenderman scary from the Pony's perspective. The trick of horror fiction, so I am told, is not to scare the audience, but to scare the characters and have the audience sympathize. Emphasize the... alien nature of the Slenderman. How it does not appear living. How it seems to ignore natural law like time and space without any overarching logic.
I really do hate to nag you on all of my misgivings and musings on the idea of a Slender x Ponies crossover... because I actually liked this. I think, as far as making him scary, you are doing a decent job so far. Better than the other Slenderfics I've read. The mood here is set up subtly and well. The storm. Twilight's frustration. The poem. These are all great mood pieces, and I think you may have grasped, at least intuitively, what I was talking about by focusing on character fear rather than audience fear. I think I may enjoy where this is going.
Now that I am done rambling on about the horror and the Slenderman, let us move on to the shipping... which I also liked. I think you have a good, friendly dynamic between Dash and Twilight for the most part. Although one thing I found really jarring was their sarcastic back and forth. I get that they were teasing, and I do stuff like that with my friends... it just didn't come off as cute or funny to me. It was... weird. Jarring. Also, I am having a little trouble telling if the two of them are in a relationship or not already. I don't think so... but they seem awfully fine snuggling and hugging and all that, and then there was that weird tension when Twi made fun of Dash for oggling the picture of a human.
Now that I have chewed your baby to pieces, I will say that, I am very interested where this will go, and despite my criticism, will keep an eye on her as she progresses. Keep up the potential you displayed and we might have a pretty good yarn hear.
1405301
Yeah, I understand the concern for having a monster being just "there" and hoping that the rest of the main cast is scared by it. I have considered that, which is why Slender Man is probably a more likely horror icon to appear in this universe over than, say, Freddy Krueger. Anyways, rest assured that "swatting him with a willow" will not be as effective as one would hope. I mean, if you've seen half the vids of him online, he doesn't exactly move like a human would...
Good to know I used the scenery and motifs well, because apparently, that's the only thing I did well on this story.
Hope I don't disappoint with this, at least further than I already have.
I am scared and alone right now.....0_0 I feel like crying this story is fucking scary....
.....they will die, i know it.....
Hate to break it to you bro, but my story already has this title. Maybe you could use something different?
1406000
I don't think you should have any fear of people referring to this over your story. Your's is far better written than mine.
1406085 Oh, thanks!
I was just telling you because I think it's against the rules, but I might be remembering it wrong. If you don't change it, I don't think the mods will do anything drastic though.
all relatives and close friends away [√]
cutoff from outside world [√]
investigating more and more the monster [√]
1406174
Oh, it's not against the rules, at least not that I know. Provided, I'm not ACTIVELY trying to rip you off or something like that. If it was, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have approved it.
1405954>>1406511
1406611
stop scaring me......
1406000>>1406085 Nah, it's not against the rules. Mine had the name before you both. Seems we're still going strong. Anyways, don't have the time to read this now, but I'll give it a go later. Always up for some Slender.
SLeNdEr
Why is this getting disliked?
1410462
Honestly I wish I knew. But then, I wish I knew why all my stories have two or more dislikes, why first time writers can get the feature box and 200 watchers, why dicks like Aegis Shield get lime lights, and why some of the best stories on this sight are hidden in panels that I can't search for.
Basically it. Also, it might be because I have it tagged as dark. There is no dark fic without a dislike.
1410547
That to me is wrong. Also I fucking hate Aegis Shield, the egotistical overly-pretentious prick, you write way better fanfiction. Anyway enough circle jerking, I'm off to bed.
1405681
I don't know why you say you screwed up everything else: I was more or less telling you that I -like- this story despite my misgivings over the way the premise is often handled, and to give you some food for thought. My only real complaint was that I didn't find the teasing particularly cute or funny, but, eh, I really don't know how to improve that without sitting down and chewing this story for another hour.
Also... lots of hate for Aegis Shield. I mean, I really dislike What Princesses Need and what it has done to TwiLuna shipping as a whole... but, yeah, didn't know people actually hated the guy.
Huh.
Anyway, yeah, eagerly awaiting more.
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXYY0DHLkmQEMN-NGXP7HVfSrabn6M7LGR5YlW4WYLJpWxA8WzBA
I dont think i can sleep now
after that poem
The pegasus took notice, and was annoyance, instantly.
-I think you should get rid of the second comma and change it to annoyed instantly. That's just my opinion though.
Twilight brushed and snuggled closer
-Typo. Should be blushed. Unless you meant it that way?
So far this is awesome. But I couldn't really tell if there was any actually romantic relationship between Twi and RD, or just really heavy friend-shipping. The cuddling and back-and-forth banter was cute and enjoyable though.
If this is your first ever horror fic, then you are definitely doing something right. That last poem really got under my skin. Curse my stupidity for waiting until 10 PM to read this. It's gonna take me a while to fall asleep now.
I can't wait for more!
...I'm so glad I didn't read this last night...
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1423333 Oh shit...
th05.deviantart.net/fs70/150/i/2012/105/d/8/twilight_sparkle_scared_face_by_secretofmagic-d4wbpq9.png
More...Right now...more
i love slenderman in equestria fics
I am intrigued...
This is reader Coylie3 to Author, Author please respond.
Requesting tactical moar at this location, over.
Walkie-Talkies are still pretty fucking fun, over.
1...2 SLENDERS COMMIN FOR YOU 3...4 LOCK THE DOOR 5...6 LONG TENDRILS LIKE STICKS 7...8 TIME TO MEET YOUR FATE
I was beginning to thing that this was lame until that poem hit me... Excelent. Have a
.
*slow clap* I enjoy, I enjoy a lot.
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Slenderman starts with the children...
let the fun...begin
1626660 that is exactly wat i was thinking... i was just sitting here reading then it hit me *WHAM* Right on my forehead and i was all like
oh shit this not good then i was all like 
luna will save us and then i was all like 
because pip might not survive 
it is sickening but 
Awesome
1627305
Fun? I LIKE..... FUN!!! 
... Huh.
Seems like your writing a horror movie. Even starting the whole thing out with a cat scare. :P
Luna seems to be... acting odd. I don't buy her story. She was hostile to RD and Twi helping, like she didn't think they were up to it or equal to the task, and she gave a non-answer to the question of how she knew Pip was missing. If there is anyone in cosmos Luna would rely on in her time of need, it would be Twilight. Either she's OOC or there is something going on we haven't been told yet.
1628002
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/298/4/8/trying_to_apply_logic_by_shadow608-d5iwfgl.png
1626267>>1626660>>1627305>>1627452
If any of you think you know where this story is going.... I'll give you a cookie, double stuff.
1629077its a trap!!?
Excited for new chapter.
Terrified by what happen to Pip.
THIS SHIT JUST GOT REAL
I PREDICT LUNA FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.
DAMIT A WILD CLIFFHANGER APPEARED FFFFFUUUUUUUU
Thou had better get thy next chapter out soon... I'm warning you
something tells me luna is going to know exactly who slenderman is and proceed to freak out
Luna: Oh shi...
Incomplete? Aw. It ends REALLY good, honestly. ;) But, I love it so far. Maybe just because I read it at midnight last night and thus had the Slender chills despite all rational thoughts telling me otherwise. It's probably why I somehow slept in until I was 2 hours late for school just now.