• Member Since 29th Sep, 2019
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Nova Star Sparkle

A guy with a brain that doesn't care about feasibility, but fun. Moreover I render Alicorns way to overpowered. xD


Twilight Amicitia Aurora Sparkle:

"Goddess of Harmonic Forces"
"Crownprincess of Equestria"
"The Protector of Pony Kind"
"Goddess of Magic"
"One of the divine three"
"Heavensent of the Stars..."

That all were just a few of the many titels the youngest alicorn princess of Equestria was known too.

It sure might be nice and had it´s benefits to be a kind of litteral goddess. Yet she herself couldnˋt care less for her near omnipotence and limitless wisdom.

What were all her titels; powers of the god of gods; all the knowledge one could wish for and an immortal live and body worth when one had like no actual friends?

After breefly seeing five young mares at their honoring ceremony. Just barely some hours after they averted a recent threat, she decides to taste her luck and aproach them in friendship - after all friendship is a kind of harmony, isn´t it?

An alicorn seen as an omnipotent goddess by her subjects. Approaching five seemingly ordinary mares...what could possibly go wrong about that....

G5, it's ponies and events are seen as uncannon and never to be happened (or happening) for this story and it's arc. Familiar names used are solely for the purpose of "Royal Friendship" and it's separate alternate universe storyline.

Cover Art made and used with Permission by zidanemina . Definitely check it out. Thatˋs some serious quality over there!:raritywink:

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 63 )

The spelling and grammar in the long description needs serious work. I would see to that ASAP if I were you, as that sort of thing puts off genuine readers and attracts trolls. I recommend reading the site writing guide, it's actually really good and will help you avoid these sort of situations.

I read the guide and did some little work. If it is still wrong I seriously don't understand the issue. I'm not native english and try to do my best. So Yeah...

If it is something very obvious I lack to see. Maybe you could give me a tip. I would be very grateful about that:twilightsheepish:

the artwork makes them look like yugioh cards.

Maybe the Artist inteded it that way. I myself never watched or played it so I don't know.

Wouldn't this be considered an AU?

Yes it would. Did I forget to add the Tag? Whops :facehoof:

Can't wait for more

I read the description of your story and it definitely has great potential, but in its current state it is in need of some serious editing. Absolutely no hate, and maybe this weekend I can go through it again and DM you some pointers.

That would be very kind of you. I give my best in english, but Ìm not native and that means I make obvious mistakes without knowing I did them. ;)

Yeah, English is a tough language even for native speakers :rainbowlaugh:

My main problem is spacing and short sentence's. Iˋm not bad in english, but far from the best:rainbowlaugh:

Two things you might consider:

Dividing this one long chapter into two smaller ones. You have a lot of material packed in a small

You start out talking about how Twilight is the youngest Alicorn but then a few sentences later you are talking in depth about the universal creation and Alicorn super-immortality. I'm rather confused by this. Is Twilight an ageless creation being? Or is she the youngest of this guardian race that has only a few millenia under her belt rather than wholesale "beginning of time"?

Yes, you can say alicorns are ageless creation beings. They were there even before the universe was. How and why they are and exist not even they know as there was nothing other than them in existance, but they know they want the universe to be at peace.

Like you might have noticed, I wrote alicorns as beings that strive to peace and harmony above all other things.

To clear up the thing with Twilight being the youngest of the three...I might have not made it clear enough for others as it makes perfect sense in my own mind. Sorry!:twilightblush:

Twilight is in termes of existence with a physical body on Equus the youngest. She did stay the longest of the three sisters up in their home (Thats the heavens or astral dimension to clarify it) to watch Luna and Celestia grow up down on Equus/Equestria. She also watched over them and protected them like a good "big" sister does. Even if an alicorn is incredible strong and can defend itself as you might have noticed. Twilight just had the devotion to protect them to the full of her abilities - spoiler thats a good much.:twilightsmile:

So in termes of that she would be technically the youngest. Yet they all three existed in some spirital or mental form since times immorial. As said they are older than the universe and that one is at least 13.8 billion years old.

Hope that makes sence!:scootangel:

Oh and hence I forget. I already divided my one chapter in two sections and this is the first half of it...whops:rainbowlaugh:

Yeah it still is very long. Yet I don't know where to cut it in half. Have a suggestion?

Okay so Twilight was the last to leave the metaphorical nest and from a mortal standpoint the newest (youngest) of the goddesses.
That does help, thanks.

I'll take some time tomorrow to run through things and as to not clog up your story comments I'll DM you.

This new chapter is great! I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

You're welcome. Hope to see more of your chapters and remember: I believe that God has put gifts and talents and ability on the inside of every one of us. When you develop that and you believe in yourself and you believe that you're a person of influence and a person of purpose, I believe you can rise up out of any situation.

A possible continuity error:

From chapter 1:
"The mysteries surrounding her mighty Elements of Harmony and their origins was one thing she was keen to keep a secret. There were simply too many beautiful fantasies and stories, as well as lovers of these, to destroy the crafted image"

This chapter:
"The answer was simple. It was common knowledge that I had created all six elements of Harmony."

I just love goddess twilight stories! Does anyone have recommendations on that trope?!

Well there would be all of my own other Stories first:twilightsheepish:

Two more Stories where Twilight ist incredible powerfull and overpowered - so a god. (that's a good Joke. As If that where possible). While not explicit mentioned that She ist a Goddess I would say She is powerful enough to be one. It depends how one specifies what a god is. Just powerful? Just immortal? All knowing? All three of it? Anyway both stories are very good and worth the read. I never regretted any second I read the two.:scootangel:

- The First Law of magic - Jest
- A Witch in broad daylight - Epsilon-Delta

Long live the Empress - Mystic Sunrise (also a story involving Twilight being a godly being)

Lastly there is "The Immortal Game" - a very known story with thousands of reads. For my personal taste its nothing as I can't really stand violence (heavy violence even less) very good. Maybe you like it.

I love the idea you have! I'm all for all powerful alicorn goddesses myself :twilightsmile: (even thinking of doing one myself in the future :raritystarry:) you just get a teensy weensy bit distracted with the narrative and all the topics you want to write are all jumbled up together that's all, (well maybe a few grammar and spelling mistakes here and there but we all make them, right?) but so far I. Am. Loving. THIS!! Please grace me with more updates author! :rainbowkiss:

Yeah I am well aware that all my topics are pretty jumbled and I get rather distracted. Sadly that's a thing I have to bear, I can't focus onto something for basically more than 10 minutes straight. I give my best but sometimes I get ideas while proofreading and have to implement that too. Can't simply leave that out:twilightsheepish:

I'm not a native english speaker so it's sometimes hard for me to see mistakes. (Also quiet - quite and their - there...) Just two instances where I have a lot of trouble using the right one even if I know what all of them mean.

Thanks for your comment. I will work on this story next - in the future once I'm up to date with my main story Line "The Alicorn Book".

Oh so the alicorn book is the main storyline? should I have read that first or...?

Oh no no. "Royal Friendship" and "The Alicorn Book" are two entirely separate Storylines.

"The Alicorn Book" however is what started all my writing and what I see as my main Story to write as it (and itˋs sequels one day) will be by far the longest. You surely can read that one too but it isnt linked to anything in "Royal Friendship"

Chapter 1 suggestions that anyone could use alicornite but doesn't out of respect. Meanwhile, this chapter suggests that it's unusable by most due to its heating requirements.

Yes I know that is a bit confusing, let me explain. Everyone is basically free to use alicornite, as there is no law that makes it illegal. Due it's heating resistance it is however as good as nearly impossible to melt and use it if your not an alicorn yourself. Also there is the natural aspect of the inhabitants of Equestria having a great respect for their immortal leaders - the alicorn's. Even if they could melt it, they wouldn't as they see it as a lack of honor to the alicorns.

Hope that helps, if not...well it makes at least sence for me.:scootangel:

So one of the two Pegasus - but which one?

the unmistakable voice of the cyan pegasi sounded through the still closed door

*cough cough*

:unsuresweetie: No really were do you see the problem? I hinted at either Shy or Dash as they are both pegasi and Twilight is fairly able to distinct the voice of Rainbow Dash if she hears it. They don't actually sound anything alike...

Haha, no no no. You just swapped singular and plural here.
It should be "one of the pegasi" and "the cyan pegasus", right?

Oh yeah thats right, it should. Fixed it, thanks!

Aww thanks. Trying to write the next chapter but it's so damn hot rn in my country😅

I found a few mistakes:

NO! How ever do any of you five dare?”

Change the „ to " .

The others are save, I am save and that´s all that matters for me.

Change save to safe.

I also found a few mistakes in the short preview:

Still, even they can' t prevent everything. Yet no one can deny that they wouldnˋt be concerned about the world they have created

Still, even they can't prevent everything. Yet no one can deny that they wouldn't be concerned about the world they have created.

Another amazing chapter😁

Mistakes were made, but now they aren't. Thanks for making me aware of it. (These Damm ", always a hassle to find them all if for whatever reason they aren't were they should)

I don't know why but my autocorrect didn't notify me of any of these errors. Might be because I write my chapters on my PC, correct them on my phone (as that is a chilly position to do) and then get them back into word for a bit of last "polishing" before posting.

Hope you liked the story so far anyway! Words like save/safe, quite/quiet/, before/bevor are still hard ones for me to not missuse.:scootangel:

Nice pic, I like it

Thanks, it certainly is an awesome pic and the sole reason the Story came to be in the first place. It however wasn't created by me as I do not possess any skill in drawing (at least I think so as I never intended to give it a try). There is far more awesome art from the artist that made this cover and was gracious enough to give me the permission to use it.

You can just ignore Blueblood's title, it's nothing more than one of Faust's brain farts.
He was supposed to a be a duke, but the execs at Hasbro weren't sure if little kids would know what that is, so in a flash of wisdom she just made him a prince.
A "nephew twenty times removed" or so. Well, dear Lauren Faust doesn't know what a niece is or how adoption works, so why would she know how royal titles work ^^.
Not to mention that Celestia and Luna don't have any other siblings and therefore can't even have any nieces or nephews^^... or that the nephew of a monarch wouldn't bare the royal title of 'prince'.
The only way for Blueblood to be a 'prince' is for him to be the firstborn son of a duke, which would allow him to use the style of 'prince'. Not a royal title, but it would make a 'Prince Blueblood' possible.
(It was different in Britain I think, but it was actually a thing in sovereign duchies in continental Europe)

Btw, your logic is just as flawed as hers.
None of the nobles are first degree relatives of these three goddesses, so there wouldn't be any other "normal princesses" in the first place.

Hmm, I find the concept quite interesting, but the execution/style of narration so far gives me headaches.
You switched to first person, but you are treating Twilight like an omniscient third person narrator.

If you want examples with a good mix of dialogue, internal monologue and narration, with nerdy, powerful (and later rather ruthless) Twilight as a first person narrator, I'd recommend you read iisaw's "The Alicorn Advertures" series for reference.

And, as harsh as it may sound, maybe don't spend over half of every chapter on reminding us that Twi is a mighty alicorn goddess?
Seriously, I'm six chapters in, 45.000 words, and nothing has happened yet. Nothing. 45.000 words about how powerful Twilight is.
Well, she's written a letter. It was a powerful letter about cake, so that counts I guess. Then she did a pointless thing, in a very powerful way, and gave Shining her powerful regards. And finally, she scared and almost ended the element bearers, because she's so frickin powerful.
I know I'm being a bit of an ass right now, but I hope you see the point I'm trying to make.
Your main character is too busy being all powerful to actually do anything that'd amount to more than a one-liner in her diary.

Uh what? But thanks anyway!

Without any reference what your trying to tell me I´m lost for what you want. Something wrong with Blueblood and its title? Obviously yes, because he is a dick and shouldn't have any authority at all. If the show did it wrong than thats the reason it is here too. I never looked it up how royalty works. The alicorns rule Equestria as supreme beings and high princesses, thats all I care for. (High princess because Equus has more than just three alicorns that hold the title of princess and these three are just very unique and special ones.)

Than you probably wont read the story to its end anyway. I treat Twilight like an omniscient third person narrator for she kind of is. (Wont do that again however, it gives me headaches as well writing sometimes but I am to crazy to care about :rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:) Her abilities will give her insight over the forth wall if that is what you need to be happy ^^
If I find the time I might read it!

Ehhh I can try at least xD Turn down the mighty omnipotent goddess Twilight, noted and remembered:raritywink:

Thats kind of the point of the story apart from the fact she intends to form a friendship with these five mares... Alicorns are here part of the literal existence as you probably already know, what else than omnicient and all-powerful should they be?

The point of the story is: Twilight wants a friendship; she is a deity and everypony is to afraid to displease her as a goddess than to even think about her as a "simple" pony. Twilight intends to chance that but powerful things ensured and also will ensure. You happen to almost kill the elements of harmony by accident if your as powerful as Twilight. Simply happens!!! Thats it. There wont be any adventure like you find in Harry Potter or, to remain in the fandom, "The Enchanted Series" by monochromatic. Yes it could be a one-liner in a diary, but honestly...I dont understand half the things I do and write myself. It brings me fun and that is what counts.

I couldnt not write about alicorns as gods or anything less. I also have a high fantasy but bringing it to paper...well THAT is something else entirely.:facehoof:

I like doing and thinking about pointless things in a powerful and unrealistic way. Thats what fiction is for.

Anyway, thanks for your comment and critism. I however have no idea how to apply most of it. Royal Friendship is almost finished (I think so at least) and to now squeeze in some top tier adventure will never work out.

Comment posted by protator deleted Sep 15th, 2023

I was referring to your authors note.
And like I said, unless your Celestia, Luna or Twilight have daughters, there can't be any other royal princesses beside them. The royal family consists of those three. The distinction and the title of 'High Princess' is therefore unnecessary.
If you absolutely want to have other 'princess' characters in your story then realistically those could only be the heirs apparent of duchies within the principality, who use 'princess' as a style but aren't actually equestrian royalty.


Royal Friendship is almost finished

Well, in that case there's no reason for me to not read to the the end. That statement confuses me quite a bit, tho.
I haven't read the latest chapter yet, going to do that shortly, but the end of this chapter felt like we were finally done with the prologue and moving into the actual story ... and you're telling me there won't be any kind of adventure over which Twi and the bearers can bond? So far she's gone to the library, said hi, squeezed them a little too hard and apologized for it.
Now you've actually got me curious how this setup is going to turn into a proper friendship.
Reading "Elemental" now ...

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