ANgrantAN
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So did Twilight just collapse from being drunk or did she get struck by a car?
1280424 Probably both, e.g: She drunkenly collapses into the path of an oncoming car.
It really sucks that you can only press the like or dislike button once. Since I can't spam the like button, here's a giant internet cookie, for a f***ing awesome story.
i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w468/x_iHeartMLP_x/chocolate_chip_cookie1.jpg
For the sad tone, you could've added more depressing words, for example at the start instead of:
"As the sun finally began to dip below the far distant mountains, it casted an orange glow over the land.", you could have:
As the sun began its descent to the void of the mountains, crimson blood seeped through the remaining openings.
YOU HAVE TAKEN ALL OF MY FEELS!!!
I hate to sound like a cold hearted bastard but this wasn't sad at all....oh well!
MY FEELS TAKE THEM
then I was like 
First I was like
Lemongrab voice: This is...UNACCEPTABLE!!!
The like button won't let me press it more than once.
Amazing story! Very well written. There are a few spots where you stopped a sentence short where a comma could have gone. One paragraph in particular seemed rather choppy because of it. Also, I feel like this story could have been better if the characters were kept as ponies, though I'm usually pretty averse to humanized stories so take that as you may. Also, how much poison was in that cupcake? That was awfully quick for an amount that a regular woman could get a hold of... Either way, exceptionally well done!
1280443 he based the story off the picture. It is logical for the the characters to be human if the subject matter is based off a humanistic representation.
Good story
1280443
And what is wrong with humanizing them?
Absolutely nothing at all. The story is from THAT WRITER'S OWN IMAGINATION. It is his creation, and therefor, he gets to choose how he wishes it to be.
If you do not like humanized stories, then why did you read this?
To the author:
Well done! You gave me feels
1281191
I support whatever a writer chooses to write within his or her story.
If I find it is not to my liking, I move on and find something I do like.
Pretty simple.
And if you wanna good cupcake story... let me find that one where Pinkie does her thing to Derpy. That one I enjoyed.
i just spent three hours reading twipie stories with happy endings to counter balance these sad feels with more positive feels
1280463 that profile pic, its freaking awesome
You picked him apart about points that had no need for being picked apart. Thats not critique. Thats tearing someone apart.
The third tag clearly states "Human", and you ripped into him like a rabid doberman on a three legged cat because it was a humanized story. And the moving on I referred to was about finding a story to your liking. And you choose that I need to take that advice and submit to you a victory while you claim to have "moved on".
Tell me something, is your favorite pony Trollestia?
(oh, btw, the cupcakes I refer to would make the antagonist in the Saw movies vomit up his lunch, they're that good. Nothing wrong with a little gore... ok, a LOT of gore now and then)
1281239 Thx
You know, I never said his work was perfect. Far from it. I did like it though, I will admit.
I stand by my words on this topic. And you accuse of someone acting like a 12 year old. Someone must not like mirrors I guess.
And he DID state the reason. That it was based on the cover picture for the story.
Even then, just his decision to want to write a humanized pony story es enough.
Basically, he gave a valid reason, and you tore him apart for it just the same.
You can deny all you wish, but your words are there. (unless you decide to go back and edit out the words from your comment.)
Well, I am off to read another story. At least until I find more entertainment within this comment thread.
1281286
I enjoy humanized because it's kinda weird to think of two animals going at it, even if it's just slight romance. *sage nod*
Though I like you for using the word "douche-canoe" in a sentence. :)
And as for the author: Thanks. This one was good.
Your fourteen, but your acting like an eleven year old.
And, to be honest, what points did you make?
I didn't see anything valid.
1280443
well ponys would SEE them if they had Carriages because there needs to be a different pony driving and they wouldn't be driving as fast because the carriage can only go as fast as the one driving :3 (plus it makes sense)
Aww...
No fun. Although, I don't know many poisons that would work that quickly. Maybe you could have Pinkie take a bite of the cupcake and then just lay down of her own accord and slowly fade out that way? (Unless it wasn't poisoned, and she literally choked on it, of course). But it was a good story. I'm a sucker for TwiPie (totally my otp) and I think you did well with this one. If anything else, I would have shown a little more of them while Twi was alive, maybe her remembering their first date or first kiss or something, to not only make the story longer, but to let us as the readers see more of the relationship and make the ending that much more sad. ( I mean, it's sad anyway just cause Twi is dead, but you know what I mean, right?)
1281393>>1281372 While reading your comments was entertaining, I know I don't like it when people fight (and that is what it seemed like) in my story comments. Dimondium had really valid points (and dude, you're 14, really? Wow. You seem more mature than me, and I'm way older than you). And they make sense for the most part. Though I can't really think of a reason that a story would need human characters instead of ponies (in a staying in Equestria story, anyway). Biker_Dash, dude, if the author needs defended, the author can do it. They were valid questions that I wondered myself until I went back and read the AN. I almost always skip those when they're at the start of a chapter.
Feels.
You hit me right in them.
I'm just trying to figure out what "valid" points he made... From my perspective, there was none.
Sooo... Correct me if I'm wrong, but we are all here because we all like a cartoon about friendship, right? All I'm saying, not feeling the magic from you two
1281547
Sorry about the lack of using the quote button. That was my mistake.
And on seperate opinions, you just now made a valid point, one which I should have been able to recognize on my own without having it pointed out to me.
For that, I do concede to you on this.
them feels
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1281567
I think Vash's saying was LOVE AND PEACE lol...
Wait, this is MLP:FiM, not Trigun
Thanks you guys for all your responses, positive and negative. I was looking for constructive criticism, and that's exactly what I found. I wrote this as a spur of the moment thing, so I'm not sure if I'll do something similar again. If I do, I will take all of your feedback into account. A thousand brohoofs to all those who took a moment to leave a like or dislike and a comment.
Oh, and I /did/ enjoy reading the comments
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Let's all have a moment of silence to mourn Twilight and Pinkie Pie's death.
(It was the best mouning icon I could find!)
Too many feels static.fjcdn.com/pictures/My+Little+Dashie.+True+Story+and+anyone+who+s+read+it_f3b5b5_3268069.jpg
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Oh, my God! I feel touched! I can't believe someone made a fanfiction to my picture! I'm honored! I want to thank you, and say you have made my year!
Lovsies~ Rachel Brevdo 
1283214
No, thank you for inspiring me.