Gertie's Equestrian Tour

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

It's Getting Kind Of Crowded In There...

“Heh. They’ll never find me in here.”

A well-dressed stallion in a three-piece suit sat down next to Trump Card. “Greetings, Mr. Card. I’m Triplicate Form with the Equestrian Revenue Service. You didn’t really think getting eaten by a dinosaur meant you wouldn’t have to pay your back due taxes, did you?”

“I’m sure this is just an accounting mistake. I’ll just contact my accountant and he’ll clear this all up like he always does.”

“You haven’t paid taxes in more than twenty years, Mr. Card.”

“My accountant’s really good.”

“Yes, I am. Or rather, I was. Much like your taxes, you haven’t paid me for my services these past two decades either,” replied Pocket Protector from somewhere else in the dark recesses of Gertie’s gut. “I took the liberty of bringing some friends with me.”

“Remember when I painted your house? I’m still waiting to be paid for that.”

“Please sir, my family and I have been maintaining your property. We require more than one bit a month. I know we just arrived here from Mazein, but it is my understanding that ponies are paid more than this.”

“Trump Card, we finally meet. I’m Chief Thunderhooves. You had my tribe of buffalo designated as ‘ponies’ so we would lose our federally protected status, and then stole our reservation to put up your casino.”

“I went to your ‘Trump Card University’ and it was a joke. I want my money back!”

“This is Van Sham from the dealership. Your wagon’s extended warranty is about to expire.”

“Hi! I’m Thin Mint Ginger Snap Tag-A-Long Whatever my fandom name is this week! Wanna buy some Filly Guide cookies?”